Pete Wentz Blog and Journals

SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN SO LONG. ITS MAH BIRTHDAY TODAY. CHYEAHHHH

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William -

'BABE' I yelled out to Cass, the fall out boy tour bus was about to pull up any moment, and all the other bands were posed around their parking spot in battle pose.

Cass looked at me, and came running over. A giant smile on her face, I could tell it was these things that she really loved doing.
"Don't go to far away! I need to you protect me!" I winked at her, and she saluted me with an army pose.
"Yes sir," she replied. "I will make sure you survive this battle of epic proportions without any battle wounds, SIR"
she saluted again and walked off.
Things like that made me love her even more. She turned around and winked at me as she walked away, back to her Hey Monday gang. Ready for attack.

We had decided that it was better to stay in our band groups, so if one band went down, usually TAI, they would go down together. Paramore was prepared, because the band was made up mainly of dudes, and that fiery redheaded singer would never let her team down. Hey Monday was in the same position, with Cass the Queen of practical jokes, her once taking me hostage from TAI for the day. And keeping me locked in a cupboard.

Slowly, the FOB tour bus rounded the corner, and we all spread a little so the driver could get it into it's parking space. We immediatley made a ring around the bus, maign sure there was no possible means of escape. They had to leave sometime.



Patrick -

I was sitting next to our driver as we pulled up.
"YOU GUISE, COME HERE" I yelled into the back, and all the band and sarah came tumbling forward.
We stood wide eyed as we saw how prepared the other bands had come. The majority of them holding water guns, some no doubt filled with vinegar and wee. Some holding buckets, with massive sponges absorbed with water. Then, so of them hand different paints, glittlers and feathers.

As we pulled into the parking spot, all the bands made a ring around us. There were no means of escape.
"I guess we stay in here for the night then, they wont be able to stay out there forever" i said.

Andy slowly raised his hand.
"I may have an issue with that" he said.
"I have been needing to go twosies for a while now, and we can't do that on the bus"

We all sighed, this was going to be a battle.

I walked to the door of the bus, holding sarah protectivley as she laughed, I put my hand on the doorhandle.
"WAIT!" Pete yelled seeming to remember something. He ran off into the back of the bus, and came back with 5 waterguns.
"You just keep these hanging around then?" I asked as he tossed one to each of us, already filled.
"You never know when a weapon will coem in handy" he winked at me.

I put my hand back on the hand, and pushed down, allowing light to flood into the bus. Let the battle begin.

What can one say about a movie that's 16 minutes long, especially when the film festival staff let everyone in 5 minutes after they've started playing said movie? I'm gonna give it a shot, anyway...

Chapter 8-We're only liars, but we're the best.

I dreaded the thought of Friday night all week long. The thoughts of my lies weighed on my mind more than usual, but my phone took my mind off both of these thoughts for little bits at a time. Unfortunately, the one school day that actually went fast was the day I didn't want it to. My mom insisted on picking me up from school that day so that I could go home and help clean the house from top to bottom before I got dressed. We were getting extremely dressed up, and she bought me a long black very conservative dress to wear. I tried it on when she gave it to me, and I guess it wasn't the worst thing she could have picked out. We scrubbed the house until about five when my dad came home. I ran up to my room to get ready, and I figured that I would actually put effort into my appearance just to make my parents happy. I put on the dress and swept my hair back elegantly. I fixed my makeup a little to make it a little more subtle, and then checked my reflection in the mirror. I actually looked really good, so I took a few pictures just for fun. It was almost six by the time I was done and downstairs, and right on cue the Wilsons rang the doorbell. I opened the door as instructed and led them into the house where my parents were waiting to greet them, also. I plastered a fake smile on my face that I planned to keep there for the rest of the night. Suddenly, my mom swooped next to me and casually put her arm on my shoulder. "Emily you obviously know Brent, but you haven't met Mr. and Mrs. Wilson yet." As I had been taught to do, I stuck out my hand for a warm shake and a 'nice to meet you' for both-all completely fake. My dad suggested that we move into the dining room, and we all followed, me and Brent somehow ending up behind everyone else, therefore getting the last two seats that just happened to be next to each other. I sighed quietly to myself and sat down. Brent smiled a bit, but we stayed mostly silent. Our parents were talking about a lot of thing that we didn't care about at all, and we didn't really have anything to talk about ourselves. It was the most awkward five minutes of my life. Yes, only five minutes had passed. Finally, my mom got up to get the food. It seemed a bit less awkward as we filled our plates, but soon we were expected to make conversation for ourselves. "So, it was pretty funny when you played along with that thing with Andy at homecoming," I started. "Yeah, I guess so," he continued. "I was hyper and happy that I wasn't wasted." He lowered his voice for the last part of the sentence, but the parents were too wrapped up in their conversation to hear or care. I nodded, taking a bite of food so that I didn't have to continue the awkward conversation. "You're still dating Pete?" he asked, also quietly thank God. I just nodded and put a finger to my lips. He nodded, understanding my silent message. "The food is good," Brent said a bit louder when the adults fell silent. "Thank you, Brent!" my mom said a little too happily. I looked down to hide my unavoidable eye-roll. Brent saw it and smirked a bit. I kept my mouth closed as much as possible that night, and I swear it was the most awkward event I have ever been put through. It was worse than sex ed in fifth grade, if that tells you anything. It was much, much worse. The two and a half hours that the Wilsons spent with us felt like two and a half days, but soon they left so that I could retreat to my room and call Pete. "How was your dinner party?" he asked as soon as he picked up. "It fucking sucked," I admitted. "It was the most awkward thing I have ever had to endure." He laughed. "Are you laughing at my pain?" I smiled a real smile for the first time in hours. "Possibly," he admitted. "I cannot confirm or deny." I sighed, smiling to myself. "For some reason, I have Romeo and Juliet running through my head," I mused randomly. Pete was silent, but I could tell he was smiling. "Really? That gives me an idea." I sighed happily. Suddenly, I heard my mom's voice from downstairs, calling me. "Ugh, I have to go," I whined. "Fine," he sighed, obviously still happy with his idea. "Talk to you later! Love you!" I hung up quickly as my mom called my name again. I headed down the stairs, happy that I didn't have the fake smile or the dress on anymore. "Come help me clean up a little bit," she ordered. I did what I was told quietly, but then she started making conversation. "So it was a nice night, wasn't it?" I simply nodded and continued my job. "Brent seems like a nice boy," she continued. "I was thinking when you two were talking that you should consider him for a boyfriend!" It took all my strength not to puke right there. If only she knew what happened at Ryan's party, she would take that back right away. And besides, she has no fucking clue what I thought about him, and my guess was that she didn't want to know anyway. I just pushed it out of my mind and thought of Pete instead so I would be able to finish my chores without having too much of a problem. When I was silent, I thought my mom got the message. I thought wrong. "All I'm saying is consider it," she continues. "I'll end it there." Thank God, I thought as I picked up the last dish and put it away. "Okay, well I'm going to go to bed," she announced, obviously disappointed that I wasn't considering Brent as an option. "Okay, good night," I said very monotone. She went up the stairs with no further conversation, which was much better for me. I sighed and decided that I would follow suit. I headed up to my room, but decided to try to write a bit before sleeping. I only lasted about half an hour before I wanted to turn off my light. I was almost asleep when I heard a small tap to my left. I knew my parents were asleep, so I just ignored it-that is until I heard it again. I got out of bed to see what it was, and heard the noise a third time. By then, I had figured out it was coming from my window. I saw a figure standing outside, so I opened my window to see Pete standing on the lawn, ready to throw another pebble. "It's Romeo," he announced quietly. I smiled widely down at him, not sure what to say. "You gave me the idea when you said that you were thinking about Romeo and Juliet," he explained happily. "Why don't you come down here and join me?" My smile faded for only a moment. "I can't, my parents would hear the door open." He grinned widely. "Come down through the window," he suggested. "I'll catch you if you fall." I only hesitated for a moment before I removed the screen and started climbing out the open window, completely trusting Pete. As soon as he could reach, he had his hands on me to reassure me. Eventually, he lifted me down so that I was safe in him arms. He kissed me, and put me down. "You are so cute!" I announced quietly. He laughed a bit and kissed me again. I put my hand behind his head to deepen the kiss. We only separated to catch our breath. "I think I like you better than Pete, Romeo," I whispered. "But don't tell him I said that." He smiled and down in the grass, putting me in his lap. "So how was your night with the Wilsons?" he asked. "That sounds like a bad movie title-Night with the Wilsons. Anyway, it was okay, just really awkward. And I mean really awkward. And then after they left, my mom said that I should think about Brent for a boyfriend." Pete laughed. "You and Brent would definitely be interesting. At least you know he loves you when he's drunk." I smiled a little at that. We talked mindlessly for about an hour until I almost fell asleep on Pete's shoulder. "It might be smart for you to go back up to your rooms before you're too tired," he advised. I yawned and nodded. He helped me back up through the window, and I leaned out to say goodbye before putting the screen back in. "Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow," he quoted from Romeo and Juliette. I smiled and blew a kiss. "I love you!" He took a step back. "I love you too, Emily!" he called. I put the screen back in as he walked to his car and watch his tail lights speed down the street.

I woke up in the morning still happy from the night before with Pete. His actions had set in stone my decision that he was worth the risk. I didn't even get out of bed to talk to Pete; I just grabbed my phone and called him. We planned that he would pick me up on our corner in an hour, so I told my mom what my plans were with "Lindsay" and got ready as fast as possible, grabbing my phone on my way out the door. Pete was already at the corner when I got there. "Hey Romeo!" I greeted him happily. He smiled and stole a quick kiss. "We have no plan," he started. "I figured we could just do spur of the moment stuff all day." I nodded. "Sounds great!" We sped down the street again towards Pete's apartment. As he unlocked the door, my phone vibrated. I answered it, planning on keeping the conversation short. "What's up Andy?" I asked right away, putting on a fake tone of annoyance to hopefully make him want to hang up sooner. "Just wondering if you guys would want to open for Starlight Motivation tonight." I covered the receiver of the phone to ask Pete, hoping he would say yes. Starlight Motivation was getting bigger with every passing day, and they were legendary locally. Everyone knew who they were, and opening for them would give us a much-needed popularity boost, at least around this area. At long last, he gave me the okay and I relayed the answer to Andy. We agreed to meet at Nights of Columbus hall at six because the show started at seven then turned my phone off to avoid further disruption. "Now that that's done," I started, sitting down on the couch next to Pete. He draped his arm over my shoulders and kissed my cheek quickly. "I can't believe it's already November," he mused to himself. "We're almost halfway through our senior year already. " I nodded, thinking about where I was going to go after this year. I had sent in college applications, of course, now I just needed to decide where or if I was going to go. I figured I'd wait to see what became of my lies, and then I'd decide. "So your mom wants you to date Brent?" he brought up again, obviously amused by the thought. "Yes, but it's never going to happen," I promised. "I know that, I just think it's kind of a funny thought." I nodded in agreement. My mom had no clue-about anything.

Meh. It's really short and just a filler again. I hate it. I think I'm going to jump a few months in advance for the next chapter, cuz that's where the fun stuff happens :) I've had the same idea in my head since august, and I'm just trying to get it there now. hope u like it...comment/buzz!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

(Sue's Pov)

I woke up to beeping and a baby crying?  I opened my eyes and groaned when I felt a pain in my stomach.  I looked around and I was in a hospital. I saw Pete sitting in the chair next to my bed with a baby in his arms.  I smiled at them. He was feeding her and I knew it was our little girl cause she was wrapped up in a pink blanket.  Pete looked up and smiled at me.

"Your up."  He said

I try to speak but nothing.

"Here."  Pete said handing me a cup.

I looked in the cup and water was in it.  I took a sip of it and cleared my throat.  I put the cup on the table and Pete got up.  He handed the baby to me and I took her.  She was beautiful.  She looked exactly like me.  I kissed her forehead and pulled the blanket tighter around her.  She looked like a little angel and I knew then that Angela was the perfect name for her.  Pete laid down next to me on the bed and he kissed the side of my head.

"How do you feel?"  Pete asked

"Stomach hurts."  I said

The door opened and two nurses came in.  They were pushing bassinets into the room and smiled.  My boys no take that back our boys.  The nurses greeted me and one of them handed me one of the boys.  I smiled as I looked at the little boy in my arms. He had a cut on his forehead but other then that he looked fine.  A couple of days later I was release but I had to take it easy for awhile.  I sat down on the couch while Pete and Patrick took the kids upstairs to their rooms.  I laid my head back and closed my eyes.  I must have fallen asleep cause I heard voices.

"Should we wake her?"  I heard Patrick asked.

"No,let her sleep.  I'll be back.  I'm going to put her to bed."  Pete said

I felt arms going under me and then I was being lifted into the air.  I  was gently laid on the bed and my shoes was being taken off of me then covers were over me.

(Pete's Pov)

I kissed Sue on the forehead and walked out of the bedroom.  I went back downstairs and sat down on the couch.

"She's out."  I said to Patrick.

He laughed.

"Figure that." 

I laughed.  I was glad that everything was okay now.  Joe was getting the help he needed and the hospital fixed the automatic lock so now the crazy people can't throw water on it to short it out.  Sue was asleep upstairs and the kids were too.  Tyler had a scar on his forehead now since Joe pushed the scalpel in too deep.  Keith and Angela were healthy too and I felt like everything was going my way for once.  I really was glad that Sue and the kids were alright.  2 days in that hospital was enough for me and I would never go back to a hospital as long as I live.  I heard a baby crying so I got up and went upstairs.  Tyler was the one crying so I went into his room.  I walked over to his crib and picked him up.  I took him over to the changing table and change his diaper.  I finished changing him and picked him up.  I threw the dirty diaper away and took him downstairs.  I sat down on the couch.

"Can I hold him?"  Patrick asked

"Yea."

I handed Tyler to him and he took him.  He rocked him back and forth in his arms.

"Tyler right?" He asked

I smiled.

"Yep."

He nodded.  He started talking to Tyler and I smiled at them.  I heard Angela crying and went upstairs.  I got her and checked her diaper.  It was clean so I started bouncing her up and down.  I walked out of her room and was about to go down stairs when I heard Keith crying.  I sighed and walked into his room.  I picked him up too and went downstairs.  I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Patrick.

"I see you got your hands full."  Patrick said

I laughed.

"Yea."

Just then the doorbell rung.

"I'll get it since you have your hands full."  Patrick said

I nodded.  Patrick got up and walked over to the door.  He entered the living room with Andy and mine and Sue's parents. 

"Hey."  I said

"Hey."  They all whispered back.

"We thought we come and see Sue and the kids."  My mom said

I smiled and nodded. Everyone came over and I handed Keith to my dad and Angela to my mom.  I was glad that everything was alright again and that Joe was getting the help he needed.  Joe was back on his meds and was currently in the hospital.  No one could see him yet.  I knew Joe didn't mean to hurt Sue or anyone for that matter and I knew he would apologize when he was better.  Joe like Sue alot.  He told me when I first started dating her that she was the best thing that ever happen to me.  He was right when he told me that.  Sue was the best thing in my life and now my kids were apart of it. 

"Sue!"  Her mom yelled

I looked to see Sue coming down the stairs.  She smiled and hugged her mom.  She greeted everyone before she sat down next to me on the couch.  I kissed her cheek and wrapped an arm around her.  Things were perfect in our lives right now.  Our families and friends were here and the kids were healthy.  Sue was okay although she was going to have a scar on her stomach but other than that she was okay.  I was happy with everything and that I had my own family now. I would look after Sue and our kids.  I knew that everything was going to be hectic for awhile and I was okay with that.  As long as Sue and the kids were happy so was I.

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I know it's short but I could think of anything else to write.  It ended but I got new stories until my writer's block for Cause You Weren't There When I was Scared and You make me want to loose control go away.  I'm trying to update those stories but I am stuck right now.  New stories until then so enjoy.

Brendon was lead slowly up the stairs by Spencer who sat him down on the sofa and made them both coffee.
He sat down on the sofa facing his best friend but didn’t say anything.
He didn’t know what to say to help him or to make him feel better. There was nothing to say.
They both sipped on their hot coffees, staring at one another with the same lost look in both of their eyes.

“What do we do Spence? What do I do?” Brendon asked putting down his coffee onto the little table beside them.
Spencer, copying Brendon’s actions, shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know Bren, I don’t know what we can do, but we can do it together.”
Brendon giggled “That could sound so wrong Spence. So so wrong....”
Spencer smirked “Well I see your filthy mind hasn’t been affected at all...come on B.” He said standing up “lets get you back to bed”
Brendon nodded and followed Spencer back up the stairs but when they got to Brendon’s room he pulled Spencer in with him.

“Stay with me? Please? I don’t want to be on my own Spence.” he said, giving eyes that a grown man couldn’t say no to.
“Of course I will. You know I’d put my life on the line for you B...any time.”
“Thanks Spence, thanks..” Brendon then proceeded to lift his t-shirt over his head and climbed into the bed facing the wall.
Spencer then slipped in beside him and faced the rest of the room.
“G’night Brendon” he said, cuddling down against the covers.
“Night Spence” Brendon said back.

Spencer doesn’t know how much longer he laid there before he felt two strong arms wrap around his torso and soft lips pressed to the back of his neck.
“Why am I so in love with you Spencer Smith? I hardly even know you.”

Spencer didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

Heeey sorry I've been gone so long guys but I think that's everything sorted....
 I'm excited to start posting more and I thank you all for sticking with me! I love you all! <3

its up! its taking me longer to write this because i have a partial life.
haha PARTIAL.
enjoy! x

I'll promise you anything but another shot a life -
Chapter 11

Dear Pete,
              I’ve never really been hospital before, not since I broke my arm, my dad had warned me not to climb that tree but I never listen.
Have you ever been to hospital?
What for?
I bet you were like me always climbing things and being a general nuisance.
I’m still not sure Hayley’s okay, she’s a fighter really. She seemed angry when I saw her today, maybe she’s angry at herself for losing the baby.
I didn’t even know she was pregnant but she was, Ryan was gutted but that must be nothing compared to how she’s feeling.
I read the magazine article about it all. Front page news.
Thrilled. NOT.
They wrote how one of competition winners tried to commit suicide. There’s a picture of us that I would I have liked in better circumstances. I cut out the article anyway, it means a lot.
Is that wrong?
Did you ever nearly loose someone dear to you?

Your ever faithful admirer and one-sided pen-pal

Marie xxx

I sat on the table waiting for Patrick, not often anyone gets to say that.
I swung my legs under the table half childishly and half impatiently, I wanted no needed to see if Hayley was okay.

“You don’t look like you slept.” Andy commented as he opened the fridge for a drink.

“I haven’t” I answered rubbing my eyes sorely.

“Nightmares huh?” he guessed well.

“Yeah, just keep seeing her.” I confessed.

“Most people would don’t worry,” he smiled sympathetically.
I smiled back not really sure what to make of the situation. There then began a silence in the room that was anything but awkward, he was busy fishing around for his vegan yoghurt or something and I was allowed to silently getting on with mentally preparing myself.

“Hey, you’re early!” I solemnly raised my head and Patrick was there in the front of me putting a jacket on.

“Couldn’t sleep.” I explained dulcetly. “Couldn’t do anything.”

“Let’s go then, maybe afterwards you might get some sleep.” he reasoning was out by miles because I thought I could never sleep after this, I would just keep seeing her lying on the floor, my sister, my whole family, bleeding to death.
I slid off the table, waving goodbye to Andy as I did.

The drive to the hospital was unbearable, I couldn’t think of anything normal to say to Patrick as the cab drove us because it struck me how surreal my life was getting and just how far away from the ordinary I’d gone.
I was on tour with fall out boy.
Sitting in a cab with Patrick Stump.
Going to hospital to see my suicidal sister.
With a car full of photographers hounding us like criminals.
I looked at the cab clock, by this time I would normally only be at school staring listlessly at my textbook wondering if this was life.
But now some luck had finally struck and I was somewhere else, with my favourite people in the world.
We parked up and Patrick sighed looking around out the back of the cab at the photographers preparing their lenses.

“Do you think they ever sleep?” he joked. The futile attempt to make me laugh was nice.

“They probably run on rechargeable batteries like their cameras right?” I smiled back, feeling like he needed comforting about this too, I don’t think he went here often.

We got out the cab and the disorientating flashes kept me from looking up and telling them to clear off, I didn’t want to draw anymore attention to myself. There weren’t the hundreds you saw hanging around top celebrities but there were a fair few indeed.
They bustled trying to get our faces but Patrick shielded me and directed me into the hospital doors with a guiding arm, he didn’t react other than that.
Pete had yelled and defended to the death but Patrick took it with a dignified silence to them calling his name.
As soon as the hospital doors whooshed aside automatically they stopped taking pictures, not out of respect from the patients but because security came round and prised them away.

“Do you ever get used to it?” I asked Patrick in the lift and rubbing the flash spots on my eyes. Like when you look at a bright light and it leaves an imprint on your vision.

The hospital was as bleak and smelly as I’d imagined, the floor cleaned within an inch of their life and the corridors filled with the sound of whining shoes as we squeaked to Hayley’s ward.
I hesitated once we reached the swinging doors that would take us to her, it made me sick to my feet about what might be waiting.

“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked as I stopped.

“I don’t think I can go in.” I mumbled pathetically.

“Why?” he frowned boring his eyes into mine searching for reasoning behind this sudden change of heart.
I looked back at him, this small blonde man, and my friend, was more to me than most people.

“What if…” I started then bit my lip hard, biting down on the tears too. I had to be strong for Hayley.

“Come here.” he stretched out and arm and I slid under it. He rubbed my shoulders supportively. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but believe you me, you’ll regret it if you don’t.” I squeezed my eyes shut then slowly opened them, he was right.

“Okay.” I croaked and pushed open the swing doors to Hayley.

I spotted her immediately, from a distance she looked exactly the same as she normally did, he orange and blonde hair tousled across the pillow and her skin porcelain like a priceless china doll, but then as we got closer you could see the cracks.
Her hair was lank and lay listlessly on her pillow unkept, he skin was almost the exact colour of the white sheets only disturbed by the violet rings semi circled under her eyes.
I grabbed her hand the moment it was in reach,

“Hayley…” I muttered stroking her tiny knuckled with my thumb. “Oh Hayley why did you do this?” I felt my eyes well up and it wasn’t helped by Patrick putting a hand on my shoulder.

“She’s sleeping.” he whispered and I reached up to shake her shoulder, I felt like I was going to break her if I did it too vigorously, abnormal from her usual strength. Before I used to bowl into her and she’d stay exactly where she was, steady as pride rock.
Hayley’s eyes flickered open warily and then she saw me and turned her face away.

“Hayley, I’m here for you, I’m always here for you, why did you do it?” I would keep repeating this until she heard, and until she answered.

“Ashlee was right” Hayley had turned her face so I couldn’t see her cry but I could hear it in her voice. “she said I looked like the kind of girl who would be a young mum and she was right!” she snapped yanking her hand away from mine.

“Don’t listen to what Ashlee says.” I scoffed, “she was drunk, she didn’t mean it. Hayley, why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

“I didn’t want to be, I thought that…” she cut herself off and covered her face with her hands.

“You thought that if you didn’t say it, it wouldn’t be true.” I finished bleakly. She nodded shaking with silent sobs. I put my arm round her just appreciating the way her body moved alive.

“Does Ryan know?” I asked stroking her head, which she shook.

“I didn’t know how to tell him! I cant just come out with something like that over the phone!” fresh tears swelled and erupted from her slate eyes.

“Of course not” I soothed.

“But the hospital phoned him and now he’s gonna know and he’s going to be so mad I didn’t say anything! don’t let him leave me! Marie you can’t let him leave me!” she begged me, clinging reverently onto my shirt.

“I-I can’t promise that Hayley!” I reasoned. “you know I cant! But he wont leave you! Why would anyone leave you?”

“Thanks.” she whispered her mind clearly not soothed.

“Why did you drink the bleach?” I asked and she sat bolt up gripping the sheets tight in an determined clasp.

“Because I lost the baby and I thought I was better of dead than a failure!” she suddenly burst into howling, uncontrollable tears that seemed to echo through the walls of my head as well as the ward. I rocked her in our hug not minding one bit that her tears were staining my shirt along with her unwashed make-up.

“You’re not a failure Hails.”

“I am!”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because look at my life! I have no job prospects, no real family, I’m living off Ryan for fuck sake!” she smacked her palm against her head.

“You’re doing a damn sight better than me.” I laughed. “Just tell me what happened yesterday.”

“Well I got back into our room after Ashlee said those things and I was so angry! Because I knew I was pregnant, after you saw me crying at the pizza place, I realized I hadn’t had my period for a while and I knew, I could just feel it.” her hand slid up to her stomach self consciously. “I was in the room and I suddenly felt like my stomach was about to explode, I felt like I needed the toilet too, I sat on the bed but the pain wouldn’t stop, I saw the blood underneath me so I ripped my jeans off and there was blood…everywhere…I couldn’t…I knew…” she broke down again, nothing in the world could keep her together right now but Ryan.

He would be here tomorrow the doctors told her but she wouldn’t stop calling his name in the night, we stayed the night, I wanted Patrick to go home and get some proper sleep but he was adamant he wanted to stay here.

“RYAN!” Hayley shouted, I prised my eyes open again to quieten her.

“Sshh Hayley, it’s okay he’ll be here soon.” I repeated but her slate eyes were fixed glisteningly over my shoulder and I turned to see and Ryan was in the doorway staring back like he was in a daze.

I left after that because they had to talk and work things out together, I wasn’t needed anymore, Ryan had replaced me as Hayley’s one trustee.
I tried to sleep on the journey to the bus in the cab but I couldn’t close my eyes with seeing her on the bloody floor, or hearing her call for Ryan. We got back and Patrick put a secure arm round me helping me onto the bus.

Would Ryan forgive Hayley?

Would she get over this?

Would I ever get the old Hayley back?

I wish.

what did you think?

any suggestions? 
any predictions?

comment and buzz please! :)
Chicago x

I woke up on a hospital bed, various tubes and needles attached to my arm.  I lifted my head slighly to see if anyone lese was in the room.  Patrick was sleeping on the seat next to the door. I let my head hit the pillow.  How could I have wound up here after everything I went through before?  So many times I told myself I wouldn't let myself wind up here again.

"Morning sleepyhead." Patrick said from the corner.

I propped myself up on an elbow and saw Patrick approaching me.  He stood beside my bed and carefully pushed my shoulder back so I could lay down on the bed again.  He looked at me with his kind eyes and I knew what was about to come out.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I've known Patrick since I was a kid.  He was just another friend of Pete's.  But he was more my age than the rest of them and he conected with me better.  He was my friend and I knew tht, if I had met him on my own, he would always be my friend.  There were things I told him that I didn't even tell Kylie.  Those eyes never judged me; never.

I closed my eyeys tightly, not wanting to look at him. I knew, even now, that he would not judge me, would not get mad at me, or tell me what to do.  I knew that all he wanted was an answer; and a simple one at that.  But I couldn't help but feel guilty, as though I was a five year old who took a cookie before dinner and got caught.  This was nothing compared to being caught taking a cookie, though.  And it just made it so much worse.

"I was afraid to let you down." I said, eyes still closed.

His hand brushed against my forhead.  "You know that wouldn't happen."

"I'm sorry." I said oppening my eyes.  I sighed thinking about everyone else.  At that table was everyone who cared about me.  Now, they all knew the why and the what.  From what I learned last time, they would all start to ask questions about ewhere I was when I left to get some milk at the store, they'd go in my room and search through my rawers and they'd scream "Drug use!" whenever I got sick.

And then there was Pete.  Pete would cancel his plane ticket to Los Angeles, he would cancel every show, every tv appearance, every interview Fall Out Boy related t stay home and watch over me like an old woman on her death bed.

But why was I whining about this?  I had brought it uppon myself.  The only thing that bugged me was that everyone around me paused their own lives to care for mine.  I enjoyed the feeling that they cared, but because of me, they had to stop everything they were doing, just to make sure I wouldn't fuck up.

"He's not going to L.A., is he?" I asked.

Patrick opened his mouth as to say something, but closed it when he saw Pete enter the room.  He nodded to Pete and kissed my cheek before leaving the room and closing the door.

You'd think he would be furious, screaming his lungs out.  Instead, he had a warm smile on his face.  That was Pete for you.  Everytime I saw him, he was smiling.  Of course he got pissed and sad, but it had to be something really bad for him to make it known.

"Morning sleepy head." he said standing next to my bed.

Instead of replying a 'good morning' or giving him a smile, I just came out with the question.  "Are you staying?"

His smile fadded and his face turned grim.  He didn't want to deal with it now, but he and I both knew it was better here where both of us weren't steeming.

"Yes."  his response surprised me.  "I'm leaving in a week.  You're a gron woman and I trust you to do the right thing."

After so many years of living with Pete, he actually surprised me.  He was leaving me, knowing that I was recovering from drugs, to go life his own life.  Most people woulf be mad that their closest loved one was leaving at their time of need, but I, for one, was happy.  For once in my life, I didn't stop Pete.

I gave hima big smile.  "I'm happy for you."

That made him bend over and give me a hug.  It was an awkward hug seeing as I was in a bed and he was crouching over me, but neither of us were complaning.

For the first time in my life, I felt as though Pete and I were finally living our seperate lives instead of one for both of us.  For the first time in my life, my brother was going on as he should have done when he graduated High School.

Sort of a fill in chapter, but it's sort of the separationf of Pete and Cassadee.

No Zack in this chapter.  Next chapter wil be in Zack's POV and you'll get a look into his life and his dirty little secrets.  All Time Low will be coming into the picture now.

I had such a busy week and I don't blame you if you hate me for not posting as much a I should have.  School is a bitch and so is my enviormental science teacher.

At least I have the whole week off, sohopefully I can get a few chapters done.  Not promising anything cause I have homework :S

Anyway,

comment/buzz/love

<3 Maria

Chapter 62
It hurts remembering, don’t help. You can't be too caring anymore (I’m trying hard not to be ashamed)

The early morning fastly turned into a normal morning. I was awaken by a loud knocking on a bedroom door and Dasha’s arguing with somebody. And that “somebody” was obviously Andy. I groaned and passed to the door dressing on the way there. I had to open and see Andy who immediately watched me over from toes to top. He glanced into the room weighing up a situation inside.
“Uhuh”, he said and gave me a look that could freeze a fire.
I shrugged my shoulders and came into a lounge closing the door beside me. I noticed Dasha was with William sitting on a couch. Apparently they hadn’t anything intimate just spending last hours of the party here talking.
“You need to go catch your train. I’ll take you there”, Andy said with no expression.
“Why not Pete and Joe?” Dasha asked without thinking and snickered nervously.
“And why not Bill and…who’s sleeping there?.. Barakat? And to where did you put your Iero? Where’s he?” Andy asked us.
“Okay, you’ll take us to our train. I don’t care”, I said guessing this ride will be no pleasure to Dasha and me.
“I have your tickets. Get ready. I’ll wait in the corridor”, he updated us with this information and walked out.
“Assss”, Dasha and me sighed out.
I eventually greeted Will who gave me a shiny smile. 
“Last nice thing for this morning”, I thought and returned into the bedroom.
I ended my dressing up, then awoke Jack and almost dressed him up too. He was sleepy much but could understand we were gonna say good byes in some minutes. Also I was glad he remembered who I am xD. He grabbed Bill and after hugging farewell they both left the room. Dasha and me got our packed cases and bags to the lounge and sat down on the couch with aim to put some make up. We looked puffed and crumpled and it was scaring us xD.
“Have no time for it. Grab your stuffs and move towards the exit”, we heard Andy’s voice.
He was standing in a doorway holding the door while Dasha and me walked out with cases in hands and bags hanging on shoulders. I glanced last time on our room making sure we didn’t forget anything and locked it. Andy was already near an elevator holding it for us too. Dasha and me speeded up our walk and got into there. I added nothing to my last night’s outfit, so hangover and cold air around gave me a shiver soon. Dasha was ready to fall asleep on her way. Andy was expressing his own disgust about our awful smell. Speaking in general, many things in us were causing his discontent. We caught taxi and, as I said before, this ride was nothing to Dasha and me.
“I’m feeling sick to ride with you two in one car”, Andy said after a little pause.
“Get out and end your suffering”, I replied gloomy.
“Why are you sick? Of us? Explain, please”, Dasha said.
“Because you lost your last honor and credit! You drank it away. Made fools from Pete and Joe”, Andy “explained”.
“It’s not my fault that Trohman’s an idiot”, I replied smiling at memories from last night.
“If I allowed myself to drink, I made a fool from Pete?” Dasha asked.
“That you two let yourselves to drink, as you call it, is not the most awful thing in your behavior”, Andy continued as if Dasha said nothing. “Ok, I’ve known about Iero, but these two!” he obviously talked about Jack and Bill.
“What Iero?!” I didn’t agree.
“What these two?” Dasha argued with that part.
“That you fought for your common lover is a redundant proof”, Andy said just floating in his self-satisfaction as he looked at our jaw-dropped faces.
Dasha and me glanced at each other.
“We fought?” I asked.
“You beat a girl, Jane, after she said she liked Iero”, Andy said.
It only made Dasha and my faces look more quizzical. I started remembering or at least trying to do it.
**********flash back**********
I saw Jane, a nice brown-haired girl, crashing on a couch next to me. She gave me a smile and I smiled back.
“How’re you?” I asked her over a noise of the room.
“Oh, fine!” she leaned closer. “Girls, you’re amazing!”
“Thanks”, I said and we clinked our glasses.
“I like Frankie so much. He adores me. We danced”, she told me.
Somehow an amount of alcohol I drank hit my head. I was deeply offended by the fact Jane likes Frank. ‘Cause he’s my friend and had attempts to adore ME. But instead of silently mulling it over, I bursted out.
“You think just a dance with you can adore him? Keep your hands off his body! He’s not for you, gal!” I said loudly and slurring.
Jane was watching at me with a crazy look. 
Now I can understand her, but then…
*******Soundtrack – “Cut me up, Jenny” by Taking Back Sunday*******
I called Dasha loudly and got up.
“She wanna be with Frank, Dasha! With our Frank!” I was talking into Russian (thanks, Lord) and pointing at Jane.
Meaning of Dasha’s words being addressed to Jane but spoke in Russian was similar to mine. Dasha and me were insulting the girl we called our friend five minutes ago. Shame on us. But Jane wasn’t gonna just to swallow our rudeness. She stood for herself very well. I don’t wanna recall all of our insults we three were awarding each other. It was offensive, vulgar, rough and nothing special. I don’t remember who was first to punch whom. I just remember Jane who grabbed my hair, Dasha doing the same with Jane’s hair and me trying to tear apart Jane’s hands from my hair and grazing her face. The fight wasn’t too long ‘cause we were grabbed away from each other by some of boys. Standing aside and calming down (it was quick xD), I saw Jane walking with Ray into a bathroom. She had a blood under her nose. 
“Nice punch”, I heard Bob’s voice near me.
I looked at him.
“What?” I asked not getting him.
“You have a good punch”, he said. “You hit her hard”.
I immediately stared at my hands. There were small marks of blood. Not mine or Dasha’s of course, so it was me who hit the girl. I snickered uncertainly, not knowing what to do – be glad I fended for myself or feel embarrassed I punch people being drunk.
“School of my dad”, I replied.
Dasha laughed standing near and making order with her hairdo. And of course we soon saw Frank in front of us with a wide smile on his lips.
“Girls, you were fighting for me!” he was apparently glad of that fact.
Dasha and me gave him gloomy glares.
“I’m just fucking in awe”, he replied to them.
***end of flash back***
“You recalled?” I asked Dasha cheerlessly.
“Kinda”, she replied with the same tone.
“Well, this night was … eventful”, I spoke.
“Kinda”, Dasha repeated.
“I hope you have a shame still and you feel… embarrassment at least!” Andy said. “Though I deeply doubt it’s so. This morning…this morning I could expect anything, but foursome!” 
“Did you fucking lose your mind, Andy?” I asked him loudly.
“I had nothing with Becket. Why am I always an object of your crazy suspicions?” Dasha asked. “Why do you think I slept with him? For what I should sleep with him? He saw me off to my room and we have been talking. Just talking. And if you didn’t notice may be, he was dressed up”.
“How do I know? He opened a door for me. He could dressed up before. He should. I know that I found naked Barakat”, Andy said and looked at me.
“So what? It’s forbidden for naked Barakat to be with me? Want more info? I was naked too. He liked that. I liked that”, I replied.
Andy grimaced.
“Andy, remember two simple things. First – Trohman an me are NOT together, so stop finding signs of my “cheating” to him. I can be with whomever I want. Second – Dasha didn’t sleep with Becket”, I said so firmly as I could.
Andy looked at us frowning his brows, fell in silence and turned away.
“Don’t even to dare to blab about your crazy fantasies to Pete. It’s just your sick mind. You saw nothing between Bill and me because we had nothing. It’s not your mission to spoil Pete and my relationships”, Dasha said to Andy.
“Bill can say himself he slept with you. To let Pete know who are you”, Andy said with clenched teeth.
“So who I am? Say it as you’ve began!” Dasha was in anger. “Who I am, mr. i-know-everything?”
“I don’t know everything”, he mumbled. “But I know that a girl who cheats and fuck around is a whore”.
Dasha looked speechless and was obviously offended. I was shocked by Andy.
“It’s you”, she spoke. “You, who are whore”.
“Cheap and bitchy”, I added. “Give us OUR tickets WE booked and get out of the car”, I said with a steel voice. “I don’t allow anybody to insult me. We’re tired to be a permanent object of your suspicions, your evil glances and unfair accusations. How far you can go with this shit? We’re normal girls. What did we do to you?”
“I don’t like injustice”, he replied calmly.
“It’s part of your straight-age bullshit?” Dasha asked mocking.
He gave us another evil glare, but we weren’t scared at all. We felt we were fending for ourselves. 
“Joe and Pete like you, I have to hang with you”, he said. “And I feel I will have to”.
“We will have to”, Dasha and me ended.
“Well, are you over with this shit? It’s the first time I drive such scandalous persons. I’ve began forgetting where I must take you to”, our driver said.
“Just look at the road and don’t listen”, Andy snapped to him.
“And you just stop fucking cursing these nice girls. They’re young and pretty. They want to live free. It’s not your business, daddy”, the driver replied.
Dasha and me bursted out in a laughter mentally thanking this man.
“Cut it and listen to adult men. Youth is a damn good thing, but in a couple with moderation. So that’s why open side windows – there’s nothing to breath inside. I see that you two didn’t know about any moderation last night”, the driver said to Dasha and me.
We nodded and felt ourselves that he didn’t lie about the air inside. We opened the windows and moved our faces towards streams of fresh air. I held my vanity-case in my hands the whole way, but I surely didn’t wanna put on any make up under Andy’s glances. I was observing myself and came to the next – I need to change clothes somehow in airport WC and brush my hair as soon as possible. The rest of the ride we all were keeping the silence. And nothing interrupted it. I was enormously glad to get out of the car when we finally reached Indianapolis railway station. Andy gave us our tickets, we grabbed our stuffs and said byes to him (a proof we’re nice girls as the driver said xD). He nodded his head farewell and went for taxi. Dasha and me looked at the tickets to find out time of departure – 8.20 a.m. We glanced at our watches – it was only 6.40 a.m.! What we’ll do there for an hour and more?! We were cursing Andy by the last words xD.

DOUBLE POST. GO BACK 3 SPACES.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

William -

Cass and I were in my bunk, you know, doing the usual couple thing...
HAVING A RUBIX CUBE WAR. I was winning, Cass just didn't seme to be a ble to get the hang of it. and Eventually gave up whilst I finished mine off, picking up her incomplete one to finish too.
Then my phone stared to ring. So i placed the unfinished cube down like it was my only child, and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I answered
"Hey Will, it's Pete."
"Oh, hey Pete, what's up?" I replyed with Cassadee watching me.
"Fall Out Boy have decided we wanna crash your tour, I had too much fun at your show to miss out." he said.
"AWESOME. that's really cool. It'll be lotss of fun, with Paramore crashing already"
"Yeahhh, that's what we thought, but yeah, we should be there in a few hours, and we are bringing along another baben artist for butcher to relate too, I dont want an angsty artist on tour, last time that happened Hey Mondays van was painted Rocket Stripes, was it not?"
I laughed at the memory, and Cass frowned, remember the epic tour prank we got them with
"Yeah, I suppose not, might happen anyway, even if he isn't angsty" i said, winking at Cass, who groaned at the thought of having to clean off their van again.
"Well yeah" I heard him laughign on the otherside of the phone. "We will see you soon Will, and Cass" he added, It was seriously like all the memeber of FOB had some sort of telepathic powers.
"See you soon" I said, and we hung up.



Cassadee -

I was jumping with excitement about getting to play with Fall Out Boy, how cool.

I jumped off Wills bunk, and grabbed his hand, pullign him down with me, and we ran into the living area of the TAI bus, and will exclaimed
"FALL OUT BOY ARE JOINING THE TOUR" everyone cheered, and that seemed to be all the announcing needed, because everyone, I mean EVERYONE. was sitting in theliving area, even Elliot and Hayley.

I was surprised to see we all fit.

"I thinkkkk, that maybe we need a trip to Walmart" I said
"So that we can get some supplies for a 'Welcome To Tour' kindof present, if you get my jist" and everyone smiled evily. We all loved tour pranks. Will wrapped his arms around me.
"I think that that, is one of the best idea's we have had allll tour"

Butcher -

Will had told me that FOB were bringing along a chick named Sara, who was supposedly really into art, and had her own little studio in Chicago, that excited me. i haven't had anyone to do art wiht for AGES, and i mean, yeah, it's nice to do art on your own, and have your own thoughts, but nothing beats having paint wars, and discussing techniques, sharing ideas. I was excited.

And this upcoming trip to walmart meant that i could get some more painting supplys too. and I reckon I'm going to paint the new chick completely blue for the tour pranks. how exciting.

i hope FOB knew what was coming.

Pete -

We were lready on our was to LA from CHicago on our bus. It wouldn't take us that long to get there, a few hours at most, but I knew that this was long enough to let the bands organise some pranks for us.

"You realise we are going to get pranked so hard" Joe announced what everyone, but Sara, was thinking.
"You guys do welcome pranks?" Sara smiled, she seemed so innocent, so unprepared for it.

"YEAHHH" Patrick said, with his arms around her
"But I wouldn't be too excited about it, knowing these bands, they'll pick on the new kid. AKA. you. Sorry babe" he said kissing the top of my head.




Sara -

I honestly couldn't care less if i was pranked hard or not. I had four brothers, i gre up with it. I was so ready.
"Oh, i don't care, I have four brothers, i know what it's like" I said
"Just keep your eyes peeled for a short heavily tattooed kid" patrick warned. Knowing that the butcher would be after me.

This was goin got be a fun tour...

Today has been a babe. I woke up at like 10, because i had to go into school at like 11 for orientations. But, I got a text from my best friend saying that I didn't have classes. So i didn't have to come to school.
So i just messed around with some inks, did a few washes, one being an epic fail. and ill ink the with some Lawrence Yang inspired stuff a bit later :)
Now I have heaps of time to write for you :) SO. MAYBE, Ill double post. Maybe.
Claire

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pete -

Wow, the show that I attended had been so eventful. Not only was it fantastically played, poor Hayley got groped by some dick in the mosh. I'd have to make sure that didn't happen again.

I decided that I'd visit Patrick at his house, and maybe strike up some sort of deal with him. I mean, he's been in a great mood alot latley, he's been writing lots of music, and I had lots of lyrics to go with them, so mayeb this was the beginning of a new record.
I got into my car, and pulled out of my Chicago home, making my way to patricks house.

Patrick -

Sara was round, she has been the main source of my happiness recently, that and I've been writing heaps of music, because she's been inspiring me with all the art she does in my house. Sara and I were sitting on the couch, watching 'courage the cowardly dog.' Mine and her favorite cartoon. A realllllyyy boring ad break came on, so i turned ot her. and put my hand on her cheek, cupping her face.  And i tenderly kissed her.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddeeeee, i didn't know you two were together" Sara and I heard from behind us, and we both turned around to see Pete staning behind us. She flushed a light shade of pink, and i just laughed. Times like these I wish Pete knocked.
"I actually came round Patrick to see if you wanted to go on tour with Hey Monday, TAI and Paramore?" I looked at him, wondering what was going on, but this seemed like too much of an opportunity to miss, we hadn't been on tour in FOREVER.

"That would be awesome, but you have to check in Andy and Joe want to come too, and I'd like to bring Sara, If she wants to come."
She looked at me with light in her eyes, and smiled.
"I'd love to Patrick, but what about my art. Maybe I should stay" she smiled.
"You can bring your art with you yah big beb, there's plenty of room on the tour bus, and the Butcher of TAI is an art graduate, and he does alot of stuff on tour too."

Sara -

I can't believe Patrick was asking me on tour with him. We had met a few months ago at a coffee shop, where i had dropped my coffee on him as I bent down to pick up a dropped paintbrush. Sure, I was fallign for him fast, but was I ready to go on tour with FAll Out Boy, would the rest of the band like me? I had only met Pete.

I think patrick couls sense my doubt, because he bent down and whispered in my ear
"They'll love you" he said, sometimes it worried me how he could read my mind so much. It was almost scary.
"WHISPERING IS RUDE YOU KNOW" exclaimed Pete, he as such a caffine hyped insomniac sometimes. Hyper one mintue and crashign the next. I wonder how his heart didn't go into overdrive.

"Can we get Coffee?" Pete asked.
"I can feel my heart slowing down, meaning it's time for a caffine refilllll!"
We all laughed, but got in the car.




Pete -

I drove us all to get Coffee, and made a stop at Joes and Andy's on the way back to see if they wanted in on the tour, and they were all for it.

After dropping Sara and Patrick back at Patrick house, I decided to make a few phone calls, to get us on the tour, which wasn't ahrd because I was prettty much the boss of the world.

Once on the tour, I had to call TAI to let them know, they could spread the word from there on.