Aversion's Top 10 News Stories of 2007

What's the biggest news story of 2007? The investigation that revealed the White House was directly responsible for leaking Valerie Plame's name as a CIA operative? The Mitchell Report that shined light on Major League Baseball's culture of steroid use? North Korea and Iran's quest for nukes? Britney Spears' idiotic life choices?

What do you think this is, Newsweek?. We're nowhere near qualified to make those sort of distinctions. We do know a thing or two about the rock and roll, though. So, here's a statistical look back on 2007's news stories, with a look at the most popular stories of the year and the dead horses we tended to flog most often in our headlines.

What You Liked (or at least clicked on a lot)

10 . New Smashing Pumpkins Members Rumored -- Finally putting to rest the speculation of a Pumpkins reunion, fans were simultaneously crushed by the news that D'Arcy and James weren't involved and elated by the fact that the Pumpkins were back. Then Zeitgeist came out and pretty much rained on whatever elation we had in us.

9. Pete Doherty Gets Penguin Stoned -- Our personal favorite news item of 2007. With the exception of that "Dewey Defeats Truman" one, it's possibly the best headline in the course of human history.

8. White Stripes Cancel All 2007 Tour Dates -- In retrospect, it's probably unlikely anyone would thing Meg White took it doggy-style in front of a camera (see below). After all, she couldn't even pull it together to play drums on stage. With her clothes on, no less.

7. Jimmy Eat World Finally Finishes Album -- Hey, when you spend more than a year holed up in your own studio, it's news when you finally put that album to bed.

6. Q&A - Armor for Sleep -- With New Jersey's finest pop-punk act in the studio working on the follow-up to 2004's What to Do When You Are Dead, everyone wanted to know how things were shaping up. Front man Ben Jourgensen filled us in with a studio update.

5. Hawthorne Heights Guitarist Dies -- A lot of people died in 2007 (like the dude who invented Gatorade and the guy who first dew Scooby Doo), but Casey Calvin's sudden passing caught the mall-punk world unawares. So how short are the odds for Victory Records to issue a three-disc, limited-edition boxed set to commemorate-exploit Calvin's death in 2008?

4. Rage Against the Machine Reunites -- After seven years on ice, Rage Against the Machine returned for a small number of shows starting with an appearance at Coachella. It was great news to all kinds of people -- fans of the band's innovative music, ones who connect with the leftist ideals for which the band always stood and millions upon millions of frat boys and jocks impressed by loud guitars and singer Zach De La Rocha's propensity for f-bombs.

3. Pete Doherty's Rehab Situation Cleared Up -- Admittedly, that headline's a little misleading: You could probably write a doctoral thesis on the Babyshambles front man's ability to flaunt drug laws and emerge with little more than a slap on the wrist and still not get to the bottom of the issue. Clarity about his latest sentencing, though? Everyone wants to know.

2. Bright Eyes Set for Spring Tour -- Conor Oberst is more than an indie-rock sensation. He's a phenomenon, apparently, as news of an eight-date tour became big-time news.

1. Meg White Sex Video is a Hoax -- We're pretty sure the enormous popularity of this news item had less to do with straightening out the misconception that the White Stripes drummer filmed a low-budget porno in what appears to be a dorm room as it was a horny search for said video, but, hey. Whatever floats your boat folks.