penceyprep Blog and Journals

As I'm writing this, it's Wednesday.  Which means it's new comic book day.  And having just torn through the new issues of Wonder Woman and Detective Comics, it seems to be an ideal time to talk about some other new comics.

This past weekend at the San Diego Comic Con, Gerard Way, frontman of My Chemical Romance and author of the Eisner Award Winning series The Umbrella Academy, announced the details for another project he's working on for Dark Horse comics. Get stoked...

Extra long to make up for the wait >.<
Oooh xincinerate here's your answer about Jess and Gee...

“Right. Well, Trig’s boring as hell, so let’s go for a walk.” I said. Mikey agreed, and ditched my homework. I climbed out of the window, and he followed me.

Gimme All Your Poison, And Gimme All Your Pills
“What the hell is with the window thing?” I asked as we walked down the street.
“I dunno, thought it was more interesting.”
“Very much so.” I smiled.
Gerard and Frank were sitting on the porch of the Way house, Frank with a guitar case next to him, and they waved and got up as we walked past.
“Hey, guys.” Frank said. “You wanna come hang out backstage before the show?”
“Sure, love to.” Mikey said. I nodded.
“Awesome. My ride’s gonna be here in a half hour, come wait with us.”
“Oh, we wanted to go for a walk. Is that okay?” Mikey asked.
“Yeah, sure, we’ll pick you up if we see you.” Frank shrugged, smiling.
“Cool.” I said. We waved goodbye and walked off down the street.
“You looking forward to the show tonight?” Mikey asked.
“Definitely!” I grinned. “I’ve been listening to Heartbreak in Stereo, Zeitgeist and Nevermind on repeat since I got here. You’ve changed me, Mikey.” I laughed. He halfsmiled.
“I know. That’s half the problem.” He said, mainly to himself.I looked at him, concerned.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s nothing. Just Pete, he’s being a dick.” Mikey said, trying to smooth it over. I frowned.
“If Pete’s being a dick, I’ll go talk to him.”
Mikey laughed bitterly. “Yeah. No, Leah, that’d ake it a lot worse. This way he still thinks I’m holding you hostage, and you don’t want to stay. He feels like the hero this way. If he realizes you like me too- uh, I think you do…” he trailed off, uncertain.
“Of course I like you, Mikey!” I said, stunned he didn’t know that.
“Oh- good! Okay. Well, if he realizes you like me too, he’ll hate you as well. This way it’s better. I don’t want you to hurt over him.” Mikey said.
I sighed. God, he was being so weird. I wished he’d just talk to me about this whole stupid thing with Pete. I could see that he desparately needed to.
We walked in silence for a while, but Mikey’s face looked as though he was in pain over saying nothing. I stopped walking, and turned to him.
“Mikey.” I said seriously.
“Yeah?” he asked, watching me.
“I know you don’t want me to get hurt. But I don’t want you to be hurting either. Please, Mikey. You need to talk. Can we talk?” I said to him. He sighed, and averted his eyes from mine, looking off to the side at the ground. I stepped closer and took his hand. “Mikey?”
“Let’s go someplace quiet.” He said, squeezing my hand and looking towards the end of the street, where there was a lame little childrens’ park that never had any people around. We walked there, and sat under a tree. He plucked at the grass, not looking at me. I thought I saw tears in his eyes.
“Okay.” He sighed at last. “Here goes.”
I said nothing, just waited.
“Pete… Pete has been blackmailing me.” He said quietly. “He wants me to break up with you. He thinks that you’ll be safer without me and Gee and the boys around. He thinks you’re going to get caught up in all the shit that we do.”
“Blackmailing?!” I exclaimed. I knew Mikey was thinking the same thing I was- I had no problem taking care of myself. Frankie and Gee did drugs around me, and all of them drank copiously. I had some when I felt like it, but I wasn’t a child. I knew when to stop. And – usually at least – the boys knew when to stop too. But Pete distrusted me enough to blackmail Mikey over it? Shit.
“I know. I told you you wouldn’t want to hear it. He’s an idiot, and I’m sorr…” he trailed off.
“Sorry for what?” I questioned.
Mikey sighed heavily. “I’m sorry you have to have anything to do with either of us. I’m sorry you even know me. You should be back in New Zealand, being happy, with Lisa.” He said in a rush.
My jaw genuinely fell open. I gaped at him, shocked. And more than a little pissed off. “If it’s easier for me to just go, then maybe I should!” I said angrily, shifting away from him.
Mikey reached out to me like it was instinctive, the look on his face that now familliar look of agony I’d come to associate with Pete. The one where it looked as though his heart breaking right before my eyes. I wanted to give him a hug, tell him everything was okay. Except it wasn’t, and he’d made it that way. What the hell happened to the romantic Mikey who’d cimbed in my window half an hour ago?
“Leah, I didn’t mean that. I want to be with you. I’m only saying that because… oh, fuck it, you don’t understand!” he cut himself off,drawing his knees to his chest, curling his arms around them and resting his chin on his hands, staring off across the park at a couple of little kids who were playing jump rope.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Mikey! If you don’t dam well tell me, I’m never going to!” I said, exasperated, and stood up. I stormed over to the swingset, and sat down, feeling like a total idiot for being sixteen years old and playing in a childrens’ playground.
Fucking asshole, I thought to myself. What the hell was he on?
I sat there for under two minutes before he got up and came over, looking seriously sheepish. He sat down on the ground next to my swing, and I kept swinging, pretending like he wasn’t there.
“Leah?” he asked, looking up at me throgh his glasses like a little boy. “Please listen to me.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to talk all afternoon, Mikey.” I said without looking at him.
“No, really. I want to explain. Please, please listen.” He insisted, reaching out to touch my shin as I flew by. I scuffed my Chucks on the gound and stopped myself, but I stayed in the swing. I finally looked at him, and his expression nearly broke my heart too.
“Okay, Mikey.” I said softly. “I’ll listen.”
“Thank you. Look, the thing is, I said that because I know you’re going to get hurt somehow because of me. I can feel it. Just as much as Pete can. I’m a stupid kid, Leah. I’m dumb. I’ll fuck you up somehow, and then I’ll regret it forever. But at the same time, I like being here with you. Every minute I’m with you, it’s like I can finally be happy again. It’s been three years since I’ve felt like that, Leah. And I couldn’t cope with it if you ever left. Can you forgive me, baby?” he said, his voice so low I had to struggle to hear him.
I sighed, smiling. I couldn’t be mad at him. “I can forgive you.” I said and took his hands. He smiled, looking thrilled, and pulled me down onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, sighing with happiness. I kissed his cheek.
“Leah, I want to tell you something but it sounds like I’m full of shit.” He said in my ear. I turned around to look at him.
“Are you full of shit, Mikey Way?” I asked.
“No. I mean this more than anything I’ve ever said.” He said seriously.
“Then tell me.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his cheek.
Okay.” He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. I smiled. He’d been able to make my heart melt by doing that since I’d first seen him at the bus stop, and he knew it. “This is going to sound stupid, but I think… uh.” He stopped, and ducked his head, looking at me with red cheeks.
“Yeah, Mikey?” I asked, quietly.
“I think I might be falling in love with you, Leah.” He whispered in my ear, so close I could feel his lips brush against me with every word.
I was speechless for quite a while, and with every second I knew Mikey was freaking out that he’d said something dumb. But I was really, really happy- I just didn’t know what to say. “Oh my god, Mikey…” I whispered back at last. “I… thank you so much.” I finished lamely. I didn’t have any idea what else to say. I liked Mikey a lot, definitely- heaps, more than any other boy I’d known –but I didn’t know if I loved him, and I didn’t want to lie about that.
Mikey laughed, and he breath on my neck was bittersweet. “See? Told you it sounded dumb.” He said.
I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see them. Trust Mikey to take the shit out of himself over saying something heartfelt. “No, it didn’t. Baby, I just on’t know what to say. I… I don’t know. Thank you.” I said, trailing off again. This was painful. Mikey had just told me something so unbelievable, and I couldn’t even say it back.
We sat in silence for a long time. It was getting dark, and I knew we’d have to go back to Frankie and Gee soon so we could catch a ride to the show. But I really didn’t want to leave, even though it was getting cold.
Mikey, traced my jaw with his feather light fingertips and moved so he could look in my eyes again. I looked into his, and felt giddy. The boy was so beautiful. Nobody else in the world could compare.
“Would this help?” Mikey asked, and kissed me. I gave in straight away, and he deepened the kiss. I was only too happy to let him. Usually when we kissed it was in company, or we were both a little drunk, or it was a greeting or farewell kiss and it was rushed. Moments like these were hard to find when we were spending so much time with Gee, Frankie and Ray. So he lay back slowly, and I went down after him, and we found ourselves making out in a kiddie park. Dumb in most parts of the world- especially so in Jersey. But we didn’t care.
My legs were wrapped around his, and my arms twined around his neck, one of my hands holding Mikey’s tight, our fingers dancing in time to our tongues. His other hand trailed down my back, and under my shirt. I shuddered with pleasure against him as he wandered downward again, and squeezed my ass. A stray little finger wandered lower still, and I giggled like a preppy girl. I could never help but do that whenever he came near me. He laughed and pulled away, sitting up.
“I guess we better go back now.” He said, helping me to stand.
I laughed. “Damn.”
“Seriously. We were just getting started…”
We walked as slowly as we could, but we got to the Ways’ house far too soon anyway. Wandering down the path and back over to the porch, I sat on Mikey’s lap, he sat on the ground. He played with the hem of the top I was wearing, slipping his fingers under a little and making me blush as he traced patterns on my stomach.
“Mikey, stop that or you’ll embarrass yourself.” Gerard said, laughing at my blush.
“Yeah, like you.” Mikey shot back, laughing.
Gerard didn’t have an answer to that, so he just laughed too. Frank looked up and saw a car had just pulled up. “Hey, here’s Hambone.” He said, smiling and getting up. We followed him to the car, where the guy Frank had called Hambone was waiting.
“Hey, I’m John- call me Hambone.” He smiled. Me, Mikey and Gerard shook his hand, and got into the car after Frank, who was already deep in conversation about the show’s song line up.
“Hey, can we go pick up Bob and Ray?” Frank asked as we pulled away.
“Yeah, sure. I think Ray’s over at Bob’s place anyway, so we may as well.” Gerard said. We drove to Bob’s house, where we found him, Jess and Ray ouside on the lawn playing kickball.
We stopped and Frank wound down the window. “We’re muggers, get in the car so we can abduct you!” he yelled, pulling his black shirt up over his face and making a gun shape with his hand.
Bob took one look and cracked up laughing, Jess got a fright and smacked herself in the face with the kickball, which she’d been showing off with and kicking up on her knees, and so Ray nearly fell on the ground in hysterics.
We laughed, and Bob yelled into the house, “We’re being abducted by Pencey Prep, I’ll probably never see you again Mom!”
A muffled reply that sounded like “Have fun, honey,” came back, and the three came over to the car, Frank miming shooting Ray in the head.
As they piled into the car, we realised there was nowhere near enough room. I sat on Mikey’s lap, Frank sat on Gerard’s in the front, Bob leapt for the middle seat in the back, next to me and Mikey, with a scream of “I will not have my damn sister sitting on my lap, or anybody else!” and so an extremely red faced Jess ended up on an equally embarassed looking Ray’s lap. Hambone laughed, but I noticed he look a bit uncomfortable that Frank was on Gerard’s lap.
“You guys are all insane.” He said.
“I know! Now let’s have some fucking music!” Frank shouted, pressing play on the tape player and cranking the volume up to full. Attention Reader, by Pencey Prep, came on.
“Hell yeah!” Hambone yelled, and Frank started singing along at the top of his lungs. Of course, it sounded perfect, because Frank was the actual singer. Jess mimed the keyboard, Mikey played air bass for Hambone, who was driving, and Ray and Gerard rocked out on imaginary guitars. Bob shrugged and broke into an over the top drumline, and I sang backup to Frank, plucking the strings on Mikey’s invisible bass. We made almost more noise than the tape itself.
“It doesn't sound as true when you still wear her scent!
I never thought you would've thrown something back.
Ripping apart my heart-
I see you more at night!
Won't look back,
Wretched night…” Frank screamed, exactly as good as he was on the tape, and the keyboard solo came in, which Jess ‘played’ awesomely even though she’d never heard the song before. We all clapped and cheered for her. Then it came to the speaking part and Frankie passed his ‘microphone’, which was a lighter, to me.
“I pray for a piece of mind
I beg for a brand new life
I plead for a second chance
And the ability, to shut my eyes at night.” I said, with Frank saying the words quietly behind me. The car erupted into applause again, and we went back to going crazy.
By the time we got to the small club Pencey Prep were playing, we were all on a huge high. Me and Jess, who had stolen the lyrics sheet out of the cassette and was getting better with the words now, sang Trying To Escape The Inevitable together as we went in the back door, feeling really important because we were getting to go backstage, even if backstage at this gig was a dingy little room full of beer and guys, with one of the band’s girlfriends ding everyone in the band’s make up.
Frankie was warming up and playing his guitar, the rest of the band were busy too, and Mikey and Gerard were talking with Ray about something, so me and Jess convinced Bob to buy us drinks at the bar and we went back to the little room. The girl doing the make up, whose name was Karen, offered to do ours because she was finished and bored. We agreed, excited, and sat down on the floor to get our faces done in super pale foundation, black eyeliner and red eyeshadow and lipstick.
Ten minutes later, someone working on the bar came in and said “Two minutes, guys, and by the way this place is packed.” Mikey, Gerard, Bob, Ray, Jess and I said good bye to Frank and Pencey Prep, wished them good luck and went out to the main room.
Sure enough, it was totally packed and we had to try really hard to push in at the front. Everyone was screaming and chanting for the band to come on, it was an amazing feeling. I ditched my drink, deciding I didn’t feel like ruining the experience by getting drunk and doing something dumb.
Suddenly all the lights shut off at once, plunging the whole club into darkness. The crowd went completely mad. I only just saw through the blackness as Frank crept onstage. He looked a lot different onstage, somehow like a celebrity. But he was still the same Frankie I knew and loved- as soon as he saw us at the very front he grinned like a little kid, giving us a run of high fives. The rest of the band followed, and took their places.
Still in darkness, Frank played the riff that was the beginning of Yesterday- and the whole room exploded in cheering. As the rest of the band kicked in, the stage lights flashed on as one and Frank started to sing.
“I think of running away
I can't keep running away
Can't keep feeling the same
I can't keep taking the blame
I wanna run with you,” Frank ditched the guitar for a second to point at Gerard with a smile, “I don't care what we do,
Gotta get out of this place,
Because it feels like yesterday…”
His voice blew my mind. I’d heard him on the record, sure, and in the car on the way here, but playing live Frank was the most incredible musician I’d ever seen. I laughed as I realised Split Enz had just been totally blown out of the water by an unerground Jersey band of nutcase teenagers.
We were pretty much in a mosh now, as much as we could be with a song like Yesterday, and Mikey, who was behind me, had his arms were around me tight, singing the words in my ear. I joined in, “There we go, can't be wrong
’Cause it feels like yesterday, I can't be wrong
I'm re-living yesterday, I can't be wrong
Cause it feels like yesterday
I can't be wrong
I'm re-living yesterday.”
The song ended, and 19 began. Mikey and I got lost in the music together, and I only surfaced into reality for a few moments at a time for the rest of the night.
As Trying To Escape The Inevitable ended, I saw Gerard grab Frankie’s hand, and they didn’t let go apart from when Frank had to play for the rest of the night- their eyes were locked on each other the whole show, and it made Frankie’s performance even more fantastic.
I saw a glimpse of Bob, and heard Mikey talking to him about something they both sounded psyched about, but not what he said.
I saw Ray’s arms around Jess’s waist during Eigth Grade, and saw them kiss at the start of Don Quixote, and both Ray’s expression of blissful happiness and Jess’s thrilled smile after that.
When I heard the first notes of Attention Reader, Mikey spun me around to face him and kissed me passionately, and we danced an erractic waltz in the middle of the mosh pit to the keyboard.
And then the show was over, and Frank thanked the audience for being ‘absolutely a-fucking-mazing’, and Pencey left the stage.
We ran backstage, and Gerard and Frank pretty much jumped into each other’s arms. Jess and Ray were looking attached at the hip, and Bob seemed to be taking it pretty well considering he seemed like the protective big brother type. He, Ray, Mikey and Gerard definitely seemed to have a secret, and they all seemed really excited.
With Frank and Gerard tangled up together, me and Mikey about as attached in the middle and Ray and Jess on our other side in their own little world, it was hot and cramped in the back seat of Hambone’s car. Bob and Hambone talked about heaps of music related things, but I wasn’t really paying attention. Mikey’s arms were around me, and that was all I needed right now to be happy.

10. Summer Love by Justin Timberlake

Yeah I know hehe but it's a really good song and and..it's very catchy =P

9. First Time by Lifehouse

A very inspiring romantic song that got me hooked..for almost a month..

8. Mr. Brightside by The Killers

I was mad with them because saying all that stuff to Panic! and FOB...but one day I saw this video again and I couldn't help it..and I became addicted to that song..and I aslo start to jump when I hear the song in The Holiday movie tee-hee

7. Hero/ Heroine by Boys Like Girls

*sighs* this song is plain awesome and I freakin' love Martin's voice for sure..and he's cute too =D

6. Attention Reader by Pencey Prep

I know is an old song but..it was the first time I hear Frankie singing hehehe..and that song relaxes me even thou is a little screamo..but the piano part makes it classical...

5. ATTACK by 30 Seconds To Mars

"Your promises they look like lies, your honesty like a back that hides a knife" a good start for A Beautiful Lie cd..it has an amazing beat and rythim...how I wish to sing screamo...but girls can't.. ahhh well I should conform just to sing it without braking any glass..

4. I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance

Hey it is in purple =D...well umm my God the first time I heard this song I cried so much...and unfortunately this is one of my fave songs that made me get sad at the same time...it's like my song at this time..is fault of him..he has different tastes in music and the only song that he had in his phone different to hip-hop and all that crap, was this song...now everytime I hear it it makes me think of him.. *sigh* but I can't resist to not hear it hehe...

3. Everything We Had by The Academy Is...

Beautiful song..that's all I have to say here =D.

2. Hollaback Boy by Cobra Starship

My fucking God this song is hilarious!!!!!..I love the supercalifragilisexpirali.....wait what?..haha sorry I don't remember what's next...anyway it was stucked more than the original of Gwen Stefani...and Hollaback Girl was in my head for several months...it was annoying sometimes =P

And number 1 is: It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Fucking Deathwish

Hell fucking yeah!!!!...this song was the most sang from me in all my history...I STILL hum it or whistle it or somehow I always find the way....it's amazing how this song made me crazy..is like a love story but you know in MCR way...AMAZINGLY AWESOME FUCKING song!!!!.yeah..I didn't need my K3 because I already had this song in my head..and everytime I hear it a big smile gets on my face and my dad thinks that I'm going to get obsessed with that song...sorry dad..I already did =D..bahaha..

Well yeah I made this list 'cause I really wanted to do one so there you have =D...

My cell phone started ringing little after 12. I didn't wake up even that it was next to my ear and even that I fell asleep on the only couch that was too short even for me. Taylor needed to hit me so I'll wake up.

"Thanks Tinker Bell" I said and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Frankie, where are you?"

"Good morning, baby! I'm in Taylor's house"

"And when are you coming back?"

"I'll take a train in 30 minute, okay?"

"No! We'll be late to the party! You're so annoying!"

"C'mon Chris, it's not my fault! I was tired!"

Taylor stared at me and smiled.

"I know, I know…well, just come already, okay?"

"Fine"

"Bye Frank" she said and hanged up.

I sat on the couch and rubbed my eyes.

"What happened? She got crazy because you slept here?"

"No, she just wants me to come back" I answered.

"Oh" she said and sat next to me. "Need a lift to the train station?"

"Yeah, it could be nice" I said and smiled.

"So get up, you ugly boy" she said and got up herself.

"Shut up" I told her and got up.

"Come already" she said and ran out of the house.

I was sorry that the way to the train station was so short, I really enjoyed talking to Taylor and I knew I won't see her for a while. She stayed with me while I bought a ticket and then drove back to her house. The way back seemed so long! The train was pull and I had to sit next to a guy that didn't stop talking to me. I hate when people do it, they’re always talking about boring things. The train got to Belleville at 1:10 and I went home to take a shower and change (I still wore the clothes that I wore in the performance, and they smelled!). Allie left my guitar in the house night before so I changed the ripped string before I went to Shaun's house. When I got there I saw that Chris sat outside, next to the door.

"Why aren't you with the guys?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I missed you too" she said and hugged me.

"You missed me? When did you have time for it?"

"Shut up" she said and kissed me.

I heard some noises behind me and then a big long "Awwww". I turned around and saw that Jay stood behind the fence watched us.

"I'll drown you!" I said and climbed on the fence, trying not to fall because I didn't feel like going to the hospital again.

 The guys from the band, Joanne, Michael and Jimmy were already there and they were staring at me like I'm a basket case.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry" Jay said while laughing when I caught him.

"Next time I will kill you!" I said and sat next to the pool.

Chris sat next to me, laughing. Tim and Shaun started laughing too. In few seconds everybody except for me was laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You're such an idiot" Tim said and sprayed water all over me.

"You're an idiot" I said and jumped into the water.

"Thanks Frank, now I'm wet too" Chris told me.

"Sorry" I said, got out of the water and sat back next to her.

"I'm wetter now" she said and kissed me.

"And even more now" I said and kissd her.

"Will you stop, please? It's gross" Jimmy said, smiling. "There are things that I don't wanna see my sister and her boyfriend doing"

"This is not gross, that's cute" Jay said and smiled "Mike, can you please hug me? I feel so lonely when these two are acting like that" Jay said. Michael came closer to him and kissed him. Shaun and Joanne looked at each other and started laughing.

"What's this about?" Neil asked them.

"Nothing" Joanne answered and laughed even louder.

We all sat there together until the sunset. It was so much fun and everybody were so happy and I just didn't want this day to end. The only thought in my mind when I went to sleep that night was that I really don't want anything to change.

 

 Well, things can't stay the same, right? So many things changed since that evening and truly, I wouldn't like them to be like they were again.

Everything about the band can't be any better. In the passes year we performed over 20 times and it was a lot of fun. The fact that it was our last year in school and that we needed to work super hard didn't influence Neil, his great ideas turned into seven great new songs that we all love. Well, the fact that we needed to work super hard for school did influence Chris and me. I was busy in school and the band all the time and she was busy in learning and…I don't know. Anyway, we broke up maybe three days before my birthday. It wasn't a bad break up because we didn't fight or something like that, we just saw that we were too busy for being with each other. At least that's why I wanted to break up with her, I'm not sure if she wanted to break up from the same reason. School didn't bothered Shaun and Joanne too much (unfair, they're too good at school!) and they didn't even come close to breaking up. Jimmy and Tommy's lives were much easier than ours since it wasn't their last year at school so Jimmy started dating with some girl (he got angry at her because she called him in the middle of the night so he told her that she's a crazy bitch and she doesn't like him too much now) and Tommy found himself a boyfriend. Turns out that he has a boyfriend long time before his 16 birthday, when he told us that he has a boyfriend. His boyfriend was that Steve and was the reason that Tommy decided not to come for our end of summer party.

Umm…What's more? Oh, Neil and Tim are still living in the same apartment only now Neil is not the only one that working. Well, I think that the only three things that haven't change are that Uncle Ben still doesn't want Jay to come back home, John is still running to my house every time that he gets sick of seeing Will and Allie making out and I'm still running to his house every time I get sick of seeing Jay and Michael making out. And believe me- I'd like it to change too.

The next chapter gonna be the last one....hope I'll finish it before the summer vacation will end

 

That day passed like so fast! I woke up at seven, took a shower and went straight to John's house. He, Will and Allie were already awake and they all had good mood, just like me. We ate breakfast together and then went to my house for the practice. Everybody was in good mood. We even arrived to the train station in the time, but this only because the train was late. Lucky us. Playing in front of the other guys who owned that place wasn't as stress out as playing in front of Brian was, it was a lot of fun. After lunch (it turned out that Brian don't really know how to cook, good that he has friends for it) we went to do the sound check. We all kind of freaked out when we stood on the stage, the area of the crowd was huge!  Tim and John tried to act like they aren't excited at all. Well, that explained why they were playing in a band and not acting in a theater. After that summer, with all the unstoppable trying to kill me, Tim convinced that he shouldn't kill me so he did not pushed me from the stage and I got backstage still alive. I wanted to die when I got to there- it all smelled like urine. Well, the corridor smelled like it, our room was okay. Chris, Jay and Michael were waiting for us in the room. They all were pretty happy, especially Jay that told us that he already saw the guys from Green Day and sent Michael to get signatures for him. When they left I played on my guitar just to make sure I'm really ready. I got tired of it fast so I put my guitar back in the case and went to ask signatures. Allie told us not to do it because then we'll look very small next to them but I didn't care. We really were (and we're still) much smaller than them and we'll never be good as them. When I almost knocked on the door one of Brian's friends passes next to me and said "I wouldn't try to get signatures from these guy…bunch of crazy freaks"

I didn't really think that they are like that but I didn't want to check it out. I came back to the room and crashed straight on the couch, without the signatures. Sitting in the room and hearing the crowd screaming (I don't know why, it's not like the performance started) made me crazy. I started to go all around the room. I only stopped when Allie came into the room and told us that we have a minute to get ready. I went to change (my clothes were so dirty!). When I came out of it Allie was the only one in the room and she was yelling at me to take my guitar and go to the stage. I took my guitar out of the case just a second before I meant got to the stage. I looked at it because I thought it'll calm me down. It didn't. One of the strings was ripped.

"That's not time for praying, go on the stage already!" Allie shouted behind me.

"I can't!" I shouted back and showed her my guitar.

"Shit! Couldn't you find a better time for doing troubles?!"

"Don't blam-"

"Hey, what's happening there?"

Two guys appeared behind Allie, one of them tall and thin with oxygenated hair and the other one bit taller than me with radioactive green hair. It took me maybe a second to recognize them- Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool, bassist and drummer of Green Day.

Allie didn't recognize them. "He just ripped his string and he should go on the stage NOW" she answered.

"I have another string in my bag…" I mumbled.

"You don't have time to change a string now!" Allie screamed at me.

"Wait, I'll be right back with the solution" Tré told me and jumped to their room.

"We have no time for him" Allie told me. "Go and bring the string"

I would do it but I was kind of paralyzed.

Tré came back in a second holding a light blue Fender guitar. It took me less than a second to recognize it. Blue, Billie Joe Armstrong's beautiful guitar.

"Why are you staring? Go and play before Billie will notice that it's missing" Mike said, smiling.

"Before I notice that what is missing?" Billie Joe asked behind them.

"He ripped his string and he should be on the stage now so we suggested him to play on Blue"

"So why didn't you take it and got on the stage?"Billie Joe asked me.

They four stared at me.

"Break a leg!" Billie Joe said, brought me Blue and pushed me on to the stage.

For my very good luck (or maybe he did it just because he saw that I'm not coming) Brian was still talking to the crowd. The only thing I did before he finished talking to them was telling Shaun that I'll tell him what happen after the performance.

 

"I'm too tired for moving" I said and sat on the grass after Green Day's performance.

They all looked at me and smiled. That evening was great- we played well, Green Day's performance was (of course) great, I got to play on the most beautiful guitar ever and even got the signatures that I wanted so much.

"It's time to go back home" Chris said I helped me to get up again.

I walked few steps before I reminded what I forgot to do.

"Hey Jay, can you tell my parents that I'll come later?"

"What? Where are you going?" Chris asked me.

"I'm going to check what's up with Taylor, I'll take a later train, fine?"

"No" she said and hugged me tight.

"Stop with it already" I said and kissed her hair. "I'll see you all tomorrow, fine?"

"Fine" John said and smiled.

"Be there at one" Shaun told me.

"Okay, bye everybody" I told them and sneaked out of Chris' hug.

The walk to Taylor's house wasn't long, maybe ten minutes, but it was 1AM and I was tired so it seemed much longer. When I got to there I knocked on the door. I knocked on it for a minute until I was too tired and sat on the stairs. Five minutes later car parked next to the house. I thought it was only passing by so I didn't look. When I looked everything I could see is Taylor carrying a huge suitcase.

"Tinker Bell!" I said and got up.

She left the suitcase, ran to me and hugged me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked and smiled.

"We performed here tonight. Where have you been? I called you so many times!"

"We went to visit grandma in France!" she said and opened the door. "Come in"

"I'd love to, but I can't. I still need to come back"

"You can forget about it, you're barely standing. You're sleeping in my house tonight"

"Thanks Tinker Bell, you really saved my life" I said and came in. I crashed on the couch and fell asleep after maybe five seconds.

 

 

 

Oh, and just because it really REALLY bothers me, I got to write the Blue is not a real Fender, it's a fake one

"Asshole" Chris said and slapped me.

"Stop"

"Idiot". This time she hit my back.

"Stop" I said again.

"Nerd". She spanked my ass.

"Now you're just enjoying it" I told her and turned around.

"Moron". She hit my back.

"Allie, please tell your little sister that I can't play like that!"

"I won't, it's funny" Allie said. She came to watch the practice with Will but they both were so tired that they could hardly keep their eyes open.

"The practice was long enough, I'm not playing anymore" Tim said.

"He's right. I'm going to take a shower and then to eat dinner, you can stay here if you want" I said and put my guitar back in its case.

"I'm going back home…It's late and I still want to meet Joanne today" Shaun told me smiling.

"And I still have to work" Neil said.

"And I still have to find myself a job before Neil will kick me out of the apartment" Tim said and smiled.

"I won't kick you out of the apartment!" Neil said and looked at Tim.

"I would kick you out" John said and smiled evilly.

"Okay- it's not interesting. Are you staying or not?"

"We already answered" Tim told me.

"And you four?"

"I'm going, don't worry"

"We're going too" Allie said and finally got up. "Do you want me to bring you something?" she asked Chris.

"No, if I'll need something I'll send Frankie to bring it for me"

 "Can't you just give up? They're your brothers, you'll see them sooner or later"

"So I better it to be later"

Trying to convince Chris to talk with Tommy and Jimmy was useless- she didn't agree that come back home and that started to be pain in the ass. Not that I didn't enjoy from being with her but hanging out with her 24/7 was way too much for me, but she didn't want to go so I let her stay.

After I took I shower I went to my room. Chris was there, she lay on my bed with close eyes.

"Hey there, are you awake?"

She didn't answer so I turned the light off. I wasn't so hungry and I was very tired so I let myself to crash on the bed, next to her. I won't die from not eating dinner when I'm not hungry.

It was weird. I couldn't fall asleep all the night and that's rare with me. I had too many things in my head. Like how to convince Chris to come home after a week she was at my house. Like why Taylor don't want to answer to my calls. Like the fact that we had only a day to practice until the performance, and that we were going to perform before a band that we all love so much. Jay told us about that by accident. Allie almost killed him. She said that perform with a big band like Green Day is not something that we'll have everyday so she wanted to surprise us. Well, it's true but I think she didn’t tell us because she didn't want us to freak out. I think that I would die if she would only tell us few minute before the performance.  I turned on my back and opened my eyes. Only three days until the vacation ends. Three. For a second it seemed like I didn't do anything in my vacation but then I started reminding in everything I've done. I think I fell asleep while thinking of it.

 

"Wake up sleepy head"

"Good morning who ever you are" I said. I couldn't open my eyes, I felt like I didn't sleep at all.

"C'mon Frank, we want to practice". This time it was Shaun.

"Neil can sing" I said and turned around.

"If this is what you want". That was John. I understood it in the second he sat on my back.

The door opened.

"Hey, you're killing him?  I want to kill him too!". Tim, of course. He sat next to John.

"Guys, stop! You'll kill him!". Guess who!

"And what do you think we're trying to do?" Tim told Shaun.

"Okay, I'll get up just get off me!" I shouted when I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Fine" they both said and got up.

I breathed and got up. "Where is Chris?"

"I'm right here!" she said from the living room.

I went to there and sat next to her. "Good morning"

"Hey you!" she said and kissed me.

"Somebody is in good mood"

"I'm always in good mood". She hugged me.

"Liar"

"Can you come to the practice already?" John screamed at me.

I smiled and got up. "Get up, you sweet little liar"

"Shut up" she told me, laughing.

"You're staying here?"

"No, I need to talk with my stupid brothers"

"Oh, and what made you understand it?"

"Stop" she said and got up. "Have fun, okay? I'll see you tomorrow"

"Fine" I said and kissed her.

"Bye" she said and went away. She waved to me before she closed the door and I waved back and laughed. I don't think she really wanted to go and talk to them, I think she just understood that she'll need to come back eventually.

I went to the basement and we started in the practice. After few seconds I felt like I'm going to pass out. Or away. I was too tired for standing while I sing so I played while sitting on the couch. When we finished playing our songs we went to make lunch. Everybody helped. Well everybody except for me.

"You're not getting sick again, right?" Shaun asked at lunch.

"No, he's not! We need him tomorrow"

"Yeah, thanks a lot John" I said and put my head on the table. I had no power to eat.

"So you're getting sick or not?" Allie asked. Sure, she didn't want any troubles. She didn't want Brian to be angry at her. I can understand it.

"I'm not sick, just tired"

"Good" Shaun said and smiled.

"Okay, do you wanna hear what the plans for tomorrow are?"

"Yes, but please talk quietly" I said and looked at her.

"Okay" she said. She didn't listen to me- I think she even talked louder. "Brian wants you to be there at one- he wants to hear you guys playing again an-"

"Why does he need to hear us again?" Tim asked.

"Because he enjoys it" Allie said and rolled her eyes. "He invited you to eat in his house after it and then we have a sound check and the performance is at six"

"And we're taking everything in my poor van?" Tim asked and smiled. I bet he wanted it to be like that.

"No, I'll bring everything in my car. You can take a train, I don't want you to drive back at 2AM after evening of amazing success- you'll be totally drunk"

"We can't drink, legally" Shaun said and smiled.

"Like somebody gives a damn" Allie told him and smiled. He looked little shocked.

"So we're meeting tomorrow at 12 in the train station?" John asked.

"No, we should practice before" Shaun answered.

"So here at ten?"

"Yeah, that's good" Neil said and smiled.

I yawned and got up. "See you all tomorrow, I'm going to sleep"

 

I sure know how Frankie feels in my story...so-damn-tired-!

I think Chris and I woke up in the same tine in that morning. Well, it was more like noon. I was happy that we did because I didn't want her to wait for me and I didn't really feel like wait for her, too. She felt much better when she woke up and she finally told me what happened-Tommy came back from god knows where again and she asked him where he was so he answered that it's none of her business. She told him that she only asked because she was worried. And then Jimmy came and as only Jimmy can do he yelled at her that she's annoying and that she isn't their mom and it really hurt her. It's sad that Allie and the evil twins could never understand how much Chris cared about them and about what they're saying because it's the only thing that I ever saw that made her cry. Well, what could I do?

 

The guys came at six, only seven hours after Chris and I woke up and in the middle of our very late lunch, but finally with the lyrics for the new song so we left our "lunch" up stairs and went to the basement. Of course that everybody, even Chris, got to read the lyrics before me.

"Can I read it?" I asked Tim when he finally finished reading.

He ignored. "How can somebody wake up if he isn't asleep?" he asked Neil and smiled.

"Stop it" Neil told him and pushed his shoulder.

"Can I read it now?" I asked again.

"You don't need to read it, you're not the singer of the band" Tim told me and smiled.

"No, you're the singer of the band, right?" Shaun asked him, took the page with the lyrics from Tim's hand and gave it to me.

"Finally" I said and started to read. The problem was that I could not concentrate because SOMEBODY got up and started singing next to my ear. I only read the name, Trying to Escape the Inevitable, before gave up.

"What happened?" Chris asked me, laughing. She must has thought that Tim's singing was funny.

"He's driving me crazy" I said and pointed at Tim.

"Tim, can you please stop?! We don't want to be deaf!" John said and pushed him.

''Alright, alright. Don't kill me, you creep!" Tim said and crushed on the couch.

"Yay, I can read again" I said and smiled.

"Shut up or I'll start singing again"

"You shut up or I'll start singing" I told him and came back to reading. It made him shut up, or at least talk quite and I could read finally. The song was much better and more interesting than our other songs. I read it once again. "Hey, Neil" I said and got up. ''Is there something yo-". Ouch. I fell on Tim's drums while walking to my guitar. Not a big surprise because I was still looking at the lyrics and Tim insisted to put the drums in the middle of the room.

Chris got up. ''Are you okay?"

"Sure" I said and got up. She never seemed to get used to the fact that I'm just falling all the time. "So Neil, there is something you don't tell us?"

"No, why?" he asked and looked at me.

"Because it sounds like you wrote this song about your girlfriend and as far as I know you don't have one"

''Oh, that. Remember Jane?"

"Can one of us forget?" Tim asked.

"No, I guess not. I had a lot of ideas after our…let's say 'interesting relationship"

''I wouldn't call it interesting, it was scary" I said. Jane was Neil's girlfriend in the year before. She was hell, she tortured him but at the start he loved her too much for caring about it and later he was just too afraid from her, I think. She broke up with him in the end. Thanks god that she broke up with him before she broke his head. Creepy girl.

''Okay, let's start to work on it. Do you have any ideas for how the lyrics will go with the music?" I asked Neil.

"Of course, let's start"

I think that until seven we finished to work on the song and it was great because Tim got so bored that he started to sing again. It was fun to start playing after working on the song, it sounded great. And also it was fun showing everybody that I could finally play it right.

That practice sure was a lot of fun but when the practice ended I had no power to stand anymore so I just crushed on the couch, next to Chris.

''I'm tired" I told her and smiled.

"How can you be tired? You woke up at 11AM"

"But I fell asleep at 3!"

"Don't blame me, I told you to go to sleep again"

"I didn't blame you, but did you really thought that I would go back to sleep?"

"Hey you two, want to share with us?" Neil asked and smiled. He couldn't stop smiling all the practice long, and it was long.

I looked at Chris but she looked at him and said "No, not really". Well, it was her choice.

"So we won't bother you" Shaun told us. He smiled too, but it was nothing special.

"They won't bother you" Tim said and put his drumsticks on the little table. He always put them there because he didn't want them to get lost.

"We won't bother you" Neil corrected him and pulled him upstairs.

"Bye everybody" I said and closed my eyes.

"Bye Frank, bye Chris" Shaun said and closed the door after them.

"Open your eyes, you crazy annoying little guy" Chris told me.

I opened my eyes. "What?"

"I'm going home"

"Kids, is the practice over? We'd like to sleep now" my dad yelled from upstairs.

"Yeah dad, the practice is over!" I yelled back. "Don't you want me to come with you?" I asked Chris.

"No, it's okay. You should go to sleep"

"Fine". I really would come with her but I was so damn tired.

"Hey Tinker Bell, It's Frank. I'm calling you at the 697 time in these two weeks. Can you call me back already? Please call me in the second you hear this massage"

 

I always hate to leave messages. I'm always afraid that I'll say something that I'll say something wrong and then won't be able to delete it. But Taylor wouldn't mind anyway.

I still needed to call Chris and Allie and to ask them if they want to come to the party. And I also needed to call Will because I guessed that John forgot to ask him. But it was 9AM, way too early for things like it. Jay and Michael were already awake. Big surprise. I didn't want to bother them so I went downstairs to practice on the new song. We had all the music for the song but Neil said that he was too busy for writing the lyrics. Bullshit. He probably got shy again or wanted to make sure that the lyrics will be perfect. Anyway, the other guys could play their parts good and I barely remembered how to play my part so I needed to practice more.

After an hour of playing the same thing I got bored so I started to play other songs and then came back to the new song again. I got better.

 

We decided to forget the practice that day. It's not that we didn't need it (we sure needed) we just were way too lazy and Neil said that he didn't finish with the lyrics of the new song so we all took a day off. A day off. What do you do in a day off in the last week of the summer vacation when you already did everything you like to do except for the thing that you will do? Nothing. That's sort of what I did. Okay, not really. Jay donated Michael and me to help him move his things from his house to ours. We finished doing it in an hour. That's fast because he has so many clothes. After it I went to Neil and Tim's apartment because it wasn't such a hot day so I guessed they were there. Neil was still at work (he was a waiter) but Tim just sat on the couch doing nothing so I joined him.

"Why did you come?" he asked. He didn't even ask it meanly. He just was tired.

''I was bored"

"So you came here? Why didn't you go to John's or Shaun's house?"

''I didn't feel like seeing Allie and Will or Shaun and Joanne making out"

''And why are you so sure that they're all together?"

''I'm good in guessing"

"Whatever" he said and turned to TV off. "Wanna eat?"

"Did you forget that you don't know to cook?"

"No, I'm not that senile. Wanna go to eat pizza?" he asked and got up.

"You're paying?" I said and smiled.

''If this will make you come faster"

''I'm coming" I said and got up. We went to his car and ten minutes later we were in pizzeria.

''Okay, tell me again why we came here instead of inviting pizza" I told him as we sat there.

"I didn't tell you why we came here before, you didn't ask"

"Can you just tell me why we came here?"

"Sure, but I think you'll understand I a second"

"What? What's u-". Somebody put his hands on my back so I turned around.

"Hey you guys! I wondered if you'll ever come to eat here!"

"Next time tell me where you're working so this little freak won't surprise me, okay Neil?"

"Maybe" he said and sat next to us. As soon as he sat some girl yelled at him "Neil, get up!". She yelled it nicely.

''Okay guys, what you want to eat?" he asked and smiled.

 

I don't think I came back home before midnight and when I came back home I was totally full from all the pizza and very damn tired so I just fell on my bed and fell asleep without knowing that that night had more plans for me.

It was weird. First I heard the door opening. I don't sure why because Chris opened it so gently. Then she lay next to me and hugged my back. I guess she thought I slept deep.

I turned around. "What's up, baby?"

''I woke you up? Sorry. Go back to sleep"

I turned the light on and looked at Chris- her eyes were red and full of tears. Then I looked at the clock. It was little after 1AM.

"Will you tell me what happened?" I asked her and dried her tears.

''It's nothing…I just fought with the evil twins and needed some time off" she told me, still crying.

I sat and hugged her. "Get up, we're going to a walk"

''I don't feel like moving"

"Get up already or I'll leave you here alone" I told her and got up.

She lay on her back and smiled to me. "You're hot"

"Chris"

She rolled her eyes and got up. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to the park"

It didn't seem like she like the idea but she came with me anyway. When we got to there I sat on the first bench I saw. I sure was tired.

Chris sat on my lap and hugged me. It looked life she's feeling better.

"They are really evil boys sometimes, you know it?" she asked and put her head on my shoulder.

"Yes, I got to see that side of them"

"No, you did not. They were terrible before I left. I don't want to see them again!"

"What did they say?" I asked. It was stupid to ask that, it made her cry again, but I just was curious. "Calm down"

"Let's come back" she said and got up.

"We're only here for two minutes"

"Frank, please? I'll tell you in the way"

"Let's go" I convinced and got up.

She couldn't talk about it. She started to tell what happened two or three times but surrendered.

After all we both slept well that night. When we came back we sat on the bed and I hugged her. It calmed her down. It calmed me down too. We both fell asleep fast.

i seen it on this one website. it was funny

It was talking about how pencey prep formed and at the end it said:

Sounds like . . . If Sonic Youth and The Pixies got together with Black Flag and Jawbreaker and added the keyboardist from The Anniversary and then got the drummer from System of a Down to drum.

http://www.last.fm/music/Pencey+Prep/+wiki

At the practice we told John about the idea for that stupid party. He liked the idea. I was the only one that thought it gonna be hell. We still needed to tell everybody else but Chris and Allie didn't come to the practice from some reason, Will never came to the practices if he didn't had a reason, Jay and Michael were still in Michael's house and Taylor didn't answer. Again. At the practice Neil decided that he does want to share with us the ideas for the new song so we started to work on it. He always has good ideas. It was great to have such a creative- musical guy in the band. Until the end of the practice we knew how the song will sound like and Neil said that he'll think of lyrics.

"Think of lyrics or write the lyrics?" Tim teased him.

"Both" Neil answered and smiled. I think that he already got used for these teases so he didn't mind too much.

When they all went back to there houses I went to my room, turned the music on and lay on my bed. I had headache again. I think it was because I heard myself playing. Well, I can't play well song that we only started to work on. Okay, I can but not when it's complicated.

I was already listening to the 12^th out of 14 songs when Jay came in. He didn't look so happy.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure" I answered and sat on my bed. "What's up?"

"First turn the music off"

I did as he said even that I don't like to do it. I'm not able to take Green Day's songs out of my head after it.

"What's up?" I asked again.

"I'm worried" he said and sat next to me.

"Why?"

"Because we're going back to school in less than two weeks"

"So?"

"Michael won't be with me in the same school! What if we'll stop seeing each other?"

I leaned back and smiled. He and his worries.

"Why are you smiling? It's not funny!"

"I almost thought that you're worry because your father's angry at you so he may stop paying now"

He smiled. It wasn't his real smile. ''I don't need to worry about it, your father already talked with mine about it and he said that he will pay for the last year at high school and for college as far as I won't come back home"

"So you're moving to here?"

"Kind of. Well, it's not so happy! You don't have to smile like that!"

I smiled a bigger smile. I didn't even notice that I was smiling before he said that I do.

''Anyway Jay- I don't think that you and Michael will stop seeing each other"

"You really think so?"

"Yes"

"Nice" he said and got up "Now come to eat dinner"

''I'll come in a minute"

"Fine, I'll say it to your mother" he said and opened the door.

''Jay?". I finally remembered to ask him.

"What?"

"Did you talk to Taylor lately?"

"No, why?"

"She doesn’t answer"

''Are you kidding? She always answers"

''Is it look like I'm kidding?"

"No, not really. But we'll be in Newark next week so we'll check what's up with her"

''I hope we'll have time for it…"

"Sure we'll have time. Now come to eat dinner"

It didn't change my mind. I needed to talk with her before it.

 

Okay, I guess I was kind of desperate after all the times that Taylor didn't answer because in the day after I did one of the things that I thought that I'll never do. I called Taylor's best friend. Damn, I always hated her. She wasn't nice at all and all she cared about was the look. Stupid girl. Anyway, she didn't answer. And I admit that I didn't do such a great effort to make sure that she will. And actually, who would?

I told it to Chris. She came an hour before the practice because she was bored. And I'm not complaining because she came, not at all.

"Do you want me to talk with her?" she asked me, laughing.

"No, and stop laughing!"

"But you're so stupid! It's not like she's going to eat you if you'll call!"

"No, it's even worse. She'll talk to me"

"You want to talk to Taylor, right?"

"No, that's okay. I'll see her next week"

"You really don't like that girl, right?"

"She has a crash on me! I still have nightmares because of it! It was hell! She ran after me all the time!"

"Stop whining!" she said and hugged me. "When was it?"

"Second grade"

"Wow, I guess it really was traumatic if you still remember it"

"Believe me, it was. She even hit me because I told her that I don't want to marry her"

''Äww…You broke her heart? Now I feel sorry for that girl"

"You just can't understand it, hu? Let's go to the basement, Jay will tell you how bad it was"

"Fine, just because I can't believe it was that bad" she said and smiled.

We got up and went to the basement. Jay sat there and cleaned his guitar. He didn't even look at us until I told him that to tell Chris how bad that crash was.

In the start he laughed and then he looked at Chris and said "This time I got to agree with Frank. It was hell for me too, she didn't stop asking me to tell Frank and she loves him. She even tried to take me to some store to buy a wedding ring for him"

"Well that's pretty bad, I guess" Chris admitted and smiled. "Why did that crash ended?"

"We had some new guy in our class. Blond with blue eyes. The dream of every stupid 7 years old girl" Jay told her and started to clean the guitar again. I don't know why. It was already clean.

''He was an ass" I said and smiled.

''Once again, he's right"

I laughed. "Do you remember that he didn't stop telling everybody that we're in love because we always came back home together?"

''I remember now". He got up with the guitar in his hands.

''I feel lucky for having Allie as an older sister" Chris said and smiled.

''It wasn't that bad, you know" Jay told her and smiled.

''I guess it really wasn't that bad" I said and crashed on the couch "But I'm definitely happy that it's over"