Paramore Blog and Journals

(Hayley)

I got only to google just for fun.I looked up Chad and Hayley our Couple name was Chayley.I started reading stuff talking about how I didnt belong with Chad that I belonged with Josh.Joshayley.People were debating if I looked better with Chad or Josh.Most people said I was better with Josh.Then I started looking at pictures.One of my favorites poped up.It was when we were in the All We Know Is Falling time.I loved it.Oh.How.I.Missed.Those.Days.

"Hayley?"Said Zac

I quickly closed my HP without closing the page.

"Over Here!''I said

"Whatcha up to?"Asked Zac once he reached my bunk

"Nothing.Just finsihed surfing the web."I said pointing to my HP

"What were you on?"Asked Zac reaching for my HP

OH NO!I didnt close the page!

"Aww!What do we have here?Joshayley?"Asked Josh

"Please dont tell Josh."I begged

"Its okay.I wont tell."Zac Said

"Thank you."I said

"So why were you looking at those stuff?"Asked Zac

"I got bored and promise not to tell but I miss Josh."I said

"I think thats cool."Said Zac

"Yeah Right."I said

"Its cool.Honestly Chad really did look like he could be your dad."Said Zac

"Wait?How did you know I broke up with him?"I asked

"I didnt."Zac Said smirking

"Your horrible!''I said hitting Zac with a pillow

Zac started running,I chased him with the pillow across the tour bus.I tripped over someones shoes.I looked up to see who caught me.Joshua Farro has caught me.

Not in a million years would I expect to be this close to Josh again in my life.

Josh started to lean in I was looking in his brown eyes.I was leaning in to we were about to kiss 5,4,3,2,

"HAYLEY!?"Yelled Zac

Great Zac did you have to ruin this moment?

"What?"I said using Josh as support to get up

"Look what  I could do!"Said Zac

GREAT ZAC YOU RUINED MY MOMENT FOR SOMETHING STUPID!

Sorry I haven't updated this in like forever! I've been busy with like updating the other story, and I just started a new story about Edward and Bella called Fall During Sunset. It takes place after Breaking Dawn so PLEASE check it out. Also, sorry this is short, Writer's block on this one:( BUZZ AND COMMENT!!!

"Mom!?" I asked in shock as I turned around. A tear fell down my cheek, and then another, and then another, until I was sobbing. It took me a while to move, since I was still in shock. I turned around and gave Jessica to Josh, then I turned back around to face my mom. "What are you doing here?" I asked again, my voice cracking twice as I said that. "I'm here to see my grandson or granddaughter." My mom said smiling. "It's a girl mom. And no, you cannot see your granddaughter, because you are no longer my mother or her grandma for that matter." I said to her, my voice raised. "And why is that?" she asked, saddness in her voice. "Because, when I told you I was pregnant, you just left. You told me I disappointed you, like you said to me for my entire life. That's when I thought 'Will i ever be good enough for her?'. And so I've made my decision, I am no longer your daughter, you are no longer my mother, and you are no longer going to be Jessica's grandmother." I said, my tone final. I was speaking the truth, every single word that came out of my mouth was true. I saw her face, tears streaming down her cheeks, and her lips pursed together to hold from crying out loud. "Well, I'm sorry okay Hayley? I never knew you felt that way." She said, her voice cracking. "Well you know what Sarah?" I asked, using her first name. I knew it was inmature, but she was no longer my mother. "You are too late! Now please, leave!" I said, beginning to start crying again. She just nodded, and turned to leave. I turned around to see Josh in shock as he held the baby, and so I hugged both of them in a tight embrace.

Later that day, Jeremy, Zac, and Taylor left to go home. But Josh stayed beside me and Jessica the whole time. Jessica fell asleep in my arms, and Josh fell asleep beside my hospital bed. I sat up from the bed, and kissed Josh's forehead, and Jessica's. Jessica, Josh, and Music were now my life, I loved these things to death. But what was missing was family, the family I belonged to. I grabbed my cellphone quietly, trying not to wake the two as I stood up from the bed and went to the hallways. "Hello?" Erica asked on the other line, "Hey Erica, It's Hayley. I just needed someone to talk to." I said smiling. "I heard about what happened between you and mom, hardcore." She said, "Actually, she's not my mom anymore. Yours actually. We are just now confusingly related." I said laughing. "How's my niece? I haven't seen her yet, you have to come some time and let me see her." She said being friendly. "I will. Maybe tomorrow when me and Jessica are released from the hospital. I have to tell you Erica, she is beautiful." I replied. "Really? Like, really beautiful?" She asked. "Yes, I do mean 'really' beautiful" I said. And so for the past hour, I talked to Erica about stuff. She had a boyfriend name Jason, and said he asked her out to the dance. Mom was drinking for some odd reason, and that Uncle Billy was coming to visit. That's why I love my sister, she fills me in on everything:)

Hey guys! What's up? Anyways, right now what is currently happening is i've started a new fanfic about Edward and Bella. It takes place after Breaking Dawn, and it's called Falling During Sunset! Check it out! the first chapter will be posted right after i post this one so check it out! And btw, this is the 2nd last chapter of this story. I know it's short but like all things, it has to end. Anyways BUZZ AND COMMENT PLEASE!

Hayley's P.o.v.

Day's passed, and I got sicker each day. I visited the doctor constantly, due to the fact that whenever I fainted Josh would bring me to the hospital. But the doctor would say the same thing over and over again, "There's nothing we can do about it, we're sorry.". I kept telling Josh that to stop bringing me to the hospital but he always said, "I'm only doing that to be cautious, and because I love you Hayley.". I couldn't argue with that, I loved him more then he would ever know. It was the day of the concert, and our wake-up call was 5:30am. Me and the band always said that when there's ever something that starts with a five, and ends with an 'am', it's evil. But on this particular morning all of us couldn't wait to start the day. "Zac, what are you doing?" I wrote on my notepad, He was putting a bottle filled with yellow liquid into my fridge, and he just came out of the washroom. "Um, trying to see if anybody is stupid enough to think this is tea and drink it." He replied smiling, frozen with the door open and holding the bottle. "It's pee." He said after I gave him a weird look. I just smiled and rolled my eyes, thinking of the possiblities of the rest of the band drinking it. All of a sudden I heard someone spitting out their drink in disgust, and turned around to see Zac with a face that anyone would laugh at, and pee on the ground. "Eww, you're cleaning that up." I wrote on my notepad and showing it to him.

"Zac did what!?" Josh laughed, falling to the floor and crying from all the laughing. Jeremy and Taylor joined in, while Zac whined "Guys! It's not funny!". I was laughing silently too with them, as Zac sat on the couch with his arms crossed like a 5 year old. I got ready with Josh's help, making sure I didn't fall over or anything. We haven't had you know what since that night we done it. But it wasn't because we didn't want to, we really did. It was just me, sick old Hayley. "Is everybody ready!?" Josh asked, Jeremy and Taylor were staying over at my place because we wanted to be at the concert early, no being late. "Ya!" Jeremy and Taylor called running down the stairs with Zac. "Where's Will?" I wrote on my notepad, "He's already at the venue waiting for us. Come on, i'll help you to the car. I still think this is a bad idea though." Josh said, helping me to my feet. "Sure." I whispered in his ear.

I could not believe it. It was only 6 in the morning, and already people were lined up outside the concert hall. There could have been 500 people all lined up around the building. Screams came from the fans as me and the band came out the car and inside the concert hall. I covered my ears, the screams were loud! Josh helped me into the concert hall, and there we all got ready for the last show.

"How's life Nashville!?" I yelled in the microphone excitedly. I didn't care if that single question I asked made me feel like my throat was on fire, It was worth it. So many people were here, more then 800! I could not believe this! "Did anybody fly here or drove here from another country?" I asked, then I pointed the microphone to the direction of the crowd, and heard screams coming from them. "Wow" was all I could think. "I think were gonna have a good night!" I yelled, then All We Know Is Falling started playing. "This is a song about love, that's gone terribly wrong. Sing along!" I said before I started singing.

We had to play 20 songs, 9 songs more than what we originally do. We were now in our last song, Brick By Boring Brick. "Pa-ra-pa-para-pa-pa-pa-para-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!" I said singing the last words. I couldn't believe it, we were finished. The band and I came to the center of the stage, bowing. My throat hurt so much, but it was worth it. I sang every word with as much effort as I possibly could during this concert, but I knew it was the last time I would ever sing:( All of a sudden my head was throbbing, and I fell to the hard ground on the stage.

I said I would post a Thanksgiving chapter to this and I am,but it hardly mentions that it is Thanksgiving in the chapter.I have it all planned out totally now..P.S. Things I think are going to start picking up from here.

Hayley's P.O.V

Dear Diary,

It's finally Thanksgiving and Pete was throwing us a special Thanksgiving party at his place in L.A,where we happened to be right now.

I had to admit that he did a killer job at decorated his place.

Everybody from the tour was here with their dates.Except me,of course.

I had to be the one that didn't have a boyfriend,but had two  guys that liked me.Alex Gaskarth and Alex Lipshaw.

I was so angry to see Ryan here with Keltie.I guess he really had cheated on me.I was starting to believe all the rumors I was hearing about Keltie jumping him on the bus,but those feelings all came crashing right down when I saw her pressed up against all parts of his body.

I knew I shoudn't care this much.I really shoudn't care,but I do.

To make things worse,Cassadee saw them making out and wanted to kick the crap out of Ryan even more.I'm sure she would have given them both an earful if Pete,Jeremy,and I hadn't restrained her.

Speaking of Pete.He took me aside during dinner and talked to me about what happened with Alex on the bus that night.I was laughing so hard and he looked like he was pop with anger."This is NO laughing matter Hayley.You weren't supposed to have sex until after your were married!" I had to wait until he cooled down enough to tell him that I didn't let Alex go that far.He now hates Alex too because he thinks that Alex is going to pressure me into sex when I just broke up with someone.Thanks for all the belief in me Pete.

Moving on to Alex now.

I still haven't figured out if I really want to have a relantionship with him or just a friendship.He makes me feel good about myself,like Josh does.That's his best friend quality.But he also makes me want him without trying to.That's his boyfriend quality.

Going on to Alex L. now.

He is going to be my friend ONLY.I am totally sure I do not have feelings for him.I just feel really bad that he likes me and has no idea that I don't have the same feelings for him.

I'm really not liking this tour so far,but I'm not letting us drop out of it because I'm having boy issues.

I should probably go before people start to wonder where I am.

I left my diary in the bathtub where I was writing hoping no one would find and take it.

I started walking down the hall to get back to the party when I saw Pete in the hall.

"Hey Pete."

"Look Hayles I'm so sorry that I flipped out on you earlier.It's just that I didn't think you would fall for someone so easily and I jumped to conclusions when you weren't wearing a shirt and were with Gaskarth and-"

I put my fingers to his lips so he would shut up."I forgive you,now give me hug and we can get back to the party."

He smiled at me,picked me up, and gave me a bear hug that made it hard to breathe."I love you Hayles and I really don't want to see you get hurt again.And I think it would be impossible to restrain Cass if someone hurt you again."

I had to laugh at how true that was."Cass would go physco if someone did that to me again."

He laughed,hugged me again,and we lefted to go back to the party.

3 hours later

I had danced with everyone in the room except Ryan of course.He was busy making out with Keltie,but I couldn't help but notice that he would open his eyes and throw me glances every few seconds.It looked like he was trying to make sure I would see him and Keltie together.

Where was my distraction when I needed him?

"Hayweee"I heard a voice say from behind me.Oh yeah,he was drunk off his ass.

"Hi Alex."

"Come and dance with me babe."He words were slurred.

"I'd rather not at this moment,but thanks anyway."I turned my head away.I hated it when he was drunk.I'd seen it once before and hated it from the begining.

"If you're not gonna dance,I'm going to kiss you."

"Alex,don't.We agreed-"Before I could finish my sentence his lips were on mine and his tongue was down my throat.I tried pushing him away but he had a very strong grip on my arms.

He started to lift my shirt up,but an unknown force pulled him off.

I pulled down my shirt as Taylor and Cassadee came over and held me.All eyes were on the scene before us except for Keltie's,who were boring holes into the side of my head.Cass looked ready to smack her and at that point ,I would have let her.

Ryan and Alex were throwing punches at each other over and over.By the looks of it,Alex was losing big time.

"You best stay away the fuck from her Gaskarth or you'll be in a lot worse shape then you are in now."Ryan yelled.He was beyond pissed.

Jack,Ryan,and Zack all ran to Alex and pulled him outside before he had time to throw another punch.I could hear them yelling at him.The pointless yelling that wouldn't get through to him in his drunken state.

Spencer,Jon,and Brendon took Ryan into the kitchen and I could hear them yelling at him too.Another pointless fight.

All of them were fighting because of me.It was all my fault that these bands were being torn apart.

I couldn't help myself anymore as I burst into tears on Cassadee's shoulder.She rocked me back and forth in her arms whispering that it would be alright,that everything was going to fall right into place.All lies.

I saw Keltie go upstairs with a look of defeat on her face and I couldn't care less.

This was all my fault.

Keltie's P.O.V

I walked upstairs and into the bathroom in Pete's house.I was losing a battle that was totally one-sided and created by me.Ryan was supposed to be mine.He was supposed to love me not that red headed bitch.It killed me when I saw the look in his eye that told me he was still in love with Hayley.

"She probably doesn't even remember we used to be best friends."I said to myself.

I guess I'm not surprised that she fell for Ryan when they toured together.But still,she had known I loved him since the first time we went to there concert and met them.

*flashback*

"Oh My Gosh,that was so amazing."My best friend in the entire world Hayley Williams gushed.

"I know,and did you see the guitarist.So hot!"I laughed.

"I can't believe we get to meet them,Hayley thank you so so much for geting us backstage passes."I said for the 100th time that day.

"Thank Pete,he was the one who got them for us."She said.

"I still can't believe Pete freaking Wentz is your cousin."Hayley was the luckiest person on this planet.She was in a band that already had hundreds of fans.No surprise,the band was amazing.Hayley could win any guys heart, and she was abnormaly beautiful.But she also had one of the worst past ever.Worse than any sob story a movie producer could come up with.

"Oh My Gosh,were here.Come on."She said snaping me out of my thoughts.

I smiled at her,she knocked on the dressing room door and the singer answered.

"Hey."He said."You must be Hayley,right?"

"Yup, I sure am and this is my friend Keltie."She said while pointing to me.I smiled and waved at him.

"Nice to meet both of you.I'm Brendon by the way.Come on in."

He opened the door wider so we could fit through and closed the door behing us.This dressing room was huge.

"Hey,guys.Come out here.Hayley and her friend are here."Brendon called into what appeared to be an empty closet.

Not so empty,I thought as three tall guys came into view from out behind the door.

"This is Jon our bassist,Spencer our drummer,and Ryan our guitarist."

As soon as he said the name Ryan, my heart started to speed up.

We all shook hands and said our hellos.

I tried flirting with Ryan a couple of times that night,but he never looked at me once.His eyes were focased only on the red head beside me.

I could tell already.He was falling in love with her by her only saying a few words.

'I love all  music' His eyes shined when she said that.

"What about you Keltie,what kind of music do you like?"Spencer asked me.

"I don't like music,I just went this concert because of her."I said with bitterness in my tone.

I loved Ryan at first sight and he didn't even spare a glance for me.His eyes were only on Hayley.

That's when I decided that I would date Ryan one day and that I was going to ruin all of my ex-best friend's relationships.

*flashback end*

That reminded me of why I was doing this to my once best friend.

I wanted Ryan and I hated her.

"I need a shower."I said.

I drew back the shower curtain and was about to turn on the water when I saw a little green book with a title that said diary of Hayley Williams.

"This battle isn't over yet Hayley."I said to myself.

Hayley Williams, I'm going to make your life Hell on Earth.

~>~

Comments Please.

This is my favorite chapter that I have writen so far.I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Til Next Time

Peace Out and have a happy Thanksgiving.

-Lexi

You can't change who people are without destroying who they were. - the butterfly effect

         I left school that day and stopped by walmart. I went to the hairdye section and grabbed 2 different colors.I pulled out some of the money i made working at grimeys, a record store, and paid.

  I went home and pulled out the dye. Tomarrow was a goodbye party to paramore,joshs band, at the farros. And me being me decided to give them some thing to remember.

   After my hair was done i dryed and straigthend it. It looked nice. But i cut it. It looked even better after that. I decided to go to my room. When i got there i started packing.

   About a week ago i was informed that i was old enogh to live on my own. Me a 16 year old girl. I normally would stay at joshs. But he was gone for 2 or 3 weeks recording. Then going on warped tour.

  I got out my duffle bag and started packing. I got a few out fits in there so i grabed my panda cack pack and filled it up with other things. I decided id finish tomarrow.

  So i went upstairs to grab somre oreos and milk. When i got up there i heard jason and his oldest son Dave,17, talking. It went the other way to the kitchen and made it there.

   I filled my glass up with milk and grabbed the oreos. and headed back to my room. I put on the movie the butterfly effect and sat. I thought about how kaylieghs dad was almost as bad as jason.

   I fell asleep with that thought. I woke up at about 2 in the morning. Then i just started to cry. I was looseing my best friends, my "Home", my "family", and Josh. My life was restarting.

   Not one of those good second chances. One that ends up with a happy ending. I didnt have anywhere to live. A job. Food. I am pretty sure im gonna die.Why did everything hate me.

   But i have to make it through the day. Atleast to say good bye. I may never see them again. And that thought killed me. The only person who didnt think i was a peice of crap.

   I slowly fell back to sleep. I woke up again at 9:30. Better get the day over with.

   I walked into joshs house. Noone had seen my hair. So i was kind of nervous. I had on the blue dress i wore to Jasons sith Marys wedding. So i felt pretty. I walked into the living room.

  Josh looked and smiled. He said" You look beautiful. And os does your hair."

"Thanks"I replied.

"Come on lets go find the rest of the guys."

     Towards the end joshs parents called the band up to play an acoustic song. The played franklin. I never noticed how amazing it was.When they were done josh came up to me and asked" Will you be my last dance?"

"Of course." I said trying not to cry. I know i seem over dramatic. But i dont know if ill ever see him again. Thats when stop and stare by one republic came on. It seemed perfect.

 This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

   After about a minuet and 30 seconds someone tapped on my sholder. I turned around to see Bridgette from the other night at rocketown."May i cut in?" she asked

"Uh sure." I said backing away and going to the kitchen. I went in there and saw Taylor and Zac. "Hey guys."

 "Whats up?"Taylor asked.

"At a party."

"Naw."

After a few minuets josh joined us inthe kitchen. Then 'Every rose has its thorn' came on."Hey sorry bout last time lets try this again."He said pulling me towards the dance floor.

    That night i spent the night at joshs kind of. We stayed up and watched taken. /then both the trasformers movies.It was me Josh Zac and taylor. We played truth or dare. Zac had to streak in his underwear. Their poor neighbors.

   I had to freeze a bra and wear it. Josh had to sing the millionairs while dancing. And Taylor poor Taylor had to do a strp tease. I love my friends.

    The next morning i had pancakes for breakfest then went home. Josh had to leave today so i texted him to meet me at the park.When i got their he was sitting on a bench and i came and sat with him.

   "I have a surprise." I said.

   "What? Tell me!"He said. I sat down and held the guitar i broght with me.                      "I wrote this for you." 

 Cory's eyes are like a jungle
He smiles, it's like the radio
He whispers songs into my window
In words nobody knows
There's pretty girls on every corner
That watch him as he's walking home
Saying, does he know
Will you ever know

[Chorus:]
You're beautiful
Every little piece love, don't you know
You're really gonna be someone, ask anyone
When you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh but if it don't, stay beautiful

Cory finds another way to be
The highlight of my day
I'm taking pictures in my mind
So I can save them for a rainy day
It's hard to make conversation
When he's taking my breath away
I should say, hey by the way

[Chorus]

If you and I are a story
That never gets told
If what you are is a daydream
I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

You're beautiful every little piece love,
and don't you know your really gonna be someone ask anyone.
and when you find everything you looked for,
I hope your life leads you back to my front door.
oh but if it don't will you stay
beautiful beautiful beautiful
beautiful beautiful beautiful
la la la
Oh, oh oh oh,
oh but if it don't,
stay beautiful
stay beautiful
Na na na na na

(Its stay beautiful by taylor swift i changed the lyrics though)

 "wow that was really pretty."He said.

"Thanks."I blushed. Then his phone rang.

"Im sorry Shey i gotta go."He said then kissed my cheek.

"Bye."I said.

"Bye."

Okay thats part one. I'll update later. Please comment and buzz

Sheys dress

  panda back pack

Sheys hair except its a black streak not gerey.

Sheys clothes

Okay i love looking up clothes so i may do this alot

I wanna make a deal with you guys.Deal is if I get 25 comments on Stuck On You ill update All I Said RIGHT NOW!Deal or No Deal?(Same person can only comment 4 times)

(Hayley)

"Tell me why?"I asked

"Ill tell you after school."Said Josh

"Okay.Promise?"I asked

"Yes.I promise."Said Josh

Josh and I walked to school without a word.Nothing just plain scilence.Not one peep from Josh nor I.I was getting sick of this scilience I wanted to break it but i was scared of what I said would upset him more than I already had.We finally arived at Franklin High.We walked in to my locker.Josh was silent lost in his thoughts.

It was afterschool and I was waiting for Josh at the Front Entrance.Josh came walking scilently without a word.When he saw me he smiled and waved.I ran to him and hugged him.

"How are you?"I asked

"Okay.You sweeite?"Asked Josh

"Im pretty good,"I said

We walked out of this hell of a place the we call school.

"Are you going to tell me whats wrong?"I asked Josh

"Yes.But not here."Said Josh

"Okay where?"I asked

"At Franklin Park."Said Josh

(Josh)

It was killing me inside the I havent told Hayley yet.I need to tell her now before it was to late.Im scared of what might happen if I dont and she finds out from Zac,Taylor,Bekkah,Hannha,Jeremy and Lacey.I was going to tell her as soon as we got to Franklin Park she need to know this now.

"And here we are."I said once we were at the park

"Okay not tell me."Said Hayley

"Its not easy at all but im moving."I said

"WHAT!?"Yelled Hayley

"Were moving Zac,Isabella,Nate,John,Chris(Mr.Farro),and Brenda(Mrs.Farro)."I said

"Why?Where?"Said Hayley

"My dad got offered at better job in California."I said trying to hold my my tears

"Oh.Long Distance Releshonshps?"Asked Hayley crying

"I dont think it will last."I replied honestly

"Have a great time in California."Hayley said walking away

But little did I know that wasent the last time I would see her...

(Hayley)

I could not belive it Josh was leaving to California.I wanted to go with him.But I knew my mom wouldent let me,It wasent worth it.I walked away from Josh.

But little did I know that wasent the last time I would see him...

I dont mean to run but everytime you come around I feel more alive than ever..-Paramore Adore(Demo)

SORRY ITS SO SHORT!

I wanna make a deal with you guys.Deal is if I get 25 comments on Stuck On You ill update All I Said RIGHT NOW!Deal or No Deal?(Same person can only comment 4 times)

GO COMMENT!

Homecoming, Im coming
My sweet mistake
Summers over, hope its not too late
Im pacing, impatient
Up in my head
Taken back to the sidewalk where we met

I sat in the airplane quieltly waiting impatiently for the plane to land at My Final Destination,Franklin Tennesse.I wasent scared of planes or traveling.I was afraid that mabey "he" still lived there.The he is my first love Joshua Farro.The boy that stole my heart and then broke it because he decide to cheat on me.That was my sweet mistake that I made In Tennessse and the reason I left the state.I went to my hometown Merdian,Mississppi for a whole summer and now summer's over and im back here in Franklin.Finally the plane landed at my Destination.When the pilot finally gave us permission to head on out.I didnt wait a minute I jumped up from my seat and went to get my luggage and practicly ran out of the plane shoving and pushing people along the way earning Death Glares from thoose people.

I walked to the fimalry Fresh Air smell of Franklin Tennesse.I called for a Cab.It finally arrived to were I was standing.When I got in the Cab it asked to were I wanted to go."143 Elizabeth Street"I said without anything else.The Cab driver nodded and started driving down the fimalry streets of Franklin.Then one street that ment everything to me reminded me of were I met "him"Joshua.It remineded me of the first time I met him.He acted so inoccent but he wasent.He was just playing me and playing million over other girls out there.

And Carved out our names.

Do you remember that?

It was also the same plave were we broke up and behind that little Apple Tree there were our inetils carved out or engraved how ever you would like to call it.That just brought by horrible memorries.The only real reason that im coming back to Franklin is because I left my mom my to little sister Erica and McKayla here in Franklin over a stupid guy that decided to break my heart without no reason.

Im coming home,Im coming home

Did you take off while while I was gone?

I missed it all,I messed you up,I missed you

Im coming home.I wanna know

When all the leaves begin to fall

If im falling im falling apart for you

Finally the cab reached the stop I was anxious to stop at.I saw my mom there and my two little sisters and "Him".How did he know that I was coming to Franklin?Did my mom tell him  that I was coming back?Here I am im coming home and he didnt take off while I was gone.He decides that he should come visit me when I come back to my home and the reason I left was because of him.I missed this plave I missed it all here I didnt miss one single thing.Every tear I cryed was worth it.What I anoyes me of myself is that in some weird twisted way I still missed him and I felt like I belonged in his arms.I told him all my secrets nothing left out everything was all for him.When he decided to do that I fell apart for him and im still falling apart for him all for HIM.

You've got control of me.

Is this the end of me?

Cause I cant cut up the strings

Im coming back for more

Dont let your heart go

Please dont walk away

There he sat on the green grass.Looking repented.Has he forgotten me?He had everything that was mine he was my whole.I thought he would be the one.Everyday I would ask myself is he the end of me?I couldent cut up the strings.Im coming back for more pain from him.I just dont want my heart to go back to him.I dont think I can trust him anymore.I got up from the cab and Josh came towards me.Josh said"Need Help?"I said"Sure."I walked side by side with Josh."Hey Mcake and Erica!"I said hugging them"Hi mom."I said after hugging Erica and Mckayla."Ill leave you two to talk."Said my mom taking Erica and McKayla inside.

Homecoming,Im coming,Im coming back

Im coming home.Im coming home

Did you take off while I was gone?

I missed it all,I messed you up,I missed you

Im coming home,I wanna know

When all the leaves begin to fall

Im falling,Falling apart for you 2x

FLASHBACK

"I had so much fun Josh!"I said

"Did you really like it?"Said Josh

"Ye.."I was cut off

"Good Job Josh!You handled a whole month with this loser!"Said Josh's old friend John

"You win here's your money."Added John

"JOSH!WAS THIS ALL A BET!?"I yelled

"No Hayley I dont know what he's talking about"Said Josh

"Sure you do."I said running away

"Please Hayley."Said Josh running after me

Reality

"Prove it."I said

"Fine,Close your eyes."Said Josh

I closed my eyes.

"Now Hayley Nichole Williams will you marry me?"Asked Josh

"YES!"I yelled from the top of my lungs

"I love you Hayley."Said Josh

"I love you to"I said

Im Falling,Falling Apart for you-Hey Monday Homecoming

(Hayley POV)

I was outside holding Josh's hands well he was holding me hands.He was looking into my eyes with honetsy written all over his face.

"Hayley?I have been feeling this way since the first day I meet you."Said Josh

"Feeling What?"I asked

"This."Said Josh

Josh kissed me and I kissed him back.

"I feel the same way to."I said

"Will you be my girlfriend?"Asked Josh

"OF COURSE!"I Exclaimced jumping on Josh and kissing him.

We both walked to school hand and hand smiling at eachother every 3 minutes.I loved the way his hand felt on my soft hands.I really hoped that this releshinshp would last for a long time.I couldent wait to get to school and tell Kira.We finally arrive at school when we reached the front door of the school all eyes were on us.Everyone stopped what they were doing and just looked at us for 5 seconds of there life.That was a first.

"What is everyone staring?"I asked

"I dont know just ignore it."Said Josh

"Okay I will."I said

We finally entered the school and that was even worse every single two pair of eyes on everyone's faces looked at us.I tried to ignore the supicious naked eye balls looking at us but I couldent ignore the fact the people were looking at 'us'.When we finally reached my locker people started chilling out and started going back to there regualr business.I smiled at Josh.

"I gotta go get my stuff."Said Josh sadly

"Okay.Ill miss you."I said

=============================================================================================

(TWO MONTHS LATER)

Its been two months that Josh and I offiaclay together.But Josh started acting really distant since the eighth week that we were together.I was starting to wonder why he was acting so weird.He didnt kiss me anymore he only kissed my cheek and when I wanted to talk to him or ask him something he would just nod or say 'Yes' and or'No.Nothing more than that just that.I was starting to feel the he didnt want to be with me anymore or mabey that he just wanted to have a break.I decided I would talk to him at School this Monday and talk to him of why he was acting this way.

Josh was outside waiting for me like any other day but he still seemed distant.I walked outside telling my goodbyes to my mom and dad and Erica,McKayla.I saw him and I decided to try saying Hi and see he would do.

"Hi!"I said excidedly

"Hello Hayley."Said Josh in a formal tone

"Whats wrong?"I asked

"Nothing why?"Asked Josh

"You have been really distant."I said

"You Know what!?"Yelled Josh

"What?"I asked Scared

"Im doing this for your own good."Said Josh

(Josh's POV)

If only she knew why I was doing this...

Im sorry its short im gonna get in trouble if I dont log off.hehe

AND NO IM NOT COPYING THE TWILIGHT SAGA:NEW MOON!

Its gonna be very diffrent

PACMAN IT IS!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

~Hayley's pov~

After Paija and I hung up, I turned to Josh.

"What the hell?!"  I asked.

"What?"  He asked with an innocent expression.

"Shut up, you know what I mean!"  I said.

"Oh, you mean when I tickled you?"  He asked.

"Yes, Paija probably thought that we were doing something," I explained.

He smiled and I got up and went to go get my back pack.  I just came home for lunch.  I got back to school with ten more minutes to spare.

"Hey, 'daughter'," Angelica said as I came into the class. 

We always play this little thing how I, Asami, Paija, Melania, and Abbie are her 'daughters', and our 'fathers' are the guy that she's going out with at the time.  If she gets grandchildren, she'll dis-own us.

"Hey, 'mother', who's my 'father' again?"  I asked.  I knew, it was Michael A.

"Okay, Melania's 'dad' is Lucky, and Abbie's 'dad' is Alex, so your 'dad' is...who is your 'dad'?"  She asked.

"Michael A.," I said.

"Oh, really?"  She asked.

I laughed and nodded my head at her true confusion.

"Oh, okay, whatever you say," she said.

"So, who's my 'stepdad' now?"  I asked.

"For now, you don't have one," she said.

"Your single?  What happened to Alex?"  I asked.

"Oh, I was only going out with him for five minutes," she said.

I raised one eyebrow.  "What?"  I asked.

"Yeah, I went out with him for two minutes, and in those two minutes, he cheated on me," she said.

"Well, then wouldn't that be two minutes instead of five?"  I asked.

"No because I spent three minutes cussing him out," she said.

"Well, good for you!"  I said.

She laughed.

"So Abbie became your 'daughter' in five minutes?  I knew that she was my 'sister' but I didn't know when she became my 'sister',"  I said.

"Yeah, at the football game I said, 'Abbie, your my daughter,'" Angelica said.

"Hey, I'm gonna give you a nickname," I said.

"What is it?"  She asked.

"Funsized, because you're one of the only people in this school that I'm taller than," I explained.

She laughed and then sneezed.  It was high-pitched and she sounded like a little girl.

"Aww!"  I teased her.

"Shut up," she muttered.

I laughed and the bell rang.

Angelica got up and before she left she turned back to me.

"Remember, study hall, we have detention," she said.

"Oh yeah, thanks," I said.

She nodded and went out of the class.  I moved my bag to my seat in the back of the room.  The teacher came in and began her lecture.

That class was over and next was study hall.  Great, detention.

I went in the room and raised my eyebrows at the amount of people in the room.  Apparently a lot of people got in trouble.

I sat in the chair next to Abbie and I was behind Angelica.  Abbie leaned over to me as the teacher came in.

"Great, we got creature teacher," she whispered in my ear.

I laughed quietly and went back in my seat.

Everyone was talking and getting the teacher even more pissed.

"Excuse Me!"  She screamed.

Everyone quieted and she continued with her sitting there and doing nothing.

Angelica turned around to talk to me.

"She's probably editing her picture to put it on eHarmony," Angelica said.

I laughed.

"Excuse Me!"  The teacher screamed.

"You're excused," Angelica said.

Abbie was the first to laugh at that, and everyone joined in.  Then, the teacher blew a whistle and everyone groaned and covered their ears.

Detention dragged on until we finally got to leave.  We headed for our buses and I gave Angelica a hug before Abbie and I got on our bus.                                                                                 _______________________________________________________________________________

I opened the door to the apartment and everyone was there.  Zac, Paija, Josh, Taylor, and Jeremy.

"Hey, Hayley," Josh said as I set my back pack down.

"Hey, why is everyone here?"  I asked.

"I kinda wanted them to hear you sing," Josh said guiltily.

My eyes opened wider and I ran to my room.  Before I could even get to my door, Josh grabbed my waist and pulled me towards the couches.  I tried to get away, but I couldn't.

"No!!"  I said as he pulled me.

He sat down and pulled me next to him.  I shook my head.

"Please Hayley?  For me?"  He pleaded.  God, I hate it when people do that.

I took a deep breath and started to sing Conspiracy.  I earned a couple shocked faces and a high five from Zac when I was finished.

"You should hear me on the drums!"  He said.

"Okay, I'll try to see you play one of these days," I said.

"Hey, I play bass, and T play the electric guitar, we should start a band," Jeremy said.

"That's a good idea, but I have school.  Everyone except Josh and you do," I said.

"So," Josh said.

I smiled.

"Shoot, we have to go," Paija said.

"Okay, bye Pacman!"  I said as her and Zac walked out the door.

"What?"  Paija asked as she turned around.

I playfully sighed exassperated.

"Pacman.  He's a little yellow circle guy with a slit as a mouth and he eats little pebbles while ghosts are chasing after him, and-" I was cut off.

"I know who Pacman is, I just wanted to know why you called us that," Paija said.

"OH!!"  I said.

"Well, I was thinking of a nickname for you guys, like combining your names together, then I thought Pac and started thinking of Pacman, so that is what I'm gonna call you guys from now on," I said.

"Oh, okay then, bye," she said as she gave me a hug.

I hugged back, and then everyone left.

The apartment was cleared and Josh and I were left alone.

"So, what do you feel like doing?"  I asked.

"This," he said as he took my face in his hands.

He pressed his mouth to mine and I just sat there, letting him do what he please.  He pulled my legs up so that I was sitting in his lap.  Then I started paying attention.

He pulled me closer to him and I ran my hands in his hair.  I knew that I needed to stop now if I didn't want to be a baby boomer, so I pulled away and we were both panting.

"Sorry," he said.

"It's fine, I didn't mind," I said.

He smiled and we turned on the TV to a soccer game.

Josh broke the silence.

"So, Pacman, huh?"  He asked.

"Yep," I laughed.

"Interesting," he said as he turned back to the game.

I laughed and continued to watch with him.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

wow, this is freaking LONG!! use of the name Pacman is all done with!! kinda having a writers block, so can any of you PLEASE tell me what you wanna see happen next!!

<3 Sarina

Chapter 18 - I'm Screaming, I Love You So

Josh’s POV

            I took a deep breath, finally managing to control my laughter. Emily’s laughs subsided as well, followed closely by Becky and Garrett.

            "Well...I have to use the bathroom," Emily muttered randomly. She moved towards the bathroom, but turned back to Garrett first. "Careful," she warned him. "Don't go sucking off Becky's face and catch what she has the second I turn my back."

            Garrett turned crimson and we all laughed at his reaction. There a few moments of awkward silence until Emily sauntered back out of the bathroom. I smiled at her, my heart rate kicking up when she grinned back. She sighed a little before turning to Becky.

            “Oh, Becky?” she called. Becky looked up, her hair flying around her.

            “Yeah?” she asked.

            “Wanna grab a coffee with me from the café in the lobby?” Emily asked, glancing towards Garrett and I. “You know, just us girls?”

            Becky gave Emily a questioning look. “Uh… sure,” she mumbled in response, getting up and slipping her shoes on. Emily followed suit and I pouted at her.

            “What am I supposed to do?” I asked.

            “Wait,” she replied, exiting the room. I raised my eyebrows in surprise, watching as she disappeared down the hall. Becky followed after, no doubt giggling at my thoroughly confused expression. She shut the door behind her, enveloping Garrett and me in an awkward silence. He remained sitting on the bed as I plopped down on a chair. He cleared his throat as I played with my fingers, looking around at the room. There were a few CDs lying around the room, several titles jumping out at me when they caught my interest.

            “Soooo,” Garrett mumbled, sighing.

            “Yep,” I said, popping the ‘p’. We sat in silence for a few more seconds.

            “Okay, I’m kinda bored,” Garrett said.

            “Ditto.”

            “So what should we do?”

            “I have no idea,” I sighed. I reached out to look through some DVDs. One in particular made me smile. I loved this movie!

            “Dumb and Dumber?” I asked, holding the cover up. Garrett smirked and nodded.

            “Personal favorite,” he said rather proudly. “Leave it to Becky to shoot it down before the rest of the movies.”  

            “I feel your pain,” I snickered. “Em loves it but my friend Hayley can’t stand it. Said she’s seen it way too many times. She and Em always disagree over what movie to watch. It’s kind of hilarious really.” I laughed a little at the memories or their arguments. Garrett joined in, laughing half-heartedly. He looked suddenly preoccupied.

            “Something wrong?” I asked suspiciously.

            “It’s just… never mind,” he mumbled.

            I sighed. “Really? We’re gonna do this? It’d just be easier to tell me.”

            He laughed. “True that.”

            I waited. “Are you gonna tell me?”

            “Well not if you keep asking!” he ‘joked’. He was stalling. I could see it in his eyes.

            “All right,” I said, folding my hands patiently. “I’ll sit here and wait for you to tell me.”

            “Man, now you remind me of Becky!” he complained.

            “Why, because I want to discuss feelings?” I retorted.

            “Sure, let’s go with that.”

            “Too bad.”

            “Fine.” Five more seconds.

            “Just tell me God dammit! I can’t take the suspense!” I groaned. He laughed.

            “Okay I’ll tell you!” he replied. “I’m just worried.”

            “About what?” I asked, confused.

            “About Emily,” he mumbled. My brow furrowed. What? He seemed to notice my confused expression as he continued. “It’s just when you weren’t here she was so… out of it! It was frightening, really. She used to look so hollow and worried all the time. She was always pulling Becky aside and asking questions. And then there were the dreams…”

            “Dreams?” I asked quietly. Garrett nodded.

            “Terrible dreams,” he muttered. “She used to wake up screaming or crying. She kept telling Becky that something was wrong, that it was killing her. Becky was a wreck trying to calm her down. I remember the first day it happened, Becky and I had to chase her through the entire hotel before we caught up. She just started melting down. After that, she had nightmares every night and kept waking up crying at the most random times. She was always jumpy and sad. When she thought we weren’t looking, we saw her wiping tears out of her eyes. We really didn’t know what was going on. Becky sort of explained it to me though.”

            “Oh God,” I whispered to myself. “What did Becky say?”        

            Garrett sighed. “You know how it is. Can’t reveal all your friend’s secrets. But it was basically just about you. Em missed you too much. She was always worried about you or freaking out over you. She kept thinking maybe you didn’t love her anymore or that you moved on to Hay- uh someone else. She thought maybe it was for the best, that she didn’t deserve you. But it still hurt her.”

            “She thought… she thought I didn’t love her.” I repeated tensely. Garrett nodded.

            “Look, Em and I haven’t been friends very long,” Garrett said. “But I still care about her and so do the rest of the guys. She’s like our sister and we hate seeing her upset. So please, please keep her happy. Don’t let her get so depressed again.”

            “I won’t, I promise,” I replied quickly. “I didn’t know it was like that. I thought maybe she didn’t love me anymore. I had no idea she’d think that, well, Hayley and I would actually be more than friends. I thought she knew how we felt about each other, that we would always be like siblings separated at birth. And as for the dreams….” I winced. “I didn’t know about the dreams. She didn’t tell me.”

            Garrett looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. “I guess I can understand that,” he sighed. “I mean, the way you look at Emily… it just screams love. I don’t think you could ever purposely hurt her.”

            “I couldn’t,” I said truthfully. “Emily… she’s my life. She always has been and always will be. I couldn’t live without her. When she’s hurt, I feel the pain too.”

            Garrett smiled. “I think that has to be the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

            “Don’t you know it!” I laughed.

            Garrett paused. “And I also think…. That I know what you mean.”

            “I think you do too,” I said after a moment of consideration. “Because when you look at Becky, your eyes are screaming ‘love’ too.” Garrett blushed.

            “I do feel like I love her,” he said, his voice drifting off. “But I’m afraid…”

            “Of love?” I asked. He nodded. “It can be really frightening, but when you’ll know when it’s legit. Trust me.”

            “I hope so,” Garrett said. “I mean, I’ve had a lot of bad break-ups. I thought I knew love but I just ended up being betrayed half the time. But what scared me most was that, whenever I broke up with someone, it didn’t shake me that much. Sure, I’d be sad and stuff. There were times when I was just pissed off and dejected, though that’s mostly when it was the girls that I thought were so amazing but ended up back-stabbing me. And I’ve grown up with so many families falling apart. I just kind of got scared of love after a while.”

            “That’s understandable,” I said.

            “But you know what?” Garrett asked.

            “What?”

            “With all those other girls, I never really felt what ‘love’ has been made out to be like. I used to think love was all hype, that no one could ever really experience those picture-perfect love stories. But… it’s different with Becky. It’s pretty much like what you say about Emily.”

            “That you can’t live without her? That when she’s hurt, so are you?”     

            “Yeah, exactly,” he said with a smile. “I never want to be away from her. I do love Becky.”

            I was about to speak when I heard the door swish open. Garrett stiffened as Emily and Becky walked in, holding their drinks in their hands. Becky was clutching a Starbucks bag, smiling contentedly. Emily looked ashen-faced as she repeatedly glanced between Garrett and Becky.

            “Hey guys,” Becky said. “We brought lemon bars and cookies.”

            “Sounds delish,” Garrett said, smiling warmly at Becky. Emily let out a slight whimper that only I heard. I waved at her, getting her attention before patting the space next to me. She smiled weakly before sitting. She rested her head on my shoulder as I slung my arm around her waist. I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

            “All right, spill,” I said. “How much did you hear?”

            “Just the part where he declared his love,” she hissed back. I sighed.

            “Don’t tell,” I pleaded.

            “I wasn’t going to, but I’m really worried now,” she whined.

            “Why?”

            “They’re going so fast,” she whispered back. “That’s what I had to talk to her about. She glanced over at the couple, wincing slightly as Garrett fed Becky a bite of cookie. She giggled as he accidentally smashed it into her mouth. Garrett apologized hurriedly, brushing crumbs off of her. There was such caring in his eyes.

            “I think they’re fine,” I argued, making sure they couldn’t hear us talking. “We didn’t take long to figure out we loved each other, after all. And we’re working out quite nicely if I do say so myself.”

            “True,” she smiled. “I just don’t want them to go too fast, Josh. I mean they’re not even out of their teens yet!”

            “It’ll be okay, Em,” I groaned, a little too loudly.

            “What will be okay?” Becky asked us through a mouthful of cookie.

            “Nothing,” Emily and I said quickly. Becky gave us a strange look but ignored our outburst.

            “Look, you trust Becky, don’t you?” I asked Emily when Becky had turned away. Emily nodded. “Then relax. It’ll all work out.”

            “I hope so,” Emily sighed. I planted a kiss on her forehead, making her smile.

            “I love you,” I whispered.

            “I know,” she giggled. I pouted until she sighed. “Fine, fine. I love you too.”

            “You better.” She snickered. We sat in a contented silence as Becky and Garrett played around with their food. The looks they shared and the few words they used had such an air of togetherness to them. I sighed, echoing Emily’s thoughts. I really did hope they would work out.