Hunter Burgan Analyzes This ... Miley Cyrus and Notorious Big, A Loaf Of Bread and Pete Wentz's Puppies

What's in a picture? A story? A conversation, perhaps? A bowl of oatmeal? If the latter is true, then I'm getting ripped off! I get sent thousands of pictures every week and I never get oatmeal! Maybe next week... Until then, I'm going to stick with what I know: picture analysis. I can find the hidden meaning in almost any picture. If you don't believe me, believe me, you are wrong. If you believe me, you're wrong.

The Old Bread Scam

Photo Credit: xris

"I love bread!!"
"I'll give you five dollars if you can put that whole loaf of bread in your mouth."
"You don't think I can do it?"
"Nope."
"Make it twenty."
"You got it."
"..."
"..."
[nom nom nom]
"I win!"
"Fine...here's your twenty bucks, kid...now get lost!"



"I Got Miley Eatin' Out My Palm"
I finally found the lyrics to this Biggie/Miley collaboration that was recorded in 1992, strangely enough, the same year Miley was born. She had a great voice as a baby. However, Biggie's lyrics are just downright creepy. You judge for yourself:

"Bitches in the back looking righteous
Miley's in a tight dress, I think I might just
Hit her with a little Biggie 101, How to tote a gun
And have fun with Jamaican rum
Conversations, blunts in rotation
My man Big Jacques got the glock in his waist and
we're smoking, drinking, got the hooker Miley thinking
If money smell bad than this nigga Biggie stinking
Is it my charm? I got Miley eatin' out my palm
She grabbed my arm and said "Let's leave calm"
I'm hittin' skins again
Rolled up another blunt, bought a Heineken
Niggaz start to loke out, a kid got choked out
Blows was thrown and a fucking fight broke out
Can't we just all get along?
So I can put hickies on her chest like Li'l Shawn
Get her pissy drunk off of Don Perrignon
And it's on, and I'm gone
that's that."

License to Drive Home

Photo Credit: Pete Wentz

Is this a scene from The Incredible Journey part 6 when they finally hot wired that sedan? I remember the pony drove, but she's probably cropped out of the photo. Now that I look closer, this might have been a "behind the scenes" photo from the pony's blog. I remember she was blogging a lot during the filming of the movie. I know what you're thinking, and no, ponies can't legally drive. That's why they attach the car to the back of a flatbed truck. They can mount cameras on the truck and shoot from various angles so it looks like the pony is driving. I see this sort of thing in Los Angeles all the time. It's just one of the many benefits of living in the movie capital of the world!

Check back each week for more analytical ephemera. If you have suggestions of photos you would like me to analyze, email them to yourself and Bcc me. If you didn't read the last Analyze This, you missed a classic. It featured R-Pattz and K-Stew!! If you missed any of the prior weeks, you can travel back in time by looking in my journal section. Why not take a few minutes to read every single one? Lastly, commentary is accepted and expected. And it's on, and I'm gone. That's that.