memory Blog and Journals

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*I can't think of a title cause I'm tired as hell <3*
-Alltimelowismylove331

Two weeks went by and Alex and I were still on our way back up.
He held my hand as we looked up at the stars from a blanket in the grass.

"Six feet under the stars." Alex sang lowly.
I smiled and Alex turned to face me.
"You know what I just realized?" he asked.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"We've been through a LOT of shit."
"Really? I didn't notice!" I said sarcastically.
He chuckled.
"Well we have! I mean...we've been at it since we were 16." he raised his eyebrows.
"I know this!" I giggled. "I have known this." 
"I've known it but it just sort of kicked in right now."
"You're such a retard." I shook my head.
"Your retard!" He kissed my cheek.
His eyes drifted to my stomach.
"Kori what happened?" he asked worried and pulled my shirt up a little bit, revealing the horizontal scar on my abdomen. "Is that from...the baby?" he asked.
I bit my lip and nodded. "The delivery was becoming dificult so they performed a c-section."
"I still haven't killed Matt for that." he said angrily.
"Oh so you care now?" I raised my eyebrow.
He huffed. "Stop giving me this guilt trip! I already feel guilty enough! I mean, I left you fucking pregnant...twice!"
"Well how do you expect me to talk about it without giving you a guilt trip? It's not like I'm trying to. It's not like I wanted it all to happen." I sat up and crossed my arms.

"Hey." he said softly and stroked my face. "I'm sorry."
"I know you are." I sighed.
"I don't know what else to say I-"
"Don't say anything. It was the past. Two years ago. Can we just leave it alone?" I asked irritated.
He cupped my face. "Gladly." he said and kissed my lips.
He layed me down, not break the kiss, and played with the hem of my shirt.
He slid it off and I took his off as well.
He fiddled with my jean button, never ending the kiss.
"Are we really about to have sex in a field?" I asked against his lips.
He undid the button and laughed.
"I'll take that as a yes."

--------

"Wow guys. Real classy." Zack laughed.
I rubbed my eyes.
Instead of being on top of the blanket, Alex and I were under it, laying down on the dew covered grass...naked.
"I can't beleive we did that." I whispered.
Alex chuckled and grabbed his clothes, dressing himself under the blanket. I followed suit.
"It was worth it Kor." he kissed my forehead.
We walked back to the bus.
"Where have you two been?" Trish raised an eyebrow.
"We were just...outside." I tried not to smile.
"All night?" Ashlee giggled.
I scoffed and changed.
Alex went to go do soundcheck while Ashlee and I walked to the stage to take pictures.
"So are you happy?" she smiled.
I smiled back. "Very."
"You two make a cute couple."
"Thank you. I just don't think that I could trust him as much as I used to."
"That's understandable. He didn't talk to you for two years. If you give it some time, it'll come back."
I nodded as we reached the stage.
"What if you two got married?" she awhed.
I choked on my water. "Married?"
She nodded.
"Ashlee that won't happen any time soon if ever." I shook my head and started snapping pictures.
"Just a thought." she sighed.

Alex and I were just reunited.
Marriage was out of the question.

"So Ashlee was talking to me today." I sighed as we walked towards our bus again.
Alex draped his arm around my shoulder. "Yeah?"
"She was talking about us getting married."
He chuckled. "Married? That's quite a large leap from not talking for two years."
I nodded.
"And plus, who wants to get married?"
"Zack and Trish." I said defensively.
"Well he's throwing his own life away. Now it's going to be filled with china plates and granny panties."
My heart sank. Yeah marriage was out of the quiestion...for now...but that was harsh.
"So that's what you think about marriage?" I looked at him.
He shrugged. "I mean there's no fun in marriage."
"What? No fun as in no cheating and sleeping with numerous girls?" I said defensively.
Alex sighed "Kor no. I didn't mean for it to seem like that it's just that I don't like the fact of being tied down."
"A.K.A you don't like the fact of being a one-woman man." I scoffed.
"Kori will you stop?" he asked, hurt. "I know that I became a dickhead, manwhore, whatever you want to call me. But I'm happy where we are now and I'd perfer us not talking about a topic like marriage."
"Fine." I sighed, agreeing.
He kissed my cheek.

We walked on to the bus, seeing Jack and Rian play rockband.
"Rian sucks balls at Rockband drums." Jack laughed as he shredded the plastic guitar on expert.
Rian tapped hesitantly on the colorful drums. "I have no hand-eye coordination what-so-ever." he admitted.
Alex shook his head and led me to the bunks, pulling me into his.
"What are we doing?" I asked.
"Cuddling, my number two hobbie."
"What's number one?" I asked, expecting an answer like sex or making out.
"Animal cracker sex."
"Dork." I shook my head.
"You can't even say that you haven't made animal cracker sex." he chuckled.
"Yes I can. Because, I'm not a freak like you!"
He shrugged and laughed.
"So only two weeks left of tour?" I asked sadly.
He nodded. "We'll figure something out. I pro-"
"Don't promise me anything please."
"Kori why?"
"Because I don't think I could take getting my hopes up and then having thiem crushed."
He cringed. "I can't beleive that I caused this insecurity. I am such a horrible person."
"You're not a horrible person." I shook my head.
"Yes I am. I cause all of this shit between us since highschool."
"If you were a horrible person we wouldn't be cuddling, together, in your bunk. I'd be sitting in my apartment with Ashlee sorting out photographs."
He sighed, then broke the seriousness. "Is your life really that boring in California?"
"Shut up! Sorry I'm not a rockstar." I giggled.
He smiled and kissed my lips.

But, to be honest, I was scared of what would happen when the two weeks ran out.

*Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Guys I'm sorry its been so long. I've had work ugh! But hey I got meh first paycheck today what whaaaat. But anyways I'm soo soooo sorry it's been like three weeks since I updated. But this is about to get better. This was kind of just a bad filler. Drama is comingg. BUZZ and COMMENT! Please (: Feedback helps me update! Love you guys a ton. <33333*
OH and for Alex Gaskarth Must Die! I just read the last chapter and I know alot of you guys like it, but i dont. I dont like where it was headed so I'm rewriting chapter 12! Don't hate (: