memory Blog and Journals

whats everybodys best memory from warped tour

mine would def have to be from this year it wasnt so much what bands i saw or who i met i had just got done taking pics of the ataris and i was walking back by the maine just in time to see them start to play "into your arms" and at the end of the song john brought one of his friends on stage ..along with the guys girlfriend and he ended up doing this little speech and proposed to his girlfriend BY FAR one of the cutest things i have ever seen she started crying the crowd was going crazy....saw a few girls in the audience crying....its was so special i'll never forget that!

by the was if anybody has a video of this i want to see it! cause i've looked on youtube and cant find it it was in dallas, tx july 5

and then my other fav was back in 2006 (also in dallas) Saosin was playing "seven years" and justin decides to swing his guitar around his shoulder (seven times) WELL little did he know his strap was loose! The stap come OUT of the guitar and flew off stage almost hitting the security guard and me! scary but also funny cause justin just stood there in horror haha

SO WHAT'S BEEN YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY?!

[[read memo at the bottom]]
*I can't think of a title cause I'm tired as hell <3*
-Alltimelowismylove331

Two weeks went by and Alex and I were still on our way back up.
He held my hand as we looked up at the stars from a blanket in the grass.

"Six feet under the stars." Alex sang lowly.
I smiled and Alex turned to face me.
"You know what I just realized?" he asked.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"We've been through a LOT of shit."
"Really? I didn't notice!" I said sarcastically.
He chuckled.
"Well we have! I mean...we've been at it since we were 16." he raised his eyebrows.
"I know this!" I giggled. "I have known this." 
"I've known it but it just sort of kicked in right now."
"You're such a retard." I shook my head.
"Your retard!" He kissed my cheek.
His eyes drifted to my stomach.
"Kori what happened?" he asked worried and pulled my shirt up a little bit, revealing the horizontal scar on my abdomen. "Is that from...the baby?" he asked.
I bit my lip and nodded. "The delivery was becoming dificult so they performed a c-section."
"I still haven't killed Matt for that." he said angrily.
"Oh so you care now?" I raised my eyebrow.
He huffed. "Stop giving me this guilt trip! I already feel guilty enough! I mean, I left you fucking pregnant...twice!"
"Well how do you expect me to talk about it without giving you a guilt trip? It's not like I'm trying to. It's not like I wanted it all to happen." I sat up and crossed my arms.

"Hey." he said softly and stroked my face. "I'm sorry."
"I know you are." I sighed.
"I don't know what else to say I-"
"Don't say anything. It was the past. Two years ago. Can we just leave it alone?" I asked irritated.
He cupped my face. "Gladly." he said and kissed my lips.
He layed me down, not break the kiss, and played with the hem of my shirt.
He slid it off and I took his off as well.
He fiddled with my jean button, never ending the kiss.
"Are we really about to have sex in a field?" I asked against his lips.
He undid the button and laughed.
"I'll take that as a yes."

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"Wow guys. Real classy." Zack laughed.
I rubbed my eyes.
Instead of being on top of the blanket, Alex and I were under it, laying down on the dew covered grass...naked.
"I can't beleive we did that." I whispered.
Alex chuckled and grabbed his clothes, dressing himself under the blanket. I followed suit.
"It was worth it Kor." he kissed my forehead.
We walked back to the bus.
"Where have you two been?" Trish raised an eyebrow.
"We were just...outside." I tried not to smile.
"All night?" Ashlee giggled.
I scoffed and changed.
Alex went to go do soundcheck while Ashlee and I walked to the stage to take pictures.
"So are you happy?" she smiled.
I smiled back. "Very."
"You two make a cute couple."
"Thank you. I just don't think that I could trust him as much as I used to."
"That's understandable. He didn't talk to you for two years. If you give it some time, it'll come back."
I nodded as we reached the stage.
"What if you two got married?" she awhed.
I choked on my water. "Married?"
She nodded.
"Ashlee that won't happen any time soon if ever." I shook my head and started snapping pictures.
"Just a thought." she sighed.

Alex and I were just reunited.
Marriage was out of the question.

"So Ashlee was talking to me today." I sighed as we walked towards our bus again.
Alex draped his arm around my shoulder. "Yeah?"
"She was talking about us getting married."
He chuckled. "Married? That's quite a large leap from not talking for two years."
I nodded.
"And plus, who wants to get married?"
"Zack and Trish." I said defensively.
"Well he's throwing his own life away. Now it's going to be filled with china plates and granny panties."
My heart sank. Yeah marriage was out of the quiestion...for now...but that was harsh.
"So that's what you think about marriage?" I looked at him.
He shrugged. "I mean there's no fun in marriage."
"What? No fun as in no cheating and sleeping with numerous girls?" I said defensively.
Alex sighed "Kor no. I didn't mean for it to seem like that it's just that I don't like the fact of being tied down."
"A.K.A you don't like the fact of being a one-woman man." I scoffed.
"Kori will you stop?" he asked, hurt. "I know that I became a dickhead, manwhore, whatever you want to call me. But I'm happy where we are now and I'd perfer us not talking about a topic like marriage."
"Fine." I sighed, agreeing.
He kissed my cheek.

We walked on to the bus, seeing Jack and Rian play rockband.
"Rian sucks balls at Rockband drums." Jack laughed as he shredded the plastic guitar on expert.
Rian tapped hesitantly on the colorful drums. "I have no hand-eye coordination what-so-ever." he admitted.
Alex shook his head and led me to the bunks, pulling me into his.
"What are we doing?" I asked.
"Cuddling, my number two hobbie."
"What's number one?" I asked, expecting an answer like sex or making out.
"Animal cracker sex."
"Dork." I shook my head.
"You can't even say that you haven't made animal cracker sex." he chuckled.
"Yes I can. Because, I'm not a freak like you!"
He shrugged and laughed.
"So only two weeks left of tour?" I asked sadly.
He nodded. "We'll figure something out. I pro-"
"Don't promise me anything please."
"Kori why?"
"Because I don't think I could take getting my hopes up and then having thiem crushed."
He cringed. "I can't beleive that I caused this insecurity. I am such a horrible person."
"You're not a horrible person." I shook my head.
"Yes I am. I cause all of this shit between us since highschool."
"If you were a horrible person we wouldn't be cuddling, together, in your bunk. I'd be sitting in my apartment with Ashlee sorting out photographs."
He sighed, then broke the seriousness. "Is your life really that boring in California?"
"Shut up! Sorry I'm not a rockstar." I giggled.
He smiled and kissed my lips.

But, to be honest, I was scared of what would happen when the two weeks ran out.

*Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Guys I'm sorry its been so long. I've had work ugh! But hey I got meh first paycheck today what whaaaat. But anyways I'm soo soooo sorry it's been like three weeks since I updated. But this is about to get better. This was kind of just a bad filler. Drama is comingg. BUZZ and COMMENT! Please (: Feedback helps me update! Love you guys a ton. <33333*
OH and for Alex Gaskarth Must Die! I just read the last chapter and I know alot of you guys like it, but i dont. I dont like where it was headed so I'm rewriting chapter 12! Don't hate (:

 

The last few days have been kinda difficult.

As you all know, an Air France Airbus crashed into the ocean on the way from Rio de Janeiro to Paris. Yesterday morning the message reached me, that a dear working colleague and friend was aboard. Juliana de Aquino, a singer with a beautiful voice and a strong determination was on her way back to Germany after visiting her Paris in her hometown. The cruel irony was, that she hated flying like nothing else in this world. Her strong spirit, her voice and her beauty will be dearly missed. Today I need you all to pray for a beautiful soul. I hope, she's somewhere, and I am quoting a friend, singing like she never sang before.

There's no pattern, no fairness and no justice to whatever happens in life. It is what it is. So remember people, you never know, how much time you have. Start living today and don't wait for tomorrow, coz tomorrow might be just a little bit to late.

Much luv to all of you out there and please help me pray for her.

xX A.

Greetings!Spring marks the release of our third song this year - "A Melody, The Memory."  This song explores and celebrates the magical way in which music takes us back to those memories we cherish most, almost as if to relive them again and again.    Listen to "A Melody, The Memory" and make a donation to download the song at whatismae.com.   We are extremely proud to share our song with you!

So far, your generous donations have helped us raise nearly $24,000 as we partner with Habitat For Humanity to help build a home for Rhonda Floyd and her three children.   With your help, we will reach our goal of $65,000!  Read more about our year long project at whatismae.com and help us spread the word.  If you haven't already done so, please make a donation and download all three of this year's songs.  We encourage you to donate as much as you can with the promise that your donation will go towards our goal!

Much love,
*mae

This is still way shorter than I wanted it to be, but I’m completely out of ideas now.

Thank you to Amanda for helping me with an idea for this one. :D

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-Hayley’s POV-

Three months later, Josh and I were picking out paint for a new apartment. It was time for change. I needed a change; it was a constant nagging for me. So, one day, Josh had suggested moving in together.
I think I surprised him when I agreed to the idea, but he quickly got over the shock and began apartment-hunting almost immediately. It didn’t take to long to find a place, but it was definitely a boring apartment, as far as the wall color went.

So far, the whole move was very exciting. I felt like I had when I was moving in with Leila and Haley. It was like moving in to a first apartment all over again, I had this feeling of freedom and an indescribable sense of ‘oh! This will be so much fun!’

I watched Josh scratch the back of his neck as he compared paint chips for ‘limeade’ and ‘electric green’, trying to see a difference in the shades. I smiled at his confusion and pulled out more paint samples.

It amazed me just how much people were willing to put aside, or forgive and forget about, in order to be with the one we loved. If I had been dating anyone else, and he had done what Josh had done all those months ago, I would have dumped him in a heartbeat and completely forgotten about him.
But it wasn’t anyone else, it was Josh, my Josh, the love of my life. So I heard him out, and although he was wrong, I was somehow willing to forgive him and work to save our relationship.

Looking back, I realized just how right Leila had been. Josh was not the only one at fault, I had been a complete bitch. It was a drunken mistake. And yes, it was wrong, but I may have overreacted about it… just a little…

Josh and I weren’t quite back to where we had been before the whole Natasha-incident as far as our relationship went, but we were working on it. I was even letting him go down to the bar Friday night! Though, I secretly made Ajax and Jeremy promise they’d keep an eagle-eye watch on Josh and keep him away from anyone who looked even remotely feminine. It would take time for me to regain my full trust in Josh, but it was getting better. Things always get better.

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Ah! Its over now! Combo of :D and :( haha.

Time to work on MFEO II. ….I really should think of a better name than MFEO II… Nah. I like MFEO II, that’s what I’ve been calling it for so long now, that anything else would sound weird. Plus, I have a kick-ass banner made  by Amanda for it :D

Thank you SO MUCH for the comments/buzzes and for just reading my stuff in general!
It makes me happy. haha.

HUGE thank you to Katie (herewegoagain180) and Amanda (rememberthestars)! This chapter totally would have sucked if you two hadn’t helped me out! :D

I’m still not incredibly thrilled with this chapter, well, the beginning of it really, but meh. I hate the beginning of this, I couldn’t make my brain think of something better though… just so-z you all know. haha

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-Josh’s POV-

I pulled out a bottle of left over sleeping pills a doctor had prescribed Zac a few months back and a bottle of anti-anxiety pills I had been prescribed for when we were on tour.
I nervously uncapped both bottles and shakily poured the pills into my hand. How many did it take to overdose? Could it even be done with these types of drugs?
I knew I was being stupid but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I reasoned that it would be easier on everyone if I was gone, although that was probably not true.
As I raised my handful of pills to my mouth, I heard my phone ring. I grinned, thankful for an excuse to stall, and picked it up.
“Hello?” I said, not caring to check the caller ID. At this point, I was happy to talk with anyone.
“Hello?” I repeated as I heard no reply.
“Josh?” A small voice finally replied. My heart soared.
“Hayley.” I said quietly.
“C-can we talk?” She asked.
“Uh, yeah, yeah I’d like that.” I said quickly. I dropped the pills into the toilet and flushed it.
I heard a repressed giggle on the other line. “Did you just take a piss while you were talking to me?” She asked, unable to stifle the laugh now.
“Uh… yeah.” I lied, figuring it was better than admitting to what I had stupidly been about to do. I was already completely appalled at myself for even thinking of it.
“Sorry.” I added. She couldn’t seem to stop laughing. It was so good to hear her laugh. I felt a smile spread across my face and before long, I was laughing along with her.
“Come over.” She said between gasps for air. “We really need to figure this out.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in 10.” I said quickly.

-Hayley’s POV-

I waited nervously for Josh to arrive. I had no idea what I was going to say. I didn’t even know why I had called him. I just had this strange feeling and I had to hear his voice.
All too quickly, there was a knock at my door. I bit my lip and debated pretending like I wasn’t there. I shook my head, angry with myself; of course he knew I was home.
I stood up and opened the door slowly.
“Hi.” Josh said quietly. I nodded back at him silently.
“Uh, can I come in?” He asked after a few uneasy moments of silence. I nodded once more and stepped aside to let him by.
We walked to the living room and settled onto opposite ends of the couch, sitting as far apart as we could.
“I’m sorry.” We said together. I bit back a smile and stared at the floor.
“Hayley, I’m so sorry, I was an idiot. I thought I was kissing you.” He said.
“You were practically having sex with her from what I hear.” I spat back, still hurt. I saw him wince out of the corner of my eye.
“Anyway…” He said. “I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you, honestly.”
I sighed, “I know.”
“Do you forgive me?” He asked. I bit my lip.
“I guess.” I said finally. It would take a long time for me to trust him again, but forgiving was a step in the right direction.
“Do you forgive me?” I asked, fearful of the answer.
“For what?” He asked.
“For being a bitch about it all.” I replied. Josh smiled and laughed softly to himself.
“Of course. You handled the whole situation much better than I would have.” He said, finally.
“Hayley…” He whispered. I looked up at him. “Please… please don’t quit the band. I don’t care if you don’t want to get back together, well, I do care, I do want to get back together, but I’d rather have you in the band. I know how much it means to you, you love music. If you can’t stand being around me, I’ll leave the band. But you can’t.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it immediately and sighed. “Yeah, ok. I won’t leave.” A grin spread across his face. I forgot how much I loved his smile.
“Honestly, I don’t think I would have been able to stay away anyway.” I added quietly. "But, I make no promises as to how long I come back for." I warned. Josh nodded slowly.
After a few more moments of awkward silence, Josh spoke up again.
“What about us?” He asked.
“What about us?” I echoed.
“Hayley, I love you, I always will.” He said.
“I-I love you too.” I said quietly. “But I don’t know…” I turned to face him and saw his eyes light up.
“Hang on!” He grinned. He stood and hurried for the door, leaving me completely confused.

A half an hour later, he still hadn’t returned. I was beyond curious now. I wanted him here with me, even if I didn’t know where our relationship stood, if there was even one at all. Over the past month I had missed him like crazy.
I knew deep down I wanted to be with him again, but my brain kept overriding my heart with reasons why it would be a bad idea. It was obviously bad for the band, or would be if we got back together and broke up again, and I didn’t think I could handle another disappointment from him. But I loved him… and wasn’t love supposed to conquer all?
I sighed in frustration as a knock on the door pulled me away from my internal debate. I opened the door and bit my lip to keep from laughing as I looked at Josh. He had flowers sticking out of his coat, pants and other random places.
“I’m supposed to be a bouquet.” He explained quickly. “Last time I was a present, this time I’m flowers.”
“This time you’re an idiot.” I giggled and resisted the overwhelming urge to tackle him. His face went red and he pointed to a card taped to his chest.
“Read the card.” He said. I gently reached forward and pulled it off his coat.
“To Hayley, From Josh. I’m so sorry, I’m a dumbass. I love you.”
I grinned broadly and shook my head.
“I dunno.” I said teasingly. I had already made my decision. I was going to be selfish. It didn’t matter what it did to the band, being with Josh, generally, made me happy. That was more important to me right now than the band was.
Josh pouted and hung his head low. He pulled a rose out of the hood of his jacket and bent down on one knee.
“Hayley Williams, if I promise never to touch alcohol again, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked, dead serious face and all.
I was unable to keep a straight face, Josh always had more control than me with things like that. I laughed and nodded.
“Of course I will Edward Garden Hands.” I giggled. I couldn’t resist the tackle urge any more and I jumped on top of him. I smiled at the sweet sound of his laugher as he hugged me tightly.
“I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered as we hugged.
“I’ve missed you too.” I replied, a tear rolling down my cheek. He pulled back and carefully leaned in for a kiss. At the last second, I turned my head so he kissed my cheek.
“Fair enough.” He said with a weak smile.
“I don’t allow guys to kiss me before the first date.” I giggled. Josh grinned and wrapped his arms around me.
“Lets get on that date then!” He said. I laughed and pulled him into the apartment, closing the door behind him.
I pushed him against the hallway wall and slowly unzipped his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. I let my fingers run along his arms and chest so they could get reacquainted with his addictingly gorgeous muscles.
“I think I like this ‘date’ thing.” Josh whispered, shivering as my fingers brushed over his chest. I stood on my toes and kissed his jaw, just under his ear.
“Oh!” He whispered. “What happened to the no kissing rule?” He asked.
“I never said I couldn’t kiss you.” I teased. “I just said guys couldn’t kiss me.” A lopsided grin passed over his face and he pulled me close, digging his hips into mine.
“No.” I groaned. “No fair.”
“No rules against it.” He smirked. “Too bad for you.” He dug his hips again.
“Except for the ‘you kissed another girl’ rule.” I replied with a smile. He immediately stopped, worry written over his face.
“I win.” I smiled, turning and walking to my bedroom. “You coming?” I asked over my shoulder. He didn’t need to be told twice, and within seconds, he was pushing me into the room, slamming the door behind us.

Leila banged on the wall as things began getting heavy between Josh and I. We were still fully clothed, and I planned to stay that way, but it was still an unwanted interruption.
“If T and I can’t do that, neither can you!” Leila called through the wall with a giggle.
“What makes you think I’m not by myself?” I called back. Josh nearly died at the thought.
“Pervert.” I whispered to him. He nodded his head in agreement, lust clouding his eyes.
“I know Josh is in there, his coat is on the kitchen floor along with loads of roses.” Leila hollered back.
“Go away!” I giggled, turning my attention back to Josh. “And you, be quiet.” I added, nipping at his neck.

~*~

-Jeremy’s POV-

“Hey, can we talk to Hayley?” I said as Haley opened the door to their apartment.
“Sure, I think she’s still sleeping though.” Hales replied.
“Nice!” Zac grinned and ran for the sink and grabbed a cup.
“Zac!” I said sternly. “Don’t do anything that might piss her off, we need her happy.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Zac hung his head low, he quickly dumped a cup full of water down the drain.
“What’s up?” Hales asked.
“We’re asking, well, begging, her to not leave the band.
Haley smiled knowingly, “she may just reconsider.” She raised an eyebrow and wandered off to her room obviously knowing something we didn’t.
“Alright guys, look cute.” Taylor said. “Pull out the puppy eyes if you have to.” He joked.
“Hold up! I’m gonna warm up this brownie from my mom. Bribe by chocolate baby!” Zac grinned, holding up a delicious looking brownie, wrapped in cellophane. I rolled my eyes and pushed Taylor toward Hayley’s bedroom door.
“Hayley!” I sang as we neared her door. “We need to talk.”
“Go-way.” Hayley mumbled sleepily. At least I think it was Hayley… she seemed to have kind of a manly voice…
Taylor pushed the door open and threw his arms in the air. “Morning glory!” He shouted. “Time to get up!” He hurried to the curtains and pulled them open.
“Taayyyyyy.” Hayley whined. “Tay!” She repeated in realization. “Oh my gosh! It’s not what it looks like!”
“Not what, what looks like?” I asked, peering over Taylor’s shoulder. I frowned as I spotted a head of short, messy brown hair in the bed next to her.
“Hayley.” I started in my best big brother tone of voice. The guy rolled over suddenly, rubbing his eyes with his fists.
“What’s going on Hayles?” He yawned. Taylor burst out laughing.
“What the – Josh?” I gasped.
“It’s SO not what it looks like!” Hayley cried, face red with embarrassment. I could tell she was wearing a shirt, but Josh wasn’t. Nothing too scandalous about it really.
“Well,” I smiled, “we were gonna ask you to come back to the band, but apparently Josh beat us to it.” Hayley laughed and nodded slowly. “Looks like he was more persuasive then we could have been anyway.” She blushed furiously and Josh simply shut his eyes and rolled back onto his side.
“We didn’t…. you know…” She said quietly.
“We know Hayley.” I laughed.
“Oh hey! Look! It’s Josh!” Zac grinned and pointed as he finally entered the room. “I take if you aren’t really leaving the band then.” He started picking away at the brownie eh was supposed to be bribing Hayley with. I raised my eyebrow at him.
“Oh, right. This is for you.” Zac said, handing over what was left of the dessert to Hayley.
“I’m good.” Hayley laughed.
“Mine by default.” Josh mumbled tiredly, holding his hand out.
“Ah, a Paramore reunion!” Taylor laughed as he looked around the room. We all rolled our eyes and watched Taylor jump on the bed.
“Good to have you back Hayley.” I smiled. I walked over to hug her and ended up pinned to the bed by Zac.
“Nice tackle!” Taylor laughed as Zac pulled himself off of me and hugged Hayley quickly.
“Yeah!” Zac roared, flexing his arms and high fiving Taylor. Wow, he was far too energetic for eleven in the morning.
“Well, we’ll be getting out of your way now.” I smirked. Josh rolled his eyes, he was being unusually silent about the whole situation. Probably too tired to wrap his mind around what the hell was going on, he definitely looked tired.
“See you kids later.” Taylor grinned.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Zac cried as I shoved him out the door.
“Already did!” Josh called back. I laughed as I heard a smacking noise and a muffled ‘Ouch!’ Go Hayley!

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Ehfigrwuejaksd I cringed so bad at the beginning of this chapter. hahaha.
The whole thing is just like “BLAH! Here it is!” I feel like it’s really rushed and not nearly as good as it was in the beginning of the story with the flashbacks and such. But oh well.
And, after getting some insight from Amanda, I decided I will be posting a short epilogue. :) Hopefully ....tomorrow? or Thursday? We'll see.

:/ It gets a little better next chapter! I SWEAR!

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Almost over. 2 more chapters I think.
Enjoy.

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So, this is really short... I'm just gonna say it's chapter 16, part 2 because it still fits in with ch. 16 pretty well.
Enjoy

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