yesterday, i had an epiphany. seeing the music video "I'm Like A Lawyer..." was a sign that i need to get on the ball and help out, do something good and make a difference in someone or a group of people's lives. then i realized something.
i was born to help people.
pieces started coming together like a puzzle and i figured out my calling, my purpose, the reason i'm on this planet: to help others and make an impact. since i was young and can remember, i've always wanted to be a doctor and make sick people better. i'm older, wiser and now understand that not everyone that i treat will make it through their illness but that doesn't mean that i can't try my damnest to give them another week, another day, a couple more hours. granted, i'm only a medical assistant but that doesn't stop me. i worked in an oncology [cancer] and hematology [blood disease] office for 6 months and yeah, i had my shitty days but it was the best experience of my life as far as the joy it brought me.
i met so many patients and became close to most of them. they were older but they were the sweetest people in the world and you would never know they were sick because they were so great. now, two months later, i'm in texas and working for the school district. not in my plans but life works in mysterious ways.
last night, i did something i haven't done in years. i'm not a religious person by any means but i do believe in God and i spoke to him last night before i went to sleep, before morgan started texting again. i asked him to help me help others and save the world as much as i can. i know i'm not a super hero and i'm not nearly as cool as plastic pete or the real pete wentz for that matter but i was destined for this, to help. i don't care who you are or what you say, i was born for this. i know it, i can feel it in my bones and in my heart.
it's friday. monday, i'll be 21. i can go out drinking and wasting an important night of my life passed out in some bar while men feel me up and try to take advantage but instead, i've chosen to sit at home, listen to music and think of ideas and make plans to get my project started. Operation: Invisible CCH Kids is the name i've come up for it and on my white board at home in my room, i have a list of things i want to accomplish. i'm planning on getting a comp this weekend and internet is not guaranteed for quite some time [sorry friends] but that doesn't mean that i don't have other things to do. i'm going to make a buzznet and a myspace for the project [eventually, hopefully soon] to get the word around other than word of mouth. if anyone is interested in being a moderator/co-owner, please let me know. plastic pete is more than welcome to be a part of this and any other plastic fall out boy or action figure that wants to help this important cause. seriously guys and gals, i mean business. my resources are kinda limited but i'm gonna make it happen one way or another.
i am a car crash heart and i'm ready to make a difference.
