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Fashion Journal 4b: The "say" portion of my list.
(Sorry this took so long the internets went out... again...)
Ok, here are things every woman needs to learn how to say. I use the word “say” loosely. I don’t mean the literal act of speaking I mean the metaphorical act of telling. But things you should be able to tell just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
A lot of my opinions on things girls need to learn to say stem from the fact that I'm blunt and most people like that about me but I've been suffering under the yoke of an asshole for the last four years who has said it was a bad thing. But its not. Its part of the reason my boss and managers adore me ("you tell it like it is and don't take any shit") part of why my friends like me ("I know if I'm annoying you, you tell me") and most of where my humor comes from. Also, it means that I don't lie. I have, in alot of ways, reclaimed the word bitch. I view it as not a word meaning a mean woman, but a woman who is unafraid to say things. Inside of every woman is a bitch. She is not, as society would have you think, a woman who is worth scorning, she is the one who helps you kick out the dead beat, demand the raise and helps you to learn to defend yourself when you're being verbally or physically attacked.
So on with my LIST!
Do you want to go to bed with me in a language other than your native one (French doesn’t count, its cheating).
No.
Yes.
Want to buy me a drink/may I buy you a drink?
She obviously has no friends.
Honey that looks awful on you
*GA*
Ok, here are things every woman needs to learn how to say. I use the word “say” loosely. I don’t mean the literal act of speaking I mean the metaphorical act of telling. But things you should be able to tell just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
A lot of my opinions on things girls need to learn to say stem from the fact that I'm blunt and most people like that about me but I've been suffering under the yoke of an asshole for the last four years who has said it was a bad thing. But its not. Its part of the reason my boss and managers adore me ("you tell it like it is and don't take any shit") part of why my friends like me ("I know if I'm annoying you, you tell me") and most of where my humor comes from. Also, it means that I don't lie. I have, in alot of ways, reclaimed the word bitch. I view it as not a word meaning a mean woman, but a woman who is unafraid to say things. Inside of every woman is a bitch. She is not, as society would have you think, a woman who is worth scorning, she is the one who helps you kick out the dead beat, demand the raise and helps you to learn to defend yourself when you're being verbally or physically attacked.
So on with my LIST!
Do you want to go to bed with me in a language other than your native one (French doesn’t count, its cheating).
Patti LaBelle (and later Pink, Maya, Christina, Lil’Kim and Missy Elliot) brought to us the simplicity of this pick up line. “Will you go to bed with me?” (although it’s a very literal line and means go to the bed not have sex with me). But, everyone can say it in French? What about Italian? German? Icelandic? Iroquois? Yea. Sounds like fun right?
On there internet there are a plethora of translation engines, some accurate, some not. If you really want to learn the phrase, I suggest picking up a phrase book of your chosen language.
Or even better? Go there and meet some hotties and get them to teach you.
What you want.On there internet there are a plethora of translation engines, some accurate, some not. If you really want to learn the phrase, I suggest picking up a phrase book of your chosen language.
Or even better? Go there and meet some hotties and get them to teach you.
The “girl” habit of trying to make everyone happy , as well as the one where we don’t tell people what we’re REALLY thinking, makes this really important. Being able to say what you really want, from what you want to drink to what you was from your boss to what you want from your lover, is a skill we don’t use enough, even though films like to pretend we do.
This is not where I'm going with this.
Its not easy, its better to start small, someone asks what you want for lunch, don’t hem and haw and worry that ordering this or that will make people think ill of you, come out and say “Hamburger medium rare” (provided you can actually get one). Then work your way up from there.No.
No. Learn to say no. Learn to say it to bosses (“No, I’m sorry, I can’t work ten hours today”) to friends (“No, I think I’ll stay in tonight and read more Pride and Prejudice”), to men (“No, I would not like to give you my number”) and to lovers (“no, I don’t think I want to go out to dinner”). It is such an important word and just like saying what you want, this word has been stigmatized as something only a bitch uses, so, since being a bitch is ‘’bad” we as women don’t use it enough.
Yes.
Yes is another one we fear for totally different reasons. Learn the wonder of “Yes” to people. “Yes, I got the promotion”, “Yes, I am in charge today”, “Yes, you can buy me a drink”, ‘Yes! Oh got yes like that!” See how fabulous this word can be? In an effort to seem none too eager, girls are learning to shy away from this as much as no. We fear being assertive in the positive as well as the negative. So often “maybe” and “I guess” have replaces “Yes” in our vocabulary.
Want to buy me a drink/may I buy you a drink?
These things have lost meaning in our culture of “hey shawty let me hall’uh’achoo for a men-net” as a pick up line. So next time some guy/girl who you might think about conversing with says to you “hey baby what’s up?’ turn to them and say “Do you want to buy me a drink?” No, I’m serious, this works. A girlfriend of mine turns to guys who try to talk to her constantly and tells them to buy her a drink or a shot and by the end of the night has spent four dollars (her first drink) can’t stand up right and has an enviable black book.
So instead of accepting status quo, start saying to people “want to chat? But me a drink”. But here’s the deal, you should talk to him for at least the duration of you DRINKING that drink. Otherwise you just have bad manners.
So instead of accepting status quo, start saying to people “want to chat? But me a drink”. But here’s the deal, you should talk to him for at least the duration of you DRINKING that drink. Otherwise you just have bad manners.
She obviously has no friends.
Honey that looks awful on you
This is a delicate matter that we've all been through. You go shopping with a friend, they try on the season's hottest skinny jeans, formal shorts, tunic/leggins combo, step out of the dressing room and go "how do I look?" and everying inside of you wants to scream "LIKE A SAUSAGE WITH A RUBBER BAND IN THE MIDDLE!!!" but instead you go "it looks... nice" and your friend, thinking she has hit the mark, purchases said outfit and wears it out with you later that evening, you cringing the whole time. So next time you are put in that position just turn to her and go "you know, I think that ::blank:: would look so much better on you" and then help them find it.
Its a difficult thing, being able to tell your friend that something else would look better on them. If you two are shopping and she's going for the dreaded skinny jean (don't get me started), and you know she'll get a muffin top with them, grab a pair of wide-leg trouser jean and say "these are so in this season" (they are). If she doesn't have legs for the mini skirt, grab something knee length in a DIFFERENT COLOR and suggest the color would be flattering on her, that sort of thing. Shopping with a friend is not only a chore (sometimes) but also a sacred duty. You should not, nay, cannot, let her/him leave the store looking like a fool. Think of it as your own reputation on the line as well.
Its a difficult thing, being able to tell your friend that something else would look better on them. If you two are shopping and she's going for the dreaded skinny jean (don't get me started), and you know she'll get a muffin top with them, grab a pair of wide-leg trouser jean and say "these are so in this season" (they are). If she doesn't have legs for the mini skirt, grab something knee length in a DIFFERENT COLOR and suggest the color would be flattering on her, that sort of thing. Shopping with a friend is not only a chore (sometimes) but also a sacred duty. You should not, nay, cannot, let her/him leave the store looking like a fool. Think of it as your own reputation on the line as well.
*GA*
| Posted by Gwen Artax on 09/01/2008 5:18 PM | Visits: 33 |