kate Blog and Journals

so normaly this time of year i would be very ovver excited about christmas, but this year not so much. 1st Christmas with out my mum. and im not going to see her on christmas day because im not leaving my dad on his own on christmas day. every other christmas in my life my grandma has stayed at my houes at christmas but she isnt going to be hear this year either. so my mum is going to my grandmas houes and me my brother and dad are going out for a meal on THE day, then my brother is going to my grandmas so see my mum. so then its just going to be me and my dad left at home on Christmas day, which i think is going to be really lonly. normaly i dont mind it but now i hate everythink that says christmas is about being with your family because im not going to be, which makes me sad. so i hope everyone has a better Christmas then i will have. xx ps heres my shity christmas tree because we have lost half the suff we normaly put on and we lost the fairy. and my advent calander (yes i still have one even though im neally 18)

 

 

 

 

PRE-SHOW :
Of course, I'm running late to get to my cousin's house, my mom drives like a grandma. And then we finally got to his cousin...and he's not there, I had a key so we walked in and then we called him, he's a coach for the highschool down the street so he was running late. He got home and he said "William's not on til 7:30, it's okay if we're an hour late right?" (the show started at 5) and so I was fine with that(not really but he was taking me).

SHOW:
So we got there and Evan Taubenfeld was singing. HE IS HILARIOUS!!! We got in at his third-to-last song. Pumpkin Pie - favorite song!!! haha. loove it. and then he said goodbye and then this other band came on, they looked like they were high- well my opinon lol. so i went back to my cousin by the bar after they're set and he took me down the side so i can see and if he needed me he could find me. After like 10 minutes of waiting excitedly, William came on!! I believe he started out with "a sing-along" ....Classifieds. I COULD BE WRONG. Pretty sure though... He was pretty funny throughout the whole thing, he was talking about SNMC on his blog and he said "I usually don't get it up til Sunday morning" (he laughed) "wow, that's what she said" , he added. ---pretty much made my night. haha and then he meantioned Adam Siska and how he's in surgery :/ awuh ....btw he is the best batman! hahaha and then there was a "boxing match"(as he said) in front of me. Pretty entertaining haha. two girls punching eachother over tripping into them. wow.....! haha

AFTER-SHOW:
Okay, let me start out by saying, I'M SUPER SHY! Okay, well this night was the best night of my life. Only because, I met my hero, THEE William Beckett! I got to go back-stage and meet him, because my cousin's bestfriend is William Beckett's cousin and my cousin is also friends with William, so after like 3 years of mocking me by calling me from TAI's tour bus being like "yeah, guess what? i'm with the band" ...I FINALLY GOT TO MEET HIM! I was super shy and froze up but he was so sweet. I got to take a picture with him and he signed my ticket. I said thank you and he shook my hand, then he gave me a hug. I could not stop smiling the rest of the night. I'm like a 4 year old, I freeze up and loose all trace of thought, but instead of like ackward silence, he was so nice and made conversation. You could totally tell he was trying to be extra sweet too but he had that tone of voice, but I don't care, I thought he was so sweet. (I WAS SHAKING... NOT KIDDING!)

Embrassing or not - I owe it to Bryan and Mike. Bryan - William's cousin. and Mike - my cousin. & thank you William! (:

BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.


p.s. I'm super shy when it comes to meeting people I don't know and I'm extra superly shy when it comes to meeting people I admire, led alone, WORSHIP! haha.

One is to sort of symbolize my boy. Don't laugh. Cause honestly, if you do laugh or think I'm some crazy girl, then you can go ahead and say it. I don't care for one thing and I'll give you the finger. HAHA! XD

The second one is a friend that has done so much for me and has kind of taught me, well not kind of, she HAS changed my life and taught me so many things. I used to be this negative bitch all the time and didn't appreciate things or people that I had. I used to think that negativity was bad so I was going to shut it out completely. Not thinking with my brain, I did get rid of it. I then learned to realize that life is not perfect. Life is full of negative moments and I am sometimes negative myself. To judge someone upon the things they say and if it may be negative and not really on a positive notion of things then so what. Seriously, you have a life. Just live it. Everyone has their negative downfalls. Just move on and walk forward without going backward.
Yeah so I have kind of learned that from her to just appreciate the people and the things you have in your life. Things could be a lot worse. I could have nothing and have no friends. I mean that is pretty bad. Being alone.
I just know without her I wouldn't be who I am now and today at this moment. I know she will most likely think I am just speaking bullshit or she won't believe me but this is all from the heart.
She's the one that has told me the truth even if it hurts me. She tells me how it is and she keeps my head on straight.
I truly am glad we are friends again. I love you! :)



xxoo

I want to say that this time around, I think it WILL work. :)



She knows who she is. I'm just really glad to have her back and to become more close to her. I hope we can talk soon!!

xxoo

Cute actress with amazing look. She appears on so many events that is hard to track her trace.

 

I mean, isn't life just cruel? Here's my story, ok:
I was sick week before Christmas, than after I was sick again. I spent only 3 days in school, than another week at home and none of my medicines or shots worked ok so I landed in a hospital for 5 days. Next day I got flu at home ;o. So another week I'm not going anywhere. On friday I've got school prom. I have NO idea if I'm gonna go. To be honest I'm so tired of all of this that I don't want to go more and more every single day. It's so weird. I was waiting for it before. Now I do't care. Don't know what I'm gonna do. Anyway if I'm going to faint or sneeze on my own prom - I'm not going. I'm not strong enough from being in hospital. I'm not sure will it be good for me. Even though on the other hand it can be enormous regret.



PS. This week I love new Juicy Couture cardigan, Fendi's and Rupert Sanderson's shoes. Also Versace ring <3.   /Damn!/

I don't know how many of you people have seen this, I don't own Berth so I've seen the clip from YouTube. But anyway, this clip really made me cry, I was already covering my mouth and internally crying but when he said 'I lost my baby' I just lost it. I really think Bert would have been an amazing daddy, despite the drugs and drinking. I feel so sad for him that he lost Kate and it's hard for me to put what I want to say in words right now but just imagining him crying is the worst thing you can do after watching it, don't do it unless you are trying to have one of those weirdo sob fests where your trying to talk and you keep going 'heeuh!' even though your telling yourself, 'shut up you idiot!' Anyway, I hope Bert isn't in too much pain because of this and I hope Kate is happy with her baby where ever she is.

I've noticed, mainly of recent, that I am slowy becoming more and more of an optimist as I grow older.
Now, usually, this is something induviduals tend to keep to themselves, things that aren't really considered to be of interest to anyone else other than themself. But, on a personal level, I find it extremely strange to be transforming into a positive-thinker when the world we live in is becoming ever increasingly dark and negative as time goes on.
The recent dramas - between me and friends, education, spouses, family and other's dramas in which I always find myself dragged in to - despite having been hurtful and upsetting at the time, have truly taught myself a lot about...well...myself.
I've realised that it's the little things which can change my entire perspective upon a situation and that seriously random things can cheer me up extremely quickly. I've also come to realise that I shouldn't take to heart what people say when they criticise the actions I take in life as those people mean jack all to me, they haven't made a large enough impact upon my life for me to really give a toss about whether or not they approve of my actions or not. I'm living my life with the "If they like you, great I like them too. If they hate me, fuck them (in a non-physical way)" attitude, and I can guarantee that I will be on the way to bigger and better things, once the egits who don't deserve a second of my time are filtered out of my life.
I can only hope others lives are sorted out as soon as possible. Certain figures I consider to be heroes of mine are going through tough times of recent and I cannot bear to think that they are hurt or upset without someone there to truly be there for them.
All I can say is "Keep your head held high and your feet firmly on the ground. You are amazing, never believe any different about yourself as you'll only be false." and cross my fingers.


Apart from all of that swimming around in my little head this evening, I've also come to realise how much my two brothers really mean to me and how I couldn't survive without them here by my side. Daniel, Joshua, I love you. You have both been my inspiration over these past 16 years and I cannot thank you enough. <3

so i tried posting this jouranl awhile back but i lost it for some reason and i was sooo exhausted i didn't feel like typing it all back up but since i have time, i am going to do it. i have too much time on my hands.

here's a list of stuff i want for myself:

i want this shirt soooo bad! i am so going to wear this shirt when me and kate go to bamboozle. <3 i love it!

duh!!!!! enough said.

i want the blue bag of this and kate has the gold purse! i love it yet i need to find where i found this from...maybe it was urban outfitters. i don't remember. haha!

for the florida rain. i'll have to buy some of these. i love them! it was either this pair of the leopard print ones.

i love this shirt too and its my fave pic of the beatles! :D

i loved this bag and this is the bag i plan on taking everywhere once in florida. i am trying to save up money sooo bad. i just love this bag.

this is not actually for ME, its actually for kate since she is IN LOVE with this movie. i love it but not all that much to have a keychain. haha! maybe one day i will be. i just love watching michael cera in it. haha. ^_^

things for the apartment:

i love this towels. i want these for the bathroom. they are supposed to be some weird alien thing or something thats what the ad said but i thought they reminded me of ninjas. i like ninjas better. haha!

i love this light ficture!!!! i want to get this for my room and maybe if kate wants one for her room. haha.

i love these pilows!!!! i want these to go on the couch in the living room. sushi pillows rule!

this i want to be hanged up in my room. i find it sooo adorable.

i want these curtainsbecause they go perfect with my new bedspread that i just bought! :D

this is for the kitchen. i like it but i'm not sure if kate likes it...haha!

alice in wonderland shot glasses. i love them!

measuring spoons for kitchen even though neither of us know how to cook. i think we will be eating out more than anything. living on sushi 24/7!!!!

i loved these plates, they had a japanese feel to them.

fuckk yess!!!! a pink phone for the living room. <3

now to the artwork:

our apartment is going to be one giant carnival, kids playground, and art gallery combined. i am already loving it!!! wooo. i can't wait!

xoxo