jrock Blog and Journals

- Yes, yes. Well I guess that is something one can’t really grasp about oneself. (laughs) But really, about your Lyrics, they are not fictional, are they?

[They are not. My lyrics are non-fiction – all of them*. Somehow, I just don’t want to add lies within my lyrics. I just want to say real/honest things. I am only human, so there are things which I want to hide, however, within my lyrics I don’t want to hide these things and just face them, I think. Doing that though, I would NOT go about such blunt/weird things as how I got stomach problems and diarrhea. (laughs) Anyway, in my lyrics, I really only want to use words without any lies to sing.] (*Ruki is refering to his current lyrics. He has said in previous interview,s that he started to write about things happening around him more clearly from around the time of [Filth in the Beauty]. He said that songs like [Cassis] or [Reila] could be regarded more as stories and occasions seen in a dream, even though they might have elements of things that happened around him during that time.)

- Lies are a sad thing, aren’t they?

[Yes. It is sad to lie, because in the end, when you lie, you won’t be able to understand yourself. Although, it seems, there are lies that need to be told in the world, too…]

- It seems like it… I think you are someone, who is facing yourself rather directly still, when you look back at yourself at the beginning of Gazette and at the person you are right now, where do you feel you have changed?

[I think my heart has broadened as such. I think by meeting so many different people, this is what has come to be. I have more freedom (to let myself be more open) concerning that. It seems, as I can continue being in a band, my viewpoint on things changed. Back in the days, the feeling of not wanting to lose against other bands, was extremely strong, still, now I’m not so challenged by that (feeling) anymore.  Honestly, I think I would like our music to sell, but it won’t come to the point where I make music that sells. I think that is something that really changed. Good things are good and bad things are bad, that is just the distinction of it. There is no blurring this anymore. In a good way, I think I have become incredibly selfish (concerning that).]

- Have you gotten stronger?

[I have, in various aspects.]

- Have you gotten weaker also?

[No, there seems to be no part which has gotten weaker.]

- As a human being, when you are able to be more composed, you can also be nicer/more understanding with people also, can’t you?

[Yes, it must be like that. There are also things which I have settled with. I’ve gotten a lot better at controlling myself. In the past, if someone would yell at me, I would yell right back at them, but I am more able to control this now. Regarding to the case and the circumstances there are still times when I lose control, though. (laughs) I’ve not yet rounded that up completely. (laughs)]

- Well, but I think it’s also bad to lose one’s edges completely.

[I think so, too. However, in the past there have been quite a few edges to myself and I would just say things straight out (without thinking). I’ve really broken off a few things with that. Therefore, there had been a lot of judging by that, too.]

- For example?

[For example, I am someone who could never and still can’t understand the reasoning behind cutting oneself. Of course I understand how it is, when thinking there is no place to go and to be deeply troubled by not being able to do anything really. Still, I don’t understand the meaning of hurting oneself for that reason at all. I wrote about that in my blog once, it had been a really long entry, too. The reactions/opinions I got concerning those words about my objections (towards this), were pretty extreme. For me at that time, I had only written those things I thought, without lying. I had a lot of doubts concerning this. I am still addressing the things I have doubts about directly, but it seems that my way of saying them has changed from back in the days. In the past my wording would be like everything was just the same, but then, when people would get at me saying things like [What do YOU ever know about that?!] I would just get back at them with things like [Well, it’s not like I want to know either!].]

- Pretty strong…

[Probably. It is not the sort of strength, which is unnecessary, but fighting about things like that is of no use. That way, I came to think about these things eventually.]

- That’s all very difficult. Even as humans might feel the same kind of pain, one will never understand them 100% in their being, I think. You can’t just simply ask them to give their best like that anyway, either…

[Yes. It doesn’t matter whether you tell them you don’t want to know, or whether you tell them to be strong. There will always be people getting back at you with [What do you ever know anyway???] Nonetheless, I will always say honestly what I think about things I doubt, because I hope that people will stop cutting themselves, when I tell them, what I think. Therefore there is this harshness about it. It has happened that there are people who stopped due to that actually.]

- This is really difficult, because it is a very sensitive topic.

[Yes. However, having said this one thing really had been engraved into peoples’ hearts.]

- In that sense, compared to the past, have you become more careful about the words you are saying, then?

[Hmm…I don’t know whether I have become more careful with the things I am saying, I’d say I have come to think about the way I am saying them more. As I said, the way of my thinking hasn’t changed much, when comparing the past and now. If I have doubts about something, it’s the same as in the past and I am not saying things I don’t believe in, nor would I lie concerning my own feelings with the things I say. That hasn’t changed. Different things are different, and things which don’t match, won’t match. Certain expressions have a lot of power to influence things and I am not one to just talk according to appearance.]

- It is probably a special skill to reach a certain way of conveying things the way they are remembered.

[It must be. But I guess this is also one of the things I have grown to do.]

- It doesn’t mean though, that you are just up for a quarrel.

[Because usually, when you don’t think the way someone else does and say this straight out, you are certainly up for a quarrel. It’s not like that, however, thinking about conveying something and not reaching anything with it then, has no meaning, I came to think. I think I have grown up like that. Meeting different people, I have learned a lot about the way people are thinking, I believe. At least I could think so.]

- Yes, I understand. This is more of my personal opinion, but I myself, would get really disgusted by myself, when I was just complaining how miserable I was living.

[Ahahahahahaha]

- Like: [Well, how long are you planning on saying this? Who do you think is living in a good way then? What would actually be the thing to tell you you live properly?]

[Such as [I am such an awkward person…]…like Takura Ken-san. (laughs)]

- Ahahahahaha. Somehow I like that kind of roughness pretty much, though. (laughs) Making art out of one’s own awkwardness, well, but I am not saying that, it’s just himself. In that sense. Well, I do understand this kind of saying from young people and those who have not much experience in living, but when it comes to grown up people saying this without the effort of looking at themselves, I think it really has no meaning. For me, I can’t feel any sort of attraction towards them.

[Ahahahah, but I totally understand. I think the same thing. You shouldn’t say these things when you aren’t even making an effort, should you?]

- Yes yes! It can’t really be helped if the effort is not getting you anywhere. However, there might be a mistake in the angle from which you are looking at your own efforts then. Usually there is really no trick to it and I don’t think one hasn’t to live so far as to sell oneself like that, nor should one disguise one’s own way of living. When you think like that and chose your own way of an awkward living, then you should really say that straight out, I think.

[Ahahahahaha! Yes yes! (laughs) I totally understand. Really, I think so, too. (laughs) As I said before, this is probably the reason why I can’t really be interested / attracted to people who are not interesting. There are so many people in this world who are attempting good things, and on the other hand, there are certainly some unreasonable/outrageous things as well. Really, there are things you can only ask [WHY?]. I think, guys who are just living clumsily can’t really tell. This is just what I think, though. For me, even lying to myself like that would be absolutely impossible. However, I am able to spit all these thoughts out in my lyrics, all the weakness and all the helplessness. I think it is extremely important to look at that together with my own strength.]

- Being able to face these things through your lyrics might have rescued (someone).  Speaking of which: I case you would not have your lyrics to write, what do you think you’d be doing instead?

[In case I didn’t have my lyrics to write, I’d probably write a lot in my blog. (laughs) However, that would probably be a world of one continuous monologue. (laughs)]

- Certainly. (laughs) Then, how to get out of it?

[Hmm…how to get out of it, then? It is more like spitting it out. I am not that patient. I think this is still bigger (than a blog).]

- I see. So what is Gazette to you then?

[Gazette is me. All of myself. And just that.]

- What would you do, if Gazette wasn’t there now?

[I think, I’d still be in a band. If I wasn’t supposed to be in a band…well, I can’t think of anything. (laughs) Actually, I think I wouldn’t really be able to just lead a normal life like that. (laughs)]

- Have you ever thought about what would happen, if Gazette was to break up and cease to exist?

[No, I haven’t. Gazette won’t break up. I won’t let it. Therefore, I haven’t thought about it.]

- So there is no imagination towards a break-up?

[There isn’t. (laughs)]

- And about going solo then?

[I can’t see it. (laughs) For our band, there really seems to be no image of going solo.]

- And are the other members thinking like that, too?

[They do. I know that they / I would do it for a single project, somehow, though, it would all end up to be the same as with the band.]

- Therefore, it wouldn’t have any meaning.

[It wouldn’t, yes.]

- From here on, what would you like Gazette to express?

[I think if we could keep on expressing, what we are these days, it would be a good thing. The songs and the topics might change and the things I say and would like to convey might differ, however, being able to eventually convey everything we are, is what I am thinking of. We don’t want to calm down either. We won’t change from who we are now or who we have been in the past, we will still be doing the things we want to do with all our edges. Still, I don’t think we will do anything extremely out of place for us.]

- That doesn’t mean though, that you lost your heart for progress, it just means, that you would like to express who you are in a very natural way, doesn’t it?

[It does, yes.]

- In that sense, what would you like Gazette to be taken as? Well, of course when it comes to being interpreted, there are decisions to be interpreted by, but just as yourself, what would you like Gazette to be taken in as?

[Just as people see us. I think it’s ok, just the way they see us. I don’t really want to insist on anything. If people don’t see us as rock musicians, then it doesn’t really matter if we are not seen as such. It really doesn’t matter as what people look at us. However, I think there is probably a part in us, which can be seen as rock musicians. I, myself think, that the Southern All Stars (for example) convey a very strong feeling of rock artists. On the other hand, they are certainly more of pop-musicians, with music, which is very easy to be listened to, I think. And even though they might be seen as a pop band, I think they have a very rocky feeling to themselves. People think about such things very individually. How they take people in. Therefore, I don’t insist on people looking at us in a certain way, they should just see us as what they like (about us).]

- So you leave it to them?

[Yes. Lately, I really don’t worry about what people say to me about such things anymore. I’m not upset about it. Now we will keep moving on anyway and that’s just it.]

- In the past, have there been times, when you wanted to show the band in a certain way and the band to be seen in that way, too? Like a really die-hard image?

[There was. Actually pretty strongly. It had been a pain to build up Gazette from what it had been in the past to what it is now in its style. Aaah...but well… we did it, even though there have been things to regret, too.]

- hm? That you did it?

[In truth, even as we have been walking towards this style of now, we had been thinking about a different route, there had been feelings of heading in a different direction. Well, this regret however has become an extremely great experience, when looking at it now and I think it wasn’t for nothing. Because that had been, I can think about it like that now. I think it was a good thing. I can feel the difference between winning and losing with music now. Well, even as I talk about winning and losing with music only, I think it was necessary to disclose a bit about myself in that aspect. And we will continue to do that, as music is for us the one thing we would like to convey things with and the one we are best at. I hope we can continue to bring these things we need to say across like that still. Also, this is call including goods and photo-books and photo shooting like this and just all of it, too. Including all of that, is what Gazette is.]

- Simply all of it.

[Yes. All of it is Gazette. Therefore, it isn’t even a problem if people like us because the photographs are cool. The pictures aren’t music, and even if they are the reason why we are thought to be cool, it is Gazette in the end. This just makes me purely happy, I think.]

- In the past, you wanted people to acknowledge your music in the first place?

[Yes, I did. At first that has probably it. Of course, even now this is the most important point, I think. However, we have become a bit more open towards that now. Well, if photographs and goods and interviews is what we are, we have enough self-esteem to face these things without lying and have come to think that these things are (parts of us), which are not music. Moreover, as I worked really hard on things like the CD jackets and (the concepts of) photo shootings, I really come to like them.]

- I see. Often something bands are clashing together with is, when they are regarded as idols, these days.

[Ah, well we did, too.]

- At the time, when you had been opposed towards being seen as an idol, what exactly had been the things you disliked, then?

[It must have been a misunderstanding on our part as well, but for us bands aren’t idols, and attached to that word [idol] had always been that certain image of [pretence/coquetry]. That had been at a time when we really didn’t want to play up to that, and being seen as that would have been terrible. However, when you can think of this idol image not just like that, you start to calm down about it. Honestly, right now there is no stress (concerning that), and we can just believe, that we are able to bring across, what we (really) think / believe in.]

- From now on, what would you like to do with Gazette?

[Good question, what would I like to do?]

- I there a place you’d want to play at?

[As for a certain place to play at, there really isn’t one. I’m just happy to be able to play lives at any place, really. Compared to the past, the places I wanted to play at really aren’t present (in my head) anymore. Well, this is probably not the answer I should give for Gazette, when speaking of what we would like to do from here on. However, I just think, if we ever come to make rock music, will there be a time, when we can sell, too?]

- In Japan it seems, rock music hasn’t rooted much yet. Yeah, that’s what I think.

[How could it be then? Moreover, I still think we haven’t surpassed out sempais yet, it seems. Also even our sempais have not settled at where they are yet. However, if any band is ever to surpass their sempais and just be people of the present, the Japanese rock scene will end, I think. To achieve that, what could we actually do as Gazette? What could we want to do? I think, just keeping that in mind and practicing towards that is just as good. This year I had been at Kuroyume’s last live and I thought it had been incredibly great. I really like that band and came to like them all over, I think. Even though it had been their last live, they didn’t really play any of their songs which sold well. This had been a really contradicting feel, as it seemed so removed from the usually sensations of being Japanese. I really liked it at that place, though and I was very happy, that I liked them all over again. At that time I really wanted to be Gazette a band being thought of just like that. This was a very good motivation. I really hope to be like that. I think this is being a rock musician - as a band and as a living]

- Then lastly, as Ruki, what do you want to be like?

[I don’t want to lie. Without lies and without compromise, without losing my hearing to the things around me, I think it is necessary for me to keep listening to people properly. I will try to listen in all cases necessary and live my fullest to the nerves, I think.]

(Translated by kiniro_ageha on LJ)