Hulk Hogan Blog and Journals

 

...WHEN TWILIGHTMANIA RUNS WILD OVER YOU?

Hey to whomever is reading this.

 I'm new here to Buzznet just picking up how to use this site and soo on. I have a youtube account which could be doing alot better I just don't have time to post videos and keep up so I do try. Check it out if you don't know me from there. http://www.Youtube.com/BrandyKnutson

 

Hit me up tell me what you think.

With the creation of the group “I can haz mustache”, I was inspired to give a little credit to the most memorable and influential mustaches of my day. Because really, the mustache doesn’t make the man, the mustache is a man in and of itself.

First, My personal favorite mustache:

The Freddie Mercury

Basically he is God [ya know, or king] so there is no need to elaborate. The end.

Next, The man, the myth, the mustache:

The Tom Selleck

Besides, his appearances in most if not all of Tom’s movies, this mustache he been emulated many times over. Of course, in true Hollywood fashion, all attempts fail in comparison to the original.

One of the more musically inclined mustaches:

The Frank Zappa

Now, we all know that Frank Zappa was a composer and musician [among other things] but what he never let us in on was the fact that the real genius behind his work was the mustache. Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow was actually direct advice from the mustache. See, these are the types of things that always slip under the radar =[ However, I can't help but feel as though we should come up with a more eccentric name for him...

Arguably the mustache with the highest IQ:

The Albert Einstein

This picture and the hair are the doing of none other than the mustache himself. And just think of how infamous this picture is. Remember kids, always heed the advice of the mustache.

And of course, one of the toughest mustache of them all.

The Hulk Hogan

I know, I know. Hulk himself may be in the center of the ring one minute and “retired” the next, but the one thing he just cant quit: his mustache. (Ever wonder where Ang Lee got that line, now you know)

MUSTACHEMANIA!!!!

Cleary, a man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without sugar.

 

I know I’ve missed many notable mentions, but don’t you fret this is just the beginning. Feel free to suggest those you think uphold the makings of a memorable mustache. I will be sure to work them in : ) Oh, and here's a link to the group if you care to join. I suck at hyperlinks, soooorrrry =]

http://www.buzznet.com/groups/icanhazmustache/

So, this is one of those posts where you find out how lame I am.  Because I'm going to talk about:

a) stupid things from my past
b) my unironic love for brainrotting television
c) pro-wrestling

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlmen.  Last night I watched the season finale of the new American Gladiators series.




Now, let's get that a) up there out of the way fast.  See, back in my youth in the fantastic 1990's, my father, brother and I watched American Gladiators just about every weekday during the summer.  This in and of itself is nothing strange, I suppose.  I mean, we lived in a mobile home at that point (any "white trash" comments will be met with a kick to the groin), had really nowhere to go/nothing to do at that point, and really it was better than any of us getting addicted to soaps in my opinion.

So, watching Gladiators wasn't weird. 

My father then having my brother and I compete against each other gladiator style?  Possibly a bit strange.

No, seriously.  We owned pugel sticks.  And while chatting with my brother on AIM last night, I was reminded that we used to set up an Assault course in our living room and shoot things at each other. Under our father's supervision/instruction.  And I reminded him that we used to participate in "breakthrough and conquer."  Upon reflection, we also did the power ball thing, where you ran around sticking balls into targets and gaining points.

My childhood = not your childhood.  I hope.

Aaaaaanyway, back to the real Gladiators.  I remembered from back in the day they had names like Nitro and Gemini and Ice and Storm, so they were like the X-Men but without powers and possibly on steroids.  So, of course, the new Gladiators had to have cool names.  And yeah, there's Crush and Wolf and Justice (which is actually the guy's real name) and Venom.

Actually, Wolf even kinda looks like Sabertooth as someone pointed out to me last night:





And then there's Hellga.

"Hell"ga.

HELLGA?  REALLY?



I should add that last night she had her hair in braid pigtails so she really looked like the love child of Heidi and Nicole Bass.

Okay, so Hellga scares me. 

So does Mayhem.



To be honest, at first I thought they were being ground-breaking and having a cross-dressing Gladiator.  Then I realized, no, that's not what they were going for.

However, because I am a shallow little minx who constantly thinks about sex, I had to decide which Gladiators I felt were the most doable.  And I did:


Crush.  Yeah, I'd hit that.  Without hesitation.

(EDIT: My friend Zen pointed out that she might have a different definition of the word "hit" than I do.)


Toa.  What?  I like the tats. :(

And of course, I have to mention Justice.  You see, I thought I recognized him.  Turns out, he was a contestant on the last season of MTV's reality show Tough Enough.  He was actually the runner up against Daniel Puder who never actually wrestled a WWE match in his career as far as I remember.  I think he got shipped to OVW and was never heard from again because, well, nobody could stand the little asshole.

But Justice has put on a little muscle since then.




Speaking of wrestling, we might as well finally get to it:  Hulk Hogan is a host.

Yeah.  Hulk Hogan. 

Sorry, I know most people see him and think about Hulkamania, or the N.W.O., or Thunderlips, or Hulk Hogan's Rock and Wrestle but to me, he will always be this man.

Hey, still less bothersome to your psyche than the Ultimate Warrior or Kevin Nash comic books, thank you very much.

So yeah, Hulk Hogan is a host.  This doesn't surprise me or really shock me at all.

But Laila Ali?  What.  The.  Hell?

Did you used to have a boxing career?  A legitimate one?  I mean, other than the fact that you don't block your face (which really doesn't matter because apparently you hit like a mac truck).  But hosting American Gladiators?  Does this mean women's boxing is over and we can all go home now?  Charlton Heston cries in a movie and it brings down an entire women's sport?

(EDIT: My friend Zen pointed out to me that, in fact, it was Clint Eastwood.  Not Charlton Heston...or CHESTON if you're feeling saucy!)

Anyway, the show itself wasn't that important.  I mean, yeah, people competed and won and now they get to be Gladiators.  But what surprised me is that the winners are very small.  Especially the men's winner.  I wonder if they'll call him Speedy or Zippy or something like that.  Because really, compared to the other guys?  Small but fast as hell.

In closing: I'd want my Gladiator name to be Amazon.  Just for the sheer irony of a 5' 5" girl calling herself that.

I'd also like to hit people with Q-Tips for a living!

UPDATE: Ikkyg is awesome.

JOURNAL ENTRY #1

Ever see 2girls1cup??? I have some adbice for all you people. IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOU YOUTH AND DO NOT WANT TO BE SCARRED FOR LIFE DO NOT WATCH IT!!!!!!! If you have seen it and it does not affect you then all I have to say is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??????????!?!?!?! I am very very extremely bored right now and am craving a muffin, and you know what????!?!?! I RAN OUT OF MUFFINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, if anyone were to be kind enough to lend me thier muffin, I will forever act be loyal to you!!!!!!

 

dfvashigfiawekjfbgsdgfj

 

KEEPIN IT REAL HOMIES

Live.Laugh.Love

Lyrics?  Ok:

HULKSTER IN HEAVEN
read it in the papers, I saw it on TV.
I guess there'll be one empty seat,
When I wrestle at Wimblelee.
I used to tear my shirt,
But now you've torn my hearts.
I knew you were a Hulkamaniac,
Right from the very start (Right from the start)
Chorus:
You were my friend. (You were my friend)
I'll see you again. (This is not the end)
When the Hulkster comes to Heaven (Heaven, heaven, heaven)
We'll tag up again. (Again, again)
The world just lost another Hulkamania (A friend to the end, I'll see you again)
I wish Hulk's love could bring you back again.
You were my friend (You were my friend)
And I'll see you again (I will see you again)
When I climb back in the ring, I know we'll win this fight.
I wish you were here at ring side, to cheer me on tonight.
The spotlight now grows dim, and now it's not on me.
The prayers we've said together are still our garentee.
Chorus
You were my friend (You, were, my, friend)
I'll see you again.
(The world just lost, the world just lost, my friend, he's my friend)
You were my friend (You..... were)
I'll see you again (I'll seeeeee you)
When the Hulkster comes to heaven (Heaven, heaven)
We'll tag up again (Again)
The world just lost (Just lost) another Hulkamaniac.
I wish Hulk's love could bring you back again (Bring you back, bring you back again)
The world just lost (Just lost) another Hulkamaniac.
I with Hulk's love (His love) could bring you back again (His love)
(You were my friend)

I WANT TO BE A HULKAMANIAC
I want to be a Hulkamanic, have fun with my family and friends.
I want to be a Hulkamanic, have fun with my family and friends.
If you want to be a Hulkamaniac,
I can sure tell you how to stay on track.
You train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins too,
These are all the things the 'maniacs do.
Positive thoughts and positive deeds,
These are the things that make sucede.
Always be good to your family and friends,
They are the ones that'll be there in the end.
Chorus.
When you're looking for something cool to do,
Just good friends to be with you.
You better watch out where you hang out,
You might be judged by where you hang your hat.
Can you feel the music, can you feel the beat?
You don't need drugs to move your feet.
When a dealer tried to push on you,
Just tell him what you're going to do.
Chorus x2
Try to do good each and every day,
Don't give 'em nothing bad to say.
Always go swimming with a buddy,
Work real hard and always study.
If you want to be real real cool,
Don't be stupid and play the fool.
Get your education each and every day,
These are all the things the Hulkamaniacs say.

BEACH PATROL
I was walking down the beach looking for some action,
Had my radio set on a rappin' rock station.
Saw a girl drowning, sticking situations.
She wanted me to give her mouth-to-mouth recessitation.
Chorus:
We are the beach patrol.
We want to party, party, party.
We are the beach patrol.
We want to party, party, party.
We were cruising down the beach checking out the action,
Had my radio rocking to a heavy metal station.
Putting on some shades, trying to catch some rays,
When a caught the life guard messing with my babe.
Chorus.
Woop, there it is, woop, there it is.
You better watch out 'cause here comes my boyfriend.
Pump it up, pump it up, pump up the base.
Here he comes!
Woop, there it is, check it up, check it in,
You'll be six feet deep if you touch my girlfriend.
You know this home boy could lose control,
You just don't mess with the beach patrol.
Chorus
When you're hanging at the beach you can see so much,
Look all you want, but you better not touch.
Take it from me, don't lose control,
'Cause you're gunna have to deal with the beach patrol.
Chorus
Chorus (Pump it up, pump it up, pump up the base)
Chorus (Hey girlfriend. Yo dudes, someone call 9-1-1)
Chorus (Woops there it is, Simon took the baby, Simon took it, Simon took it)
Chorus (Yo dudes, woops there it is)

(Beach Patrol is the worst song ever written...srsly)
(all spelling and grammatical errors courtesy of Sing365)

Twinkling sprite Brooke Hogan, the daughter of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, was thrust upon the stage of world fame as a background character in VH1's unlikely family drama, Hogan Knows Best.

Evidently, Hogan knew something that every talent scout in America had missed: That his baby Brooke was raw material for pop-singer stardom!

Brooke's reviews have been less than unanimously enthusiastic, with a large portion of the populace dictating that her debut album, Undiscovered, should stay that way.

Brooke could use a little love.  So let's say something good about Brooke Hogan.

1) Brooke Hogan makes Britney Spears seem dignified and graceful.

2) Brooke Hogan makes Kelly Osbourne seem dainty and tuneful.

3) Brooke Hogan has helped female impersonators the world over feel that they are doing a great job, comparatively.

4) Brooke Hogan has been a tireless guinea pig at Tampa, Florida's Remedial School for Hair and Makeup.

5) Finally, we now know who would be the ideal girlfriend for Barney the Dinosaur.