garrettnickelsen Blog and Journals

Garrett

When Rachel woke up, I still had my arms wrapped around her, just like I’d promised.

“Hi,” I smiled, kissing her nose. She smiled and I lightly ran my fingers over the bags under her eyes.
“Garrett,” she frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I did it again.”

Flashback

While All Time Low was in LA recording their new record, they decided to come out and stay in Phoenix with us for a week and a half. I was totally stoked because it meant I got to spend an entire week with Rachel and got to earn Alex’s trust again.

They’d been staying for three days when Rachel and I finally got some alone time. We were sitting in my basement playing the really old Mario games, just like we always used to. She’d been acting pretty weird all day, but kept blowing it off saying that it was the heat.

She set down her controller and crossed her legs ‘Indian-style’. I put down my controller and turned to face her.

“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“But you can’t be mad at me.”
“…Deal,” it sounded more like a question.
“And you can’t tell Alex. Promise?”
“Promise,” I said carefully.
“When Alex and I fight….”
“Yeah?”
“I… cut… myself.”

Anger and fear pulsed through me all at once, eventually mixed with sadness. I pulled Rachel into my lap and pressed my face against her shoulder, hiding the tears that had escaped my eyes. She could feel me shaking and wrapped her arms around me, rubbing my back.

“Don’t hate me,” she whimpered.

I looked up at her, my eyes on fire.

“Hate you? I’m so worried about you! You have to stop,” I pleaded.
“I promise,” she said quickly, probably just lying to stop my worrying.

End Flashback

My heart sank and I pulled her wrist out from under the blanket. I looked down at it to see that it was covered in bracelets. I carefully removed each one of them to reveal three, somewhat deep cuts, all fresh.

I felt the tears forming in the corner of my eyes, but forced them not to show themselves.

“You lied to me,” I whispered.
“No,” her voice was feeble. I looked up to see that she was crying. “It’s the first time since I promised you.”

I sighed, my eyes angry.

“You’re mad,” she whispered.
“Of course I’m mad! How can you do something like that to me? To Alex?”
“I’m sorry,” she mouthed.

All of my anger seemed to melt away as I looked at her beautiful face. I pulled her into my arms and kissed all over her face, bringing her wrist to my lips and kissed it softly.

“If you do it again, I’m getting you help,” I warned.

I kissed her forehead and pressed mine against hers, my arms wrapped around her. She needed to stop hurting herself before it hurt somebody else.

Alex

“Dude, just talk to this Hannah chick and find out what went down between her and Rachel,” Travis said calmly.
“Good idea,” I breathed, getting up and heading off the bus. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and turned around. “What?”
“You stink, bro,” Travis said.

I cleaned myself up and left to go find Hannah. I figured Rachel was with either VickyT, Garrett, John, Gabe, or Macy, and none of them would let her leave their sight. Hannah was at the coffee cart and she didn’t look at all sad to see me.

“Hi,” she smiled widely as I approached.
“Don’t act so innocent,” I hissed, dragging her by the arm a few feet away. Jane gave me a nod, letting me know she’d take care of the customers.
“What?” she asked, all traces of innocence were gone, replaced with annoyance.
“What the fuck did you say to Rachel?”
“Nothing,” she said, yanking her arm out of my grip. “I just thought you would’ve told her about me.”

I saw a gleam in Hannah’s eye. Evil?

“Well she thinks something happened between us.”
“Something did happen between us, babe.”
“No,” I said, shaking her by her shoulders. She looked terrified and I quickly let go of her. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Go fix your relationship and leave me alone,” she glared at me over her shoulder as she walked back to the coffee cart.

I guess it was time to find Rachel. I decided to give her cell a try, even though she probably wouldn’t answer. It rang twice and, just as I was about to give up, somebody picked up answered.

“Hi,” she said, and it sounded as though she’d been crying. I felt my heart melt, happy that she’d answered, but sad that she was upset.
“Baby, I love you,” I said, so relieved that she was at least talking to me. “And I need to see you and talk to you and hold you.”
“Well I need to hear the whole truth.”
“Anything you want. Where are you?”
“Guess.”
“With Garrett?”
“We’re on their bus, come meet us here.”

She hung up the phone. I sprinted to The Maine’s bus and opened the door, walking inside. They were sitting in the front lounge, Garrett’s arm around Rachel’s shoulder. I was insanely jealous, but knew better than to get angry at him.

I guess Rachel saw something in my face because she got up and ran over to me, her arms locking around my neck. I thought I saw something on her wrist, but was too happy to have her in my arms to worry right now. My arms hugged her close to me, the smell of her hair filling my nose.

“I love you,” I whispered in her ear. “And I swear that nothing happened between Hannah and I.”
“I really don’t care,” she said quietly. “And I love you, too.”

I kissed her softly and moved my lips down to her neck, kissing and softly biting it.

“You guys are so cute,” Garrett called from the couch.
“Bye, Gare,” Rachel said pointedly. Garrett, still smirking, stood up and left to give us privacy. 
_____________________________________________________________________

Crappy ending.
Kinda short.

I didn't know how else to end it other than it being really, really long. 

           Mae and John were sitting outside behind John’s house. The only source of light was the back porch lamp. It softly illuminated where they were sitting. A few of their friends had only just left. Mae didn’t feel like going home yet so she stayed with John in his backyard.

The candle that had been burning before blew out. The smell of the hot wax was still in the air and the bugs were still repelled by it. Everything was quiet but their voices just talking about nothing in particular.

These kinds of nights made Mae happy to be friends with John. He was the only guy she knew well enough that she could sit with and talk to for hours on end. John wanted to talk to Mae; he was in love with her. Just seeing her made him happy.

John moved his chair to sit next to Mae. She smiled and scooted closer to him. John put his feet up on another chair across from him and settled deeply into his. Mae watched him and smiled. He looks so sleepy. Maybe I should let him get to bed.

“Are you tired?” Mae asked.

“No.” John lied.

“Yes you are. I can see it.”

“So, I don’t want to go to bed yet. I’m having too much fun with you.” He said smiling up at her.

“Okay.”

Mae sank down in her chair and put her feet up on the same one John had his on. He playfully pushed at her feet. She pushed back and they got into a little foot fight before settling and relaxing back into talking.

John reached over and put his hand on the armrest of Mae’s chair. She, without thinking, picked up his hand and curled her fingers around his.

“Your hands are cold.” John said.

“I know, and yours are warm. I’m just using you.” Mae joked.

“I like to be used.”

“Sure you do.” Mae rolled her eyes.

John started to rub his thumb into the back of Mae’s hand. Mae felt a little uncomfortable. Why does he have to take a gesture that means nothing and turn it into something awkward? She sighed and looked up at the stars through the screen over the back porch. I wonder what she’s thinking right now. Does she like this? John mused for a while.

After searching the sky for something that she wasn’t going to find, Mae looked over at John to find that he was watching her. He smiled and scooted closer to her. She smiled politely back and hid that she was nervous.

A moment later John laid his head on Mae’s shoulder while they were aimlessly talking. Mae didn’t mind it much but she would have rather he hadn’t put his head on her shoulder. She felt too much like she should be something more than his friend, but he wasn’t ever going to be that.

“Mae?” John asked quietly.

“Yes.” She sighed not making it a question.

“Do you ever think about that one night when we were drunk?” John asked like he was scared.

Mae didn’t know how to answer that. If she said no, she would hurt him. If she said yes, she would give him hope.

“Not a lot.” She said hoping that was safe.

“Do you think if we weren’t drunk…?” John trailed off unsure of himself.

“If we weren’t drunk what?” Mae pushed.

“I don’t know. I just… I wanted to know if you thought about it as much as I do.”

“Probably not. If I do, you know I feel differently about it.”

“Yea, that’s the problem.” John whispered to himself.

Mae heard it only because John’s head was on her shoulder. She knew he was thinking about that night at Max’s again and consequently she was too.

“I wanted to know if there was ever going to be a chance when we could do that and not be influenced by anything.” John said choosing his words slowly.

“I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know?” John asked sitting up and taking his feet off the chair.

“Because John, I don’t feel the way you do about me.”

“I know that. I just want to have a chance to kiss you when I’m not wasted.”

“So do it then.” Mae sighed.

“What?” John looked at Mae confused.

“You want to know what it’s like. You want to know if it will make anything different. So do it and see for yourself.” Mae said coming closer to his face.

John took Mae by her cheeks and pulled her in closer. John connected his lips with Mae’s. She sat in his lap and kissed him back just the same way that he was kissing her. John pushed his hands back into Mae’s hair. She put her arms around his neck. She was giving him everything she could so he could feel for himself that she didn’t quite like him as he liked her.

Slowly, John got the courage to turn the kiss into a make out. Mae tried not to cringe when she felt his tongue against hers. He was like a brother to her. This felt totally and completely wrong with the absence of alcohol. She pushed on and tried to be fair to him.

Mae pulled back after she felt like she couldn’t handle it anymore. John looked up at her, no emotion on his face. He was carefully keeping his thoughts and feelings inside. I really liked that, but that was my only chance. I know it was. It had to have been. He looked at her waiting for something to change.

She felt ashamed of herself for letting him do that. It was in her nature to bend over backwards for people. The only thing Mae could think of to make John understand and let him stop wondering was to let this happen. It was probably the wrong thing to do but she did it to make him happy.

Slowly Mae got off John’s lap and sat back in her chair. There was nothing she wanted to say. I’m such and idiot. He’s fricken glowing right now. That did not work at all. Mae glanced at John to see a smile spread across his lips.

“That was nice.” He smiled.

Mae didn’t say anything.

“If every kiss could be like that…” John trailed off.

“You’ll find someone who kisses better than me.” Mae said.

John looked down at his hands. He knew that was coming in one form or another but it still hurt like he wasn’t expecting it.

“How come you can’t see how much I want you?” John asked.

“I can see just how much you want me John. That’s what makes it hard. I wish I couldn’t see it.”

“Why? I’m not good enough?”

“You’re better than good enough. It’s just that I see you as a brother. Don’t ask me to explain how because I don’t know.”

“You have to know. It’s your thoughts.”

“I have to be getting home.” Mae said standing up.

“Can I walk you out?”

“No.”

Mae got up and left the back porch. She walked through the house happy that John’s parents had gone to bed already. She didn’t want to have to face them.

 

Another week passed and John was around much more than normal. Mae didn’t mind it much because John was her best friend. He was good conversation and he cared about her, which made her feel good about herself.

Tim didn’t seem to show any interest in Mae at all. He was back to the smile and nod when he saw her. Nothing special even happened after he took my stitches out. Why should I feel like he has forgotten me? He never paid any attention to me anyway. Similar thoughts ran through Mae’s mind all the time.

Garrett tried to be the best help he could to Mae. He spent many of his nights talking to her between their houses. To him she seemed like a lost little girl. He wanted to help her find her way.

John was over at Mae’s house in her room with her like always. Only this time he had a game plan. He wasn’t going to leave until he got something out of her.

“Mae?” John asked from her bed.

She was sitting on the floor sorting out papers for school.

“What?”

“Can you take a break please? It’s been an hour.”

“I’m almost done.”

“That’s what you said twenty minutes ago.” He whined.

“Fine.” Mae sighed putting her papers down. “You’re such a baby.”

John smiled at Mae when she laid down on her bed next to him.

“I like being the baby. You do what I demand this way.”

Mae rolled her eyes and put her head on John’s shoulder. He pulled his arm around her and held her close while he laced his fingers with hers. Mae didn’t care. Today this seemed nice and comforting to her. She snuggled into his side.

John’s confidence grew.

“I’ve been thinking again.” John said.

Here we go. Mae thought to herself.

“Mmhm.” She encouraged him to keep talking.

“Well anyways, last week in my backyard was probably one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. I kind of wish that I could have one of those nights every night.”

“John.” Mae warned.

“What? I’ve been trying for exactly one year, eight months, three weeks, four days, five hours, twenty-seven minutes, and three seconds to get you to like me. You can’t blame me.”

“Okay, that time frame is a lie.”

“Well the one year and eight months is right at least. The rest I made up.” John smiled.

“So what is this supposed to mean to me?”

“It’s supposed to mean that you will give me a chance, once single little chance at being your boyfriend. That’s all I ask for and all I want.”

“Let’s say I give you this chance, then what?”

“What do you mean and then what?”

“If I give you the chance, what will you do?”

“Be your boyfriend.” John said slowly like it was obvious.

“No, if it doesn’t work out...”

“Then I’ll stop bothering you because I’ll have had my chance and it didn’t work out for a real legitimate reason.”

Mae sighed. She knew it would never work. The idea that he would leave her alone was tempting. If she could stick it out for a month or two, then she’d be free of his pursuit.

“Please?” John asked. “It’s just one tiny little chance.”

Mae looked up at John. He was begging her. She sat up and moved to the other side of the room away from him. John got off the bed and got down on his knees in front of her. His plan was to beg until she either said yes or made him leave. Mae looked down at him.

Is he really worth a chance? Didn’t I say to Garrett that I knew we could have a good relationship? If this works out and there is no reason to break up then what do I do…? Mae had hit a wall. If there wasn’t a reason to break up then that would mean that she’d find something like a balance or a liking for John that she didn’t know now. If she didn’t then she’d be free of him.

“Please?” John asked once more.

He’s on his knees. No one has ever gotten on their knees for me. He really wants this.

“Okay, one chance and that’s it.” Mae said looking at John.

The happiness and the shock washed over him in waves. Did she really just give me a chance? He stood up and hugged her to be sure. She pulled him closer. He looked into her eyes and she didn’t move. He pressed his lips to hers and she kissed him back.

“Do I really have a chance?” John asked.

“I just gave you one. Are you taking it?”

“Yes.” John smiled pushing his lips back to Mae’s.

Mae kissed him back finding that she could like this if she tried. John wasn’t such a bad kisser. She just had to get past the fact that he was like a brother to her. The way he pulled her in and the way he touched her felt nice, but it was nothing special.

Garrett walked into his room at that moment. Out of habit he glanced across to Mae’s to see if she was there. He saw her and John kissing and he rubbed his eyes and then looked again. What the fuck is going on? He stared a bit longer and then walked out of his room not wanting to see anything more. He peeked back to make sure that was what he really just saw and then went downstairs.

He picked up his phone and dialed Pat’s number.

“Hi Garrett.” Garrett’s mom said as he walked by.

“Hey.” He mumbled not really paying attention.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, just trying to call Pat is all.” He said stepping in the back yard and redialing Pat’s number.

“Mmm what Garrett.” Pat mumbled into his phone.

He’d only just woken up. It was three in the afternoon and he was still in bed.

“Dude, I just saw John and Mae kissing.”

“Sure. You on drugs man? That would never happen in a million years. Well unless there was alcohol involved. Then it would happen.”

“No I’m not on drugs and no they’re not drunk. I swear to you they were kissing. It wasn’t like a make out either. It was like how a boyfriend kisses a girlfriend.”

“Boyfriends and girlfriends make out.” Pat said slightly annoyed.

I got woken up for this? Come on! It’s not even real. Wait, is this a prank? Pat rolled over in his bed and pulled the covers over his shoulder.

“I mean this was like soft and… cute looking.”

“You’re lying.”

“Get your ass over here then and see.”

“I’m going back to bed.”

“Pat.”

“Fine.” Pat grumbled and then hung up on Garrett.

Pat got out of his bed and pulled a pair of jeans on before walking out of the house. He got into his car and drove a few neighborhoods over to Garrett’s. He noted that John’s car was in front of Mae’s house. That sent a little shock of anticipation through him. Maybe Garrett wasn’t lying.

Garrett saw Pat before Pat could knock on the door and opened it. Pat walked in.

“Come on! They’re still in her room.” Garrett called over his shoulder as he ran up the stairs.

Pat followed slightly slower. Garrett was waiting by his door. Pat looked at him like there was something funny going on. Why is his door closed? Is this another prank? No! Maybe this is still the same prank, like they wanted to get me over here for this. Pat stood in front of the door and looked at Garrett.

“Go in slowly.” Garrett said opening the door.

Tentatively Pat pushed the door open wider and saw that there was nothing waiting to jump out at him or fall on him. He went into Garrett’s room and Garrett followed him. Pat saw John lying on Mae’s bed. He couldn’t see Mae, then he saw her arm come up over his side. Pat got down on his hands and knees and crawled closer to the window. Garrett did the same.

“See?” Garrett whispered even though Mae and John wouldn’t have been able to hear them.

“That’s so weird. How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know. John’s been there for a while. I came in here for a second and saw them making out.”

“Do you think they could have been dating before this?”

“I don’t know. The impossible has now become the possible.” Garrett said peeking up over the ledge of the window again. “He’s on top of her.”

Pat peeked up over the ledge to see for himself. Garrett wasn’t lying. John had rolled on top of Mae and they were in the middle of a kiss again.

Mae was slowly finding a way to slip into this and not be so weirded out. Her actions started to come naturally to her rather than her having to force them. John kissed Mae slowly and lovingly. He was still afraid that this wasn’t real or wasn’t going to last all day so he wanted to be as careful as possible.

“Man, this isn’t bad… but it’s not going to be good either.” Pat said sinking down from the ledge and putting his back to the wall.

“What do you mean?” Garrett asked copying Pat.

“Well it’s not good because Mae doesn’t see John this way. There has to be something else going on. Somehow John is going to get hurt. Then there’s the Tim issue.”

“What’s the Tim issue?” Garrett asked.

“Mae likes him.”

“So, she’s all cuddled up with John right now.”

“Yea, but she still has to like Tim. She’s liked him for four years… and Tim kind of likes her now too. She doesn’t know that though.”

Garrett stared wide-eyed at Pat. If Tim likes Mae now, what would that mean to her?

“So, Tim likes Mae?”

“Yea, he said she was cute and when he says that it means he likes her.”

“Shit.”

“Yea, I guess I should tell Tim.” Pat said picking at a scab on his hand.

“No, not yet. We don’t even know what’s going on.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious.” Pat looked at Garrett. “They’re making out on her bed.”

“Let’s just put Tim on hold and see what Mae has to say when John is gone.”

Pat and Garrett went downstairs and messed around for a while. They checked on John and Mae to see what they were doing. From what they saw they came to the conclusion that they were dating.

Garrett saw John and Mae leave in his car and they came back a few hours later. Pat decided that was a date. Mae went into her house and John drove away. Pat and Garrett ran up to his room.

Pat threw open the window and stood there waiting for Mae to walk into her room. Garrett pulled up two chairs and sat down in one. Pat stayed standing.

 

________________________________

WAAAAHHH?!?! Belive me... there's a twist comming.

 

(John’s POV)

After band practice, I headed home to get some well deserved rest. My voice was killing me. All I could think about was the guys’ comments about the night before. How I would do anything to get laid. How getting with Mara was stupid. How I should have just slept with Molly, heartache or not. I thought I could always count on my friends to tell me everything, while still being cool. Guess I was wrong.

All of a sudden, I heard a knock on my window. Whoever was bothering to knock would know that my window was open. The window slid open and a body slid in gracefully. I couldn’t quite tell who it was; I just knew that it had to be a girl.

Only a couple of girls knew that my window was unlocked at night. Rachel, but she would be with Garrett. Mara, but she wouldn’t bother me. She knew I was only after one thing. The only other option was…

“Molly,” I said.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” she said in the voice that was all too familiar.

“”Why are you here?” I asked her. My tone was a little bit ruder than I had originally intended.

“I missed you, babe. No matter what happened, you’re still the only one for me,” she said.

“Shut up, Molly. You know you shouldn’t be here,” I was really pissed at her.

“Ouch, that was cold,” she said, faking hurt.

“Seriously. Get out. You being here is only going to make it worse, and you know it,” I told her.

“Awh, Johnny, don’t be like that,” I hated it when she called me Johnny and she knew it.

“Just go,” I said. I heard her slide out the window. I knew she’d be back. It was only a matter of time. I thought back to that night.

Flashback

“Molly?” I asked her.

“John!” she said. It was like I was the last person she expected to see.

“What are you doing with this piece of shit?!” I asked. I knew my anger was getting the better of me, but I just refused to believe that she would cheat on me. Even though I had seen it before my own eyes.

“John, it’s not what you think,” I had heard that before.

“So you weren’t just blowing this stupid mother fucker?” I asked. She knew I had seen it with my own eyes.

The guy pulled on his pants and got out of there as fast as he could. I couldn’t believe she would do that to me. But she did.

End flashback

That had been three months ago. She had been trying to win me back ever since. I had slept with her once or twice since then, but it wasn’t the same. That day I had gone over to play her a song that I had wrote for her, called Daisy. It was one of my better works. But I just knew that I would never be able to perform that song after seeing her there on her knees.

I had been over her for a long while since. I had only ever written one song for her, and it didn’t mean anything to me now. It was just a song about a girl who didn’t mean anything to me, anymore. That’s how I described it whenever anybody asked.

Molly and I were old news, but people tended to bring it up as often as they could. I didn’t know why, they just did. I don’t know why she had come through my window, or what she was even doing here, but I didn’t think I wanted to know.

Even if I let her back in my life, she would just hurt me again. People never change. Anyone can tell you that. Anyone that’s cynical enough to believe it.

Garrett came over the next day at around noon. Rachel was with him, of course. She never left his side when we were here. Especially now that it was summer. But they were cute together, and they weren’t obnoxious or anything, just a little...flirtatious. I didn’t mind. We were used to it. They had been dating since they were fourteen.

They had come to get me out of the house. I had told Garrett about what happened with Molly last night, and I knew he was worried about me. We were going to the local strip mall. He knew that I loved hanging out there.

We got in his little yellow car and he drove us down the familiar, winding road to the Tempe strip mall. When we got there, we headed straight for the video game store. Garrett wanted to go there. I, personally, didn’t care, and I knew Rachel was happy just being with Garrett.

“Dude, they’re supposed to have the new zombie basher game! You know I love bashing zombies!” He was such a little kid, sometimes.

“Garrett, if they have any kind of zombie killing game, you’ll be happy. Okay?” Rachel said, as she chuckled. Garrett really was lucky to have her.

Then, as we passed Hot Topic, I saw a girl standing behind the register looking annoyed at a bunch of weird preppy girls. I walked over to her.

“You look like you could use some help,” I said.

“I’m doing just fi-,” She said, but stopped short when she looked at me.

“Hi, I’m Cassadee,” she said.

“John,” I said as I flashed her one of my signature smiles. I knew it would knock her breathless. It did.

“Umm. I’m, uh, I get off in 20 minutes,” she said.

“Subtle, I like it,” I said, and I chuckled. The preppy girls had left with disgusted looks on their faces.

Us indie kids could freak out anyone if we tried hard enough.

“Thanks, so much. Those girls were starting to freak me out,” She said with a sigh.

“No problem,” I said. I started to walk out of the store when she called after me just like I knew she would.

“Wait! I really do get off in 20 minutes,” Score, I thought.

“Well, then, would you like to join me as I steal quarters out of the fountain and buy 99 cent tacos from Taco Bell?” I asked.

“Sure, sounds like fun,” she said.

“Oh, it is,” I said as I laughed. I walked over to where Garrett and Rachel were, right on the other side of the fountain.

“What was that all about?” Garrett asked.

“Just helping a girl out,” I said.

“He has a date,” Rachel said. I looked at her.

“Umm, how do you know what I’m thinking?” I asked her.

“Magic,” she said as we all laughed.

Rachel

I had no idea what might’ve happened between Alex and Hannah, but I did know that I needed my best friend. I didn’t bother knocking on the door; I just walked on the bus and slipped into the bunk.

“Hug me,” I whimpered as the tears began to fall down my face. Garrett untangled his arms from the blankets and wrapped them around me, hugging me close to him. He kissed the side of my neck and rested his head on my shoulder.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he said, waiting for me to tell him what happened.

I sniffed and wiped away the tears that were resting on my cheeks. Garrett wiped away the ones I’d missed with his thumb and gently rubbed my arm with his hand.

“I went to the coffee cart to talk to Jane, but some other was there and was pretending to cry.” I sniffed again. “I asked her what was wrong and she started telling me all of this stuff about how she did something with Alex.”

Garrett wiped away the fresh batch of tears that were on my cheeks.

“What did she do?”
“She wouldn’t tell me, so I confronted Alex and he kept insisting that nothing happened.”
“Maybe nothing did happen.”
“But he was acting paranoid, and like, asking me what she told me.”
“Want me to talk to him?”
“Not right now,” I said, snuggling closer to his side. “Right now, I need you.”
“That’s fine,” I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulder.

I sniffed again and Garrett’s arms wrapped tightly around me.

“Do you wanna sleep?” he said softly.

I shrugged.

“You can if you want. I’ll stay right here.”

Garrett

I heard Rachel’s breathing get deeper and knew she’d fallen asleep.
Poor kid.

I didn’t know what to think about this new situation with her and Alex. I could see him hooking up with some girl, but not while he was with Rachel. I knew how much she meant to him and how messed up he always got whenever there was a problem between them.

I looked down at Rachel’s sleeping face. She was so beautiful. Some part of me would always love her, but I really only loved her as a friend. In fact, she was the closest friend I had outside of the band, and closer than some people in the band. I kissed her forehead again and her hand closed loosely around my shirt, holding onto me as though her subconscious was making sure I was still there.

“Don’t worry, hun, I’ll always be there for you,” I whispered.

Jack

After Rachel had mentioned Jane, I decided to go find her. Alex was a mess right now, but he had other people to help him through it. I left the bus and walked around, my eyes searching for Jane.

Eventually I found her. She didn’t notice me, though. I ran over to her, not screaming her name because I knew she’d run away. I came up behind her and grabbed her shoulder a little too hard.

“Ow, fucker!” she said, elbowing me in the stomach without turning around.
“Jane,” I whimpered, trying to catch my breath.

She turned around and looked down at me, for I had fallen to the ground.

“Oh, sorry,” she grunted, reluctantly extending a hand to help me up. I stood up and panted, waiting for my breath to return to my body.
“Can we talk?”

She rolled her eyes and walked over to the picnic tables, motioning for me to sit down across from her. I did and attempted to take her hands in mine, but she slid them under the table and folded them in her lap.

“Jane, I just wanna tell you one thing.”
“Yes?”
“I’ve never tried this hard for a girl in my entire life, and I’m terrified right now.”

Jane leaned across the table and kissed me softly.

“Keep trying, because it’s working,” she winked and walked away, leaving me alone and speechless at the picnic table.

Zack

I’d managed to sneak off the bus during Alex and Rachel’s fight and went over to We the King’s bus. I went to the back lounge and found Macy sitting on Travis’s lap and Hunter sitting on the other end of the couch playing video games. I picked up the other controller and tried not to smile too much as Macy gave me a sexy smile while Travis’s gaze was in the other direction.

“’Sup, bro,” Hunter nodded, changing the game to two-player mode.
“Hey, man,” I clapped him on the shoulder as I sat down.

Travis’s phone started ringing and Macy slid her hand into his pocket to get it out. I tried not to look jealous and went back to focusing on the game. Macy winked and handed Travis his phone.

“Hey, Alex,” Travis said. He paused while Alex was talking and the smile slowly fell from his face. “Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

Travis hung up the phone and looked at me.

“Alex and Rachel are fighting?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think he was that messed up over it.”
“Well he is, so I’m gonna go over there.”

Macy stood up and locked her arms around Travis’s neck.

“Bye, baby,” she cooed, kissing him softly.
“I’ll see you at our set,” he smiled, kissing her cheek and leaving.

Macy sat back down, but a lot closer to me. Since she was out of Hunter’s view, she would occasionally run her hand along my thigh, sending shivers through my body.

“What did they fight about?” Hunter asked, causing both Macy and I to jump. We’d momentarily forgotten that he was here.
“Uh, something about that girl from the party that Alex was with.”
“Is it the fight?” Macy asked, looking worried.
“Nah,” I shook my head. “Definitely not; they’ve been through so much worse.”
“Do you know where she is?” she still looked worried.
“Nope,” I shrugged.
“I should go find her.”

Macy got up and ran off the bus.

“Is there something I don’t know?” Hunter asked.
“Yeah, that was weird,” I agreed.

Rian

Kara and I walked hand in hand to the breakfast tent, grabbed food, and went to sit at an empty table.

“Is the catering usually this good?” she asked.
“No, it’s because they knew you were coming,” I said sarcastically, smiling.

Macy came rushing over and sat down across from us, a wild look on her face.

“Where’s Rachel?” she said quickly.
Kara and I looked at each other and then shrugged.
“No idea,” I said.
“Why?” Kara asked.
“I need to make sure she’s-“

Macy didn’t finish her sentence before running off.

“Who was that?” Kara asked.
“Our new friend Macy.”
“Oh.”
“She’s going out with Travis.”

Kara nodded.

“It’s bothering me that she was so worried about Rachel.”
“Yeah, that was weird,” I agreed.

Macy

I needed to find Rachel.

Flashback

Rachel and I had decided to ditch the party tonight and go off on our own. We’d stopped by and grabbed a cup of vodka each, then left to walk around the otherwise deserted area.

“Macy, I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.”
“I know, right?” I smiled.
“And I trust you a lot,” Rachel continued as though she hadn’t heard me.
“I trust you, too,” I said, a little confused.
“So I need to tell you something.”
“Go ahead.”

Rachel stopped walking and I stopped by her side.

“When Alex and I fight,” she paused as though she was suddenly having second thoughts.
“Yeah…?”
“Sometimes I cut myself.”

Rachel

Jack was so upset all night that I decided I should go talk to Jane when we parked in the morning. I got off the bus and made my way over to the coffee cart. Jane wasn’t there, but that other girl was, and she appeared to be crying. I walked a little quicker and leaned over the counter.

“Are you okay?” I asked, concerned.
She glanced up at me and her face didn’t look tear stained. “No,” she whimpered.
“What’s wrong?” she was weird.

She lifted her face up and pretended to wipe away the tears that weren’t there.

“Do you know Alex Gaskarth?”
“Yeah, I’m his girlfriend.”

A shadow of a smile flickered across her face, but it was gone before I could be sure of what I’d seen.

“Well then you probably know all about me.”
“No…?”
“Really? That’s weird, because he said he was going to come clean to you about everything.”
“Come clean?”
“He really didn’t say anything?”
“No, what the hell are you talking about?”
“It’s really not my place to tell…”

I slammed my hand down on the counter and took a deep breath, looking away from her.

“I’m really sorry,” she said, innocently. I looked down at her just in time to see her hide a smile.
“Yeah…”

I turned and left her to go fake-cry by herself.
So much for talking to Jane today.

Rian

I woke up and felt the presence of somebody next to me. I started freaking out and pushed them. They awoke with a scream, falling out of the bunk, which was luckily on the bottom.

“What the hell, Rian?” Kara mumbled, getting up from the floor and climbing back into the bunk.
“I’m so, so sorry! I’m not used to waking up with somebody else!” I started apologizing furiously.

She rolled her eyes, privately pleased that she knew I hadn’t cheated on her. I kissed her nose and snuggled closer to her.

“What are we gonna do today?” she asked.
“After our set, we can do whatever you want.”
“Whatever?” she smiled sexily.
“Yes, even that,” I kissed her softly.

Zack

I woke up to three new texts from Macy.

FROM: Macy
MSG: I’d love to(:

FROM: Macy
MSG: Zack?

FROM: Macy
MSG: I’m guessing you fell asleep. Love you, goodnight<3

I smiled and closed my phone. We had a day off tomorrow and we were going to the Fantasy Factory. I was so excited to see Drama and whatever West Coast friends I could find. Hew!

I peaked out of my bunk to find Kara lying on the floor. I pulled my head back inside, deciding to wait a few minutes before leaving. When I was sure she and Rian were done doing whatever, I hopped out of my bunk and went to the front lounge where Alex was sitting, staring blankly at his phone.

“What’s up, man?”
“I just got this really weird text from Rachel.”
“What does it say?”

He handed me his phone and I opened the last text from her.

FROM: Rachel
MSG: We need to talk about you were supposedly going to ‘come clean’ about.

I looked back up at Alex.

“That doesn’t sound like a talk I wanna be a part of, so I’m just gonna…” I gestured towards the door, but Alex grabbed the side of my pants since I wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Don’t leave,” he begged, his eyes wide.
“Dude-“ he was freaking me out. How scary could Rachel be?
“She won’t be as mean if you’re here!”

I double over laughing. Rachel? Mean? No way.

“Why are you laughing?” he whined.
“Rachel isn’t mean!” I snorted.

Right at that moment, she came stomping on the bus.

“Explain,” she demanded, appearing not to notice me.
Alex stood up and walked over to her, his hands resting on her waist.
“Can you explain, first?” he asked softly, obviously trying to work his charm on her.

It seemed to work for a minute, because Rachel’s eyes focused down on his lips, her mouth slightly parting. She shook her head as though coming out of a trance.

“I was just talking to that girl at the coffee cart, and-“
“Jane?” Jack poked his head out of nowhere.
“No, she wasn’t there,” Rachel snapped at him.
“Hannah?” Alex gulped.
“Sure,” Rachel shrugged and continued. “She said that you were going to come clean about something to me.”
“I was?”

This truly seemed to surprise Alex.

Alex

I had no idea what Hannah was talking about. What had she told Rachel?

“Um, what did she say to you?”
“Just some shit about you coming clean.”
“Nothing else?”
“Why, what do you think she might’ve told me?”

I groaned, my heart sinking down to my toes.

“Please just tell me if she told you anything.”
“She didn’t!”
“But you’d tell me if she did?”
“What happened between you two?”
“What do you know?”
“Nothing! But obviously something happened!”
“Why ‘obviously’?”
“You’re being really paranoid.”

I groaned again, knotting my fingers in my hair. I really couldn’t tell if Rachel knew anything or not.

“Wait,” something seemed to click. I grimaced at her. “Is she the girl from the party?”

I guess the truth showed on my face, because Rachel looked angrier than ever.

“You said nothing happened,” she growled.
“Nothing did happen,” I pleaded with her.
“Liar,” she spat.

I watched her walk down the stairs and disappear around the bus.
____________________________________________________________________________________

:)
I finally got ideas again.

So I'm lacking the presence of Cobra Starship, We the Kings, and The Maine.
They'll be back very soon.
I miss them, don't you? 

buzznet is being fucked again. ugh. well yes, this is part 2! SORRY IT'S SO SHORT!

::Mel’s POV::
I tuned around from talking to John to see Jack running away. I assumed he heard what I had said about him. I looked at John for help. He just raised his hands, shaking his head he walked away. Ugh, dammit. I always manage to fuck things up somehow or another. I sighed, and got up to run after Jack. Shit, which way did he go? I ran past the busses and our van, to find Jack sitting on the sidewalk a little ways from our van. I looked at him; he looked pretty pissed/upset. I walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder.
“Go away. I’m not cute, remember?” He said coldly. I sighed and sat down beside him and started throwing rocks. We sat in silence for a while until I finally sang:

“Inquisitive and thoughtful,
she was the challenge he'd been waiting for;
a reminder that creativity runs deep like secrets.
Dark eyed dreamers; they were a dangerous pair,
Q next to U scribbled out on paper.
They stop.
They go.
They're done.”

And with that I got up and walked away from him. I never really sang in front of people, normally only with Garrett when we’re in the car, the music just takes me. He’s always telling me how I have a beautiful voice and how I should let people hear me but I think its bull shit. I just wanted him to think long and hard on this one.
::Jack’s POV::
Mel sang to me. Our song Circles. “Dark eyed dreamers; they were a dangerous pair,” that was the line that hit me hard. I knew I had screwed things up, but was it really this bad? I sat there on the curb for hours, thinking, of anything, to get Mel to be mine. Nothing. Fuck. I stood up and began walking back to the busses. I was crushing on Mel, hard. I wanted her all to myself.
I got back to the busses- no one was outside. SHIT! Did I miss bus call again?! I looked at my watch: 1:56AM. FUCK! Bus call was at 1am. I burst through my bus door to find Flyzik, along with Alex, Zack, and Rian, all waiting for me.
“Hey guys! What’s, uh, up?” I said acting as if nothing was wrong.
The guys all had sly smiles on their faces. I knew what was coming.

“GUYS COME ON! LET ME OUT!” I screamed from inside the storage box. I heard them laughing. THUD!
“OW FUCKING BALLS!” I was dumped out onto the hard cold pavement. There stood Alex, Zack, Flyzik, and Rian. “Fuck you guys.” I said as I tried to stand up, I failed. I was way too dizzy from being spinned around. I fell to the ground as they all walked away. Some friends I had. Hell, I was only an hour late? Big shit. They hadn’t left! I stood up. The busses were starting to leave. I ran to our bus, but the door was locked. I could see Alex standing there at the door. I heard him tell the driver to drive.
“FUCK YOU ALEX! LET ME THE FUCK IN!” I screamed at him. He stood there laughing. The bus started to pull away slowly. I ran after it. The bus stopped suddenly and the door opened. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with everyone standing above me.
“Dude, what the hell happened?” I asked trying to sit up, which didn’t work so well since I now had a throbbing headache and I realized my nose was bleeding and so was my eyebrow.
“Shitfuckdammit.” I mumbled.
Alex laughed. “That’s what ya get for running into the bus door, now come on or we’ll never make it down to Atlanta!” He helped me up and we walked into the bus to get me cleaned up.

sorrrrry its so short.! im having terribles problems with this story and where i want it to go. if you have any suggestions please tell me! D:

i cant find anything to write about....

2010 has started at great 

hope its the same for you.

 

 

So do i got some Lost lovers???

if so what the hell do you think is going to happen next season???

i cant fuckin wait.

 

:)

ohh also mentally prepare yourself for my overview of 2009

its going to be an open book if you know what i mean...

Friday rolled around and Mae couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Tim was having another party. He’d invited her to come; in fact he’d been calling her all morning asking if she was going to go. She wasn’t sure though.

She knew that John was going to be there and she knew that she didn’t want to drink again. It was one thing for her to have a beer and still be kind of able to know what she was doing, but to get drunk like she had with Tim was not good.

There was no way she was going to lose another night if she could help it. Things happened that she regretted when she woke up whether she remembered them or not. Mae laughed for a second thinking that she was an affectionate drunk, but then stopped. That wasn’t such a good thing and she knew that could get her into trouble.

Mae’s phone rang again. She looked at it and sighed. It was Tim. She guessed it was time to let him down and tell him that she wasn’t going.

“Hey Tim.”

“Hi Mae with an e!”

“What’s going on?”

“You coming tonight?” He asked ignoring her question.

“No.”

“What? We’re supposed to do the whole song and dance of I-don’t-know.”

Mae laughed. “I can’t Tim.”

“Family stuff?” He asked. “Other plans?”

“No, I don’t want to have what happened last time… happen again.”

“Oh…”

There was a heavy and awkward silence. Mae realized that Tim took what she said the wrong way.

“No! Tim I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, that I didn’t want to forget everything again.”

“It’s fine.” He sounded sad. “I get it. Well I have a party to get ready for. See you around.”

“No Tim! Wait!”

It was too late. Tim was gone.

Mae dropped her phone on her bed and sat in the chair at her desk with her head in her hands. She hated that she hadn’t thought before she spoke. I probably just ruined what I had going with Tim, if that was anything. She thought to herself.

“Hey? What’s wrong?” Garrett’s voice sounded.

Mae looked up. Garrett was sitting at his window. She smiled and pulled her chair closer to the window. When she was settled she noticed that Jared was sitting on Garrett’s bed.

“Hi Jared.” She smiled. “Hi Gare Bear.”

“Hey Mae! Ha I rhymed!” Jared laughed.

“What’s wrong Mae?” Garrett asked.

“I think I just messed everything up.” She sighed.

“With who this time?”

“Timothy.”

“Oh, that’s not good. You used the long version of his name.”

Mae sighed and looked at the windowsill.

“I said something without thinking.”

“What?”

It was annoying to Garrett to have to pull the information out of Mae. She always only gave him parts of what was wrong. He had to work to get the rest.

“I told him that I wasn’t going to go to his party tonight.”

“How is that bad if you didn’t think it through?”

“No, that’s not the bad part. I didn’t get there yet.”

“So get there.”

“I’m going. Anyways, when he asked why I said it was because I didn’t want what happened last time to happen again.”

“Okay…” Garrett was confused.

“Don’t you see? He took that as I don’t want what happened between us to happen.”

“What happened between you guys?” Jared asked coming to the window.

“I got drunk and apparently we made out like the whole night or something in his room but I can’t remember and neither can he.”

“That sucks. How do you know that’s what you did if you don’t remember?”

“Waking up with his hand on my boob was a pretty good indicator.”

“Oh, so there was touching too eh? What’s John think about this one?”

“He doesn’t know.” Garrett said.

“I’m sure he’s just dying for me to get drunk again though. He’d love a repeat of what happened between us.”

“Oh, he told me about that,” Jared regretted what he’d blurted out and tacked on, “then he told me that he got in trouble for telling people.”

“Yea. So back to Tim, that’s what’s wrong. I think I just hurt his feelings.”

“So go to the party tonight then and make up for it.” Garrett said.

“John’s going to be there too. It’s really awkward when I’m with the both of them.”

“I don’t know what to tell you kid. Just talk to Tim then I guess.”

Mae sighed and got up to pick her phone up. She sat back in the chair by the window and started typing out a long message to Tim trying to explain what she meant since she assumed he wasn’t going to answer her call.

“What cha doin?” Jared asked.

“Explaining to Tim.” Mae said back. “Hang on.”

Jared went back to Garrett’s bed and sat down. He picked up the acoustic guitar he’d brought along and played with it. Garrett pulled out his own phone and tapped out a message to his girlfriend just to tell her that he loved her.

When she was done with her message, Mae set her phone down and looked back at Garrett.

“Are you going tonight?”

“Thinking about it. Jared is.”

“Oh.”

“I think pretty much everyone we know is going.” Jared said.

“Except me.” Mae sighed.

“You could change that.” Jared smiled.

Mae shook her head.

“Or not.” Jared mumbled plucking at his guitar.

“Come over here.” Garrett said.

“Give me a minute.” Mae stood up.

“The door’s open. Just walk in. Jared and I are the only ones here.”

“Okay.”

Mae shut her window and put her chair back. She checked her phone but there was nothing. She knew she wasn’t going to get a response from Tim.

There was no need for shoes since she was just going next door so Mae walked across the two lawns and into Garrett’s house. They were still up in his room so she went there. Garrett pulled Mae into a hug when she walked through the door.

“Don’t worry about it. Tim will get over it. I’ll talk to him if you want.”

“Again with the second grade Garrett.”

“Okay, so I wont then.” He squeezed her and then let her go.

She sat on his bed and Jared sat up to hug her. She smiled and hugged him back.

The three of them sat and talked for a few hours. Mae went home when Jared and Garrett left for Tim’s. Garrett tried to get Mae to come but she didn’t want to. She went home and went up to her room to read the second of the two books while she waited to feel sleepy enough to go to bed.

 

A month passed in which Mae still didn’t know what to think. She was just as confused as she’d been before. Tim was on and off with how he acted towards her. John was almost always there if she was with Tim.

Mae knew that she should be calling Tim soon. He had promised that he’d take the stitches out of her hand. That just gave her an excuse to see him.

After debating over it she ended up texting him because they hadn’t spoken over the phone in two weeks.

My stitches need to be taken out. You up for it? She asked.

She waited and waited for a response. It seemed like forever. She watched TV but kept checking her phone. Was this a no?

Then finally her phone buzzed. New message!

Yea, I’m in. When and where? He’d responded.

When it’s convenient for you.

Not doing anything now. Come over?

Be there in ten.

Mae got up from the couch and clicked the TV off.

“Going to Tim’s. He’s taking the stitches out of my hand.” Mae told her mom.

“See you later. Be careful.”

Mae got into her car and drove at the top of the speed limit to get to Tim’s house. She parked and walked up to his door. After she knocked there were about two seconds and then the door opened.

Tim stood there with a smile.

“Hi.” She said.

“Come in.”

Mae walked into the house. She listened for a moment and decided that there was no one here but him. She smiled. Now, as long as John doesn’t decide to show up we’re good. She thought.

“Let’s go in the kitchen.” Tim said taking her right hand, the good one.

Mae smiled and walked closer to him. They went into the kitchen.

“Sit over there at the table.”

Mae did as she was told and put her left hand on the table for Tim. He went into the drawer and pulled out a thin pair of scissors and then left the kitchen only to return with a pair of tweezers.

“I’ve done this several times before so don’t worry.” He said picking up her hand.

For a moment he looked at the small, almost healed cut and ran his finger over it lightly. Mae watched him and tried to control what she was feeling. He is probably just trying to figure out the best way to take the stitches out. Calm down. She told herself.

Tim picked up the scissors after a moment and snipped the first stitch close to the skin. He did the same to the other four and then on the other side he did the same. Then he took the tweezers and started to pull the pieces that were in her finger out.

“Done!” He announced looking up at her.

“Yay! And for free!”

“Well…” Tim smiled. “Maybe not totally free. You have to stay here for a while.”

“Mmm fair price for something so painless.” Mae smiled back.

Tim threw the little stitches in the trash.

“Want anything?” He asked her gesturing to the kitchen.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay, then come on.” He said offering his hand to her.

Mae took his hand and he took her with him to the TV room. He sat down and pulled her to sit next to him. Mae pulled her feet up under her and curled into a ball. Tim smiled at her wondering why she did that.

“What?” She asked when she saw that he was looking at her.

“Nothing.”

Tim put his arm around Mae and pulled her closer. She had to readjust herself so she didn’t fall in his lap. She let herself lean against the side of his chest happily tucked under his arm. After a little she laid her head on his shoulder and watched what he had put on the TV. Tim’s hand rested on her shoulder and started to rub in small circles.

Mae blushed when she thought about what was going on. Tim felt her heat up against him and smiled knowing what she looked like.

“Why are you blushing? I didn’t do anything to you.” He said with a laugh.

“No, not just now. Before you did. I was just thinking about it is all.”

“What did I do?”

“Curled me up under your arm like a football.” She said smiling.

“Oh, this.” He pulled his arm tighter around her.

“Yea.”

Tim smiled to himself. This was all he’d wanted to do for a while. She wasn’t complaining so it was perfect to him. She even curled in towards him, not like how she behaved when John did this. No, this was different.

For a long time all they did was sit together and watch TV. Tim picked up Mae’s left hand and ran his finger over the pink puckered line that was the cut from the knife. She watched his finger rub hers and wondered if he was just doing it or he’d thought about it.

There were things Mae wanted to say to Tim–and this certainly would have been a good time to do it–but she couldn’t make herself speak.

Instead they both just sat there with each other. Tim ran his finger over hers as if it would heal it faster. Mae closed her eyes and kept her head on Tim’s shoulder. The TV was on, but they weren’t really watching it.

Slowly Mae felt herself becoming sleepy. She kept her eyes closed and relaxed further into Tim’s side.

Tim knew she was asleep when he felt her go completely relaxed. It made him happy to have her sleeping against him like this. He pulled her closer and put her legs over his lap. She curled against him to make herself comfortable in sleep. He looked down and watched what he could of her face in sleep and smiled to himself. She’s so pretty. How did I not notice this before now?

Two hours passed before Mae woke up.

“Oh, sorry! I fell asleep!” Mae said picking her head up off Tim’s chest.

“It’s okay. It was only a nap.”

“How long was I out?”

“Two hours.” Tim smiled at her.

“Two?”

Tim nodded. Their faces were really close and for a moment Mae couldn’t think. Tim’s hand was holding hers and he gave her a little squeeze. She looked down to see that she was half on him and that her body was curled towards him like he was an oversized teddy bear.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be all over you.” Mae said starting to move her legs.

Tim put his hand on her hip and shook his head no. She stopped.

“You’re fine how you are. Just stay. We’re both comfortable.”

“Okay.”

Mae didn’t relax back into Tim like he wanted her to so he put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her back into his chest. She found this more comfortable than she remembered when she fell asleep.

“Do you want anything now?” He asked her quietly.

“No, just you.” She said and then bit her lip.

When she looked up to read his face he was smiling.

“I mean… that I just wanted to stay how we were. You know?”

Tim nodded. “Sounds fine.”

She felt her cheeks full of color again. Tim’s hand came up and stroked her cheek. Her face burned where he’d touched.

“Look at that.” Tim said almost lovingly.

“What?”

His eyes were staring into hers again and she couldn’t breathe.

“You blush so easily. All I have to do is touch you.”

“Or talk to me like this.” Mae said feeling a whole new wash of heat in her skin.

“I’ll keep doing it.”

“Please.”

“You look so pretty when you blush like this.”

Mae smiled.

“You do. I should have figured this out before too.”

“Should have. You were too busy being a senior though.”

“Now that’s you. You’re the senior.”

“But I’m making time to be here. You had three years after you were a senior to make up for it and figure me out.”

“True.”

Tim’s fingers stopped for a second and then started up again rubbing small circles into her cheek. Mae remembered to breathe and sucked in a breath.

“You okay?”

“Yea, I’m fine. I just… I forgot how to breathe.” Mae admitted.

She couldn’t figure out why she was so honest with Tim. It was like he asked her a question and she gave him the first thought that flew through her mind. There was something about him that just made her want to never lie to him.

 

so i dont really want kids

BUT

if i did have one he will for sure be this radddd