future Blog and Journals

So I guess this is it. I'm finally starting to write a diary after years of promising myself I would. I doubt anyone will actually read this but either way I guess it's good to get things off your chest. So I will.

2010. A new year, a new beginning. It's the perfect timing. Which is why I'm actually doing this. 2009 was one of the worst years ever. So many bad things happened. So many people passed away - people I knew personally, people I looked up to, and famous people that I watched or read about on TV or on the computer. It got me thinking and I'd ask myself: "When will it be my turn? Life is so short and so precious and I haven't even lived it yet". So I guess that calls for a few new changes. My first new years resolution:

Stop putting other people first

I'm too nice. Everyone knows it. My friends tell me. But in the end people just use you and trample all over you when they're finished. Well, not anymore. Life is short. I've got to start sticking up for myself and standing up for what I truly believe in. Fuck everybody else. My Dad always told me that "no one really cares about you in the end anyway" and I'm starting to believe he's right. It's hard to accept but the truth hurts, right? I've got to be selfish. I've got to put myself first. It is my life after all. No one knows what lies around the corner. I could die today and what would I have achieved? To never have lived life in the fast lane, to never have just grabbed life by the balls and do something for myself and experience a movie perfect moment. "There is nothing better than movie perfect moments and that you cannot work for or buy". They leave you breathless, speechless and remain a part of your heart and soul forever. This is why I've decided my second new years resolution:

Start living my dream

We all have them. We all think about them and wish for them every single day of our lives. And right now there are things stopping me from stepping onto the right path of my dream. These are things I've got to work towards and put right for 2010. Nothing is impossible if you truly believe in it.

My third and final wish:

Become that person that I'd like to look up to

I can only be myself. No one else. I only have one shot and I'm the only person who can shape myself into that better person I can become, and right now I am not fully myself. I can be the best. I can change. It will just take time. So in order to become that better person - that person I'd like to see myself become and be proud of - I just need a sprinkle of the right ingredients and 100% belief. Surely it can't be that hard, can it?

So for me 2010 will be the year of change, the year of putting right all the wrongs, the year of succeeding, and generally just being a happier human being. The thing is, I've been thinking a lot lately. But that's not good enough. I've got to stop thinking and start doing. I just need a second to breathe in the fresh air of the new year, the future. The future is in my hands. The world is my oyster. I just have to start living in order to succeed. And I will.

Today is kinda crappy.  My daughter is super sick.  I am suffering from something called Costochondritis, and my husband is off, but we can't do anything because we are all feeling kinda shitty.  Oh well... at least we are together and we are warm and fairly happy in all.

Painted my nails green and gold... going to do my toes pink.  I think my colors are going to be green, gold, red, pink, white, and black for the new year!  All good colors... can be mixed and matched very well...  I am reflecting upon this last year, which has gone by super fast...  All the traveling I have done... all the mistakes I have made... and things I have done right.  I have NEVER been a person to dwell on the past, even though I seem to have an extraordinary sense of memory at times,  I want to focus on the future and on things I want to do and accomplish.

So far no plans for New Years Eve... I want it to be better than last year though.  Last year my daughter and I were both sicker than dogs, stuck at home alone, jorden was at work.  This year we will not be sick and Jorden is off!  I am thinking of cooking something fancy or fun like fancy crab cake burgers or creamy shrimp linguini... then maybe staying up and walking down to the castle by our house.  They had awesome fireworks last year... that was the only cool thing... Germans blow off more fireworks on New Years than Americans do on Independence Day!

There is more traveling I want to do.  It is the greatest thing ever and it is so inspiring.  And I will continue to be an advocate of traveling, whether it be venturing an hour away or a continent away.  You get a different perspective on life when you see other ways of living and being.  Seeing art or trees... architecture or nature.  Don't be blind or ignorant to your surroundings.  When I start traveling more I want to blog a lot more about it... share what others might not get to experience.

There is much more writing I want to do.  I want to work on my Story some more.   I want to explore different aspects of poetry as well as prose.  I will endeavor to journal something/anything every single day... whether it be what I ate for lunch or what were my thoughts on the art at the Mauritshaus in The Hague.  It'll be fueling my own fire... and possibly improve my handwriting!

I want to teach my daughter much more.  Work on her reading and counting and creative skills and outlets.  Coloring with crayons can be so much fun!

I want to be a better cook... try some more difficult recipes and create more of my own.  I really want to increase my palate and be able to taste better and understand food better.  Along with that I want to eat more organically and maybe less meat.  I have been eating vegetarian almost every other day.  I think I want to continue or expand upon that.

I need to learn to play my awesome Fender P Bass which is sitting brand new upstairs in my bedroom!

I want to read more.  I read a lot of books this year.  More than I have in a long long long time and I love it.  Most of it was all recreational... now I want to read some things that are more for my deep brain and soul.  I want to read more R.W. Emerson...  More V. Woolf, less Stephanie Meyer.  More Anthony Burgess, less Chuck Palahniuk.

There is going to be a lot more creativity in my life this next year... the inspiration and possibilities that have come to mind from simply buying a glue gun is amazing!  So there is that, and my crotcheting which I love to do.  I need to learn how to read patterns better.  My first project of the year is going to be making a birthday princess tutu for Aveline's birthday party.  I also have a pair of boring black wedge boots that are going to be embellished with some rockin studs!  I am also into finding vintage-y t-shirts, cutting them up and embellishing them with anything that works.  I just want to add some extra color and sparkle to my life... I live in a pretty gloomy area most days...

Photography is something that is on my mind CONSTANTLY.  I am hoping to get a new camera this year after taxes maybe...  but I feel like the more I talk about it the less it's all going to happen.

So these are not resolutions like normal.  These are just some goals I have set for myself.  The utmost important goals are to be a better mom and wifey and be a good daughter and friend!!!

Aaaaaand to eat more macaroons, wear more Betsey Johnson and vintage stuff, lose 10-15 pounds and have better hair and makeup!  I think that about tops it off :-)

Love and good thoughts!

Queen VII

I hate having too much time to do anything. It may seem like one of the dumbest things i have yet to say but maybe i should explain. When you have alot of time, you have alot of time to make mistakes and when you make mistakes having to much time means your thinking alot about those mistakes you have made. I person may argue and say that having alt of time should ensure that you make the right decisions and have time to plan adn think hard about what choices to make. WRONG . when you have a short amount of time, you have to make a choice quickly, and pray to the gods that it was the right one. i love that feeling, it gives you a rush.

when you have alot of time, it leavers you room to think, imagine, and ponder upon possibilities. i find myself thinking of my future, of the things and peope i want. that is the part that i do not mind. what hurts is drowning in the past. thinking of what happened and what i could have done to change it. i constantly remind myself not to trap myself but someitmes it is like a natural reflex. sometimes i do wish i could take back the things that i felt months ago,m but then again it wouldnt shape and mold my thoughts of the present

that is all i can do. think about the present. what am i doing today? not what did i do yesterday or what am i doing tomorrow. that doesnt matter today.

"It was the greatest feeling I ever had. Followed abruptly by the worst feeling I ever had. "

If 2009 has 1 word this word is Lady Gaga, at least in music. But sometimes the press put the 'singer Lady Gaga' side and only saw 'Lady Gaga's fashion'. So Gaga was drawing worldwide attention to her.

I separated some photos of her best clothes ever. It's like a TOP 3:

First: This black and gold dress. So amazing and her hair is so fantastic too 

Then this bag. Big n' Beautiful

Finally this 'glass dress' is fu***** amazing, LOL

Hope you like my first post here in Buzznet and i'll post more subjects about fashion, music n' celebrities. xxo, adam M.

What is the Alga? It is the name of Cladophora that could be the key to a new revolution in energy storage system and not just any storage, but batteries so thin you would have them printed on a paper and charged in about 11 seconds, with net superior capacities above anything that exists on the market.

There have been attempts to make paper-like batteries in the past, but they stumbled on the inconvenience of degrading their capacity over use. In other words, they have not been able to hold their charge for long after they've been used for a while, phenomena that we can observe in our laptops' or our cellphones' batteries such as Dell inspiron 1721 battery.

Cladophora is a hairlike freshwater plant and causes bad-looking, bad-smelling beaches - maybe you've had the unconscious opportunity of meeting her. Cladophora is an alga characterized by producing a kind of cellulose with a very large surface area (of course, in its microscopic details). Scientists say it has 100 times the surface of the cellulose found in paper.

If you have such a wide surface, then it's easier to understand you can put more conducting polymer on it, and have it recharged. Not only the battery's capacity will be enhanced, but also its lifetime, since the power is distributed over that huge surface. While a comparable polymer Dell 1721 battery showed a 50 percent drop in the amount of charge it could hold after 60 cycles of discharging and recharging, the new battery showed just a 6 percent loss through 100 charging cycles.

"We have long hoped to find some sort of constructive use for the material from algae blooms and have now been shown this to be possible," said researcher Maria Str?mme, a nanotechnologist at Uppsala University in Sweden. "This creates new possibilities for large-scale production of environmentally friendly, cost-effective, lightweight energy storage systems."They new Cladophora-based A1078's polymer layer is very thin: 40 to 50 nanometers, and its own cellulose fibers are only 20 to 30 nm, so they were collected into paper sheets.

The difference in charge capacity is extreme: the Cladophora paper battery could hold 50 to 200 percent more charge than usual conducting polymer batteries. Once optimized, the scientists say, they could even surpass the capacity of lithium batteries like Toshiba pa3107u 1brs, hstnn ib17, evo n610c battery, evo n600c battery, Apple a1057, Dell inspiron 1721 battery, also having the convenience of very fast recharging, because of their thickness. "When you have thick polymer layers, it's hard to get all the material to recharge properly, and it turns into an insulator, so you lose capacity," said researcher Gustav Nystr?m, an electrochemist at Uppsala University. "When you have thin layers, you can get it fully discharged and recharged."The paper battery could be used anywhere from electronic thin birthday cards to very fast car batteries, so their potential is immense, if harvested to the maximum.

More View ?  blogigo.com   obolog.com   app.blog.eonet.jp  bahraichblogs.com

idk i'm strange!!! lol

There are some things that i just cant seem to put my finger on; like why things that should make me feel great really make me feel worse than ever.  Why change is the most inevitable, sought after thing that there can possibly be, but in the end no one really wants it.  I've lived here in this place that doesn't ever move while everything i love and even those i don't become everything i'd never hav imagined.  Jealous of everything and wanting nothing to do with the fact that i need everything i don't want to need.  confusing i kno, believe me.... Theres no room for greats because the greats hav all had their time to be everything everyone expected.  Everythings been done and if theres something u need to say i can damn well bet its been said already, and probably better than u can even think to say it.  The days are too long but the months fly by. a contradiction in itself. And if u dare love somethng i promise it will be the end of u. Somehow quiting is the hardest thing to do but being who u refuse to give up being is even harder.

I mumble alot, i kno. give me a song & it'll be on repeat for hours while i spill my guts for every notebook to read. Today summer hair=forever young is my best friend as i sit wishing i was the one person i need most to be. The past is often the only friend we have because the future just wants to screw u over. Tomorrow the sun will rise just to prove that yesterday was better than u ever thought possible, scars included.

This week, we tackled the two contradictory terms of "future" and "past" for our photo assignment. Our amateur photographers grabbed their cameras and captured their interpretation of these two themes. They've also managed to create an impressive collection of images that all look at what it's like to age. Come take a peek!

Full results of this week's photo assignment inside...

AM's new album, "Future Sons & Daughters," is available now at the itunes store at www.itunes.com/am, or on the AM Official Online Store, www.theconnextion.com/am.  Visit the official AM wesite, www.amsounds.com, or AM's myspace page at www.myspace.com/amsounds for more information.

Happy Listening!

i desided last night that im going to try really hard to get the future i want.

the past few days i have been looking at universitys, i have looked at soooo many and booked so many open days that i done know how many times i have bookd the same one over and over ... but o well.

i still dont know what in fashion i want to do but i know i want to be in fashion. in a perfect world i would just desing clothes that i like and have people love them and want them .... but i want to do it may way. in college they make us all draw the same way, make the same things and i just want to do my own thing. im hopping uni isnt the same at college.

i have been making plans. i next summer im just going to make lodes of clothes and try and get peopel to see them ...