family Blog and Journals

As some of you may know my dog Maggie was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer a few days before Christmas. Unfortunately this morning we had to give Maggie our last loving gift.. that of letting her go. I will miss my Snuggly Bear very much but will always think of her with love.  

R.I.P my lovely Maggie.

so this is christmas 2009 and its neally 2010 ...what a year it has been

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lets start at 1st of january 2009 ..... 12.01am

 at this moment i promist myself that 2009 was going to be THE year, the year everything happends, everything is good, everything is happy

but o was i wrong  .....

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at this moment thia were good, i was happy and hving the time of my life, i had 2 days of college to go see metro station and boys like girls in leeds, i sayed with my brother and had an amazing 2days.

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but just 5 days later things wend down hill .... on th 2nd of febuary it was my 17th birthday and i was ill, i couldnt get out of bed or go to college.

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then 3 days after that, my life changed then i thought for the worst, on the 5th of febuary my mother drove me to this houes and told me she was leaving.

then for months after life was bad,

i think it was this moment while in london with my dad and brother the i realised i am happy, i cant amagine my life with my mum any more.

so in some ways this year has been good, i just hope things are better in 2010

if something changes your life, dont give up, just push though it and youll get out the other end a better and happyer person . ...........BELIVE ME

so everyone have a good new years and i hope you all had a great christmas : )

xx

Merry Christmas!

I had an amazing Christmas. I got a new laptop. The one which i'm typing on write now. It's my baby a macbook. I heart macbooks. I also got a keuric coffee machine which i love dearly. Plus some sketch pads and a calligraphy and a kewl purple case to put it in. I am going back to more sketching and whatnot. Plus an OFF THE WALL (now known as OTW) artist kit which includes pastels, colored pencils, shaiding pencils and a manikin. I'm really happy about that I want to start sketching again and do some fashion designing. 

I got a TWLOHA love purple hoodie and a outerjacket. Some OTW novelty shirts and other rad things. I had a really amazing Christmas plus spending time with my family, movies, egg nog. I even got to see my cousin and her OTW german sheepherd. Hope you guys had a Merry Christmas and leave comments telling me about your Christmas. Ciao. 

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Hey Everyone!

How was ya'lls Christmas??? I hope it was  great because mine was definitely one of the BEST CHRISTMAS' I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!

First of all, I know a lot of people out there have a lot of pre-conceived judgement of who I am. Who this "TILA TEQUILA" person is.  The media and some people out there just see me as some "FAMEWHORE" "ATTENTION SEEKER" "SLUT" etc...... I have let people say those things about me for years now and I never really cared because I knew the truth, and the truth is, I am NONE of those things.  As a matter of fact, the "REAL TILA" is actually quite the opposite.

I am sure there are LOTS of reasons why people like to say those things about me, and at the same time, if you think about it, I NEVER talk about my family.....EVER!  That is because I love them and I have ALWAYS tried my best to keep them AWAY from the MEDIA FRENZY!  I am here because I got here on my own.  So anything I do or say, or the choices I make, reflects on me.  I want to keep it that way and am here to protect my family from getting hurt or having the media on them.  HOWEVER, so much has happened to me this year and through all of my trials and tribulations I have gone through in 2009, I feel like now I am ready to share with the world, MY FAMILY!

Who is "TILA TEQUILA" really?  Well first of all, I am soon to be a WIFE, to my beautiful Fiance, Casey Johnson, I am a Sister, I am a Daughter, I am a Cousin, I am soon to be a MOM, but right now most importantly, I am an AUNTIE to my ADORABLE 3 year old Nephew named MARCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are MANY reasons why I never spoke about my family, but that is all about to change now because starting from this moment, I will start letting you into my PERSONAL LIFE and WORLD!  There is A LOT I want to tell you and explain to you about my family so I will just do it in segments like a diary to keep it short!  I will explain in more detail about why I was estranged from my family for YEARS and why me and my family fell apart.

For now though, I want to start off with something HEARTWARMING AND ADORABLE! Watching this video makes me cry tears of joy and happiness!  I love my Nephew Marco more than anything, however my Sister & I had a falling out 5 years ago and just never spoke and she would NOT allow me to have my nephew be in my life and that really took a huge chunk out of my heart!  It killed me that my Sister would allow her son to grow up and not know who his Auntie Tila is! It KILLED me that I think about him every single day and pray that he is doing well even tho she never let me see him.  So to make a long story short, we FINALLY spoke for the FIRST TIME EVER IN YEARS THIS CHRISTMAS & in this video, this is the FIRST TIME my 3 year old Newphew, MARCO, has met his Auntie Tila!

I will explain and tell you more about the Drama within my family but for now, I just wanted to share with you this video!  

EVERYONE PLEASE MEET MY GORGEOUS 3 YEAR OLD NEPHEW, MARCO! I LOVE HIM TO DEATH AND THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME HE HAS EVER MET HIS AUNT IN 3 YEARS! THIS VIDEO MAKES ME CRY TEARS OF JOY EACH TIME I WATCH IT!  I AM SO HAPPY THAT MY SISTER HAS FINALLY LET MARCO MEET HIS AUNTIE TILA & LET ME BE IN HIS LIFE BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO I AM, BUT THAT IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE NOW! BECAUSE THIS MORNING MY SISTER TEXTED ME AND SAID THE FIRST THING MARCO SAID WHEN HE WOKE UP WAS "WHERE IS MY TILA???" *TEARS* 

That means SO much to me!  After being estranged from my nephew & sending him gifts, phone calls, mail, he has finally woke up this Christmas and asked my Sister(his Mom) 

"WHERE IS MY TILA???" how CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I AM TEARING UP AGAIN!  I AM DEFINITELY A CHANGED WOMAN AND I CANNOT WAIT TO INTRODUCE YOU ALL TO MY FAMILY MORE!  STAY TUNED FOR PART 2.....FOR NOW

HERE IS MY ANGEL, MARCO! SOOOOOOOO CUTE! HE IS TILAS HEAD NUMBER 2! hahahhaah! SO CUTE! To be continued...............

Today was good! i spent alot of time with my brother and sister, but had to say goodbye to my boyfriend for he is leaving to el paso for a few days! But sometimes it is good to get away from close relationships. It snowed alot and there was a huge wreck but made it home safetly. glad to be back in my apartment! i missed my bff! yay for christmas in two days!!!

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Holy shit, so it's finals week. Well, not really, but I have my first final on Friday, which is actually tomorrow, at 12:45 in the afternoon. I have to go to my final class for speech on Saturday, yes, I have a class on Saturday, you can blame the budget cuts for that. I, however, gave my final speech last Saturday, December 5th, so I just have to show up and listen to the last few people deliver their speeches. I also have to submit my final, yes, my final is online and it's multiple choice by Saturday, but I will take care of that tomorrow afternoon. My friends and I are celebrating my friend, Feliza's 21st birthday on Monday, the fourteenth, by going to an All-American Rejects show at the Roxy, followed by a Tuesday of finals. The first final I have was unreasonably scheduled at 8am,(which is the time I'd usually roll out of bed for class) and the second is at 11am, they run consecutively, so I will be hungover and tired by my 6:30am wake up call. Feliza is the first of us to turn 21, so I guess that does deserve a big celebration. Now she can legally buy us alcohol... no more fake ID's Liz! Back to reality, after my finals, I am a free woman for the next six, yes, I said six weeks! I shouldn't start my celebrations now though, I am still stuck in classes for three more days, which means I am stuck with my head in the books until Tuesday at 12:15. I don't have class Thursday, which is actually today and I don't know why... something about having a few days off to study before finals, but I'll gladly take it. I'll actually be wrapped up in studying though. I am a satisfactory student, and I take my finals seriously, and because of the budget cuts, this is the last semester I will have the chance to take anything seriously. 

I'm quite bitter at this precise moment, I recently had the long awaited opportunity to enroll for Spring 2010 classes and found that the only classes open are freshman classes, so here I am, a junior in college and I am enrolled in unnecessary classes that will do nothing for my major, they're just busy classes to keep my spot at this university. The classes that I need were open at ridiculous hours of the night with horrible professors. I am a working student, and come April of next year, I will be employed at two jobs, so taking a class from 7-9:45 at night is not possible. Not to mention that all the night classes would all occur at the exact same time, so I wouldn't even have the opportunity to take what I needed anyway. It would be one serious class and three or four wasted classes. What I don't understand is why they have these ridiculous classes open when nobody needs them, why don't they rid the school of these wasted classes and add more classes that we are in desperate need of? Are they not throwing money away? With this situation they are holding more students back, keeping them farther away from graduation, so for students who receive financial aid and are being kept back, the government is losing even more money, so I guess the joke is really on them. Isn't it? I am not complaining about my classes, I'm taking 2 music classes, a humanities class and an anthropology class, classes I am interested in, however, I would much rather appreciate classes that are at an upper division level. I don't understand this. The first thing they cut is education, well, how well it's working out for them, isn't it? 

I heard the Key Club recently closed its doors as well, so now we've lost two amazing venues in a matter of only 2 months, being that the Knitting Factory, also in Hollywood closed it doors just a month and a half ago. Just like the school systems, music is the first thing to go, isn't it? We have all been aware of the struggle that local venues have been facing due to the budget crisis, but to get rid of them completely is really taking something special away. What are we going to have left after this? Once we rid ourselves of everything we love, we'll have absolutely nothing. What good is a stable life if we sacrifice the things that make us feel alive? Maybe I am blowing way out of proportion, but being that music has always been what I live and breathe it's hard to see places that I go to enjoy music become a small piece of history. The Virgin Records on Hollywood and Highland also closed its doors. I guess being that I'm a musician myself who was deprived of music programs in high school for three years has a strong influence on my biased opinion of what should and should not be taken away because we're having some financial issues. We're sending 30,000 more troops, spending a lot of money on that, now I'm sorry, but our President said that he WOULD NOT be deploying anymore of our troops, so where is his promise of 'Change' coming in? I see no difference between how he is running the U.S. compared to our previous ill-educated leader. I know Obama has done a lot in his year of presidency, but he has not done the things he put at the 'top of his list.' I voted for this man, and what I've seen makes me regret not punching Hillary Clinton's off on the ballot. 

I am looking forward to one thing... going home! I have decided to drive back to Nevada this winter holiday with a couple of my friends who have family there... these friends of mine moved to California from Nevada about six months ago, so they're driving back home with me and will be coming back with me as well. I will be home from December 16th to December 28th, that's all the time I was able to take off from work without getting in heaps of trouble. Two weeks is a decent amount of time to spend home. I will get to spend a family holiday with my family, so that is all that matters, then I am back in California to celebrate New Year's Eve with my friends. I don't start school until the end of January, so I'll have plenty of time off when I get back. 

Enjoy!!!!

Hayley P.O.V.

"Hayley," soft voice called. "Hayley...Hayley..."

"Five more minutes," I muttered, burying my head deeper in my comfortable pillow.

"It's almost three 'o'clock sweetie," I heard my mother say. "You have already missed the family breakfast.

"Five more minutes," I muttered again, putting my head under the pillow, hoping that my mom will get the hint and go away.

"Zac has been wanting to hang with you all day," bargained my mom, trying to pull the pillow away and failing.

"Soon," I mumbled, holding the pillow tighter to my head, sleep already coming back to me.

"Isabella wants to show you her doll collection," my mother said, pulling on the pillow harder.

"Soon," I repeated again, only seconds away from falling asleep.

"Josh says he wants to hang out," pleaded my mom, her last attempt to get out of bed. "He mentioned something about hotpockets, milk, and jelly donuts."

Automatically, I sat up from my bed, all traces of sleepiness gone.

"So," began my mother excitedly, clapping her hands together. "You finally woke up and with the mention of Josh's name too. Does this mean that you guys are good friends now?"

I gave my mother a murderous glare.

"...maybe not," she finished, frowning again. "Hayles..."

"I don't want to hear it," I grumbled, getting out of bed. "Waking up before noon on summer vacation makes me testy so please just leave me alone, alright?"

"Now Hayles..."

"I said I'm not freaking interested-"

"HAYLEY NICHOLE WILLIAMS," yelled my mom, grabbing my hands and forcefully pulling me toward her. "Stop cutting me off when I am talking to you, that is just too disrespectful."

"Sorry," I muttered, avoiding eye contact.

My mother sighed. "Look honey. I know you are not happy with this situation but can you at least do this for me. Just months ago you were telling me that you wanted to get to know John better since he's in Franklin most of the time."

"Well," I started, folding my arms. "I didn't think that you would take me seriously and drag me to this hell hole.

"Well get over it," my mother told me, patting my back. "We are only here for the first month of the summer. Then the rest of your summer is free."

"Thank the lord," I murmured.

My mother gave me a look but in return I just gave her a sheepish grin. She shook her head. "Well, I'm so glad for you enthusiasm." She ruffled my hair. "So besides the Josh situation... She gave me a small glare. "Is everything else okay with you? This transition must not be easy-"

"I'm okay," I interrupted. "Thanks for worrying, but I have everything under control."

"You sure?" inquired my mom. I nodded my head. She made a sigh of relief. "Well...I'm glad. I was afraid I was going to have to bring in all the maids and butlers to bring you out."

"Come on mom," I said, rolling my eyes. "I think of more mature ways to sabotage your relationships."My mother raised an eyebrow. "I'm just kidding." I raised my hands in surrender. "I'm really happy for you and John."

"Good," my mother exasperated, putting her hand on my chest. "You scared me for a second."

"Oh come on mom," I said, putting my hands around her. "I'm not that mean."

"You really are a good daughter Hayles," my mother commented, kissing the top of my head. "Not all children would be able to handle this well."

"Well...I' m not like other kids," I reminded.

"You certainly aren't," my mother giggled, getting off of my bed. She stretched a bit. "Well...I guess my job is done. I just wanted to check on how you are doing, but now I see that you are well which soothes my conscience, so I"ll leave you alone."

"Okay," I said, nodding my head. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Actually...there will be a family dinner at approximately six'o'clock. John organized it so that we get to know each other better."

"Oh really," I muttered.

"Yeah, I'm so excited," she said. She walked towards my door and opened it. "You are free to do whatever you like until then. John is taking me sightseeing around the neighborhood to get to know the place better. I'll see you later."

"Later," I said, waving my hands at her.

My mother gave me a big smile before shutting my door. When she did I threw the covers off of me and ran up to the door and locked it.

I sighed.

It hurts me that my mother is so gullible...but then again, it does let me get away with tons of stuff.

Like me forging my report card, suspensions from school, random crap she has found in my room that was actually stuff I have shop-lifted. Or...the biggest one of all, thinking that John is not right for my mother. I mean, he is a nice guy and all, but he's stinking rich. He barely spent time with my mom in all the visits he had done in Mississippi and I know that even if they do ever get married, he will probably spend more time on his job than with my mother and that won't make her happy. I bet they will only last five years...tops.  However, I plan to stop this stupid relationship before it even gets that far.  

I'm not going to let my mother and her love blindness make her create a grave mistake. I may be a pain in an ass and bother her all the time, but I am still her daughter and I really do love her.

She will thank me for it in the future...I know she will.

Smiling at myself, I unlocked the door and opened it, having the urge to get a bagel and some OJ for breakfast.

I stepped outside my room and was about to make my way down the stairs when I heard something drop...and a bunch of sticky, chunky stuff got on me.

What the...

I looked up and I saw a huge silver bucket hanging on the top of my door with yellow-orange stuff pouring of it.

Who the heck would do such a...?

In the distance, I heard a familiar laugh in the hallway.

I growled.

Change of plans. I'm not only going to try to sabotage my mother's future with John, but I'm going to mess up Josh so bad that he won't ever have a future again...I swear to it.

Josh P.O.V.

"Let me make this clear," I said softly, putting my hands on the girl's shoulder and looking at her deep in the eyes. "I...I...ugh..." I looked down, forcing myself to make tears out of my eyes. It isn't that hard. I'm a freaking professional at this shit. When I felt satisfied, I looked up and the girl gasped, tears glistening in her eyes too. This is way too easy...

"Oh Josh," gasped Jennifer, clinging on to me, I resisted the urge to cringe. "Please tell me you aren't doing what I think you are doing. Give me another chance. I promise to be better."

"But babe," I exasperated, making my voice crack at just the right place. "I just can't do this anymore. I just love you too much and it's just so hard to bare..."

"Josh," whimpered the Jenny. "You drive me crazy too but I can handle it. Maybe I can teach you..."

I shook my head as I made one tear fall down my cheek. The girl cried.

Damn it...I hate cry babies.

"There, there," I whispered, bring her into my arms. "I will come back to you soon enough. I just need time, that's all."

"How long?" inquired the Jenny.

"As long as it takes," I replied, looking down to her. "I want to be perfect for you."

"Oh Josh," sighed the girl, holding on to me tightly. "I can't believe this...and at the beginning of our first summer together too."

"Yes," I agreed. "That does really suck." I wanted to gag. Why is she dragging this out? I only came to break up with her in person just that one reason. "But..." I started. "I will come back for you babe...I promise." I wanted to laugh. I wouldn't come back for this loser even if someone paid me a million dollars. Our relationship is long over.

"I'm glad," she whispered, breaking into my thoughts. Jenny looked down, biting her lip. "I just wish that there was a way that we can spend one more moment together, just you and me."

I raised an eyebrow as looked down at her, a devilish smirk on her lips. "Oh...I think I have a great idea."

Jenny smirked back.  

Bingo.

A couple hours later

I parked my BMW in the huge car garage before getting out, feeling tired. I was pooped and it wasn't only because I was doing the deed with Jennifer, but because afterwards I went to the mall with the dudes to fool around and look for fresh meat.

In the summer, a lot of people come to Franklin to visit the little shops, stores, and shows around the area...and some of those people happen to be hot young woman who need a native Franklin guy to show them around.

B-I-N-G-O.

I smirked to myself as I put my hands in my pockets and made my way inside the mansion.

Am I a chauvinistic pig?

            Yep.

            Do I give a rat's ass?

            Hell no.

            I'm freaking seventeen years old. I can do whatever I please. These are the years that I'm supposed to be getting into trouble, doing stupid shit, sleeping around and hoping I don't catch anything for anybody. These are supposed to be the highlight of my life...and I'm living it to the fullest and I don't care who I hurt and destroy along the way.

            Even if it involves a certain annoying idiotic red head who I am currently having fun screwing around with. 

            I let out a chuckle.

            The look on her face was priceless. I mean, the trick was so classic I bet she is pissed at herself for not staying on guard.

            It had taken me most of the night to plan it. First thinking about the plan, looking for the material, finding the right liquid to use in the bucket (honey) and of course, making sure it was only Hayley who got drenched and not anyone else entering her room. I had the maid stay guard of her until 8AM and told her to text me if Hayley was planning on leaving or if her mother entered. The plan went perfectly.

            I hope this chick gets my warning. All she has to do is stay out of my way and we will get along perfectly well. It's not like she will be here long anyway, I have a plan that will make her mother lose interest with my father in less than a week...it's going to be my new personal record.

Sweet.

I began to whistle as I opened the door to the kitchen, feeling in an awesome mood. As I made my way to the refrigerator to look for something to eat, a maid blocked my way.

I scowled.

"What?" I demanded, folding my arms, starting to get pissed. I hated it when maids tried to pretend they had authority over me just because they make the food, my bed, and all that other stuff. They need to stop pretending that they have some authority over me...they don't.

"Your parents are waiting," the maid stated. "You are almost an hour and a half late for the family dinner."

Crap.

Sorry for the irregular updates. School has been on my butt since the semester is almost over and teachers are killing me with homework. But I still managed to squeeze in some writing time today. Yeah me!!! I plan to upload the next chapter soon.