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hahaha is this like a wrestling fanfic?!
 
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Look at this little story I wrote:
I like to write little stories about WWE wrestlers. It's kinda old, but check it out:
Carlito, Chris Masters, Edge, and Randy Orton Go To Wal-Mart!
One day, Carlito, Chris Masters, Edge, and Randy Orton were bored so they decided to go to Wal-Mart. So they all hopped into their red piece of shit 1986 Chevy Chevette that had one yellow door and one blue door and headed for the nearest Wal-Mart. They made it down the highway all right, but right before they could turn into the parking lot, the car stalled.
"Goddamn it all to Hell!" Carlito said. "Get out and push!"
"You can't make me push this fucking piece of crap," Randy said.
"The Hell I can't, boy! Just remember what happened to you last night!"
Randy frowned, remembering that last night, Carlito had "made him a man" (if you get my drift.)
So, they all piled out of the car and pushed it into the parking lot. As they pushed, a crowd gathered around to watch. It's not everyday that you see four professional wrestlers pushing a piece of shit red 1986 Chevy Chevette that has one blue door and one yellow door. Of course, everyone started laughing and pointing at them.
"Go away!" Edge yelled. "This isn't funny!"
They pushed the car into a parking spot then headed for the store. Outside of the store was a man, looking for donations for the Salvation Army.
"Would you care to make a donation, sir?" he asked Chris Masters.
Chris looked at him for a second, then put the Master Lock on him.
"Don't ask me for donations, fucker!" he said, shaking the man.
Carlito, Randy, and Edge just watched for a second, then went inside the store. They happened into the food section of the store. There was an old lady, offering a free sample of some sort of sausage.
"Would you care to try some sausage?" she asked.
"Would you care to try my sausage?" Edge asked.
"I don't understand."
"Suck my dick, bitch!"
"Excuse me?!"
"That looks like good sausage," Randy said.
"Go ahead. Try some."
Instead of trying a piece that she had sitting out, Randy stuck his hand into the skillet that was frying them.
"Ow!" he said. "Why is it burning me?!"
"You can't stick your hand in there, sir!" the old lady said.
"But that's where the sausage is!"
"There's some here."
Again, Randy sticks his hand into the skillet.
"Ahh!" he yelled. "Why is that hot?! That could hurt somebody!"
"Sir, are you retarded?" the old lady asked.
Edge kicked over the table and the three headed for the next aisle, which happened to be the ice cream aisle.
"Oooh!" Carlito said. "Pudding pops!"
Carlito pulled out a box and helped himself to a pudding pop.
"You have to pay for those, sir!" an employee, who had been watching, said.
"I don't have to," Carlito said.
"Yes, you do."
"You can lick my sweaty asshole."
"Pardon me?"
Carlito threw the pudding pop down and stomped on it. Then the three headed to another aisle. They came across the meat section. Randy picked up some hot dogs and put them in his pants. Then he picked up some bacon and put that in his pants. Carlito wandered over the dairy section and opened up a container of cottage cheese. He started eating it with his fingers as he wandered over to another old lady, offering free samples of some kind of milk.
"What the Hell is this?" he asked.
"This is soy milk," the old lady said.
"It smells like ass."
"Ass? What does ass smell like?"
"You know what, fuck you, you old whore."
Carlito continued on to another part of the store. Meanwhile, Edge had made his way to the feminine hygiene products.
"What do these do?" he asked a fellow browser, picking up a thing of deodorant."
"It's deodorant," she said.
"What does it do?"
"You put it on under your arms."
"Can I put it in my ass?"
"What?"
"Can I put it in my ass?"
"You, sir, are sick!"
She pushed her cart away, disgusted. Another shopper joined Edge in the aisle.
"What do these do?" he asked, holding up a box of tampons.
"Those are tampons," she said.
"Tampons?"
Edge opened the box and pulled out a tampon. He proceeded to insert it into his left nostril. He pulled out another and inserted it into his right nostril. Then he started knocking things off of the shelves and screaming something about the Holocaust being fake.
Meanwhile, back in the meat aisle, Randy had filled his pants with meat and was heading for the bathrooms when he got stopped by a security guard.
"Sir, what do you have in your pants?" he asked.
"Nothing," Randy said.
"Are you stealing meat?"
"No."
"Yes, you are! Your pants are full of it!"
"You're a lying bastard!"
Randy took off running, trying not to drop his meat. The security guard chased after him.
"Hey!" he yelled. "Stop!"
"Nooo!" Randy yelled. "I've got to save the booty!"
The security guard chased Randy right out the front door and into the parking lot.
Carlito stood in front of the women's underwear, eating his cottage cheese. An employee came up to him.
"Can I help you find something?" she asked.
"Do these come in a bigger size?" he asked, nodding to a pair of granny panties.
"This is the biggest size right here. Are they for a girlfriend or your wife?"
"No."
"Your mother?"
"No."
"Who then?"
"Me. Is this bra a push-up?"
"I don't know."
Carltio set down his cottage cheese and took off his shirt. He took the bra off of the rack and put it on.
"I like it," he said.
He picked up his cottage cheese and went over to the pajamas. He pulled a nightie off of the rack and put it on.
"If I poop in this, can I return it?" he asked the employee, who had followed him.
"No," she said.
"Too bad. I already did."
"Sir, you need to leave."
"No."
"I will call security."
"Go ahead."
She called for a security guard. Seconds later, a security guard came up to them. He took one look at Carlito and said, "Sir, you need to leave. Now."
"What did I do?" Carlito asked as the security guard led him towards the front.
"Just leave now."
The security guard pushed him out the front door. Edge, meanwhile, was in the toy aisle. He had found a hobby horse was gleefully riding it up and down the aisles, knocking things off of shelves when another security guard came up to him.
"Sir!" he said. "You need to stop!"
Edge stopped and got off of the hobby horse. He took it and started hitting the security guard with it.
"You can't tell me what to do!" Edge said. "I'm Jesus Christ!"
He dropped the hobby horse and ran for the exit. On his way out, he passed Chris Masters, who was being put into the back of a police car, next to Randy and Carlito.
"Assholes!" he yelled at them as he ran by. "Fuck you, pigs!"
A cop chased after him and got out his taser. He shocked him with it then handcuffed him and put him in the police car. And that was the end of their little trip to Wal-Mart.
Carlito, Chris Masters, Edge, and Randy Orton Go To Wal-Mart!
One day, Carlito, Chris Masters, Edge, and Randy Orton were bored so they decided to go to Wal-Mart. So they all hopped into their red piece of shit 1986 Chevy Chevette that had one yellow door and one blue door and headed for the nearest Wal-Mart. They made it down the highway all right, but right before they could turn into the parking lot, the car stalled.
"Goddamn it all to Hell!" Carlito said. "Get out and push!"
"You can't make me push this fucking piece of crap," Randy said.
"The Hell I can't, boy! Just remember what happened to you last night!"
Randy frowned, remembering that last night, Carlito had "made him a man" (if you get my drift.)
So, they all piled out of the car and pushed it into the parking lot. As they pushed, a crowd gathered around to watch. It's not everyday that you see four professional wrestlers pushing a piece of shit red 1986 Chevy Chevette that has one blue door and one yellow door. Of course, everyone started laughing and pointing at them.
"Go away!" Edge yelled. "This isn't funny!"
They pushed the car into a parking spot then headed for the store. Outside of the store was a man, looking for donations for the Salvation Army.
"Would you care to make a donation, sir?" he asked Chris Masters.
Chris looked at him for a second, then put the Master Lock on him.
"Don't ask me for donations, fucker!" he said, shaking the man.
Carlito, Randy, and Edge just watched for a second, then went inside the store. They happened into the food section of the store. There was an old lady, offering a free sample of some sort of sausage.
"Would you care to try some sausage?" she asked.
"Would you care to try my sausage?" Edge asked.
"I don't understand."
"Suck my dick, bitch!"
"Excuse me?!"
"That looks like good sausage," Randy said.
"Go ahead. Try some."
Instead of trying a piece that she had sitting out, Randy stuck his hand into the skillet that was frying them.
"Ow!" he said. "Why is it burning me?!"
"You can't stick your hand in there, sir!" the old lady said.
"But that's where the sausage is!"
"There's some here."
Again, Randy sticks his hand into the skillet.
"Ahh!" he yelled. "Why is that hot?! That could hurt somebody!"
"Sir, are you retarded?" the old lady asked.
Edge kicked over the table and the three headed for the next aisle, which happened to be the ice cream aisle.
"Oooh!" Carlito said. "Pudding pops!"
Carlito pulled out a box and helped himself to a pudding pop.
"You have to pay for those, sir!" an employee, who had been watching, said.
"I don't have to," Carlito said.
"Yes, you do."
"You can lick my sweaty asshole."
"Pardon me?"
Carlito threw the pudding pop down and stomped on it. Then the three headed to another aisle. They came across the meat section. Randy picked up some hot dogs and put them in his pants. Then he picked up some bacon and put that in his pants. Carlito wandered over the dairy section and opened up a container of cottage cheese. He started eating it with his fingers as he wandered over to another old lady, offering free samples of some kind of milk.
"What the Hell is this?" he asked.
"This is soy milk," the old lady said.
"It smells like ass."
"Ass? What does ass smell like?"
"You know what, fuck you, you old whore."
Carlito continued on to another part of the store. Meanwhile, Edge had made his way to the feminine hygiene products.
"What do these do?" he asked a fellow browser, picking up a thing of deodorant."
"It's deodorant," she said.
"What does it do?"
"You put it on under your arms."
"Can I put it in my ass?"
"What?"
"Can I put it in my ass?"
"You, sir, are sick!"
She pushed her cart away, disgusted. Another shopper joined Edge in the aisle.
"What do these do?" he asked, holding up a box of tampons.
"Those are tampons," she said.
"Tampons?"
Edge opened the box and pulled out a tampon. He proceeded to insert it into his left nostril. He pulled out another and inserted it into his right nostril. Then he started knocking things off of the shelves and screaming something about the Holocaust being fake.
Meanwhile, back in the meat aisle, Randy had filled his pants with meat and was heading for the bathrooms when he got stopped by a security guard.
"Sir, what do you have in your pants?" he asked.
"Nothing," Randy said.
"Are you stealing meat?"
"No."
"Yes, you are! Your pants are full of it!"
"You're a lying bastard!"
Randy took off running, trying not to drop his meat. The security guard chased after him.
"Hey!" he yelled. "Stop!"
"Nooo!" Randy yelled. "I've got to save the booty!"
The security guard chased Randy right out the front door and into the parking lot.
Carlito stood in front of the women's underwear, eating his cottage cheese. An employee came up to him.
"Can I help you find something?" she asked.
"Do these come in a bigger size?" he asked, nodding to a pair of granny panties.
"This is the biggest size right here. Are they for a girlfriend or your wife?"
"No."
"Your mother?"
"No."
"Who then?"
"Me. Is this bra a push-up?"
"I don't know."
Carltio set down his cottage cheese and took off his shirt. He took the bra off of the rack and put it on.
"I like it," he said.
He picked up his cottage cheese and went over to the pajamas. He pulled a nightie off of the rack and put it on.
"If I poop in this, can I return it?" he asked the employee, who had followed him.
"No," she said.
"Too bad. I already did."
"Sir, you need to leave."
"No."
"I will call security."
"Go ahead."
She called for a security guard. Seconds later, a security guard came up to them. He took one look at Carlito and said, "Sir, you need to leave. Now."
"What did I do?" Carlito asked as the security guard led him towards the front.
"Just leave now."
The security guard pushed him out the front door. Edge, meanwhile, was in the toy aisle. He had found a hobby horse was gleefully riding it up and down the aisles, knocking things off of shelves when another security guard came up to him.
"Sir!" he said. "You need to stop!"
Edge stopped and got off of the hobby horse. He took it and started hitting the security guard with it.
"You can't tell me what to do!" Edge said. "I'm Jesus Christ!"
He dropped the hobby horse and ran for the exit. On his way out, he passed Chris Masters, who was being put into the back of a police car, next to Randy and Carlito.
"Assholes!" he yelled at them as he ran by. "Fuck you, pigs!"
A cop chased after him and got out his taser. He shocked him with it then handcuffed him and put him in the police car. And that was the end of their little trip to Wal-Mart.
| Posted by kimberlytaylor on 03/17/2007 7:48 PM | Visits: 38 |