drama Blog and Journals

so today Dakota and i got into a fight:/

well....not really.

I suppose I was just bitching at him.

He was asking me questions about sex.

and it was pissing me off-fa-fa.

And i got to the point to where i said, "I'm not having sex so if that's what you're after, you might as well leave me alone."

BUT: We just made-out with eachother for the first time yesterday.

And I MUST SAY that it wasn't that great:/

But appearently I was spectacular! He said, "Damn girl! That was a kiss that could knock a guy's clothes off!"

That brightened my day :D

I was almost late for Spanish because of it though.

So I'm still working on getting my Gaga pics up ^_^ i havent been able to because they're on my phone and I lost my USB cord :/

I lose that Goddamned thing all the time :)

BUT ON ANOTHER NOTE:

I feel absoutley terrible for something I just did, and I'm sure you'll probably hate me too.

You see, if you'll rmemember, I was at one point talking to this guy named Daniel.

He tried to play my friend Chelsie and me.

And epicly failed because Chelsie and I tell eachother EVERYTHING.

Well, there was a HELL OF A LOT MORE to that story but I'm just going to leave it at that >_>

ANYWAYS

Chelsie, my bff Shelbi, and myself have been plotting great revenges >:)

The first one wasn't even planned; it was more or less dropped into our laps:

This girl named Heather got a pic from Daniel of his dick.

Heather is a lesbian....so she was like, "OMG!!!"

and she showed a bunch of people, including the three of us.

I wont go into details but i have to say he was.....umm...**cough** quite inadequate

So word got around about Daniel's "little Problem"

oh, life was good :D

ahh, but then I think we went too far in what we just did.

You see, there's this girl named Jenny.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this so please don't hate me, but Jenny is probably one of the most unattractive girls I've ever seen.

She's mean.

She's rude.

But at the same time i feel bad for her because I would be mean and rude too if I was her :/

Well, Daniel's locker is right next to mine.......

SO

Shelbi and I write this LOOOONG love note to Daniel saying it's from Jenny.

We put things in there like, "I want you to be the Edward to my Bella (Jenny is obsessed with Twilight)....I think your braces are cute! I just got mine off so we wont get stuck when we make-out!"

it took up a whole page.

We didn't write her name on the paper, we just put her initials.

But I know that will be enough.

I feel like a real bitch now though.....I mean I probably shouldn't, beacuse Jenny's a bitch and Daniel's a dick, but still.....

Well, it's too late to take anything back now.

I can't admit to it because then everyone will know that the whole "Daniel Drama" is still bugging me.

I'll burn in hell before I admit that.

But at the same time I feel guilty...........UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

What do you guys think? Am i a horrible person??

yea well i havnt had internet in a while so i havnt been here haha obvious i guess..

flusay music is going well still working on our first ep will let you know when we upload our tracks just pollishing them off haha.

nothing and allot goes on here drama drama that i just dont understand i dont get why if people dont like you cause shit for no reasion? its silly haha if i dont like someone i just well dont hang around them but im not rude i just dont see the point in it really.

hope your all well xoxo flugel

so I've done basically nothing this past week in school.

I know I'm going to fail this chemistry quiz.

Uuuuugggghhh....i don't really care though.

I've had so much on my mind lately. Dakota (my bf) is the only one whose making me feel any better.

How? I have no idea because I don't even know what's wrong wirh me:/

ahhh, i just lied.

I do know what's wrong with me. I just choose to be in denial about the situation.....

uuuugghhhh.....his best friend, Mike, is in love with me.

I don't mean stupid teen goofy love, i mean HEAD-OVER-HEELS-CRAZY-IN-LOVE!!!!!

its driving me crazy because I feel like I'm driving a rift between them.

OMFG WHY DOES SOME STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPEN EVERY TIME IM INTERESTED IN A GUY????

but anyways....enough of THAT drama.

I saw the GaGa.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

it was epic.

It was rapture.

Today while walking home from school i passed three consecutive streetlights--atop each one was a seagull.

Only four months until summer. Gosh I can't even wait.

School is so annoying.

Right now I should be writing a DBQ essay. But instead i'm searching more music to put on my iPod. It's kind of overloaded with Lady Gaga at the moment...not a bad thing, but I need a little diversity.

I realize maybe all of 5 people will read this blog. What's weird about blogs is that I think it's more about being written than exposure. (Wow, I almost just quoted from Sydney White)

It's weird how you can think one way about yourself and others see you totally differently. It's funny how people I have never talked to in my life seem to judge me the harshest.

I love the internet. You people are brutally honest x]

(Josh Farro)

I sighed."Mom Do I Really Have To Go?" I asked

"Yes Joshua."Said My Mom

I closed the zipper to my suitcpicked it up and walked down the stairs.I didn't want to leave California.I was going to Franklin,Tennesse  to live with my Older Sister and her husband for the summer.The only reason why I was going to go live with them was because I have been failing durning the schoo year and I almost got arrested for drunk driving.So today I was going to go to my Older sisters house in Franklin,Tennesse for the summer to go to this stupid summer camp.I couldent wait for this summer to finish and hasent even started.

"Im Ready."I Sighed

"Okay Get Your Stuff in the car and we'll head on out."Commanded my mom

I walked out to the garage and put my SuitCase and DuffleBag In The Trunk Of The Car.I closed the trunk and walked over to the passenger door.I opened the door and sat in the seat.I slammed the door closed and waited for my mom to get in the car and to start Driving me.Screw Summers! I Hate them!

(Hayley Williams)

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck! I hated my mom! She was making me go to some stupid came for the summer just because she found Drugs in my room!Yes I have been doing drugs but my mom had to reason to be in my room! Why does she always have to look at stuff that are'nt here's! The Camp she was sending me to was a camp for kids who are "Trouble Teens".Who cares! I sure don't! If I want to do drugs I will! I would be leaving for the camp tommorow morning.I hated this summer already and it hasent even started! Screw Summers! I hate them!

How much I wished I could have perfect parents. Perfect friends. A bigger house. A perfect life. I knew I could never have that. As much as I tried to deal with the fact that I was just another person roaming the earth, I couldn't get over the feeling that I was worthless. I lived in small apartments that were uncared for and disgusting. walls

My parents are drunks who always called me fat. Making me feel like I was nothing important in their lives and demonstrated it by afflicting me with pain, emotional and physical. Making me feel insecure seemed to be their goal in life. Throwing me against walls and holding me down just seemed to be their form of fun. I was miserable and wished I could just disappear to never see them again.

When I was in elementary, I had no friends. I always sat at a bench alone, watching people look down on me and laugh. I would face the floor and turn red, trying to block the laughter, while inside the pressure was killing me slowly. In middle school everyone called me the 'weird' girl. The ugly girl.

Just remembering everything made tears break out immediately. The banging on the bathroom door was getting louder and louder. I could feel my fathers fists hitting the door as I sat against it trying to keep it closed. Ares, my puppy, was curled against my chest, as if it could sense the fear running through my body. I ran my hand through its soft fur trying to comfort it and calm myself down. I wouldn't open the door. I knew what would happen.

"Open the door now!" My dad yelled against the door. His words stung. "Why? All your going to do is fuck me up. You damn drunk should leave me alone and go die instead!"

My sobs covered my frustration and anger. He would take my dog. He would take me and try to kill both of us. He almost succeeded it once but I'm not going to let him do it again. Ares was the only good thing in my life. In my 14 years of life. The banging against the door got louder and louder and louder.

I had to get out fast, before he broke the door down. I began to panic and look around. My senses went blank. The only thing I could hear were my own sobs and screaming. Endless screaming ripping through my head. I put down my rottweiler and let it roam around the bathroom floor. I looked around, trying to concentrate despite the screaming in my head. I saw an escape.

The window above the toilet was small but I could fit. I stood atop the toilet, reaching for the window lock and attempting to open it. After a few seconds of struggling, it came loose. I opened the window completely and felt the cool night breeze hit my skin. It whirled into the room so cleanly, with the scent of freedom following it.

Before leaving a would make them pay. At least as much as I could. I quickly searched through the cabinets. I found it. I searched my pockets for the lighter I used to smoke. Different thoughts were passing through my head. I took a step toward the cloth made shower curtain. I stopped for a second and actually thought about what I was about to do but that didn't stop me. I grabbed my dog and gently placed him outside the window. " Stay here boy." I said, watching him sit and wag its tail at me.

The bangs were devastating now. Slowly I raised the Tag container, aiming it toward the shower curtain. I raised the lighter and lit it up in front of me.

"You can all burn in hell!" I sprayed the bottle and immediately there was a flame on the curtain, quickly devouring it with its heat. The flames were tall and seemed to endlessly flicker. I glared at the curtain as a feeling of satisfaction made me smile. I ran to the window quickly squeezing through and landing in the soft., fresh scented grass. Before closing the window, I heard the door hit the tile floor. I picked up Ares and ran as fast as I could toward no where. That's the moment I was released from my parents imprisonment. My heart was beat rapidly as I felt my feet softly making contact with the sidewalk.

Finally I was free. Finally I had a reason to live. Finally I could live in peace.

So im new to this website. Im going to try my best so lets see how it goes! This story is more drama than anything. later on ill post love strories.

I was told to state my final thoughts only if I was willing to say them. I didn't know if I was or not. I didn't know if I could even speak. I looked in to the darkness surrounding me and saw the inside of an old, torn down warehouse. I tried to hold back the tears but the only thing I wanted to do was forget. Just for one second fall into an eternal sleep. I slowly became drowned by reality when I felt the cold metal of the gun against my head.

I tried to think of an escape route, but I knew it was to late. I was stuck. I felt my body getting heavier and heavier until my strength gave out and my knees slowly met the floor, keeping my head down in shame. I finally looked up, staring at my love. Her dark red hair blocked her eyes and her perfect complexion stunned me. She was beautiful, but she looked paler than normal. I couldn't find a hint of emotion in her lips. I was so stupid for believing every word she said but she wasn't the same person that I first smiled at. Her eyes weren't that dark and her look wasn't that cold and denying.

"I don't have time for this. Speak up now!" He said. This guy I didn't even know. This guy who was holding a pistol against my skull.

Id never spoken to him in my life but I never liked him. There was something wrong in his voice, as if it wasn't his. At first glance he seemed innocent but now I knew the truth. His words where deceiving and his eyes hurt like needles whenever I looked into them, but at the same time I couldn't look away.

I tried to find the courage to somehow say what I wanted to. "I..." I looked down at the blood-stained floor. Was that my blood? That pissed me off. She had lied to me, hurt me, and now this? My anger rose higher than ever and if it wasn't for the group surrounding the guy, I would have gotten up and taken one shot at the bastard. One last shot.

"You can all burn in hell!" I looked up at the girl I thought I once knew. Deep inside me I knew I didn't mean it for her, though I was about to die in front of her and she just stood there. Id promised I would give my life for her and now I was paying for those words. I lifted one hand up at her. "Especially y.." I heard a click go off next to my ear followed by a sharp pain in my head and numbness spread through out my body. The last thing I saw was desperation and regret flash through her face before my body hit the floor hard. I felt a tear run down my face and my heart go cold...then my eyes closed.

WTF???????? So now there are so many more wannabe "I AM TILA'S BABY DADDY" dudes coming out of the woodworks!!!!!!!! See who is now claiming to be the father of my child.....smh....

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHO'S MY BABY DADDY???

I must first and formost say that I sincerly apologize to everyone who reads my fanfic. I've been having some personal issues lately, and because of it, my writing has suffered. I plan on posting the next chapter by the end of the week if all goes well.

And yes, I'm still working on your oneshot Laurie. Don't worry. It' will be epic:)

Oh, and your Ryden Drawing<33

BUT ANYWAYS I suppose i must ask of your opinions again my dear readers:

The other day, I was informed of a school dance. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A SCHOOL DANCE BEFORE AND I WAS MAJORLY PUMPED! I don't want prom to be my first dance, so naturally, I start prowling for a date. Well, I snagged one. He's pretty damn cute and I was so exicted and i couldn't wait for the dance!

Haha, until he plasters all over his myspace how much he misses his ex.

The only reason this bothered me so much was because he was more than just a date. We were having some seriouse, "I like you" conversations and I was beginning to think I might have myself a man pretty soon.

Well I got pissed by all of this and said, "If you miss your ex so much, then just go to the fucking dance with her!"

And that was the end of that.

Well in my moment of distress, I IM my friend Steven and tell him everything. And he, being the friend I thought he was, told me he would take me to the dance.

I was stoked because Steven is a HOTTIE!!!!

But he said he would only go is his gf said it was ok.

Well, she appearently looked at my myspace and promptly told him no.

So I ask her why not.

She says, "Because I fucking told him no, cunt!"

I am very polite to this girl the whole time, and she still sreams at me and curses at me until I snap and call her a nurotic jealous psycho bitch.

haha, well she calls Steven up and tells him "everything" i said to her,

Then he drops me a message that says, "Fuck you. I never want to talk to you again."

So as I sit on my bed crying, looking at the little screen on the ipod, I relpy, "Ok. whatever" and hit send.

That was one of the hardest messages I've ever had to send.

I thought steven was my friend. I thought I could count on him, and for him to say those words to me ripped me apart.

So now I'm date-less, bf-less, steven-less, and mad at myself for letting things get like this. I'm sorry I haven't been posting anything really worth reading lately. These are justmy problems and I just want someone to lend and ear, and tell me what they think.

Thanks for reading

Firstly i need to vent some anger

so last night i go to my lover's house, where she was supposed to be meeting me, and i get inside and her mom is like "oh she's over at her friend Courney's house" so i'm like oh, ok she just got caught up there and she's on her way!

so i waited and waited, and waited, and WAITED, but nope, no, my boo never shows up!!!

then at like ten thirty when i'm getting ready to leave she comes in, drunk as a fucking hobo, and is like yelling at me for no reason, and then she decides that she wants to make out with me and i'm like, "BITCH PLEASE" so i leave cuz by that point i'm piss

and she's been texting me all day that she loves me and blah

now i found out, she was with her ex all night last night!!1

idk what the hell to do guys!!!

ANYWAY

moving on from that SHIT

NOW TO THE DRAWING THING!!!

so my friend Samuella and me were looking up shit online and she was like google "gay guys kissing" i was like, um, WHY?

she was like just do it

so i did

and it got me thinking about something

SO

if any of you all out there can draw

i was wondering if you could take some of the following pics and convert them into Ryan and Brendon kissing of holding eachother in that pose

it's ok to say no of course

lol

i was just wondering???

THANKS SO MUCH

*LOVE LAURIELLEN*