diary Blog and Journals

Good Day Everyone!

So it's been almost 2 whole days now that I have been off of Twitter since my last rampage on there! LOL....I have noticed that a lot of my #TilaArmy has been trying to start new trends like #DontBlockTila and #BringTilaBack !  Awww I must say, that is really really sweet of you guys!  Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! hahaaha!  No but seriously,  I do miss being on there but only becasuse of you guys, but like I said, it's good to take some time off from being on there anyway, although I'll miss u guys, and yes, Twitter does feel empty without me now doesn't it? Oh well....at least I can still talk to ya'll on THS here......

So today I decided to post a blog because it's a beautiful Sunday today!  I'm sitting  with my laptop right by the patio window that looks out onto the beautiful tree's outside up on the Hills, overlooking the whole city of Hollywood.  God it's so pretty up here....*sigh*  Anyway,  so last night I had a really wierd dream.  You know how sometimes you'll have a really, long dream and once you wake up, you can only remember bits and pieces of it??  Well that's how mine was like.  It's as though I was dreaming for 8 hours straight and can only remember like, 3 hours worth of dream material haha!

Sometimes I'll wake up and I'm just astounded by the sheer silence that runs through my house.  You can barely hear the wind blowing and the trees whistling outside.   The world is so still right now where I am.  Nothing is in motion.  Nothing is moving.  Even Onyx is just laying on her doggie matt, with her eyes closed, as she takes a nap through this silent day.  Where is everyone?  I have this random aching feeling in the pit of my stomach.  This feeling of missing NYC.  I don't know why but I really miss being in NYC right now.  Did you guys know that I used to live there a few summers ago?  I had a nice little apartment right by the Hudson River.  I was a free spirit roaming around NYC all by myself.....well.....I guess that's the funny thing about me.....I've always been this loaner.  Which is really ironic because I also have this public image and persona where I am "TILA TEQUILA, THE BISEXUAL PARTY GIRL!"  When really.....if I am not out working, then you'll most likely find me somewhere peaceful and quiet.  Either reading a book or writing essays.  As you can see, I do love writing.  I love blogging.  I love anything that allows me to express my mind and share it with the world.  Maybe that has something to do with me being so quiet???  Is that it???  is that why I enjoy writing so much, is because I'm quiet??? hahahah!  I guess that makes sense in a way.  Don't mind me, I'm just rambling about today.  This blog really isn't about anytyhing.....just "WHAT IS TILA THINKING RIGHT NOW?"  thoughts........I am writing everything as I am thinking.  So these are literally my random thoughts.  Sorry if it's not making much sense, but hey....I guess that's what Random Thoughts are for huh?

*sigh*  Anyway,  I feel like I miss someone right now.  I miss someone but I don't know who!  Do you guys ever get that feeling sometimes?  Where you feel like you really miss someone, or something, but yet you don't really know who or what it is exactly that you're missing?  I guess maybe I'm just feeling a little nostalgic this afternoon.  With the weather slowly changing and all.  As a matter of fact, I feel like this EVERY single fall/winter.  For those of you who are really hardcore "TILA FANATICS"  you'll know by now that I get like this EVERY fall/winter, and how much I love the Summertime.  I'm totally 2 different people when it's Summer and Winter.  It's ike.....Jane comes out for the entire Winter.  I guess this is my way of saying goodbye to everyone.  Maybe that's what I am missing??  Maybe I'm already missing the Summer?? Because Tila is about to take off now and Jane, my other personality.....will now start to take over.  I won't be here anymore....but Jane sure will be.  I guess I just want to say take care and I love everyone.  Thank you for being here with me through this year  This Summer has been one of the BEST Summer's EVER!  I fell in love so many times and have met so many incredible people that will be in my hearts forever........

As for the Winter.....hmmmm......maybe Jane will finally find someone that will love her so she doesn't have to be so mean anymore?  Well I hope she gets a chance to Fall in Love this Winter and shack up with someone special....just for her.  I don't think she has ever dated anyone except for 2 people her whole life.  Me?  Oh wow....I have dated pretty much EVERYONE! hahahaha!  Tila is the fun, happy, free-spritited, and very spunky little Girl.  I do love her.....but Jane....she's quite difficult.  A very dark and complex woman who likes to be by herself.  Tila is always out, smiling, laughing, and a very likeable person.  She makes friends quite easily and everyone seems to love her.  Jane.....well....like I said....she's only dated 2 people her whole life and those 2 people were just like her.  Dark, and wierd.

With that said.....even though I am packing up my bags and getting ready to leave until the Spring returns next year, I just wanted to take a moment this day to write to you guys and let you all know that I am leaving but that I will miss you!  But don't worry....I'll be back soon enough!  Just think of Happy thoughts and soon enough Tila will be back to make you all smile again!  I love you and please take care of each other!  As or Jane.....she should be here any minute.  You guys be nice to her.  She may be difficult.....but she's pretty cool once you get to know her.  At least you'll always know that Jane doesn't bullshit with you.  She'll tell you straight up what she thinks and how everything is.....she's funny.  She's almost like a Goth Chick......Let's all hope Jane gets to fall in Love this Winter ok????  Who do u think she would make a good couple with???  Oh God....she would KILL ME, if she knew I was talking about her in this way!!  She always have to act so tough and hardcore like she never needs anyone....but me personally?  I think it would be nice for her to find someone special!  Shhhh!  Don't tell her I said this!! lol

Anyway.....ya'll take it easy!  I'll be back every once in a while to check in with you all and see how you're doing and what you're up to!!!  I gotta get focused on these projects I'm working on now!  Until next time........take it easy!  Love ya!

Love,

Tila