deathnote Blog and Journals

I didn't have time to post my banner last week :o Done it today!

So, I'm a greeter in work tomorrow. First time ever. Well, it invloves using a microphone to make announcements, so it should be interesting. It makes me happy.

Here is a link to a clip of Takeshi's Castle. I was crying with laughter the first time I saw this. I could not breathe! I'm glad I found it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jM-8Lz9qsE

And finally, I found these today:

Isn't he just the sweetest? Sweeter than his own blood/sugar level ;) And...

The real thing! :D

Anyway I'm starting to drool on my keyboard, so I'm gonna post now...

DAN'S POV

2:00PM

After explaining everything about the job to Patrick - that its always a 2-man job, you never go alone - I decide to call Jay's parents. I can explain the situation, saying that I barred him, and while doing my job and can be secretly seeing whether the Death Note worked.

I pick up the phone and dial Jay's home number. We kept a record since he was a repeating offender. "Hello, this is a member of security staff at the local superstore, regarding your son Jay. He attempted to shoplift again today and I had to bar him, since it wasn't his first attempt. I thought I should tell you what ha..."

"He won't be bothering you anymore! He died when he came home!" the person on the phone cries.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know. Sorry to hear. Bye." I hang up the phone. "It worked Ryuk!"

"Of course it did."

"Now, I have to decide what to do about that boyfriend. I have to find a way of killing him and make Amanda think that he's horrible."

"Why do that Dan?"

"Because if he just dies, she'll be grieving for him and won't want to go out with anyone. I think if she's on the rebound after breaking up with him, it won't be so bad."

"Nice!"

"First, I need his name."

AMANDA'S POV

"Time for your break" the clothing department manager Charlotte smiles "You and Yomi can go together. Go and get him."

"Thanks Charle" I walk into the warehouse. "Yomi, break!"

"With you? Lovely!" I hear behind the boxes.

"Hurry up I'm freezing!"

He laughs and walks around the boxes as slow as he can.

DAN'S POV

I'm on my break when they walk in laughing together. They sit on one of the sofas and hold hands. 'That's gonna be me soon, pretty-boy' I think to myself as I drink my coffee. Ryuk cackles. I'm glad no-one can see him or hear him unless they touch the Death Note.

"I thought you'd never leave that warehouse."

"Oh good. I'll have to walk faster next time won't I?"

"Cheeky!"

"Why do you call me that again?"

"Cos your surname 'Chiba', and you are cheeky. 'Cheeky Chiba'."

Right, I got a surname to work with. Now I need his first name.

"Heya love-birds." Someone comes in and sits another of the sofas. I've seen him, he works on checkouts. Black hair, dark eyes, related to that Chiba guy.

I look at the time. My break is over. I stand up and put my empty cup in the bin. Walking past the happy little group, I discreetly look at his name badge. And leaving the canteen, I wonder what I'm going to do to Yomi.

OK so a quick update. Been in work all day, went home briefly, down my dad's now, almost ready to leave. Just one chapter this week. To keep you waiting... ;)

I am now addicted to the world-famous gameshow Takeshi's Castle! Had me cryin' with laughter.

L'S POV

I am pleased to see my headquarters still stand. They must have been kept for my successor. It has been a while since I walked through this building. And now I am doing it alone.

I revise the rules of this new notebook:

How to use it:

Here are some of the links i have saved up over the time, they are a list of links to Death Note related information sites and fan sites.

 

Wiki

Wikipedia

Death Note fan Site

Episode Guides

I made that banner myself! I found the closest text I could to look like the Death Note, filled in the dots, and used L's and Near's letters.
If it was to be a movie, the soundtrack would include: Opening Credits - Boys Be Suspicious, probably a few songs mentioned in the fic would be thrown in for good measure, and definitely Alumina, Raven Loud Speeeaker, and Mahora would be used in the end credits. Its only fair Alumina is used, since it was in the Death Note anime. Raven Loud Speeaker just suits the mood perfectly and I do love that song too. All by Naitomea, the band Yomi is in.

So, CH3 :)

DAN'S POV

I tell Ryuk I'll think about it, and invite him home with me. He says he has to follow me anyway, either until I give up the Death Note or when he sees me die. That's a bit morbid... But he also said that he could write my name in his own Death Note, before adding that he wasn't threatening me but it may be an option that he'll have to consider eventually. I may be lucky. I could just give up the Death Note when I get what I want, before it even gets that far.

It took Ryuk a while to get comfy in the passenger seat of my car. He's really tall! We finally arrive home.

"I've never travelled in a car before. On a bus once... it had a lot more leg-room."

"On a bus... the last time you came down?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen.

"Yes... apples?!" he says, his eyes open wide when he sees the bowl of fruit on the table.

"You like apples Ryuk?"

"Like 'em?! I LOVE THEM! Do you mind?"

"Go ahead."

He flies towards the table at an alarming speed before taking a big bite out of an apple. "Ohh... its been years my fruity friend! Juicy! Yum!"

"Get a room!"

Now, to decide what I am going to do...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have decided to use it. It may have other advantages, not only for getting my girl. Since I work as a security guard, I can ensure shoplifters never return. I'm sure that will work in my favour for promotion. I can use those criminals to check the extent of the notebook's power. I can practise using it, and then get rid of that annoying boyfriend, and then sweep her off her feet.

I pack the notebook in the bag I take to work and leave, Ryuk following close behind.

AMANDA'S POV

"I come bearing a gift."

I look up from tidying the desk during this rare moment of not having a queue, and see Ed. Ed is Yomi's cousin, he works downstairs on the checkouts, and like his cousin, he is also very musical. He has lived here most of his life, and I knew him before I met Yomi as he has been working in this superstore for a while. Ed has a shopping trolley in front of him, full of goods from nearly every department.

"Doing left-overs today?"

This is another part of a checkout operator's job. During quiet times they can be pulled off the checkout and given a basket or trolley of items, which they have to take around the store and put back where they belong.

"Yep! These are yours?" He says holding up a mangled mess of coat-hangers.

"Knotted like a pretzel. You know where they go. I'll sort 'em later."

I let him behind the desk, and he puts them in the box.

"Looks like I brought them up at the right time."

"Yeah I was starting to run out. I've had a lot of returns today. I'm just working on putting them all back. Thanks Ed."

"See you later 'Mands."

DAN'S POV

"So Ryuk, let's see this special power" I say as I watch the screens. I spent most of the weekend working out the rules of the Death Note. I think I understand now. I can write a cause of death and details in 6 minutes and 40 seconds, and if I don't write a cause of death the person will die of a heart attack in 40 seconds. I can kill a person any time within 23 days. And all I need is a name and face.

3RD PERSON POV

Shielding his eyes from the light, the man groans and sits up.

"Oh good, you're awake. Or should I say alive... I don't know."

"Huh? What am I doing here? Where am I?"

"You're in Japan. Where else?"

"But, I'm dead."

"Not anymore you're not."

The man turns around to see a beautiful young woman standing behind him - blond hair, blue eyes, white T-shirt and white jeans, and a mystical glow about her. She holds a white notebook close to her chest.

"How?"

"This notebook I made can reverse killings carried out by the Death Note. You are a kind man, sacrificing your life to stop the mass-murderer known as Kira. And I think you deserve this." She gives the white notebook to him. "As was with the Death Note, I must now follow you to make sure you are using it, and using it correctly. The rules are on the inside of the cover. My name is Jeruein Calinega."

"Nice to meet you. I am L."

So L has returned! But you'll have to wait until next week ;)

So, apologies for not posting last week. Believe me, I tried, but I think Buzznet crashed or something. Technology huh? I'm sure it hates me. Sometimes the feeling's mutual.

So anyway, I was going to say that I have decided to tag Patrick and Pete, since they are in it a lot more than I thought near the end. Its only fair.
I also realised that I hadn't posted a photo of Ryuk in my list of main characters. He is quite important, so I'll post him:

Hmm... does he look familiar to you?

HA! Ahh sorry it had to be done! Actually my friend (not a FOB fan) pointed it out when I was watching the video. That was last year, before I'd seen Death Note.

Anyway CH2.

AMANDA'S POV

"Thank you. Bye" I say to a customer as I finish serving them. The queue seems endless. It usually is around this time of year, with people buying presents for Christmas. I am just about to call "next please" when I feel someone tapping me on the shoulder.

I hear his voice "Hey..."

I turn around to see Yomi standing behind me, looking up at me with a big smile on his face "Ready to go?"

I see Kelly, another colleague, walk by. "Hey Kel, I'm going home. Please can you take over? Thanks."

"No problem. See you both tomorrow" she says as we get in the elevator.

DAN'S POV
There she is with HIM again. I wish he were out of the picture. If he wasn't around, I'm sure she'd go out with me. I don't know how much more I can ta...

I jump when I suddenly hear something hit the floor behind me. I turn around to see a black notebook on the floor. Where did that come from? No-one else is in the room. Oh well... I pick it up and look it. Engraved in white on the front: 'Death Note'. Huh? I flick through it to find blank pages in it, well, with the exception of printed lines, and something written on the inside of the cover.

I return to my chair and read it: How to use it: The human whose name is written in this note...

 ...shall... die?! What the hell is this?! Where did it come from?

"It came from me, I'm giving it to you" an eerie voice comes from behind.

I turn around to see a strange creature, with wings and sharp teeth. I must be hallucinating.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"Oh how rude of me, I'm Ryuk. I'm a Shinigami."

"A what?"

"Oh yes, I keep forgetting I'm not in Japan. I'm a God Of Death."

"This can't be real."

"It is. I want to give this notebook to you. It contains my powers."

"Why me?"

"I've been watching you recently. I know you pine for that woman. So..."

"You've been watching me?!"

"Yes. We can watch the human world from our realm. So..."

"Why?"

"Don't interrupt me all the time and I'll explain! Its a rotting world, and we get bored."

"We?"

"Jeez you ask a lot of questions... Yes there are more Gods Of Death, and we have nothing to do. Anyway, after the fun I had last time I dropped a notebook..."

"You've given a notebook to a human before?"

"I dropped it and some random teenager picked it up. This time, I've chosen to give it to a selected person - you. Which comes back to where I started, I know you like that girl. I can read your thoughts, and I know you dislike that man. So I want to watch what you do with your new powers. If you want to use it..."

"And what happens if I don't use it Ryuk?"

"I'll take the notebook back and erase your memory of it. So, are you gonna use it or not?"

I'll post another in a sec to make up for last week. Hang on...

And here's Chapter 1.

Please excuse me, I just found a photo of Naitomea's Yomi on Buzznet. He's dressed as an angel: wearing all white, showing off his fit body, with angel wings and a blue sky behind him (o_o). Oof!

Oh yeah. This story is posted in "points of view", the first I've posted in that format since I usually write 3rd-person.

AMANDA'S POV
I shiver as I walk into the warehouse, the cold air making my body shake and my breath visible. It was so much warmer on the shop floor where I worked, but I had just been asked by a customer for larger size of an item of clothing - a black coat from menswear - so I offered to look out here to see if we had that size in stock. It's so cold I'm even considering putting the coat on!

I walk down the isle where we keep men's clothes and look for the correct item. Everything looks the same! I suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around my body from behind me, instantly warming me up. I feel the person behind me stand on their toes to make themselves a bit taller. Then the person puts their head on my shoulder and waits for a few seconds before opening their mouth to speak. "Whatchya doin'?"

Yes, he's my boyfriend. I smile and hold the coat in my hand up for him to see. "I'm looking for this in a Large..."

"Oh that style coat is over here." He says as he puts his feet back on the ground, returning him to his normal height, and releasing me from his warm embrace to lead me by the hand to the coat I'm looking for.

"Jeez, your hands are freezing Amanda!"

"Maybe that's because it's freezing out here! How can you work out here without your jacket on?"

"I do a lot moving around and use a lot of energy" he says as he releases my hand to look along the rail for the item. "You work on the warm shop floor and do squat! Other than shout 'Next please!'" He laughs.

"Hey now! I do more than that! I have to come out here to help customers get what they want!"

"And that's why it's so cold out here for you. You're used to working in warm conditions, you leave your jacket behind the service desk because you feel like you're gonna fry out there, and that's why the cold air out here hits you like a ton of bricks. It's the opposite for me. Walking onto the shop floor to get something feels like I've walked into a sauna, even though I'm from a warmer country."

"But wouldn't the cold air out here affect you more then?"

"... Hmm that's actually a fair point..." We both laugh. "Well as I said, I move around a lot. Maybe it takes my mind off the cold. And it's suprisingly cold for the middle of November anyway. Ahh! Here's a Large."

"Thanks a lot. See you later?" I ask.

"See you by the service desk at 5pm" He stands on his toes again to kiss me on the cheek. Yes, he's shorter than me. Only by a few inches, but I find it endearing.

"Bye Cheeky."

"Cheeky" is my nickname for him. His real name is Jun Chiba, but he usually goes by his stage name 'Yomi'. He's in a Japanese band called Naitomea (or 'Nightmare'), and they've moved to Britain to try and make some progress over here. He got a job in this superstore to earn some money in the meantime, and that's how we first met - he works on the same department as me and has the same uniform as me, but he works 'behind the scenes' in the warehouse and sorts out the stock while I work front-and-centre serving customers from behind the desk or tidying the shop floor. We both finish at the same time today, so we're going to meet each other and go home together.

DAN'S POV

I watch over her every day. I watch her walk through the staff entrance, and then I occasionally catch a glimpse as she walks through the shop. Then she goes upstairs. If she goes on the travellator, I see her getting off at the top. If she goes in the elevator, I watch her press the button to go up, and wait until the doors open to reveal the other floor. From then on, I occasionally see her walking around, doing her job, or serving customers. I watch her go down for a break and then return to work. And then I watch her go home. But I HATE it when I see her... WITH HIM.

He works in the warehouse. I sometimes see him too - moving rails, opening boxes, sorting items. I sit in this room, and watch the whole shop, on security cameras. I am one of the security guards here, and while I do my job, I see her.

It's not fair! He doesn't deserve her! I watch over her and protect her! He's in the warehouse sorting items and only sees her during the working day if she goes out the warehouse or he goes to the shop floor!

Something must be done...

So as promised, here's the prologue to this new fanfic. This is mainly an introduction for the people who haven't seen Death Note, so they know what this story is based on.

Still working on a cool logo/banner for this.

And I'm not going to put Fall Out Boy as tags since they only play a smaller part than I first thought. If their names are in the journal it acts as a tag anyway, I recently discovered. Also, the other Naitomea members - Hitsugi, Sakito and Ni-ya - now make appearances in the story. But since I didn't post a photo of them in my last journal (the introduction to the characters), just search "Naitomea" on Buzznet cos someone has posted LOADS!

And this is the first prologue for a story I've written, so sorry if it sucks... Enjoy!

PROLOGUE

THE DEATH NOTE IS A NOTEBOOK THAT IS CARRIED AROUND BY THE SHINIGAMI (GODS OF DEATH). THE SHINIGAMI ARE ABLE TO WATCH THE HUMAN WORLD FROM THEIR REALM, AND PROLONG THEIR OWN LIVES BY TAKING THE LIVES OF HUMANS. THEY DO THIS BY WRITING A HUMAN'S NAME IN THE NOTEBOOK. THE HUMAN WHOSE NAME IS WRITTEN IN THE NOTEBOOK WILL DIE. BUT SHINIGAMI ARE LAZY, THEY ONLY KILL WHEN THEY HAVE TO INCREASE THEIR LIFESPAN. SO THEY GAMBLE AND SLEEP.

ONE OF THE SHINIGAMI FOUND THIS LIFESTYLE VERY BORING AND MANAGED TO GET ANOTHER DEATH NOTE, WHICH HE DROPPED INTO THE HUMAN WORLD, KNOWING THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO STAY WITH THE HUMAN WHO PICKED IT UP. AND THE DEATH NOTE WAS INDEED PICKED UP, BY A TEENAGER IN JAPAN, WHO USED IT TO CREATE A CRIME-FREE WORLD. OF COURSE, THE POLICE WERE NOT HAPPY AND TRIED TO FIND THE KILLER, WITH THE FAMOUS DETECTIVE KNOWN AS L AS THE LEADER OF THE INVESTIGATION.

AND SO BEGAN A BATTLE OF WITS BETWEEN THE TEENAGER AND THE LEGENDARY DETECTIVE. AND THE REST, AS THEY SAY, BECAME HISTORY...

THIS STORY TAKES PLACE A FEW YEARS LATER. NOT MANY PEOPLE OUTSIDE JAPAN KNOW ABOUT THE DEATH NOTE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MYSTERIOUS DETECTIVE.

IN A SUPERSTORE, WHERE THERE ARE HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF EMPLOYEES, MANY MANAGERS, AND MANY DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS, THERE ARE MANY DRAMAS AND STORIES EVERY DAY. THIS ONE INVOLVES A HAPPY COUPLE AND THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO THEM, AND ONE MAN'S JEALOUSY...

| Death Note | The Swan Song; Chapter Four: Romance [Matt]

Five days ago you had encountered some...troubles. You had gotten into a fight with a girl, and her cronies decided it would be a good idea to beat the living shit out of you. Needless to say, your two black eyes were still recovering, the cuts were scabbed, you were still having respiratory problems, and you still had many unanswered questions.

The girls had been expelled from Wammy's after Roger consulted Watari with the situation, and Watari gave an immediate, unbiased reply. The girls had to pack their bags and leave for a new orphanage. It made you feel a bit guilty that they had to go to a less...well, superior orphanage, but then again...your black eyes, cuts and whatnot were telling you otherwise. You'd have a kind heart 'till the end.

You had been excused from classes, and were scheduled to return to classes tomorrow depending on whether or not it still pained you to raise your eyelids. You were confident in the fact that you'd be spending another day - or more - sitting on your bed with absolutely no human contact. Great.

You groaned as you rolled around on your bed, trying to find a comfortable spot to rest. You found yourself in a curled position, but quickly lowered a leg, then decided your pillow wasn't fluffy enough. You sat upright, fluffed your pillow, and rested on your back. You then rolled to your side, found yourself in a curled position, but quickly lowered a leg, then you decided your pillow wasn't fluffy enough...

You could safely say that it had been a bit...repetitive...today.

Of course, as soon as you found yourself in a comfortable position, someone had softly knocked on the door. You groaned inwardly, but got up to answer it regardless.

You inhaled sharply when you felt a keen, knife-like stab near your heart. It was like that every time you got up. So, obviously, you refrained from getting up as much as possible.

With a hand carefully placed under your breast, you opened the door. You inhaled sharply again when you felt the stab, and you clenched your eyes shut. That too hurt, though, seeing as your eyes were still having a bit of trouble getting rid of the bruising. "Sorry..." you breathed. "It only seems to happen...when I try to stand up..."

"Sorry about that, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

You opened up one of your eyes to see the familiar face of your favorite red-headed gamer. "Matt, you can have a seat..." you offered as you took baby steps towards your bed. You eased yourself down onto the mattress, and then carefully leaned to the left to lie on your side. When you were relatively comfortable, you opened both of your eyes. "Sorry again, the only way I can get comfortable is if I'm lying down."

"Don't apologize," he waved, shaking his head. "I...should be the one apologizing."

You stared intently at the boy, awaiting his every word.

"I've been a real asshole. I'm not one to care about image, and I never have. I don't know why it got to me earlier...I felt really bad, because...I know you trust me. You really shouldn't put any faith in me though," he laughed, scratching the back of his neck, "I'm just a lazy dude. I don't give much thought to anything, and I'm sorry if it seems like I don't care...because that's really not the case-"

"Who...stood up for me the other day?" you interjected, wrapping yourself in your blanket as you watched him sit down on your rolling chair.

A light pink dusted Matt's cheeks, and he looked down at his feet. "That...was me."

Even though it physically hurt you, you raised your brows and lids to resemble that of a deer in the headlights. "You? But, why?"

Matt scoffed, "I'm not that mean! Geez, give me a break. As soon as those lies started spouting out of her good-for-nothing mouth I knew I had to do something. You're my friend. It seemed like that right thing to do."

So he's not annoyed by me? I'm his friend?

...Friend.

That's right. Just...friends...

"Thanks," you smiled.

"No problem," he smiled back. "Well, I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow..."

Your face contorted in confusion. "You're not in any of my classes..."

Matt's face did the same. "What? They didn't tell you?"

"Obviously not."

"Well, Roger bumped you up into a class for the higher level kids. He said it had been 'long overdue' or something like that. Mello's in that class, too."

"O-Oh..." you frowned. "I'm not really looking to succeed L..."

"Neither am I, but I somehow managed to be ranked third..." Matt shrugged and walked for the door. "Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow."

You nodded absentmindedly until he closed the door.

Suddenly you felt the need to ice your face to make sure you'd be in tip-top shape for tomorrow.

~*~

You groaned groggily as someone persistently knocked on your door. "Come in," you growled, wincing as you sat upright on your bed.

The door opened slowly to reveal Roger. He walked in, sat on your computer chair and rolled himself towards you, mumbling something about how it was far too early for him to be doing something like this. "How are you feeling?"

"Not so great..." you groaned, lowering your head onto your palms as you heaved a sigh.

Roger sighed, also, "So you don't think you can make it to class today?"

"See you in class tomorrow," Matt smiled and waved as he shut your door.

"I want to at least try," you looked up at him, nodding miserably.

"You don't look like you're too enthused about going to class," Roger stammered, placing his palm on your forehead.

"I'm not sick, Roger, I'm in pain," you growled, smacking at his hand.

Roger quirked a brow, a little agitated that you were being so rude this morning, but he guessed he couldn't blame you. He'd be rather cranky if he'd gotten beaten up by three girls, too. Especially since it would be humiliating, seeing as Roger is a grown man. "Right, sorry," he apologized, standing up as he wiped his hands off on his slacks. Children are just full of germs...

"Well, you better get ready if you plan on getting to class on time. We already placed your advanced placement books in your locker. If I'm not mistaken, your classroom is now B-206. It's located on the second floor. I do believe Matt offered to walk you there this morning, so you may want to stop by his room before you go off to your locker. Good luck," Roger mustered a not-so-enthusiastic grin as he walked towards your door. As soon as he closed your door behind him, a displeased frown replaced the grin. "Why couldn't I have chosen a job where there were no children within a 5 mile radius of the work place?" he shook his head, walking towards his office as he dodged the small children darting past him.

You groaned, combing your fingers through your hair. "Better get ready, then."

~*~

You looked like a mess. Sure, your clothes were perfect, your hair was perfect...but your face...

The bruises on your face were still apparent, and the cuts and scabs were all too noticeable. You knew you were either going to have people giving you unwanted sympathy, or you were going to be bombarded with rude jokes and hypotheses on how you obtained the nasty discolorations. Still, you were willing to endure the not-so-playful jabs at your well-being. You were willing to do so because you hadn't seen Matt in what seemed like forever.

Well, technically, I saw him last night. But that doesn't count! We barely even talked...

You made your way down the hall, trying to ignore the snickers and whispers surrounding you. You stood tall and relaxed, seemingly uncaring to those who were ogling you.

You weren't going to be a pushover anymore. You weren't going to be that girl that everyone used and walked on. Those days were over, and it took you two black eyes to realize it was time to stop being so nice to people you didn't know. Sure, you'd always be a nice girl (you'd hoped so, anyways), but from now on you'd only be that way to people who deserved it.

You breathed deeply before rapping your knuckles against Matt's door. Fumbling could be heard from the other side of the door, and you sighed, smiling. "C-Coming!"

A moment later, Matt swung the door open, breathing heavily. "Sorry! I woke up late this morning...just got out of the shower."

"I can tell," you laughed as you twirled a piece of his dampened red locks in between your fingers.

Matt laughed (albeit nervously), "Well, do you want me to show you the class?"

You nodded happily. You turned on your heel and bobbed up and down on your toes. "We need to stop by my locker first. Roger put my new books in there and it'd be pointless to go to class without my books."

Matt nodded absentmindedly. He shook himself from his thoughts and went to stand beside you. Wordlessly, you both began walking for the lockers. You noted how awkward it was, and frowned a bit. It was never awkward like this before...I wonder what's going on...

"Is something wrong?" you gazed up at Matt, whose focus was currently fixated on his shoelaces.

"Not really..." he lied, still incapable of giving you eye contact. "I'm just a little...tired."

"Ah..." you nodded, also gazing down at your shoelaces to avoid the rude looks people were giving you.

~*~

"Class dismissed."

All the children eagerly got up from their seat and dashed for the door. You, on the other hand, took a bit longer to put away your supplies and carefully place them in your book bag.

"Hey," Matt tapped on your shoulder. You pivoted your head to look up at Matt. "Did you pay attention...at all?"

You scoffed, "Of course I did!"

You gave a knowing sigh, "Do you need help?"

"Yeah..."

You smiled, "Sure, I'll help. But one has to wonder...since when did you care about receiving good marks?"

"Well, I plan on working with Mello in the future - he plans to succeed L, you know - and I want to be of some use to him."

"Ah, right, so what time should I go over?"

"Around 6-ish, I guess."

"It's a date," you smiled, but your face paled soon after you realized what you had just said. "N-Not like that, though! I mean, it's a study date. You know, I'm your tutor-"

Matt waved you off, laughing, "Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. I know what you mean."

"Stop blathering over each other, for god's sake. We have work to do, Matt," Mello growled, pulling at Matt's oversized shirt.

"R-Right! The project! I'll be there in a second..."

~*~

You frantically kneaded your shirt, trying desperately to get every wrinkle and stain out of sight. Inhaling a deep breath, you stepped forward and found yourself in front of Matt's door for the second time that day.

Why am I so nervous? It feels like I'm about to puke. Matt is a really good friend of mine, and for some reason...I felt nervous around him all day today...

Those girls must have given me some serious nerve damage...

You rose your fist to Matt's door and knocked gently. "Come in," came his reply. You inhaled once more before opening the door and poking your head in. You smiled softly (trying to lessen the pain as much as possible) and waved before slipping your whole body inside in the room.

Matt smiled, waving as he signaled you to sit in the sofa-esque chair beside him. You eased yourself onto the comfy seat and smacked your palms against the arm rest. "Alright, where to start...?"

"Proofs, probably. I wasn't paying attention and I don't quite understand the whole 'Angle, Side, Angle' thing."

"Gee, who were you staring at the entire time?" you teased, opening your book up to the proofs page.

"Tch. I don't like anyone in that class, trust me. I was playing my Gameboy the entire time."

Your heart rate dropped a bit when you heard that, but you quickly changed the subject to proofs to cover up your hurt. "Proofs are Geometric tools used to prove two triangle's similarity or congruency. For instance, because of the triangle sum theorem, Angle Angle [Or AA] is used to prove similarity because in every triangle, all three angles add up to 360 degrees. So, if you already know the measurements of two of the angles the other is guaranteed to equal the same thing. Are you following?"

Matt nodded, suddenly feeling drowsy already.

~*~

"Now, if the sides have a single dash through them, it means the sides are equal. So, under 'Reason' you would put 'given'."

Matt nodded, blocking out your words. He was too busy staring at the movement of your lips to pay attention to what you were actually saying. Unbeknownst to Matt, all of this staring had made him tempted. He began slowly but surely moving his face closer to yours - inch by inch. You continued chattering away, completely unaware as your index finger ran along the text of the book. You occasionally looked up at Matt, but not frequently enough to notice he hadn't been paying attention to anything you were saying.

"So, if you have a side with a single dash adjacent to a side with a double dash, you know those sides aren't congruent," you paused, feeling a slight draft. Your eyes dragged upwards, only to see Matt's eyes closed and centimeters away from yours. You resisted the urge to shriek or jump up in shock, and sat there, stunned.

Your heart thudded in your chest, your eyes wide and your swallows thick. Matt opened his eyes briefly to stare at your lips, consciously realizing what he was about to do. He then closed his eyes, and his dry, chapped lips brushed against your own. Still in a state of shock, you only sat there, eyes still wide and heart still racing. After he actually began kissing you, you found your eyelids fluttering to a close, and you instinctively placed your hands on his shoulders, pulling him forward. You had never kissed anyone before, so the only experience that you had was what you had seen in the movies.

...It seemed to be working well for you. Though, you never imagined your first kiss to be so damn painful.

Mello walked through the door. He wasn't necessarily shocked by what he had seen, but he cringed nonetheless. "I leave for ten minutes..."

| Death Note | The Swan Song; Chapter Three: Attraction [Matt]

"Roger was the only one who didn't notice how much time we were spending with each other. The other guys...they teased me for visiting you so late at night. I just really don't see you like that, and i'm sure you don't see me like that, either. It was just...awkward. I'm really sorry..."

You didn't know why those words pained so much. You didn't know why you felt an uncomfortable pressure in your chest when he said that, or why your stomach felt like it had dropped. You didn't know why you got so upset, yelled at Matt, and told him never to come back again. Was it out of anger? Jealousy? Was there some other girl he desired? Someone that wasn't you...

Why did that thought seem to cut through you like a knife? Matt was just a friend. That was clear from the beginning. What good would a relationship do you both? It would only bring stress; you befriended these kids to help them, not hurt them. Most importantly, why were you still dwelling on the subject?

You shook your head. Normally losing a 'friend' never bothered you this much. It was just that...Matt felt...genuine - right from the start. Instead of you following him around, he followed you around. Instead of you checking on him, he checked on you. He was just...perfect. You sighed again, slamming your fist into your knee as you growled. It was humiliating! Being so obsessed like this. You were obsessed with the thought of you guys hanging out together, obsessed with the thought of him feeling just as confused as you were, obsessed with the thought of a romantic relationship with him, obsessed with everything about him! You couldn't take it anymore!

You slowly crawled your way out of bed, slipping on a coat and some boots before making your way outside to deal with this mess. You needed to talk to him. You needed to tell him how you felt. How confused you were. How much those words had hurt you. He needed to understand you. And most importantly, you needed to understand him...

You made your way down the corridor, not caring that people laughed and pointed at you. Some children gave a small gasp when you walked by, and soon turned to whisper something in their friend's ear. Some of them would even make mock-disgusted faces when you walk by, and then laugh and high-five their friends for being so 'cool'. You felt an unfamiliar anger pulse through your veins. You felt an unusual need to beat up the next person who decided to fuck with you.

 

This was it. This was the last straw, you weren't going to take it anymore. After sitting back for years and letting people take advantage of you, you were done. Done.

"I don't know how a slime ball like you managed to snag someone as cute as Matt. He must have been desperate for someone to hang out with. I mean, who would willingly hang out with you?" the girl speaking snorted obnoxiously after 'calling you out'. You could already feel yourself twitching.

"Listen here, half-wit. I don't give a flying FUCK what you sons-of-bitches think of me. I. DON'T. CARE. ANYMORE. I spent years of my life at Wammy's trying to please all of you, and make you feel welcomed. This is where it ends. All you ingrates ever do is throw me away like some used up tissue. And trust me, you'll pay for it," you barked, the girl was shocked that you actually said something back to her, but smirked devilishly as soon as the shock had worn off.

"Yeah, we used you, so what? It was nice on our part, you know, putting up with you for as long as we did. No one can stand you, and that's the exact same reason Matt left you and doesn't talk to you anymore, because he can't stand you. You're an annoying little snot who tries to get up in everybody's business because you think that you can help us. Who ever said we needed help in the first place? NOBODY. WANTS. YOUR. HELP," the girl's face was inches away from yours, and she continued screaming even at such a close proximity.

You felt your heart begin to work a bit slower. Maybe...I forced myself on people...when they really didn't need me. Is that why everyone hates me? And Matt...can he stand me? Or is he just like everyone else...?
_

Matt had heard screaming in the corridor where his room was. He sighed, "Not another fight," and made his way towards the door. When he saw a group of children circled around two girls, he didn't expect you to be one of those two. His jaw dropped at what he had heard next, "Yeah, we used you, so what? It was nice on our part, you know, putting up with you for as long as we did. No one can stand you, and that's the exact same reason Matt left you and doesn't talk to you anymore, because he can't stand you. You're an annoying little snot who tries to get up in everybody's business because you think that you can help us. Who ever said we needed help in the first place? NOBODY. WANTS. YOUR. HELP."

What is this girl talking about? I never said that! What the hell? His heart began to beat faster; he could feel the heat radiating off of his skin. And when he saw you sobbing because of that stupid girl...it only fueled the flame.

He pushed his way through the crowd of kids who were all riled up to see you get the crap beaten out of you. Once he made his way to the front, he was terrified to see the girl pounce on you, and have two of her friends start punching you on the stomach and face as the main one held you down.
_

It...hurts...

You couldn't think clearly as the girls continued to relentlessly punch you. You tried kicking, but there was no way you could move your legs as this girl sat on your waist. You tried moving your hands, but she had pinned you down by the wrists. The only thing you could do was move your head, and all that did was make you feel more overwhelmed. The people...some of them were cheering, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Some of them were giving you pitied looks. Some of them...wanted you to get hurt. Your neck twisted left abruptly, and you let out an, "oof" before trying to regain your breath. You had just been punched in the face. After a punch to the face, they began ramming their hands onto your belly. The force of the hits to the stomach made you sit in an upright position, only to be hit back to the ground by another punch to the face.

You felt pitiful as your back pounded against the ground with each punch. Blood began pouring out of your nose and the inside of your mouth. You felt so...drained of energy. Powerless. Weak. Your eyes began closing on their own accord, and you welcomed the darkness that soon followed.

"S-STOP IT! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU PSYCHOS THINK YOU'RE DOING? I SAID STOP IT!" Matt screamed at the girls, but they really seemed to be having too much fun to care...

"You know you wanted to see her get the shit beat out of her," the girl smiled triumphantly from her place on your waist.

"FUCKING STOP IT YOU DUMB BITCHES! YOU KNOCKED HER OUT!" the girls finally stopped their ruthless beating and scoffed at Matt, "You actually like her?"

"I do! If you've got a fucking problem with that, then just leave," Matt growled. The girls rolled their eyes and walked off. "On second thought, come back..."

The 'leader' of the group smirked and turned around.

"You were pretty quick to jump on the chance to tell ___ why nobody likes her. So...you want to know why nobody likes you?"

"Enlighten me, please," sarcasm dripped from her voice.

"You're the kind of person that will follow everyone else and what they do. You don't set yourself apart from the crowd. You're an evil, narcissistic, bitch who thinks you're the hottest shit to walk the planet. You bother _____ because she helps people, while you're too lazy to get off your fatass for five seconds to try and make a difference. People like you are a waste of sperm and egg. Get a life."

The girl growled at Matt. She tried her hardest to maintain her tough exterior, but couldn't help but run away and cry. Everyone knew she had a big crush on Matt, so hearing that from him was heartbreaking. Not that Matt cared for bitches like her. The girl's friends glared at Matt before chasing after her, "WAIT! I'M SURE HE DIDN'T MEAN IT! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S THINKING! THAT EVIL WITCH HAS HIM UNDER HER SPELL!"

"What happened here?" it was Roger.
_

You woke up with the worst headache you've ever had in your entire life. And the worst part of it all was, you had no idea where you were, or why you were there. "Nnah..." you couldn't even form a proper sentence, let alone speak a single word. Your mouth felt swollen, your eyelids felt swollen. Your entire body was throbbing.

"She's awake!" it was Matt. You could recognize that voice anyday.

"M-M...att," it was a struggle to even move your tongue. So painful. What the fuck happened to you?

"Shhhh, don't talk," that was definitely Roger. Damnit! You didn't want to be quiet, you wanted to know what was going on! You couldn't move your legs, your arms, or your neck. It was as if you were paralyzed.

"Whut...harpen..." you hoped they could understand what you were saying. Was your tongue swollen, too?

Someone sighed, "You...got in a fight. Well, actually, you got jumped by three girls. You were only expecting to take on one...and two of the girl's accomplices popped up and just starting hitting you..."

You remembered now. Your stomach seemed to churn just thinking about it. They hit you so hard. It was almost as if...they wanted you to die. You remembered looking up at the girls who were so mercilessly beating you, and they were smiling. Enjoying the moment. Basking in the fact that they made you bleed, scream and cry.

You remember waking up slightly...and someone was insulting them...for you. Then you just blacked out again, and now you were here.

You were so confused...who would want to stand up for you?

 

Your calendar was ornamented with birthdays and celebrations, most of them were for people you were no longer friends with. They were just some of the kids whom you had shown around, and they decided it would be best to break it off with you because you were 'uncool'. They always found 'cooler' people to hang out with, and since they were done using you to prove that they weren't loners, you were as good as gone in their book. But, sadly, they remained on the pages of your calendar.

You had just added another date: Matt's birthday; all of the dates signified a vain hope that you could have a long lasting friendship. Just as the others, Matt seemed to have forgotten you. He hadn't visited you in nearly two weeks, and you often saw him following Wammy's second best - Mello - nearly everywhere. They were practically attached at the hip...just as you two were two weeks prior. Only, Mello wasn't nearly as benevolent to Matt as you were. Mello bossed him around and Matt did whatever Mello asked without a second thought. You wondered why in god's name would Matt want to hang out with someone like Mello when he could hang out with you! You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach when you realized, Gee, I bet that's what everyone's said about me. Why would I want to hang out with her when I could hang out with the coolest kid at Wammy's? You'd have to be an idiot to want to hang around her for that long!

Your breath quickened, and - as if it were a reflex - you buried your face in your hands. A familiar feeling of bleakness and pessimism gnawed at your being; your eyelids became dewy with tears until they overflowed and cascaded down your cheeks. You wheezed, letting out a shrill cry after every hiccuped inhale of breath. This occurred every time a 'friend' left you. You didn't even think you could count the number of times this has happened to you on your fingers and toes. You had no friends, and to make matters worse, you had never had a friendship or close relationship with anybody that could help you distinguish what is key in a friendship. It had always been rejection with you. Your parents rejected you, 'friends' rejected you, boys rejected you...

You were a mess. You figured you were a waste of sperm and egg, a meaningless blob of flesh destined for nothing but death's cold touch. You didn't want to live anymore. You couldn't handle not being able to interact with human beings. You couldn't handle the fact that on this planet of billions, not one person would accept you or take you under their wing. Not one person loved you, or cared for you in anyway whatsoever. It was a grim truth that you had to face everyday, as soon as you woke up from your dreams. The only time you were truly happy was when you were asleep. You would dream of having parents who loved you, who would go places with you, who would teach you right from wrong. They could share their wisdom with you, and set you on the right path in life. But you didn't have that. Everyday you had to wake up to the reality that the only sort of parents or guardians you had only cared for your amount of book-smarts. They only cared to train you to be the most intelligent, not the best you could be.

Your laments became louder and more drawn out, which in turn caused your chest to tighten and your muscles to spasm. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to live.

"Did I...make you like this?"

Your head shot up, and red tinged your cheeks. You stopped sobbing, but the tears still ran freely down your cheeks. How did you not hear him walk in?

You stuttered, "M-Matt, when did you get here? H-How much of that did you hear?"

"Well, you didn't really say much..." he scratched the back of his neck.

"O-Oh," your head plopped down in shame, you began staring at your toes in a desperate attempt to take away some of your edginess. He had seen you crying. How embarrassing. You hated it when people saw you in a susceptible state. You were always known as the buoyant person...and if anyone saw otherwise...they would make your life even more difficult than it already is.

"You didn't answer my question." His tone was guilty, "Did I do this to you?"

"By now, you've probably heard what everyone really thinks of me. And I don't blame you for not wanting to hang out with me...that's totally okay. I just thought I had finally found...a friend," you felt the tears beginning to form in your eyelids again. "It's not singlehandedly your fault i'm like this...but if we want to get technical, yes, i'm crying over you."

Matt frowned, he was sincerely sorry for you but he was unsure how he should handle the situation. "I never said I didn't want to hang out with you..."

"Then why haven't you visited me for two weeks? Why are you hanging around with Mello?"

You hated how possessive you sounded. You hated how obsessed you sounded. You just couldn't help it, though. You liked Matt. You considered him a friend and you were holding onto a shred of hope that he thought of you in the same way.

"I'm really sorry...and I know this is going to sound like such a bullshit answer, but..." He sighed, "Mello is my roommate now. Roger said that I looked too 'lonely' or something. I was perfectly happy being with you, to be honest, but Roger made me move in with Mello. That's why i'm hanging around him. Plus, when you actually get to know Mello, he's pretty cool. My intentions weren't to ignore you, though."

"...Why haven't you visited me, then?"

"I really don't want to hurt your feelings in any way. That's just not the kind of person I am," Matt made sure to make that clear. "Roger was the only one who didn't notice how much time we were spending with each other. The other guys...they teased me for visiting you so late at night, and it really didn't help that Roger said it was unacceptable to visit girls at that time of night. I just really don't see you like that, and i'm sure you don't see me like that, either. It was just...awkward. I'm really sorry..."

"Thank you for telling me that. All the other kids would just leave me and not tell me what I did wrong..." just as you had finally sobered up, you began crying again, "Alright, Matt, you can go. I understand now. Mello is second best at Wammy's - he's someone anyone would want to befriend. Me, on the other hand, nobody wants to be friends with me. And when someone actually does, their lives get made miserable as a result. You don't have to talk to me anymore. You're such a nice person, I wouldn't want you to be unhappy because of me. I have enough on my shoulders as it is, the last thing I need is someone to have a fucked up social life because of ME."

"It's not like that, I swear-"

"JUST GO! I don't need your pity," You shouted, pointing towards the door, "I know what you really think of me. You're just like everyone else! Just leave me alone! Don't you DARE come back!"

Matt's face softened, and his eyes became moist with tears. It was so frustrating to him! His entire life he had been pushed away by everyone he had grown close to. He thought he could confide in you. He thought you would be a friend to him. His past made him unable to trust people, and your past was similar if not worse. He understood why you acted this way. He understood you so well after only knowing you for such a short period of time...if you would just trust him as much as he trusted you...

He slugged his way towards your door, and just as he was about to shut it...

"Just know that i've never had a friend either."

He shut the door softly. You were left alone again to wallow in self pity.

It doesn't have to be like this...
...I don't have to be alone...
He could be there for me...
...But does he have the best intentions?
Or is he just another mindless clone made to elicit my misery?

_

Author's Note: I'm going camping for four days, but I already have chapter three and four written. I'll post them sometime when I get back.