Cobra Starship Blog and Journals

"Jonathan cook," she said, whoever he wasn't he was going to be okay.

"Pete don't cry," she said, he voice was stronger now, "everything going to be fine." she faked a smile, I knew she was faking but I 

didn't let her know that I knew.

The ambulance showed up almost a minute later, and they strapped her into a stretcher, in the light I could see her face was tear stained and she ha a black eye and bloody nose, they let me ride with her since I was the only one there. Jocelyne was conscience enough to give 
them her moms number, I guess she told them everything like insurance and all the information, and as much as she wanted to be on a plane ride back, she couldn't, or else the label would lose a lot of money. After a couple hours after the checked her out they let me see her.
She was sleeping so I just held her hand.

After a couple more hours she woke up.

"Pete!" she said, her voice was hoarse, she gave a huge smile. "you don't know how happy I was to see you."

I just smiled and was so happy that she was alive.

"I should've gone with you or something," I said, guilt clear in my voice.

"no, we can't change it, it doesn't matter." she said.

"but it does matter, If you haven't noticed, your kinda in the hospital." I said starting to get angry.

"please don't get mad," she pleaded, "I just need my boyfriend right now!" she said looking deep into my eyes, i still wanted to argue with her logic, but i didn't want to upset her.

"I'm sorry," I said and climbed into the bed with her.

She rested her head on my chest. Eventually she fell asleep again, I felt like the luckiest person ever. If she died I wouldn't know what I would have done.

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so this was short

but more soon

"Beckett!" I yelled from the stage, smiling to myself. "You better be out here in, oh I don't know, oh point 2 seconds."
"I'm here, I'm here," he said calmy, putting his hands up as his tall lanky figure stalked by.
"Good. Now, what did Carden say about being late?" I asked, glancing down at my clipboard.
"Oh, no he's getting here on time," replied William, picking up the mic.
He started vocal warm-ups as I walked backstage to find Pete.
"Peterrrr," I sing-songed as I spotted him standing, talking to Chizz.
"So, Bilvy's warming up. The sound guys are done, so I guess all is well," I said.
Pete nodded, then took a sip of Aquafina before replying.
"Great. Thanks a lot, Camilla. Sorry I called you so last minute, but I'm really glad you could help out."
I suppose now is when I 'catch you up to speed' or something like that. If you didn't preasses, it's been quite a few years since I graduated from Rockwell High School. 6, to be exact. So now my 25 year-old self is working at a record label. After graduation I moved to Chicago, went to college, dropped out of college after two months, worked at an art place, quit, went back to school, graduated with a music degree, and now I'm here. I had met Pete just as I was graduating college, and he offered a job to me at DecayDance.
Honestly, who could turn that down? 
Now I went from stage to stage all over the East Coast, helping manage pre and post-show madness. I still don't quite get it, but Pete puts a lot of trust in me. He sends to me to big jobs, jobs I never imagined myself capable of. I met Beckett almost right after earning my job, and we'd become friends instantly. This was what I was meant to do with my life.
After setting the clipboard down, I decided to go for a walk around the grounds, get a feel for Warped Tour. I nervously made my through the sea of teenagers, feeling awkward and out of place. I looked up to see a girl wearing shirt that said Become What You Hate.
Midtown. Gabe's Midtown. Gabriel Saporta. The one and only. I had bought tickets ages ago to go and see them live, but didn't have the nerve. I didn't have the guts to show up in a crowd of a thousand people to see my ex of 6 years perform. How lame is that?
I had been on exactly 4 dates since highschool. 4. Two of them had been decent, actually really great guys. 
I still couldn't help myself but to think of Gabe, and what he would've said when the waiter forgot to leave the meat off my salad. Or what Gabriel would have thought when I dropped out of college, the disappointment he would have felt. Or the pride, when I got my job at the label.
Now Gabe was in a band with none other than the entirety of my best friends at Rockwell. Cobra Starship. 
Between Midtown and Cobra Starship, I felt like I had a piece of Gabe no one else would understand. A little tidbit of information only I would understand. I felt that by listening to his voice in my iPod every single day of my life, that it would bring me closer to him. That the hole in my chest would be filled, as if by a miracle.
I walked lazily around in the hot sun, wondering what to do with all of the time on my hands. I flicked through the songs on my iPod, coming to my personal favorite of my best friends' latest album. I hummed along with One Day Robots Will Cry and found my way backstage again, safe from the UV rays baking my pasty skin off my body.
"You lost, punk?" Sisky asked in fake confusion as I walked by.
"Shut up," I muttered, grinning as I walked around the speaker, bumping straight into the last person I ever expected to see right then, right there, on that stage. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Gabe's POV
I laughed as Ryland poured his water bottle out on me, running between tour busses. It was like a secret maze, and you had to be pretty effing good to get out. I bumped into Vicky-T as I walked around a bus, then whispered, "shit, sorry, be quiet, I'm trying to lose Ryland."
"Okay, Gabe, sorry!" she yelled, grinning apologetically and shrugging.
"Bitch!" I yelled back as I ran away. I waited for a while, not knowing where Ryland was, before deciding to go back to the bus.
Fuck this heat.
I sighed as I sat down on the couch, watching tv absentmindedly. Suddenly my phone rang, and I jumped slightly at the sound.
"Hola, Gabriel," my mother answered sweetly, and I was actually glad to hear her voice.
"Oh, hey ma, hows it going?"
"I'm alright, we miss you. Would you by any chance have your social security card with you? I'm renewing insurance and they keep asking me for social security and I just don't understand why, I mean-" she started a long story, but I interruped, saving myself the headache.
"Yeah, ma, hold on, kay?" I dug into my pockets and flipped open my wallet, papers flying everywhere. I finally found the card, then read out the number to her.
"That it, then?" I asked.
"Yes, dear, thank you. Have fun. Be safe, and drink water!" she warned.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, got it mom."
"I love you, Gabriel."
"Love you mom," I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone, glancing down at the mass of papers that had fallen out of my wallet.
I began cleaning them up, most of it receipts and small notes I'd made myself. I noticed a stray square on the floor, neat handwriting splayed across the top. I picked it up and realized, my heart sinking, what it was. I flipped it over, and saw myself. Well, me almost 7 years ago. I got the nerve to flip the Polaroid back over, and read the writing.
Gabriel Saporta. The love of my life. My best friend. Future musician. Exceptional man. I love you.
My mind flipped back to that day, the promise she'd whispered in my ear the last time I'd ever seen her.
"I love you, never forget that," she'd said. Her letter. It has said so little. I remembered being angry that day, that she had left. Now I regret not getting my sorry ass up and looking for her.
I'd lost her. Lost her without even putting up a fight.
What a fucking dumbass.
I shook my head, and got up to head backstage.
I guess somethings never change.

I decided to list my 10 favorite songs. You know, take a break before I start writing anymore stuff. This right here is my break :)

#10: Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon

I know this song is one of the most popular songs on the album, well it's a single, but this song is something that I don't think I will ever get sick of. Here and there probably, yes, but I love the vibe this song brings to me, and it's hard to explain, but I think it's very different therefore amazing.

#9: You Are The One by Shiny Toy Guns

This song is electronic in ways, mixed with male and female vocals. It's an upbeat song with a kind of toned down mood that it creates. I listened to this during the summer, so that makes me think of it as a summer song, but I personally think it's more of something you'd listen to during the winter. This song is not old to me at all.

#8: Talk by Coldplay

Once again, another popular song. I had always heard of this, but never knew what the name was. I stumbled upon it one day and I couldn't stop listening to it. Coldplay's music is truly genius. I always knew that but this song sent my knowings over the top. I love this song so much and I think it's truly incredible.

#7: Born For This by Paramore

This song is so high energy, and that's why I love it. All of RIOT! is a work of art, but this song stands out to me. The music behind the lyrics is really fun to listen to. It's a great song to jump around to, and it can get you pumped for something!

#6: Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship

Okay, I swear Viva La Cobra is one of my favorite albums. All of the songs are awesome and fun to listen to. Cobra Starship's Hot Mess album is exactly the same, and I think some of those songs are growing on me to be favorites too. We'll see! I love this song because it's FUN. Guilty Pleasure will always hold a special place in my heart :)

#5: Running From Lions by All Time Low

I really like how it starts out with acoustic guitar, and then changes into normal guitar. This song is probably one of the quickest to become my favorite. The first or second time I listened to it, I knew I was addicted and that it was already one of my favorite songs. I don't know how to describe it, but it's kind of different from all the other All Time Low stuff in my opinion, but in small ways.

#4: There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At The Disco

Well, you all may know that I am very fond of AFYCSO, but this song from the very beginning stood out to me and I love every bit of it. The beat and the vibe it creates is what gets me. That part is amazing. And not to mention Brendon's voice sounds great on this track. But his voice sounds great on every track too, in my opinion. :]

#3: Speed Of Sound by Coldplay

Another popular Coldplay song, but seriously. One time I started crying while listening to it. It brings back great memories and the whole thing is just outstanding. The music, lyrics, the overall sound. I love this song so much and whenever it pops up on my iPod while on shuffle, I make sure to listen to it.

#2: Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers

This song is very solemn. I like the music it's put to, and I could listen to this anytime. For this song, it's the feeling it creates just like some of the other song's vibes. The song isn't very rock or pop I guess, it's different and undescribeable.

#1: Mr. Brightside by The Killers

Mr. Brightside is my number one favorite song of all time. It's so addicting!!! It's pretty upbeat and the music along with it just gets me obsessed. I've listened to this song so many times and it's not old. Every time I listen to it, it gives me the same feeling. I LOVE THIS SONG <3

Now that you know about my favorite songs, I want you to know a bit about me.

So, I'm Ashley and I am only 13 years old. I will be 14 next month! Yeah, I'm pretty young. I don't know if that changes anything or not... I love writing and film. In my spare time I like to make videos along to music. They're all up on YouTube. Let me know if you'd be interested in seeing them :) Some are better than others. :/ As for writing, I don't think I'm the best at actually putting it all down and making sense with it I guess? I do know that I have very different ideas for things, and that's why I'm so excited to start writing new things. I really like meeting new people and finding new music. I am always almost on the internet, but I do have a life outside of that too, haha :D My favorite bands are Cobra Starship, Paramore, Panic! At The Disco and All Time Low. I've been with Paramore the longest out of the rest. My weakness is math, and my strength is English. I am in a more advanced English class while I was put into a less advanced math class. I fixed that all though, and it seems better. Haha so I'm not in the terrible easy math anymore :/ That's just a bit about me. This was an extremely random post and the next post I do will be the start of my threeshot, and then Mysterieux! In between new stories, I will be doing one, two or three shots. :)Thanks so much for reading my work. I can't thank you all enough!

-Ashley

P.S. I LOVE cereal & XXX Vitamin Water. Not together of course, haha.

Double post! Loves comments and buzzes!

She's dancing with the stars,
Living in the sky with diamonds.
She's dancing with the stars,
And oh, how the lights are shining.
Living In The Sky With Diamonds - Cobra Starship

"Stop worrying! I'm going to be staying in your apartment. What's the worst that can happen?" Claire kept reassuring me, putting on a brave face. I was glad she wasn't as upset as she was earlier. I think the performance might've cheered her up.

"Will you call me when you get home?" I asked. She smiled at the ground and put my house keys into her pocket.

"Home. It has a nice sound to it doesn't it?" She said thoughtfully. It really did. She hugged me for the last time and then moved on to the other guys. She was very patient with everyone and even gave Pete a kiss on the cheek. I knew they were only friends, so I didn't panic when I saw them getting affectionate. I wasn't the jealous type, at least I didn't think I was. Everybody went back into the venue to get ready to go out for the night so they left Claire and I alone. "I'll call when I get... home."

"You better." I added and kissed her. It was a slow, intimate sort of kiss. That one where you don't want the feeling to end. But it had to. Her taxi finally showed up. I put her suitcase into the trunk and closed it again. She got into the taxi and slammed the door. That slam shattered me. It was final. She was leaving. "I love you." I whispered, even I couldn't hear it. She didn't hear it. The taxi started up and drove away. Tears rolled down my cheek. I couldn't care less who saw them; I was going to miss her.

"C'mon Alex! Pete's taking us all to his bar!" Gabe yelled across the parking lot. I looked down the street again for the last time and then ran towards him. I better get used to the idea of not having her around.

The apartment felt so empty. I dropped my case by the door and kept my jacket on. It was kind of cold inside. I wandered around, looking through the rooms. I knew he lived here, for sure. All his clothes were scattered across the rooms which were mostly Glam Kills clothing. I decided to look for Alex's laptop which he said he left in his apartment. Pete was kind enough to offer me a job at Clandestine Industries looking after the accounts.

My phone started ringing which made me jump. It had been so quiet before it started ringing.

"Hello?" I said into the phone. A man chuckled on the other side of the phone call.

"What happend to 'I'll call you when I get home'?" He asked. Butterflies filled my stomach. It was Alex.

"Sorry, I was fascinated by how untidy your place is."

"You're a terrible person." He stated, laughing a little. "So have you managed to settle in okay?"

"Yeah. Where's your laptop? I can't find it anywhere."

"It's somewhere in my bedroom. Good luck finding it." He laughed. His laugh always made me smile. "I've got to go now. Sorry."

"It's okay! Speak to you later." I said and hung up the phone. I entered his bedroom, taking in its surroundings. His walls were covered with posters, pictures and other papers. One in particular caught my eye. It was sheet music.

My music.

With closer inspection, he had written on the back of it. The lyrics of Break Out! Break Out!. He kept this? Looking at the room, he kept alot of my things. Mostly music. Finally, I found what I was looking for; his laptop. I decided to get a head start on work so I could spend tomorrow shopping. It was going to be a long night.

I didn't realize I fell asleep by accident. I stared at the computer screen. I had finished doing the accounts. I shut down the laptop and laid back down again. This didn't feel right. I started tearing up. I wanted him with me, not on tour. It sounds selfish, but I missed him, even if it was only one day apart.

I miss him.

I miss her.

"I feel like a dumbass," muttered Gabe, trying on his cap and gown. I giggled as the guys danced around together in their red gowns, tassles flying madly.
"You do not," I said, grinning at him. For the past two weeks my heart felt like it was ripped in half. One step closer to goodbye.
He put his arm around me, kissing my lips lightly.
We hadn't talked about graduation since January. It was like we both understood what was going to happen, and we just kept pretending like it wasn't going to. Even Gabe's parents seemed curious about it. Anytime graduation was mentioned around them, which wasn't often, they glanced at the both of us, as if asking, "what does that mean for you two?"
Graduation was tomorrow. In less than 24 hours, I'd be leaving for good, being forced to say goodbye to happiness as I knew it.
I was lost in a sad, thoughtful trance as the guys continued to mock each other. Gabe looked over at me, a worried glint in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" he half-whispered, putting his hand on my knee.
"Yeah," I said slowly, faking a smile. He stared at me for a second, then looked back at the guys.
So this is how heartbreak felt.

"Camilla Quinn Williams," called our principal, holding out the diploma to me. Mrs. Saporta snapped the cliche picture, then I went to sit down. After another two W names were called, we were done. We were graduated. This is where life begins. It started with goodbye.
We threw our caps up, and I glanced over at Gabe. He was grinning at me, and without giving him time to speak I kissed him deeply.

Gabe's POV

Just when I thought she was going to pull back, she didn't. I kissed her back, trying not to think of what was about to happen to us within the next few weeks. Goodbye.
Our lips unlocked and Camilla, still hugging me, whispered softly into my ear, "I love you, never forget that."
"I love you too," I whispered breathlessly. She was hugging the guys tightly, telling them she loved them, then my parents. Then she was Victoria, and next thing I knew I had lost her in a sea of people.

Camilla's POV

I drove to the Saporta's house alone, tears streaming down my face. By the time I pulled into the driveway I was crying to hard I could barely see through the curtain of salty tears. I went up to Gabe's room and found a notebook and envelopes. I wrote three letters. One to Gabe, one to the guys and Vicky-T, and one to Gabe's parents. They read:

Gabe Saporta; I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to even think about. I can't believe, looking back, how much I really love you. We both knew graduation was going to be hard, it means goodbye. I have to do it this way... I'm so sorry, I was crying so hard I couldn't see what I was writing, and my shaking arm didn't help much. You are my everything, Gabe. Your love means more to me than anything on this entire planet. Go out and make music, do what you dream of. You deserve it. I hope I get to see you eventually, but for now it's just too hard. Please don't be angry with me for leaving this way, it just makes it easier. I'm so sorry. I love you, -Camilla.

To the best friends a teenage girl could ask for. You guys make me so incredibly happy that I can't even explain. I've formed a special relationship with all of you, relationships I'll never forget. Ryland, you're my best friend of all time. I still look at pictures from camp every now and then, and it's all embarrassing and extremely funny. I love you, Ryland, like you'll never believe. Alex you are the biggest dick I've ever met in my life, thank you for that. You add so much to my everyday. Nate, your heart is bigger than anyone else could know, even though you pick on me beyond belief sometimes. Victoria, you are the first actual female best friend I've ever had, and I don't think anyone'll ever compare. All of you, I love you, I'm going to miss, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't have an official goodbye, but it's just too hard. I love you.

Mr. and Mrs. Saporta: thank you SO incredibly much for everything you've done for me. You took me in when I thought I was going to have to give up the only happiness I'd known in years. Your hospitality means the world to me. I love your son more than you could know, you should be proud of him. Please, for me, support him no matter what he wants to do with his life. You know Gabe. Thank you, so very much.

I looked around the room, tears still falling from my jawline. I started packing my boxes into my car quickly, wanting to finish before they got home. One last look at Gabe's room. I took in the smell, the look, the feel. I took in the presence of him, and I left one last thing on his bed along with the letters. I stole his pillow from his bed, wanting something to keep of him.
I drove away from Rockwell with my heart ripped in half.
Who knew starting life was so hard?

Gabe's POV

I rode with the guys back to my house, expecting Victoria and Camilla to already be there. When I saw that her car wasn't in the driveway, I starting wondering where she'd gone to.
"Hey, guys, I'll be right back, I'm just going to get some clothes to change into."
I ran upstairs and starting going through my boxes of already packed things, then noticed something. Camilla's boxes were gone. My heart started racing, and I looked around the room. I looked at my bed, where there were a few envelopes. I picked them up, noticing one addressed to me: Gabriel Eduardo.
I opened it, shaking madly, and started to read it. I didn't even read the first line before tears were coming down my cheeks.
"Fuck!" I cried, kicking the bed, and falling onto the floor.
"Hey, are you-" Ryland came over to me, concerned expression and all.
"Hey, hey, dude, what's-" he didn't have to finish his sentence, he looked at the letter in my hands and then back at me. His eyes looked glassy and he put his hand on my shoulder as I stared at the floor, lost for words.
After an eternity of silence, I spoke, my voice barely audible.
"She's gone," I said, my voice cracking. "She's gone for good."
"I'm... I'm so sorry, man," he said, a pained expression on his face. "I'm.. I'm gonna go get the guys, ok?" I didn't answer, but he left anyway. As I got myself together, I looked back at the other envelopes, noticing something else attached to them.
I picked it up, and it was a picture. The picture.
The picture of me sitting against the wall with my guitar. I looked at it for a moment, then threw it down. I couldn't take this. Why did she do this to me? I loved her, and she was gone. Just leaving me a stupid letter and a picture. I glanced back down at the picture, which was flipped over. There was writing on it.
It read: Gabriel Saporta. The love of my life. My best friend. Future musician. Exceptional man. I love you.

The return....

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Pete P.O.V.

The next week flew by, it wasn't necessarily what we were doing 
together, but that we were together.
It was around 7 o'clock and we were watching tv.
She got up and headed to the kitchen.
"Awe we don't have chips," she pouted.
She started putting her hoodie on.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"To 7-11, I'll be back in 10 minutes flat," she told me.
"you can just make popcorn or something," I suggested, I didn't want 
her to leave.
"It'll be 10 minutes," she said and kissed me, they say kisses will 
never be the same as first kiss, but they obviously never met somebody 
they actually really cared about. I couldn't believe it but, I came to 
the conclusion that I loved her. I knew this would shock a lot of 
people I knew, because I had never really believed in love before. I 
always thought it was something that never existed, or something I 
would never experience.
I was somewhat of a overcast kid.
But every minute she was gone I grew more worried. 15 minutes past and 
I was pretty nervous, I texted her, she answered back, she said she 
was on her way back, but five for minutes past and she wasn't back. I 
called her phone and she didn't answer, I ran to get my hoodie and put 
on a pair of vans slip ons. I ran down the stairs not wanting to wait 
for the elevators.
I continuously called her phone, desperately wanting her to answer, I 
saw a 711 down the street I quickly walked down the street, I looked 
down an alley way and saw something laying off to the left side.
I prayed in my head that it wasn't her. I ran up and heard the 
ringtone, it was her. She had been brutally beaten, but she was still 
breathing, I quickly phone the police. I softly shook her awake, he 
eyes slightly opened.
"Pete!" she whispered, her voice full of hope.
"Shhh," I said, "the ambulance will be here soon, just save your 
strength,"
"I should've just made popcorn," she gave a weak laugh, then grabbed 
her ribs in pain.
I couldn't stand Seeing her suffer, "who did this to you?" I whispered, 
I was almost on the verge of tears.
"Jonathan cook," she said, whoever he was he was going to be okay.
"Pete don't cry," she said, he voice was stronger now, "everything 
going to be fine." she faked a smile, I knew she was faking but I 
didn't let her know that I knew.

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Muahahaha

im am very very sorry this took so long :/

but IM BACK!

"Gabriel, estas temprano.(1)" his mom said.

"Es que se termino la reunion antes de tiempo.(2)" Gabe said.

Even after two years of dating him and various years prior as friends, I never understood anything when Gabe and his mom talked.  the only spanish I knew was the type they teach you  at school.  And so, because of that, whenever Gabe was mad or frustrated, he would speak spanish.  Tha being said, half the spanish I knew were cuss words.

"Sarah se ve bastante bonita, no?(3)" she asked him.

"Mama!  Por favor!(4)"

Still, I understood nothing.

His mom left for the kitchen and he came to sit on the couch in front of me.  Kyle ran to him, hoping on his lap.  Gabe gave him a kiss on the tope of the head.  right now, they looked more alike than ever.  After nine months of caring him inside me and the six years so far of dedicating my life to him and all he got from me are my hazel eyes.  The rest was all Gabe.

"He looks a lot like you." I said after some silence.

He flashed me a warm smile.  Through everything, there was never any hostility and Gabe was always warm.  Weird enough, that was the reason why I didn't like bumping into him when I dropped Kyle off at his grandma's.  I didn't want to be reminded that things could have been better if I'd stayed with Gabe. 

"He does, doesn't he?" Gabe stated, letting his words drift.  "How you've been?"

I gave him a smile and everything else came naturally.  I learned that Cobra Starship was doing extremely well, having a big show in New York in two weeks, as well as the change of apartment he was enduring.  (Gabe never enjoyed moves because he always lost things in the process.)  All the while, his mother was no where to be found, probably eavsdroping.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Sarah, do you think..." Gabe started as he walked outside with me.  Kyle was walking in front of us holding Benji's small hand.

"Yes?" I asked, facing Gabe, my arms wrapped around me, trying to shield my body from the cool wind.

"Well, maybe it'd be good for Kyle if we ate a Thanks Giving dinner together."

That surprised me.  Kyle had only been to two dinners with both his parents.  Both of them were Christmas dinners - one at Gabe's parent's, the other at mine - and Kyle was far too young to remember.  It only took me a few seconds to say 'yes'.

"You sure George won't mind?" he asked.

Of course I was sure he wouldn't mind.  As a matter of fact, he probably already had plans, forgetting about his famiily.

"It's fine." I said.  "As long as Benji can come, too."

Gabe gave me a quick hug and yelled "It's a date" before getting back to his car with Kyle by his side.

~~~~~~~~~

"I swear, there's something wrong with that kid."

I looked over to the living room where Benji was playingwith Lizzie.  They looked like they were building a house with some blocks.

"Meg, nothing is wrong with Kyle." I said for what seemed the 100th time.

"Meg, you have to shut up with this shit, already!" Jess said.

"Hey!  This is my house, and I say no swearing."

This was oh so routine.  My cousins Megan and Jessica, identical twins, would bicker about everything.  Meg would call Benji an odd child because of his usual silence and JEss would side with me saying nothing's wrong with Benji.  Meg, the oldest, was the married mother of Lizzie; the uptight one.  Jess, the youngest, was the single woman with a tattoed sleeve; the wild one.  They were both 25, two years younger than I.

"So where's Kyle?" Meg asked, after they stopped bickering.

"With Gabe.  It's his day."

"Did you see him?" Jess asked, leaning over the table.  She knew my feelings for Gabe, even though I never confessed to the.  Meg knew, too, but Jess was much more open and wishful.

"Yep.  I'm meeting him for Thanks Giving dinner with Kyle and Benji." I said.  they starred at me, mouths wide open, the eact same expression twice.  Only did Jess' fire red hair and Meg's black hair and black rimmed glasses set them apaprt. 

No one said anythin, though, making the toys' sounds the only thing heard.  After a while, Jess got up and came back with a tequila bottle in one hand, two shot glaases in the other.

"A toast" she said pouring twquila in the glasses and handing one to me.  "To Gabe and Sarah."  We clacked our glasses together and drank the shots, gaining dissaproving looks from Meg.

Well?  I liked this chapter :)  But why don't you tell me what you think?

Well, I'm off to go do my science project and hopefully I'll have for tomorrow the next chapter for No One's First, And You're Next.

comment/buzz/love

<3 Maria

(PS I wish you all a Happy Thanks Giving!!!)

Edit: Here's the deffenitions of those lines in spanish at the begginging:

(1): Gabriel, you're early.

(2): The renunion finished earlier.

(3): Sarah looks really pretty, no?

(4): Mom!  Please!

January 27

I tapped my pencil impatiently on the desk, and glanced over at Victoria.
"Does he really expect us to focus?" I whispered, fumbling with a woven bracelet Gabe had given me for Christmas. He said he'd made it when he was just a little boy in Uruguay, and he wanted me to keep it. He'd also given me a picture his mom had taken when I first moved there, it was of just Gabe and I, sitting on the couch and grinning at each other. It was the most adorable picture I'd ever seen, minus the one I'd taken of Gabe for photography class.
Victoria smirked, then leaned toward me, saying "I know, right? Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"
I clicked my tongue, and glanced at Mr. Hurn to be sure he was his regular oblivious self.
"Not sure, why?"
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out, or something?" she asked sincerely.
We'd become close in the past two months, and recently we were inseparable. The guys had a hard time adjusting to another girl at the table, but once they realized how cool she actually was the reconsidered.
"Oh, yeah, that would be great, actually. To be honest, it's been a really long time since I've hung out with a girl," I said.
Mr. Hurn's head snapped in our direction, and I glanced over at him.
"Hey," I whispered, waving awkwardly. I could see Victoria trying to hold back laughter.
Mr. Hurn held up his book and shook it, telling us to get to work.
"Sorry, Mr. Hurn," I muttered, giving one last grin to Vicky-T before returning to work. Maybe that was why I was failing this class.
Later that night, after taking a bath, I walked into Gabe's room.
He was sitting at his desk, typing madly, music blaring from his headphones. I tapped his shoulder, and he jumped, ripping the earphones from his ears.
"Jesus, Camilla," he muttered, grinning up at me.
"Sorry," I apologized, taking a seat on the couch.
He pushed himself away from the desk and got up, plopping down seconds later next to me.
"So," he said, looking at me with a pondering expression on his face.
"So," I repeated, smiling softly. He picked up my hand and traced the lines of my palm, putting me quickly into a sleepy trance. I leaned against his shoulder and watched him.
"What was Uruguay like?" I wondered aloud, not sure if I actually said it or thought it.
"Well," he said, pausing to think. "I loved it. All of my family was there, it was beautiful. I haven't been back in a few years, come to think of it." Sadness swept me over. I knew what it was like to miss your home.
"So, do you wanna hear something I've never told anyone, not even Ryland?" I asked, knowing the answer before I even asked. He glanced at me, curiousity and concern washing over his face.
"Yeah," he said slowly. "What is it?"
"Well, I'm not American," I said, waiting for a reply. I simply got a blank face, so I continued. "I actually grew up in Australia, about an hour from Sydney."
His eyes widened, "are you f'real?"
"Yeah," I laughed. The tone became serious again when I continued. "I loved it there. The sun, the water, everything. The happiness. It was my favorite place in the entire world, I never wanted to leave. Mom forced me to move away when I was 7, we came to the states. Soon after she met Trevor's father, they procreated, then eventually the two split. I miss Australia so much," I said, feeling tears coming. Holding them back, I tried to speak again. "The only reason we left was because mom couldn't deal with the pain of dad abandoning us, so we up and left. Packed our bags. Left our entire family, my only family. I mean, I hate it. But I guess I just have to deal." I tried not to seem so upset, but I could see in his eyes the same expression of worry he had when he discovered I was moving.
"I'm so sorry, Camilla. I never knew," he said quietly.
"Oh, it's not like some big sob story, I just figured you should know my history," I said, grinning at him.
"Have you been there since you moved?"
"Not once," I grimaced. "But, I guess it's all for good reason."
"I guess so," he said, slightly frowning.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, he broke the quiet.
"What are we going to do about graduation?" he practically whispered. I didn't have to see his face to know the sadness he was feeling when he asked that; his voice told me everything. I couldn't look at him as I answered.
"I don't know," I said, equally quiet, my voice cracking.
"I don't want this to end," he said, touching his hand to my jaw and forcing me to face him.
"Camilla, I'm in love with you. I want to spend every waking day with you. I want to see your face, wake up to your voice, every day of my life. I've never been so happy, so comfortable, so natural, with anyone. I can't lose this," he stated, his voice quavering.
"Gabe, I've been in love with you since I met you. I," I started to lose my voice. "I don't know what the future holds," I finally whispered. He kissed my nose, then stared at the floor, both of at a loss for words. We both knew how the other felt, a proclamation of love hadn't been required, but it felt right to say it. It felt like the right time.
Over the period of the next 4 months, I had to figure out how to say goodbye to my only real happiness. How to say goodbye to my best friends, how to say goodbye to my boyfriend. The first, and only, love of my life.
No one said high school was easy, right?
By May I had figured out what I was going to do, and it hurt like hell. Everyday I woke up with a sick feeling that we were one day closer to graduation, one day closer to saying goodbye.
Goodbyes weren't my thing, especially with people I cared about.
I talked to my mom almost everyday, and she gave me advice everytime we talked. Although I never quite told her what was on my mind, she knew.
We were closer than we'd ever thought imaginable, and we weren't even in the same state.
My heart ached as graduation inched upon us, like a killer in a horror movie. No matter how fast I ran, time was walking and still managed to catch up.
I wasn't sure I could handle it. I wasn't sure if they could handle it.
So much for a happy, funfilled, bright-futured graduation.

So I skipped a TON of time, but I felt it necessary to speed up the story to where I want it. I can't drag out this time period any longer, time to move on!
There are big things coming up, so just keep an eye open. If you're confused, don't worry. Things'll clear up in the next few chapters.
Thanks for reading.
I have to admit, I was even pretty bummed when I was writing this.
Much love.

"Keyle!  Hurry up!" I yelled into the apartment.  Benji was in ym arms with a fire truck in his hands.  We were late and every minute that went by made the chances of running into him bigger.

Just the, Kyle came bouncing outside with his Transformers backpack strapped against his back.

"Ready to go?" I asked, ruffling his hair.  He smiled at me, reminding me of his father.  Everyday, my little Kyle looked more and more like him.

"Let's go see Daddy." he said, pulling me outsde.

I safely strapped him into his car seat, ignoring his complaints of him saying he's a 'big boy' and later doing the same with Benji.

when we got to the house, Kyle unstrapped himself and ran out of the car yelling "Grandma!"  I ran after him, managing to grab him before he got to the door.  We went back to the car for Benji and Kyle's bags.

Kyle's granda came out before we finished unpackin.  She wrapped her arms around Kyle first and later around me.

"Kyle!  You look so big.  How old is he, Sarah?" she asked me.

I gave her a polite smile, wanting nothin more than to be gone.  "He's six." I said

She took us three into her house despite my own wishes.  The inside of her house was just as it had been eight years ago.  The woman never changed herself or her house.

"And how's this young fellow?" she asked about Benji.

"Benji's fine.  He'll be three in a month." I said kissing his cheek.

"And your husband?" she asked more quietly.  Just as her house hadn't changed, neither had her gossiping self.  She knew exactly how my husband was and my relationship with him.  Of course, though, she wanted to hear me say it myself.

"George is fine." I said, keeping my face expressionless.  I didn't want to contribute anymore to her inside knowlegde of my private life than she already did.  She was a very nice woman, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut for a single moment.

And just then, the door opened, causing my body to freeze and my heart to sink.  There he stood, the same smile on his lips, the same expression on his face.  The only thing that had changed was his sense of style.  The rest was same old Gabe.

--FLASHBACK--

I felt the corners of Gabe's lips curl up into a smile against my own.  His arms were wrapped around my waist, my arms around his neck, not wanting to let him go.

"I love you." he said one last, before slowly unwrapping me and taking my arms off his neck.  I stood there watching him walk towards Gate C right behind Ryland.  A tear slid down my face as I touched my lower stomach, now a small bump.

--END FLASHBACK--

I didn't go back to Gabe after he came back from touring.  Instead, I stayed with my cousin in NEw Jersey during the rest of my pregnancy, not once talking or seeing Gabe until the day Kyle was born.  Though I was still in love with him, I didn't try to get back with him or repair our relationship, though he gave me many chances.  Instead, I moved to Chelsea, a 21 year old single mother, ultimately meeting George and having Benji after being married for a few months.

Now, here I was, one child with my ex-boyfriend, one with my ever distant husband in the house of the grandmother of my oldest child, staring at the man I never stopped loving.

"Hey."

"Hi."

First off, read this.

Secondly, Things are really hectic right now.  (This will explain everything.)

And third of all, I want to hear what your guys' feedback :)

comment/love/buzz

<3 Maria

Chapter thirty; WHAT?! Aha, thank you for reading this, if you are. And, if you're reading this and not commenting I really wish you would. I'd love to hear opinions.
Anyway, here's 30 :D (ps, sorry I skipped time a bit (It's almost Christmas as of now, in the story), I'm about to skip a LOT of time here in a few chapters, but it'll be worth it.)

"Let's see, 25% more," said Gabe sarcastically, setting a bottle of ranch dressing into the squeaky cart. The two of us causing chaos in an already chaotic grocery store was not good. We had been running around for only half an hour, already crushing, by complete accident, some of the Italian bread. Gabe had simply shrugged off the stern glares recieved from a stock-boy, saying ",oh Italians are posers anyway. It's okay," before zooming the cart out of the aisle.
"You know, it's kind of ridiculous how mom makes us come in here to do all of her grocery shopping, especially at such a hectic time of year," he said, clicking his tongue in mockery, as if to say, 'what a shame.'
"Oh, suck it up. It's not like you're having a bad time," I replied, sticking my tongue out at him before glancing down at the list of goods to be bought.
"We've done this all out of order," I muttered, noticing how we had just been in the canned goods aisle and forgotten the peas.
"Hey, it works," he teased, almost hitting a passing cart with our own.
"Gabe," I scolded, trying to hold back a laugh. His ten-year old attitude was both his best and worst quality. Best, because he always knew how to make me feel better; worst, because he sometimes didn't know when to cut it off.
He grabbed the list from my hands, then glanced at me.
"Mom needs some nuts," he said, a childish glint appearing in his eye.
I had to try very, very hard not to crack even the slightest smile that humored him.
"Gabe, grow up," I teased, biting my lip.
He placed his hands on his hips and raised his voice.
"Gabe grow up," he mocked, then smacked my shoulder, his posture returning back to normal. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head slowly, then held my hand out.
"Can I have the list," I asked, getting a questioning look as Gabe pulled it back. "Please?" I asked sweetly. He took a deep inhale before answering quickly.
"No."
I stood on top of his feet, our faces only centimeters apart.
"Please?" I asked quietly, smiling up at his ridiculous 6-foot self.
"Well, since you asked nicely," he said, rolling his eyes and pecking my lips before handing me the slip of paper. I stepped back off of his feet, a smile etched across my face. A smile that didn't seem to leave, ever.
About an hour and a half later, after trying to coax him from the electronics section for about ten minutes, we were finally ready to check out.
The cashier glanced up at the both of us, then smiled.
She quietly rung up the mass of groceries that we'd unloaded from the cart, then glanced up at Gabe.
"Your total is 122.24, cash, check or credit?"
Gabe glanced at me, then bit his lip.
"I think I'll let Camilla here get this one," he teased as he pulled out the blank check his mother had signed about two hours previously.
"That's no way to treat your wife," the cashier smiled as Gabe scrawled down the information onto the check.
"Wha-? No, we're, uh," I glanced at Gabe. "We're not married."
Gabe glanced at the cashier, then to me, a glint in his eye. He was smirking as he helped the small bag boy load the cart with Wal*Mart bags.
"Oh, well," she said, slightly embarrassed. "Could've fooled me," she winked, placing the reciept in my open hand as Gabe pushed the cart away.
Gabe started the ignition, blasting heat, as I started to put bags into the wide trunk space of his car.
"Nah, babe, I'll get it," he said, swatting my hand away.
"They're plastic bags," I joked. "I'm not all feeble and tiny, you know."
"Yeah I know, you punched me yesterday and it fuckin hurt."
"Sissy," I teased as I got into the passenger seat.
"So, that cashier totally thought we were married," he said as he plopped into the driver's seat, a smirk on his face. He was trying to sound joking, but I could tell he actually liked the fact we were mistaken for a married couple.
"Yeah, I know, right?"
We pulled out from the hectic parking lot and drove up the ramp onto the highway.
"No sleep till Brooklyn!" hummed Gabe quietly as he settled back into the driver's seat.
"Shit, we were in there for two hours."
"Yeah, half of which was spent trying to get you away from CDs and video games," I joked, glancing over at Gabe.
He put his arm over, without taking his eyes off the road, and slapped my leg. Instead of putting his hand back on the wheel, he grabbed my hand, and glanced over at me, a smile gracing his lips.
After a few minutes of calm silence, I spoke up.
"So," I dragged out the word, glancing over at him. "What did you get me for Christmas?"
"Christmas?" he asked incredulously. "My family is Jewish, Camilla, sheesh."
"Your family is no more Jewish than mine," I said. His family was of Jewish descent, but really didn't practice a religion in particular. Yeah, they prayed to God at every meal, and had what seemed to be a great relationship with Him. But as far as religion, they never really specified.
"Okay, okay, you got me," he rolled his eyes mockingly. "The point of presents is that they're a surprise. I'd be breaking a very sacred vow if I told you. I'd be kidnapped and beheaded," he said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, is that so?" I played along sarcastically.
"Chyeah," he said quickly.
"Well, a hint?"
"It's just for you," he said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh, never would have guessed that one," I said, biting my lip.
"Well, that's youu hint."
We arrived home, bags in hand, rushing into the door.
"Ow, damnit!," exclaimed Gabe, quickly dropping the groceries onto the table. "Cutting into my hand," he muttered as Mrs. Saporta sternly said, "watch your language, young man! More like a child, I swear. Gabe, you need to get into gear..." She continued on in Spanish, losing me after the first 'tu'. Gabe rolled his eyes at me, then placed his abnormally large hands on my shoulders and steered me outside to grab the rest of the bags.
"Always the same stupid speech, go to college, grow up, blah blah blah," he whined, shaking his head. "All I want to do is make music and she just doesn't understand."
I kissed his cheek and gave him a sympathetic look as he closed the trunk.
Later on, we were sprawled across his couch, me with books in my lap.
He kept trying to get me to stop doing my Biology homework so we could 'do something productive with our lives' but I had to finish vocabulary. I had taken honors Biology in sophomore year, piece of cake. AP biology? Not so easy. I thought I was going to die.
"Put the books down," he whine/begged, grabbing my arm and pouting his lips out.
I kissed them, then looked back down at my mass of papers and books.
"I'm almost done," I promised. He huffed, then turned his attention back to Ed, Edd, and Eddy. What a kid.
A few minutes and a ton of vocab later, I slammed my book closed, looking over at Gabe.
"Finished," I said triumphantly.
"'Bout time," he said, propping up onto his elbows to kiss me.
"I'm actually going to go take a shower, now. Sorry buddy," I added as his face dropped to a serious one.
"Really?" he asked sarcastically.
"Really," I smiled and made my way to my bathroom.

Gabe's POV

I grinned as she slowly walked out of the room, expecting her to turn around. She didn't.
I tapped my fingers, wondering what to do until she came back. I glanced around my room, my eyes spotting the photo album Camilla had for photography class. She never let me look at the pictures, and I figured now was the perfect time, no?
I opened the red binder/album, finding the first page all of scenery. The next pages were also of nice looking, but boring, vistas. I wanted something a little more interesting. Finally I got to a section labeled, "candid." The intro page was the assignment sheet, and I read the top bit. Take a candid picture of a person who means a lot to you, blah blah, make something that person and you are both interested in included, blah blah, realistic, not posed, blah blah. I turned the page, to find a picture of myself.
I was leaned against the wall, holding my guitar, laughing. I wondered when she took such a photo, then my memory served me right. Just a few days ago all the guys had been over, and Camilla had been clicking pictures like crazy. We asked her why, and she simply said, "I like taking pictures, that's why." I turned the page over, seeing the empty sheet behind labeled 'Photo explanation', which was left blank as of now. After a few seconds, I shut the binder and set it back where it previously had been. Before too long, she came back in, hair damp, and smiling at me.

Camilla's POV

"What did you do?" I asked him, sitting on the couch as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"What ever could you mean?" he asked innocently, batting his eyelashes.
"That guilty smile said it all," I explained, raising my eyebrows at him. He met my gaze, and his eyes grew wide.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, shaking his head.
I jumped over on his lap, attempting to push him over. Instead, he pushed me onto the floor. His plan epically failed as I dragged him with me. We landed on the floor with a thud, him right on top of me. I laughed, then felt the wind knocked out of me.
"Get off, fatty," I whined, and he widened his eyes and pouted his lips.
"You... you, you tink I'm fat?" he asked.
I grinned at him, then he leaned in and softly kissed my lips.
This was going to be the best Christmas of my entire life.

I'm pretty proud of this chapter :D
I like where the story is planned on going, you'll just have to find out
*evil laugh*
kidding. But seriously, things are about to change big time, so.

Yeah, it was kinda cheesy how I added the photo thing, but I found it cute as well, so :P

Thanks for reading.

Please comment.
Please? :D