brandon Blog and Journals

I have a feeling this is what I get to look forward to. yay me.
I adore this little cartoons; thay brighten mah day :D

Brandon and his fran Olive was walking behind me and Taylor [cook], he twas directing me to class.
Olive was like HAY HANNAH ! :o NONONO OTHER HANNAH
(meaning thee Hannah behind mee)
TWAS SO AWKWARD o-o

So in first period I changed my name to Melivin, and my gym teacher calls me this o: its grate c:

Than at lunch, he has this wiff me everyyyyday, he walked around the cafiteria liek in circles and ashlesy like
I WANA THROWWW A GOLDISH AT HIMMS O;
and i almost ran into himmmm.

it was really awkard. o-O

but anyways nothing really.
talking to michael brendel right nao.
looking at those comics :o
SO 'MAZING ;D





arent thay adorable :DDDD
well imma go bai c:

So today I was just doing my business on the computer when I hear a huge glass-breaking sound.
Mom was like, "OH MY GOD WAS THERE A CRASH?!"
And she ran outside.
I ran right after her and down the road.
Mom was calling 911.

I saw a disassembled red motorcycle and all it's scattered remains in the middle of the road, a blue motorcycle in the ditch, a helmetless Freddy nealing down next to his Helmetted friend (thank God) Brandon.
Brandon was complaining of an aching lower back, yet everything else was fine.
He was cursing every second.
My mom was shaking hard.

Three more cars were coming down the road to know what the noise was.
My mom's phone had died, so a man in a blue shirt had called and explainedeverything.

Five minutes later, A fire truck arrived at the scene and asked Brandon what had happened.
He explained it.

Freddy and Brandon (23yrs) were on their motorcycles driving to see my brother, and Freddy slowed down to turn in the driveway but Brandon was unable to slow down, so he rearended Freddy and flipped over the handlebars, driving Freddy into a small ditch (no damage done to the bike), and Brandon flipping into the street (broken shield and many other parts flew off).

Freddy walked away with a few road rash burns.

The ambulance showed up soon after and put him in the cruiser.

That's it...

Scary, and Thank you God that Brandon had his Helmet on.

 

 

*UPDATE*
August 17, 2009

Brandon broke multiple ribs and his hip in two places.
he also had internal bleeding and is imobile in his left leg..

 

This interview is a little old. Now the band is simply a trio but nevertheless they're all still amazing musicians and now the trio consists of Mike Clark [guitarist], Brandon Reeder [drummer], and Brandon Ingley [guitarist]. Anyway here's the interview with them back when Ben [ex-guitarist] was still with them after their first Warped show.

The have toured with the Hint, opened for YellowCard, played Warped and headlined their own tour last year! They're young, they're determined and their music is insanely catchy!!! SO CHECK THEM OUT ON MYSPACE OR BUY THEIR ALBUM ON ITUNES!!!!! trustt meee you want to do this.

If you like All Time Low, Blink 182, Forever the Sickest Kids, Third Eye Blind or other Pop Punk Rock bands you willLOVE themm!!

 

What genre of music do you consider your work to be and who are your major influences?

I'd consider us pop punk / Alternative. Major influences are blink 182, 3rd eye blind, brand new

How long have you all known each other? How did you meet?

we've all known each other for years, reeder mikey and I met in High school and we met Brandon because he was in another band that we were friends with at the time.

 

When did you form your band? What inspired you to make music together?

the band started in spring of 2004 and we were inspired by the thought of four best friends playing music that we love and having a great time!

 

Where have you performed? What are your favorite and least favorite venues?

We've performed all across the country, our favorite place is probably Rams Head Live back home in Baltimore :]

 

What are your all time favorite songs? Who are your favorite artists?

Favorite artist for me is proabably 3rd eye blind and my favorite song would have to be motor cycle drive 

What is your favorite of all your songs?

heart attack pact and the new ones soon to come :]

 

What inspires your lyrics?

every day life? haha

 

Could you briefly describe the process of making and promoting an album?

first we write the songs in about a month, then we go in and record them. After that we'll go out on tour to promote the new release and then keep touring when it comes out!

What has been your biggest challenge as a band?

Have you been able to overcome that challenge? our biggest challenge has been to break through a mold and set ourselves apart. I think the next record will really shine through with that quality.

 

What is the ultimate goal/ direction for your band?

to be able to support ourselves doing something we love and hopefully share same great music with people everywhere.

What advice do you have for people who want to form their own bands?

just keep it fun and hold that dream in your heart, eventually you'll get there.

 

What's the most bizarre thing to happen while you were onstage?

mikey getting naked haha

What’s your favorite and least favorite part about touring?

favorite part is being free and meeting new people everyday, least favorite is not having a bed to sleep in every night.

 

Does touring and the other aspects of your professional life affect your private life? Are you able to keep up with school work?

none of us go to school or work so I guess it does lol

 

If you had two words to say to the readers right now what would they be?

stay gnarly :]

 

So I know this is old but I'm gunna try to get Reeder, Brandon or Mikey to give me another interview so this would be an interview with the newly formed trio.

 

Be sure to check out American Diary though on

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/americandiaryrock

Itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=310118511&s=143441

[I dont know why yet but their newest EP is not showing up so bear with me ahha]

P.S. check their myspace for new songs their working on right now!!

Chapter 12: So Long and Goodnight

 

It was raining the day of Brandon's funeral. Of corse it was, this was a day where you think nothing more could be sadder. But, somehow Mother Nature had to turn on the sprinklers and the clouds have decided to get drunk and  have a bar fight. This is perfect. I wore a Taylor Swift styled black dress. It looked like her dress that was in the December/January issue of Cosmo Girl. It was weird, I didn't care that was exposing the world to my scars. Brandon would've never let me do that but he also always told me that I needed to feel okay with myself and my body. So, here I am Brandon, standing with my arms and legs bare, showing you that I am empty and that I don't give a fuck about what everyone is seeing of me right now. Eat your heart out world, Alyssa Kelly Montgomery doesn't give a shit about her shitty body. 

Alex and the rest of the band came with me to this place, this dark hole of nothingness and love. Alex had his arm around me the whole time, he dried my tears instead of my parents. I always thought my parents didn't like Brandon and I didn't think that they cared about me. What does it tell me that they let me cry on Alex's shoulder instead of theirs? Does Alex care more than they do? I mean, this kid didn't even know Brandon and he cares enough to let me stain his jacket with tears and come to the funeral for that matter. Mom and dad only came to the open casket. Speaking of, I'd like to tell you about what Brandon looks like. I've always known him as the long brown haired kid, his hair was always styled like Martin Johnson's, even before Martin Johnson styled his hair like Martin Johnson. His eyes were green with tints of brown in them, just gorgeous. His body wasn't anything, we always joked about his "one-pack" but still, he was thin and slender. Sometimes it scared me that I was going to accidently break him. Half of the time, he wore black rimmed glasses. He dressed like any scene/emo kid, he pulled it off. Now, I looked at him, laying in the casket. Dents all over his head filled in with make-up, stains of what were probably blood that didn't come off his chin. His eyes were shut but if they were open, they'd probably speak of what happened. Of what a drunken jackass the other driver was. I'd love to know what happened, it'd make me sick but I could still know what killed my best friend. They had smoothed back the blood clots in his hands so that you couldn't tell what was there before. But, people kept rubbing his and so much that he was bruising. This bones were broken, frail and cracking through his clothes. It was sickening. Now, he was wearing a faded and cracked blue and white Thrice shirt, over it was a brown leather coat. He had on skinny jeans and his Kurt Cobain/Converse hi-tops. 

So, the pastor read from the bible and then the choir sang. His brother, Joe, got up and said a few words and so did his girl-friend, Krystal. Then, I was asked to get up and say something about him. So, I choked back a few more tears and checked my make-up in a mini-mirror. "Be strong, chick, be strong!" Alex smiled at me, cheering me on. Then I walked up to the podium and stared down at the bible that was open in-front of me. I knew that it wasn't supposed to be read off at this ceremony because the pastor had already read from that same chapter. I didn't know whether or not to read it out loud or just keep it to myself. But, I decided Brandon was smiling down on me enough right now to read it and share my story rather quickly. I looked out at everyone; their red eyes and cheeks lighting up the church. 

"Brandon was my best friend since I was seven," I told everyone. I looked out and saw his mom, trying to be strong for me. She tried to put on a smiling face but it didn't necessarily shine through strongly enough. "I don't know what I would've done without him in my life," I looked ahead and saw a picture of him and I when we were at the lake when we were 11 or so, we were so cute. "I mean, in my situation, I'd probably be dead without this boy trying to help me and keep me alive." I bit my tongue. Maybe this is why Brandon had to go, so I could tell my story the way he wanted me to. "See, I blame myself for a lot of things and that put me into the position of becoming a cutter. I truly wish that I would've listened to Bran and wouldn't had cut, I mean, he tried to get me to stop so many times. I got him to do everything and vise-versa, only, I wanted to cut so much that I had to love it more and want it more than I loved and wanted Brandon," I started to cry. "That's not fair." I told them. "It's not, I wish I could be looking at him right now and telling him sorry. I'd be on my knee's begging for the forgiveness that he'd instantly give me because that's the kind of person that he was. A forgiving one. One that'd forgive you if you just killed his dog." I felt warm tears stream down my face more and more. "When I came up here, I saw this bible and quincidentaly it was on the Psalm that Brandon had read to me when I was recovering from cutting even though I barely believed in all the nonsense of "God" and I would like to read it to you if that's okay." I looked to the pastor for acceptance and he nodded his head 'yes' at me. "Psalm 6: 'O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me with your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint. O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. No one remembers you when he is dead. Who praises you from the grave? I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed,; they will turn back in sudden disgrace.' " I stopped and smiled with watery eyes. "Thank you for listening to me," I told the people in the pews. Then I looked up to the sky and said  "Lord, thank you for letting me borrow Brandon in my time of need." And I walked down from the podium. Alex was right there with open arms for me to cry in. 

So here, for you, is the perfect (depressing) funeral mix for you little friend who you didn't know would be out of your life so rapidly. The time was momentary and you don't know what to do. R.I.P. Brandon, you're severely missed.

1. "Helena" by My Chemical Romance

2. "Corps of Corpses" by Hawthrone Heights

3. "Wait Until I'm Gone" by The Honorary Title

4. "The Last Fight" by Velvet Revolver

5. "Hopeless" by This Providence 

6. "Home" by Three Days Grace

7. "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx:AM

8. "Baby You're My Light" by Richard Hawley

9. "Sad Song" by Oasis**

10. "Broken" by Lifehouse

11. "Memphis" by Jessica Harp

12. "Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby)" by Jack's Mannequin

13. "Something To Believe In" by Poisson

14. "The Flame (LIve)" by Cheap Trick

15. "Last Words" by The Real Tuesday Weld

before the video shoot

Look for us in it

4:21 AM - Brandon Hilton *MAKEUP & JEWELRY LINE!*
Current mood: accomplished

HEY GUYS....

So I've been holding off talking about these things, b/c they are something that I am used to getting (THE DEALS) and for some reason or another they always get taken away or fall through.


So now that they have gone into REAL Production and I know its going to happen, I thought it would be safe to actually address them and share the good news with all of you.


So lets start with the least SHOCKING NEWS...

I've decided to start work as A Makeup Artist, working with a few photographers but mainly with MYSELF... Makeup has always been a small passion for me, and something I was REALLY good at, But I never told anyone and kept it to myself.


After doing the makeup in a few of my last shoots and seeing the HUGE Response it got, and how my skills were actually appreciated, I've decided maybe it might be something I'd like to go into doing.

Obviously, I did the makeup for my latest picture MANNEQUIN HEAD! And its getting ALOT of buzz as its similar to something one of my friends did (J*) - I would like for all of the negative people and haters leaving comments and remarks on it to simply PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS for a second and remark at the ART WORK behind the picture.


Whats more, On looking at the two pictures, Me and several hundred other people have noticed, they are NOTHING alike, different angles, mine has obvious better EDITING and PHOTOGRAPHY behind it, and even the makeup is better in mine.


The picture wasnt done in an attempt to copy JEFFREE, is was done as a promotional image to front my MAKEUP PORTFOLIO, and I simply wanted to do something that would show case my skills and draw all attention to my face. The easiest way to do that is WITHOUT A BODY ATTACHED! lol..

So in response to all the negative comments.


"IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, AND DONT SUPPORT WHAT I DO.... Delete me from your friends! THANKS!"

I AM IN EVERY MEANS OF THE WORD A TRENDSETTER.

and a DESIGNER....

When you look at the creativity and the MAKEUP of that picture, you realize you have NEVER seen anything like it, It's completely ORIGINAL in EVERY WAY! I've got fucking feather eyebrows for christ sake.. THEY ARENT DRAWN ON! Kthanks!

 

THE MAKEUP LINE!

Up until now you have heard NOTHING about this, and surprisingly, I've kept it a secret b/c I wanted to make sure it was really going to happen.

So I was contacted by Cosmetics Company - FaceFront Cosmetics to work on and head a Brandon Hilton Line of makeup. Which I think is utterly amazing and you guys will love.

Its going to come as set, with a blush, eye shadow, and lip. And we are working on all the details with that as of now, I am ofcourse going to Cover Model my line, and I cant wait to release it to the WORLD... It's going to be shockingly different from things you find every day. OH and totally AFFORDABLE.

Its going to be those colors that EVERYONE always wanted but can NEVER find! and I'm trully excited to be working on it!

I'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED!


THE NEW BRANDON HILTON BOWS!
Next I was contacted by jewelry designed Little Lily Designs to produce a BRANDON HILTON BOW for my fans to wear and purchase, or just for ANYONE, its a cute and totally original BH inspired Bow design....

And Its totally ADORABLE...

Also again. EXTREMELY AFORDABLE... I never plan to put my name on anything, I wouldnt be willing to buy, or something that isnt made affordable enough that any of you couldnt get it... SO AGAIN...

Here is another product I support, and I think all of you should go and grab them out, as THEY ARE AN EXLCUSIVE AND LIMITED OF TIME ONLY item... She has only made a small ammount to begin with, and depending on the market and how many people are interested depends on how many will be made in the end..

you can purchase them at - www. littlelilydesigns. net

or by clicking the BANNER below!



SO YEA.

THATS THE LATEST NEWS.... I told you all I was working on some pretty awesome things. And I didnt want to rush any of it...

So yea.

LET ME KNOW HOW EXCITED YOU ALL ARE...
B/c I'm totally excited....

LEAVE COMMENTS.... I will respond to all of them!

XOXOXOXO
- BH

7:43 AM - FAKE FRIENDS!
Current mood: blessed
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hey guys...

So this is a subject I've been meaning to address for a while, and it always hits me at the most awkward times.

Finally it struck me in a moment where I am actually willing to say it "peacefully" and not name any names.
lol

Ok HEAR ME OUT!
You may or may not be able to identify with how I'm feeling on this topic.


But I have ALOT of FAKE friends... now think about that for a second... and I dont mean just fake as in appearance, you know the ol' say "hey" to your face and "ew" behind your back. I MEAN I HAVE A HUGE SHARE OF THOSE TOO.

I'm talking about the worse kind.. The kind who pretend to be friends with you, and even are friends with you to your face, you may even hang out with these people, but then when you arent around they try and turn your "REAL" friends against you.

Or the two faced people you meet who tell you how much they love you to your face, and then tell everyone else how sad you are behind your back.. I HATE TWO-FACED PEOPLE!

I've always been the kind of person who would tell someone if I thought they were acting stupid, or out of line, 9 times out of 10, If I feel like you are FAKE or a bad influence in my life, I will just walk away, and you will never hear from me again.


Theres a few people in my REAL life, outside of the internet who I hear from almost on a regular basis, who I know are fake, and could care less about whats best for me, they are just friends with me, b/c I am a cool person to associate with or whatever various reasons...

But then as soon as any of my other friends have a problem with me, or an small arguement, and this other person finds out, they contact them and just trash me like theres no tomorrow, MIND YOU These people dont even really know ME....

I have a bad habit about meeting people and immediately letting them in my life if I think they are nice, or fun to be around. That doesnt always mean they are the cream of the crop, and usually dont care about ME, they just like hanging out with "Brandon Hilton" Its sad, and I dont always do it knowing that I am doing it, but later on I find out these people are genuinely BAD people.

I've made some GREAT Choices friend wise, and let some amazing people into my life. EI - Dina, Daniel and a few others.... but then theres a LONG LIST of people who just arent good for me. They dont care about me, and they take every chance they can to mooch off of me or use me in some way, shape or form.

I've had a few friends, who befriended me, and I loved hanging out with them, but as soon as they found out what I did. EI - Music, Modeling, whatever else, they tried to use me to get in on it.

I made everything I have MYSELF... I built my name, I got myself contracts and deals, I contacted everyone I had to, to be successful. So I know these people can do it also. There is no EASY route in this business, If someone just hands you all of it, you will never APPRECIATE what you have achieved.

So I think to myself every day how lucky of a person I am to have everything that I do have, and have done everything that I have done, and am doing the things I am.


I mean right now for instance, MY CALENDAR on my page is completely BOOKED with dates for shoots, travel, shows, recording. EVERYTHING... and for once in my life everything thats on that calenday is REAL... and are things I am really doing.

and I look at that and smile, b/c I know that all of this, I built from scratch, and now I can feel accomplished because I made something.

ANYWHO.
I'm getting off topic.
All I wanted to say in this is I have a bunch of FAKE FRIENDS.
and they know who they are. and they know I know who they are.

And I think its sad, that people would have to do any of these things to feel better about themselves b/c THEY are the sad, miserable ones in the end.
NOT ME!

I am blessed to have REAL friends,
who REALLY care for and about me.

DINA (god bless her) puts up with all my shit, and is always there for me, through every business deal I have gotten or lost, she is the best friend, manager and room mate, I've EVER had. She is honestly one of the most amazing people I know.
(as she lays beside me snoring her brains out!)

DANIEL (jesus kid) we have been through everything, literally, you are the only guy friend I have, period. THE ONLY. I dont befriend guys, and I def. dont have gay guy friends. too much drama involved... but with me and you it just seemed right, you are the brother I never had, you are ALWAYS there for me, no matter what. You sit with me in my apartment with no electricity and stay with me until its turned back on. We moved half way across the world together. You've seen me naked, on many occasions, and I've seen you, we both know we're sexy, but still manage to resist each others drunken horniness. You are my best guy friend ever.. and the best drunken makeout buddy anyone could ever want.. LMAO

MY FAMILY IS AMAZING.

My sister is my HEART and SOUL and will always be, no matter what. She's the most amazing person I know besides those two up there and my grandparents and my mother.

Shelly has had my back through everything, Since we were little, And the bad stuff would happen, me and shelly would sit and hold each other. We've always had each others back and we always will. You're the best sister anyone could want.

MY GRANDPARENTS... you saved my life, in every way possible, and thats all I can really say. It sums everything up. You're are amazing. and I LOVE YOU BOTH UNCONDITIONALLY...

My Mom.... we havent always been best friends, and we both have had our rough spots, I know you didnt always understand me, but I'm glad you are here for me now, b/c now I need you the most.


OK SO NOW I'VE GOTTEN COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC...
The only thing I wanted to do by posting this bulletin was to show you all that you dont need FAKE FRIENDS...
and how to spot a FAKE FRIEND.
and how to get them out of your life.


TRUST ME... you dont need them, the fun you share for a few hours, isnt worth all the bullshit they put you through later..

If you are one of these people in my life..
and you just read this and thought to your self "I WONDER IF HE IS TALKING ABOUT ME" or you know that you have some of these symptoms, and you trash me behind my back. I will be confronting you shortly.

I've come to far and worked to hard to keep FAKE people in my life.
I work with enough of them already.
I dont need them as my friends!

TO EVERYONE ELSE...
I fucking love you!
and I always will.

Thanks for all your continued support.
you guys are the AMAZING ones!

- BRANDON HILTON
XOXOXOXOXO

BABY NEWS! *update*

I AM A GOD-PARENT... I never thought I'd get to say that... My best friend in the entire world from back home JENN, oh yea, We've been through our share of times, Known each other since kindergarten... Hated each other, loved each other, and in the end always realize that we are there for each other and will always be NO MATTER WHAT...... is pregnant...

I CRIED WHEN I FOUND OUT.... and I'm gonna be her babies "god daddy" or something like that... I'm just blown away.

I love you jennie... Just know that you are about to get REALLY FAT.... lol, but on a positive note, your boobies are gonna get HUGE... yay, we always wanted big boobies.. lol

Jennie you will always be my GWEN STEFANI!

 

I love NAOMI!

WE JUST LIKE TO PARTY.... PARTY PARTY YEA! Bang Bang!

11:31 PM - *** CALL ME SEXY! *** --- I want you to call me now! Current mood: excited Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities JUST CALL THAT NUMBER. ITS 100% FREE! LEAVE A SEXY VOICEMAIL. and I'm gonna call you back.. LOVE YOU GUYS. - BH I have a question to ask you! so answer it in your VOICE MAIL to me! What is your favorite song of mine? and if I could COVER any song right now. What would you like to hear me do? CALL ALL THE TIME. POST THAT BANNER ON YOUR PAGES. GET YOUR FRIENDS TO CALL. PRANK CALL ME. GET YOUR GRANDMA TO CALL ME (actually if you did that it would be AMAZING) and I'd prolly save that one for EVER! HELP PROMOTE ME AND THE SITE. and give your BOY to number one. LOVE YOU GUYS. CALL OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER...

I cut again. Everyone found out. I hate myself. She thinks I don't love him. Should I lie? If I lied and said I didn't have an ounce of feeling for the kid then he could have a life. he deserves more than me! what am I ugly as shit stupid all fuck'd up in no way do I deserve even his kindness he likes Gen I am a big retard she makes me soooo ahppy why does it have to end in pain I'm counting down the seconds until she remembers why she hated me last time I'm pathetic. Would God save me I want him back so bad but I can't I know he's offering but I know now more than ever i don't  deserve it Brandon's not going to be in speech. I think I'll go die now.

every thing changes I have some blonde hair now! Alleyne is moving Wed. and Angela and I are friends  again IDK what to do.... I mean I love it in soooooo many ways but I don't want her to hurt me agian and I don't know if I can be "friends" with Brandon but my dobts are not even close to being enough to have follow up they are just little thoughts that pass through my head as I sit wondering what to do it's 2:01 a.m. why am  I even awake? IDK that seems to be an all to common phrase for me these days...so I love Brandon and only privatley will I truely admit it but I have this friend him and i have always been very close the pb&J type thing our nick names for eachother (it's okay if you don't understand this it's from a book) are edward and Bella we just...Fit perfectly now brandon is 2 years younger than me and Nathaniel always used to bitch me out about it but the only reason he would chew me out is cause he was interested...but only when Brandon was he didn't wasnt to date me but didn't want anyone else to date me either... So Nathaniel is at this STUPID program in Chadron it's retarded and he met this girl (2 years younger than him) who from her profiles seems like a ditz and not at ALL the type of girl he ussually goes for he hasn't talked to me really since meeting her but her Myspace says things like: If Nathaniel and I got together it wold make this the perfect summer!!! :0 BLECK!!!!! come on YOU'RE 14!!!!!!!! it just disgusts me I've known Nathaniel for 4 year she's known him for 4 weeks and not even full weks at that!!!! I know I'm hating on her because I am jealous BUT WHAT"S THERE TO BE JEALOUS OF!!!???? She's icky and posery with the "cool" black and red hair she looks like crap take A MILLION pictures of her self/nathaniel and names them things like "there's me again again again lol :P" and "There's Nathaniel and Me CUTEEEEEESS! I totally less than 3 him!!" okay seriously love in not even a month with a guy in 3 weeks you're never gunna see agian???? get over your self it takes more than that "love" is not that easy and it shouldn't be if it was it wouldn't be worth it I just want to kick her butt and get it over with but then all that would do id leave Nathaniel with no one while I have Brandon even if we're not dating I know he'll still always care and want what we had just like me sooooo If Nathaniel is sooooooooo important  to me then why do I want to take away the ditzy skank who makes him happy?????????? IDunderstand