black parade Blog and Journals

'...and yet another teenage boy had been found dead in his hometown of Belleville, New jersey. Robert Nathaniel Cory Bryar, a sixteen year old student at Belleville High was found in the male bathroom at the before-mentioned school, yesterday afternoon. He had apparently suffered a knife wound to the chest and was found at two thirty pm, aproximately an hour after his death. Police experts are assuming that the student bled to death. Bryar's passing away has been the third of Belleville High students in the last two weeks. On April third - just eleven days ago - a student was also pronounced missing from his home. A police search followed shortly after, finishing when seventeen year old Raymond Manuel Toro Ortiz was found at the bottom of the Belleville river. His hands and feet were tied, leading to the conclusion that Ortiz was murdered. Two days later, on April fith, another student was found dead on Jersey Bridge. Also a former student at Belleville High, Gerard Arthur Way, seventeen, was also found a police officer, one day after his brother reported him as 'not getting home last night - I think something's happened to him'. Way had apparently 'gone to pieces' after hearing about the death of Ortiz the same day as his death. So far it appears that the cause of Way's death was overdose of alcohol and unprescribed pills - basically suicide. If anyone has any information on these cases, please call this-'

'SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!' I yell, spinning around and kicking the radio so it flies across the room and crashes into my bedroom door. 'No one's gonna fuckin' call that line cause obviously no one is awake enough to see what's going on around them...Jesus Christ.' I'm so frustrated I want to scream. Instead, I settle with shattering the window.

It doesn't hurt...not as much as I'm hurting inside...why does nobody understand? How many more innocent people are gonna have to die before they gather enough evidence to prove it's Them who are doing this?

'Michael dear,' my mom calls from outside my bedroom door - shit, she must have heard the glass breaking - but her voice is dead, she's broken. Completely fucked. As the rest of my family are, and probably Bobby Bryar's and Ray Toro's too. They all deserve to die, I sing under my breath. I think mom's gone now. Good...that means I can screw myself over some more.

Later on.

I'm walking over to Frank's mom's place that evening, struggling for breath cause I deliberately forgot my inhaler. I needed to get outta the house, and I'd been helping Frank with his homework for a few nights before...Gee...left. So, where better a place to go now?

When I get there, I knock on the paint-peeling front door - the bell doesn't work - then step back and wait. I'm seriously out of breath and I can feel my chest starting to tighten up. Frank opens the front door and I practically fall on top of him.

'Oh fuck Mikey, you're literally half dead! he exclaims, wriggling out, then suddenly freezing. 'Oh my god...shit...I'm really sorry - I forgot...and now I feel like a total asshole-'

'It's fine Frank, just forget it,' I gasp, rolling onto my back and staring up at him. My chest is starting to loosen up now though - shame really, it's not like I care anymore. He grabs my hand and pulls me up.

'C'mon, my room.' I follow him up the stairs to his bedroom where we go in and I sit on the floor while he locks the door. 'Right Mikes...are you okay?' Its funny how he's trying to sympathise - he's obviously completely crap at it - but I can't laugh, or even smile...I just don't feel up to it.

'Can I move in here with you Iero? No shit, I mean it - I can't cope at home as it is, mom and dad and the rest of the family are just making it so much worse...' Frank giggles nervously.

'Shit dude, I'd love to say yeah but we just can't afford it...besides, mom would think we're gay lovers or something...' At that I start laughing hysterically; I'm freaking myself out, but it's all good, Frankie's laughing too, at least I'm laughing for once...

Later on (again)

I'm standing at the top of the cliff, the wind is fucking up my hair and making my eyes water. I'm gasping for breath yet I'm enjoying the blissful feeling of peace, the regrets, the tears, the scars all washing away. Frank must have got me sooo messed up - I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow, but I don't care...Gee would have said something along the lines of "fuck it, let's live for today Mikes - after all, you gotta have some escape, even in the darkest times". So that's what I'm doing, I'm finding my escape.

I hear a twig snapping behind me, and I spin round, perfectly steady even though I'm drunk. They're there, I know it, and I feel a strange sense of deja'vu; this is how Ray Toro died...except he was further down, where the river goes along in line with the cliff.

'I know you're there,' I say loudly, surprisingly confident for me. 'You got them didn't you? First it was Ray...what the hell did he ever do to you? Then my brother, Gee. It was cause of you guys that he killed himself y'know. He wasn't scared though. And then Bobby too. Was that cause you didn't like the fact that he wasn't scared of you? Was it cause he was exactly the same as you - 'cept he was gay? Well whatever, you're not getting me in the same way.' I suddenly push forward, through the little gang and begin to run, back towards civilisation. I'm not scared, if they kill me then fine, it makes no difference. I've been waiting for death since I was ten - four fuckin' years.

The highway isn't far away now, I can hear it. Even though it's after eleven, cars are still speeding up and down. Belleville must be a popular place...weird how I never noticed before. I'm panting for breath and I can hear them behind me, closing up the gap. Most, if not all of them, are the really sporty jocks, the ones who win every game. So I'm not surprised they can run faster then me.

The lights are blinding now, I'm at the highway, yet I can't seem to stop...and neither can they!

There's a screech of brakes and something hits me in the side, so painfully that I bounce off it and spin round, noticing, as my world goes black, that some of them are still running.