Ashlee Simpson Blog and Journals

Like a grain on the beach
Like a star in the sky
Far too many to count with the naked eye
They won't see you

Go ahead
Walk on by
You don't know I'm alive
Maybe one day you'll find
You should open your eyes
You don't know me

You're the one who looked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible
And you're the one who walked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible

Little things adding up
Try so hard not to rush
Giving in, letting go of the world we know
They won't see you

Force it down
Lose the taste
They all think it's a waste
We don't need to believe every word they say, no
They don't know me

You're the one who looked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible
And you're the one who walked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible

It's so easy to be lost
But maybe you're not lost at all

Do you recognize me?
Do you know who I am?
Do you see me now?
Do you see me now?

hey anyone notice how long these chapters are getting!?
i'll try to shorten them down :)
enjoy!

I'll promise you anything but another shot at life -
Chapter 9

Dear Pete,
               You know I’m going to bring up the fact that we nearly kissed, inches away from your lips, tantalisingly close to a fantasy.
I don’t Patrick was too happy.
Do you try to kiss a lot of girls then?
Maybe he’s just sick of it.
I don’t know him like you do.
You’re a lot more mysterious than people give you credit for, you barely talk about anything.
But you opened up to me.
Do you like me?
Can you trust me?
I would never betray you.
Ashlee didn’t look pleased to see me either.
Why is it that people take an instant dislike to me?
I hope you didn’t, I don’t know what was going on in your mind but I hope you didn’t try to kiss me because you felt sorry for me being a kissing virgin and all.

Your ever faithful admirer and one-sided pen-pal.

Marie xxx

Ashlee had walked on that bus like the Queen of Sheba.
“Pete!” she squealed and leapt at him, I watched as she hugged him tight and whispered in his ear.

“Ash!” he laughed back swinging her round. I begun to regret having so much Pizza after all and the water churned it all round like a butter churner.

“I just had to come out and see you!” she pulled back to stroke his face. “I missed you.” she pouted.

“I missed you too.” he smiled a million dollars and kissed her. My heart plummeted, that could have been me attached to that mouth. I shifted uneasily, crossing my arms and looking away distastefully.

“Hey Marie, why don’t we give these two some privacy.” Patrick nodded pointedly towards Pete and Ashlee locked together and I let Patrick put a guiding hand on my back and lead me into his bedroom, I didn’t really like being led around but I couldn’t stand in the same room with Pete when he had done a three sixty on me.
“Marie I know you look up to Pete…” he closed the door and deposited me on the bed and standing over me. “…but I think you should know he kisses a lot of people on our tour.” I looked down not wanting to hear this about the one person who kept me from the abyss all these years.

“Why are you telling me this? Why aren’t you telling Ashlee?” I mumbled gripping Patrick’s sheets in my hands feeling the clean fabric on my sweaty palms.

“Because she wouldn’t believe me.” he scoffed. “and besides it’s none of my business between them but I’m looking out for you.”

“Well thanks but I think I’m okay.” I shook my head. “we didn’t even kiss! Honestly you walked in before we could.” I looked up at him and the light was reflecting on him in a different way. Patrick smiled and reached out to pat my shoulder. Some long forgotten instinct made me lift my own hand and hold it over his own my shoulder.

“Good, he’d only dump you.” he slid his hand up my neck and held it on my cheek. I still held it and I leaned into it appreciating the non-conceited human contact. I looked up at Patrick’s sweet face wondering why I never got the good guy. Neither of us could tear ourselves away from the connection, locked together in a flurry of buried emotions we didn’t even flinch when someone knocked on the door.

“Marie?” Hayley called through the wood and my gaze turned into a disappointed one when I sighed and slid my hand out and crumpled into my lap. Patrick unlocked the door and revealed Hayley’s dismissive look.

“Can I help you?” Patrick asked polite as a butter muffin.

“Marie what’s wrong?” she pushed herself past Patrick and squatted in front of me.

“Nothing.” I made her jump by swinging myself back upwards smiling like a maniac.

“Just tired.” I got up and left Patrick’s room. As I did Pete and Ashlee were sitting on the sofa round the table in front of the T.V. so I sat next to Joe instead.

“Oh and Ash, this is Marie.” Pete noticed me as Joe started a conversation and did he think now was a good time to introduce me to his wife?

“Hi.” I waved, she waved back nonchalant, before stroking Pete’s face again. They went back to canoodling and I felt so tired my eyes were closing and I’d blink only to wake up and find I’d been having a quick nap. I leant sleepily into Joe finding his chest somewhat more comfortable.

“Marie shouldn’t you be going bed?” Hayley was pottering around in the kitchen as she noticed me leaning heavily on Joe. My body betrayed me by yawning.

“No I’m fine.” I shrugged continuing to watch what was on the T.V. Hayley brought some mugs over and a brandy bottle.

“Hi, I’m Ashlee.” Ashlee held her hand out to Hayley but studying her perfect pale skin and fiery hair cut bitterly.

“Hayley.” Hayley answered ignoring her hand and continuing to pour the tea. Ashlee dejected decided she would have some Brandy. “Here.” Hayley skid a small glass with only a trickle of brandy in it for me across the table.

“Uh!” Patrick protested coming into the seating area next to me. “serving alcohol to underage is illegal!” he protested.

“Whatever.” Hayley shrugged handing Andy a glass as he joined us too.

“It’s not like we didn’t do it.” Andy pointed out smartly and made us all squish up to fit him in. Hayley now had no where to sit.

“Wait.” Joe put his already drained glass down on the table and pulling me onto his lap. I squealed but was secretly thrilled. I WAS SITTING ON JOE TROHMAN’S LAP. Jealous? I would be. Hayley frowned but then was able to slip in on the end with her small frame, at last, something we shared.

“Cheers!” we all held our glasses up together and clinked them.

“Should you be having more?” Hayley asked rudely as she watched Ashlee pour herself another glass.

“I shouldn’t be having any.” I tried to divert the tension in laughter and slammed my glass down. Ashlee scoffed but Pete poured her more anyway. Patrick was looking down to the bottom of his glass the whole time and you could almost mistake him for being asleep until he finally spoke up.

“I’m too tired to argue again.” he sounded like a scolded little boy talking to his parents. It was enough to make everyone shut up.

“Marie don’t you think it’s time you went to bed.” I looked up to protest to Hayley but she was glaring angrily across the table, it wasn’t her who’d said it. We all look stunned to Ashlee.

“What?” she snapped. “I’m just saying!” she snorted.

“Well you don’t have to because she’s my sister.” Hayley hissed menacingly.

“Really?” she looked between us.

“I never would have thought it!”

“Why’s that?” Hayley raised an eyebrow expressively.

“Because you look nothing alike!” she gestured sloppily at us. “You.” she pointed drunkenly to Hayley “are one the prettiest girls I’ve seen and you.” she pointed to me. “are one of the most plain.” I jumped up from Joe’s lap ready to stalk out but Patrick pushed me back down.

“Just ignore her.” he whispered.

“Beauty is the eye of the beholder.” Hayley muttered and swirled her drink.

“Mm…” Pete looked at me but I refused to look back, instead I shifted uneasily.

“And if anything.” Ashlee persisted on embarrassing herself and us all. “I’d say you were her mother, you look like the young mum type.” Hayley did something outrageous then. Not totally uncalled for mind but still, she was never one really to lash out at people, not even when something really annoyed her, she would breathe deeply and just count back from ten tapping the palm of her hand.
She gave Ashlee a proper smack round the face though. Pete was incomplete shock and rage, Patrick was stunned. Andy gave the resemblance of someone watching something amazing Joe was like a rabbit in the headlights. I had my mouth open Ashlee was furious and clutching the cheek Hayley had hit.

“It’s no more than you deserve.” she accused and slammed off into our room.

“Did you see that?” Ashlee gasped. “She hit me! She fucking hit me!” she shouted not caring that Hayley was only metres away. “Aren’t you going to do anything?” Ashlee turned to Pete who was still shell shocked.

“You shouldn’t have called her a skank.” I pointed out.

“I didn’t!”

“Not in so many words!” I accused and made my way out the table pushing past the boys.

“This is what happens when you let just anyone win your competitions!” I heard her say as I tried to open our bedroom door. It was locked so I had to knock.

“Hayley?” I knocked on it. There was no answer. I’d been used to this some many times back home, Hayley didn’t like anyone to see to her cry so she would lock me out for a whole night if so. I groaned and Pete came past leading Ashlee by the hand who was still clutching her face like a war victim.

“Shame.” she muttered quietly as I failed to get in again. Pete couldn’t even look at me. Patrick eventually came out.

“Marie?” I smiled when he called my name.

“She won’t let me in.” I sighed.

“Stay with me, come on.” he opened his door for us and I got changed in the bathroom into my shorts and vest and climbed apprehensively into his bed with him. “Don’t mind Ashlee, she’s just hormonal.” Patrick patted my back and curled up tighter into a ball. I could hear groaning coming from Hayley’s room.

“Do you hear Hayley?” I sat up right alerting Patrick.

“Probably Pete and Ashlee is all.” he rolled his clear eyes and went back to sleep. I wasn’t so sure, and I should have trusted this instinct.

Would I find out what made Hayley snap?

Would Pete ever look at me again?

Would Ashlee behave herself?

I wish.

okay, now comment, buzz and let me know what you think ;)

Last week Buzznet member Mariala gave you your homecoming fashion tips, this week of ScarletMadeline's Makeup Mastermind lets learn how to do your makeup for homecoming. Even if you are not your school's homecoming king or homecoming queen, you should still know how to standout at homecoming. Get yourself the look for free with ScarletMadeline's lesson, look at Betsy Johnson dresses, Kim Kardashian's eyes and Ashlee Simpson's smile. Homecoming look ...

What are you wearing for homecoming?

If you could take any celebrity as a date for the dance, who would it be?

XOX,

Twitter.com/DarlaMakeup

DarlaMakeup.com

Myspace.com/ScarletMadeline

For those of u that voted early on here are the latest poll results:

Brendon Urie: 85%

Pete Wentz: 15%

It looks like the masses have spoken and they say that Brendon's backside is the best!!!!!

Congrats Bden, unless Pete's fans step up, ur toosh is winner.

Back when Ryan & Brendon were ryry & brenny :(

I was playin around on my computer & found a folder full of old pics, some r really old lol, just wierd random things.  So i figured wat better thing 2 do than post them for all to see :)

Also there's that 'who has the hotter toosh?' poll goin on (its on my poll page) i'm not sure how long it'll be runnin 4 so u should vote soon!!!

so....

Well surprisingly i honestly dont hav much 2 say today...... but if anyone has anythin interesting 2 say im def up 4 chatting.

Ashlee Simpson Kicks Hubby Pete Wentz Out Of The House!

Posted on September 5, 2009

It’s being reported that Ashlee Simpson believes her husband Pete Wentz is cheating on her and has thrown him out! Read more on this story below.

There have been rumors for a while now about trouble in the Simpson/Wentz marriage. Ashlee put her life on hold for a while to care for their son Bronx. But Pete has never slowed down, and continues to party.

Star Magazine is reporting that Ashlee has discovered proof that Pete is cheating on her and is consulting with divorce lawyers.

Star magazine reports:

It was Ashlee’s worst nightmare come true. Ashlee was rummaging around in a guest bedroom in her $4.7 million Beverly Hills home on Aug. 19, she discovered what she believed to be evidence of husband Pete Wentz cheating on her, a friend tells Star. Ashlee was so distraught that she dropped off their 9-month-old son, Bronx, at her parents’ house and checked into a hotel, even though Pete was performing with Fall Out Boy in St. Louis that night. “I can’t stand being at that house anymore,” Ashlee, 24. told her pal. “I need to clear my head. I have a lot on my plate, and my marriage is stressing me out.”

But when she called Pete to talk things out, he didn’t answer, which only enraged her. After repeatedly calling him (and getting his voicemail), Ashlee finally reached her husband – and snapped. An insider says she screamed, “Don’t even bother coming home! I don’t want to look at you!”

She must have struck a nerve, because that same night, Pete posted on Twitter, “Money doesn’t grow on trees. Neither does happiness,” before referring to himself as an “a–hole.” Four days later, he took a break in the band’s tour and traveled hoe to L.A. Pete Twittered about his excitement to see his son – but made no mention of his wife: “Can’t wait to see the little homie.”

As Star reported, Ashlee has long suspected her husband of getting too close to the young female musical acts he works with, Hey Monday and Millionaires and she can’t take the flirting anymore! “Ashlee doesn’t trust Pete at all,” says an insider. “They fight all the tie and sometimes don’t speak for days. Things have gotten bad. Pete doesn’t want to deal with Ashlee and her drama.”

Pete’s flirting sparked the latest public brawl between him and Ash at the one-year anniversary of his Chicago bar, Angels & Kings, on Aug. 15. Although he hadn’t seen his wife in almost a month and she’d come to town just for the day to support him, Pete, 30, quickly left Ash in the VIP area to hit the DJ booth and party with friends. After an hour and a half, she’d had enough and stormed over to her inebriated husband, says an eyewitness. “Ashlee was fumin. She yelled at Pete, ‘Enough! Let’s go!’”

Wow, this doesn’t sound too good for Pete and Ashlee. Do you guys think their marriage can take the strain or do you expect them to divorce?

(via stupidcelebrities.net)

I hope this isnt true!! even if it is its so not Cassadee! they are such a cute couple! if its true Pete is an idiot!

but this does explain why Pete has just been going out with Bronx without Ashlee.... but werent they doing that 'guess who' thing at clandestine together 2 days ago?

this is why i dont think its true

What's in a picture? A story? A conversation, perhaps? A panoramic view of the city? If the latter is true, then I'm getting ripped off! I get sent pictures every week and all I ever see is my computer screen! Maybe next week... Until then, I'm going to stick with what I know: picture analysis. I can find the story or conversation in almost any picture. If you don't believe me, you are wrong. If you believe me, you are wrong. Analyzing time ...

It seems like there's nothing potentially controversial Perez Hilton won't post on his blog, including things that may or not be true. Of course, we know it's gossip, but some people don't think it's funny at all, especially when the one they love is messed with. And Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is no exception. Rawr!

So, Fall Out Boy announced to MTV today that, after the end of their tour with Blink-182, they are going on an indefinite hiatus. Ready for it?

1.TV show-90210 or OC?

2.Dating with a rocker-Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz or Nicole Richie and Joel Madden?

3.New or old Audrey Kitching?

4.Disney star girl-Miley Cyrus or Vanessa Hudgens?

5.Model style-Erin Wasson or Kate Moss?

6.Twins-Mary-Kate Olsen or Ashley Olsen?

7.Style icon-Lindsay Lohan or Lauren Conrad?

8.InStyle Magazine-Rachel Bilson or Leighton Meester?

9.Better actress-Jessica Alba or Keira Knightley?

10.Former best friends-Audrey Kitching and Zui Suicide or Audrey Kitching and Hanna Beth?

Pick yours and let me know!

XOXO