aiden Blog and Journals

days before you came

2

"Jenna, you know we still haven't technically gotten permission to go to that festival," Josie said as she thoughtfully stared at the tickets.

"Oh well. I got them, didn't I?" Jenna said with a cocky tone.

She sprawled herself out on her bed and quietly chuckled to herself. She always felt empowered when having accomplished something that was technically forbidden. She felt it gave her an air of power and confidence.

"I don't know," Josie suddenly said, placing the tickets near Jenna on the bed.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" she said and sat up, eyes following Josie as she thoughtfully paced back and forth.

"I don't think we should go. You know Mom wouldn't want us to. Well, she wouldn't want you to, that's for sure."

"Well I'm going no matter what. I worked way too hard to obtain these damn tickets. There's no way in Hell I'm letting the opportunity of a lifetime slip away. Are you crazy?" she said in disbelief.

"No, I'm a realist; an entirely different thing. I just know we'd get ourselves into big problems if we went," she said and nodded.

"Well, it's not like the ticket has your name on it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't have to go with me. I can always tag wiL along," she said and bent down, placing the tickets in a small box under her bed.

"wiL? No. Definitely not him. Besides, I do want to go. It's just that I don't think we should. It'll just cause all sorts of problems that--"

"Do you want to see Placebo or not?" Jenna sternly shot out.

"Yes, I want to see them but--"

"But, nothing! We're going, okay? So stop with your annoying, pessimistic ranting."

"Question," Josie started and looked towards Jenna with concern.

"What?"

"How did you get those tickets?"

"Well I have them, don't I? That's all that matters," she dryly responded and pulled a cigarette out of the box next to her bed.

"Well, you did say you worked hard to get them. I just want to know, that's all."

"Just know that it wasn't easy for me and that we have to go. Because after working so hard to get them, it would be fucking stupid not to go. There, now don't ask me anything else," she said in between puffs of smoke.

"Stop smoking. You're like a damn chimney. Don't you ever think about anyone besides yourself?" Josie said in disbelief.

"Why, because I'm having a smoke? Hand me that ashtray, will you?"

"No, I'm not handing you anything. I just want to know how you got those tickets. Tell me already, damn it!"

"You know, that's actually my personal business. All you have to do, is mind your stuff, and go to the show. No questions asked. Just trust me, okay?" she scoffed and crushed the cigarette against the ashtray across the room.

"No offense, but you're just a hard person to trust. Look, whatever it is you did to get the tickets, don't do it ever again. I know it must have been bad, because knowing you--"

"Knowing me, what? What are you insinuating?"

"Nothing. You know what it is you did. I won't bother you about it anymore. When is the festival again?" Josie curiously questioned, a small grin forming on her lips.

"Now you're interested?" Jenna said and smugly rolled her eyes.

"I was interested to begin with. Just tell me."

"In three days. Man, I don't think I can wait that long! Maybe we can meet them and I can, you know..." Jenna hinted and suggestively winked.

"You're not going to do anything. We're just going to the show to enjoy ourselves. Not to act slutty, got it?" Josie warned and pointed a finger at her.

"Hey, you said enjoy ourselves. That's exactly what I plan on doing."

"You'll never change, will you? You'd think that case of mono you had not long ago would have done something, but no; you're still the same cocky, self-absorbed girl as always," Josie sighed in defeat.

"Don't even remind me of that. It was horrible. Always ruining my moments of joy with something negative. You're such a pessimist."

"Whatever. I'm leaving. Night," she said and stormed out, slamming the door shut.

"Fuck you then. I go and get you tickets and that's how you thank me!" Jenna yelled in response as she walked up to the closed door, locking it.

 She then jumped, landing flat against the bed, staring at the ceiling in thought. Her sister always tried to bring her down when she was in a good mood. It would usually work, too. But this time, Jenna was not going to let anything bring her down. Not during these days, at least. She was feeling much too happy to think negatively. She lay, slightly grimacing at the thought of setting foot out of her room. She knew her Mom was disappointed and the mere thought nearly killed her. She hated being the cause of her Mom's disappointment. She could care less if she disappointed her Father; he didn't genuinely care about her anyway. She decided she would stay in her room all night. At least until the morning came and forced her to open the door. She didn't even feel like talking to anyone. Not even wiL. Especially after the way he had rejected her earlier. It was almost as if he didn't want her. At least that's what it seemed like to her. All she wanted, was to be alone. To be able to stare at the tickets all night long. And smoke. Yes, the only two things that comforted her at this point...

"What the Hell are you doing here?" Jenna sternly asked as she peered her head through the car door.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to take you to school. Get in," wiL said and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"What if I don't want to? I'm still pissed at you for what you did yesterday."

"And what is it I did, according to you?" he sarcastically said.

"You pretty much fuckin' rejected me. You know how much that sets me off," she angrily muttered as she looked around.

"Don't want anyone to see you. Leave."

"I'm not leaving without you. Get in the damn car already. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, but I just didn't want you to receive shit from your parents. I really care about you. So get in, will you? Don't want your folks to see me. Plus, I have some Placebo in the car," he said and gave her a wide smile.

She couldn't resist wiL, she knew that much. She loved treating him like shit, but at the same time she felt he had a great hold on her. She was crazy about him.

"Fine, whatever. You said Placebo and that's what got me," she chuckled and stepped inside the car.

"Good, now we can finally leave," he muttered and turned the volume up.

"Ah, Special K!" Jenna excitedly exclaimed.

"Uh-huh. Pretty much your favourite Placebo song, isn't it?" he said with a suggestive smirk.

"Yeah, pretty much. Though you know I love all."

"Yep. I'm playing it for a reason, though."

"Because I like it, right?"

"Yeah, that too. But for another reason."

"Okay, stop going around in circles and tell me," Jenna scoffed and gave an irritable nod.

"What would you say if I told you I have some in my possession?" wiL said as he looked directly towards the road.

"Have some what? What do you have up your sleeve?" Jenna questioned as she felt a grin trace the corners of her lips.

"Hold on. I have to stop somewhere discreet," he lowly muttered as he kept driving.

Jenna felt herself steadily get more excited as the minutes passed. She loved wiL's surprises. They usually meant taking some sort of risk and the thought alone enticed her.

"Alright. No one will see us around here," he said while looking around cautiously.

"I thought you were taking me to school," Jenna sarcastically said and gave him a playful shove.

"And I am. But I knew you were upset yesterday and I thought I could make it up to you now," he said as a rummaged through a gray duffel bag.

"Well, it better be something big and worth my time because if you think you can just--"

She stopped mid sentence as soon as she saw what it was he had pulled out from the bag. She eyed the syringe in his hand with wonder as he smugly held it toward her.

"What the Hell is that?" She said and roughly snatched it from his hand.

"What do you think?"

"You tell me," she said and continued curiously eying the clear fluid inside the syringe.

"It's Special K. Why else would I have played the song especially for you?"

"Where did you get this?"

"Not telling you. It took me a while and was definitely not easy to acquire. So use it wisely," he said with an arrogant smile.

Jenna remained staring straight into the fluid-filled tube. She had never seen what Ketamine really looked like up until this point. She really didn't consider herself an avid drug user and wasn't even sure she wanted to start being one. The only drugs she had ever really done with frequency were marijuana and alcohol. There was one instance of cocaine, but that was only once and she didn't recall enjoying it very much. She then started thinking about how irritated her nose and eyes remained for the longest time afterward. Not only that, the fact her Mom had witnessed her behaviour was something Jenna still hadn't forgiven herself for. Just the way she--

"So are you gonna try it out or not? Or would you rather stare at it?" wiL suddenly shot out.

"Fuck you. I'm just looking at it, gosh. I don't even know how to use this. Have you used it before?" she curiously questioned.

"Yeah, a couple times. I wouldn't be giving it to you if I hadn't. Just try it out."

"But where do I inject this shit? I really don't know anything about it," she said and handed him the syringe.

"Give me your leg," he said and extended his arm toward her.

"My leg? What for?"

"Just do it," he muttered and snapped the cap off with his teeth.

She stared at him, not quite knowing what to do next. Did she really want to start using Special K? Maybe just one time wouldn't hurt. It wouldn't be enough to become an addict. Plus, she always enjoyed trying new things.

"Whatever, here," she muttered and extended her leg, setting it down on his lap.

He pressed at the bottom of the syringe lightly, causing a few drops to sprinkle out and land on her leg.

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to roll your jean up," he said and tapped the side of the tube with his finger.

"Fine, but hurry. I'm gonna be super late," she said and began rolling it up.

"How late?" wiL muttered.

"Pretty late. It's already 7:45. I get in at 8:00. Gosh, wiL," she said and hesitantly placed her leg back on top of his lap.

"Well at least you have a damn ride. So stop bitching. Okay. Ready?" He said with a sly grin.

"Not really. But whatever. Just do it already," she said, her eyes pressed shut.

She held her breath as she waited to feel the needle go in. She really wasn't sure what to expect. She suddenly felt wiL's grip wind tight around her calf until it felt like he was pinching.

"Shit, stop pinching so hard," she whispered and tightened her lids even more.

"Have to do it, babe. Just hold on a sec. Won't take long at all."

"Damn it!" she yelled as soon as she felt the sharp stinging sensation of the needle entering her skin, followed by a dull, numbing sensation.

Her leg began tingling, progressively losing feeling and she felt her head slightly tilt back. She slowly opened her eyes and saw wiL slowly pull the needle out, causing her to slightly flinch.

"There, all done. That wasn't so bad, now was it?" he mockingly said and let out a low chuckle.

"Uh, no. Not... so bad," she muttered and looked around.

"wiL, what's that butterfly doing over your head? Give it to me!"

"Ha, it's happening. There's no butterfly over my head. You're hallucinating. Usually happens within the first minute or so after injecting. Relax, doll."

"Stop the car. I feel like I'm gonna hurl," she said and began to roll the window down.

"Whoa, stop it. You're gonna fall out of the damn car," he said and pulled her back in by the leg.

"Hey, calm down. The hallucinating will stop soon. Just give it another minute. And whatever you do, please don't hurl in here. I just vacuumed this car two days ago. Found so many ashes, wow. So yeah, are you feeling better?" he asked and held her chin up to eye level.

"Your pupils are getting sort of dilated. Damn. Maybe I should have administered less."

"How much did you inject?" Jenna asked and shook her head away from his grip.

"About 100 mg. Milliliters, I should say since it's liquid. But it's really not that big of a dose at all. I just don't want you to be completely trashed at school."

"Then don't take me. Gosh, I feel like a balloon," she said and lightly tugged on his sleeve.

"Well you missed school yesterday. I'm thinking you should go. It won't be such a drag to be there since you're feeling better. Plus I don't want your absences to be obvious, you know?"

"But I feel way too great to go to that shit hole. Don't make me go!" she exclaimed and started hopping up and down in her seat.

"I'm taking you. But I'm also gonna pick you up after school so we can fool around, maybe get loaded on some more Special K. Sound fair?" he said and kissed her forehead.

"Uh-huh, fine. Hurry up and drive then. I want to get out of this car and jump around, or something."

Before she even felt time pass by, they were in front of the school campus. She immediately flung the car door open without saying a word and stumbled out. She felt great and as if she were walking through air. She suspected Special K would end up becoming a big part of her life. If she let it, that is.

TO BE CONTINUED. :)

So? What do you think? Hope you liked it.

Yeah..... tell me what you think, kiddies.

xD

a friend with weed is better

1

Walking down the narrow, sandy sidewalk, Jenna swiftly flipped her skimpy hood over her head, eyes cautiously roaming her surroundings. She reached a hand deep into her pocket, making sure the merchandise was safely stored inside.

"Got it," she muttered as she continued making her way towards the alley.

She soon felt a craving to dip her hand into her other pocket, just wanting a simple drag to calm her edged nerves.

"Too many people, damn it."

She just wanted to get to the meeting place already and get the whole thing over with. All she wanted, was to feel the thin laminated sensation of the tickets in her hand; to be able to hold them tight and proudly flash them in front of her sister. Jenna was used to getting everything she wanted; at all costs. Even if it meant lowering her standards. At any rate, she wasn't used to sitting around without doing anything. The world was her playground, or so she viewed it to be that way. She suddenly felt cool beads of perspiration gently roll down the back of her now sticky neck as she approached her desired location. And there he was, waiting for her discreetly, rapidly chewing as he impatiently tapped his foot on the ground.

"Got the stuff?" he questioned in between loud masticating.

"Yes. How about you? And please, stop chewing like that. You look like a fuckin' cow," she complained as she stared him down in annoyance.

"You better fuckin' shut up, little girl. Now, give me the grass," he said and extended his long arm.

"Not until you show me the tickets."

"Okay, okay. Here, you see 'em. Now hand it over."

"Okay, got it here," Jenna said and pulled a shiny baggy from her pocket.

"Hm, doesn't look like the amount you promised me," he said as he squinted.

"Well, it is. Plus, this stuff's strong. It'll be pretty long before you completely use it up. Just so you know."

"Hm. Well okay. I guess this is worth two tickets to that festival of yours. Here you go, doll."

"Thanks, Billy. Take care," she said after snatching the tickets from his clammy grasp.

"Lucky I don't ask you for more. I'll be contacting you later, so expect a call, babe!" Billy called out from behind her.

"Text would be better!" she called out in response and continued making her way towards the sidewalk.

She walked while staring down at the tickets with a huge smile printed across her face. She couldn't believe she had just sold marijuana for these tickets.

"Anything for Placebo," she said and smiled to herself.

She carefully slipped the tickets inside her pocket, and in turn slipped out a joint she had previously rolled. With the joint firmly tucked within her palm, Jenna sat on the sand and stared at the waves colliding against one another and then disintegrating, smoothing the crusty sand into a wet shiny mantle. Reaching into her back pocket, she was soon disappointed at not finding her lighter. She usually always had one stashed somewhere on her. Maybe her nerves at what she had just done caused her to forget it.

"Fuck, and when I want a hit so bad," she muttered while staring straight ahead.

She loved this beach. Just how isolated it was. There was hardly anyone ever around, so she could pretty much always do as she pleased around here. Ever since that shooting occurred at the beach, no one wanted to ever show up again. But that didn't phase Jenna. She actually found the idea of taking risks to be quite enticing.

"Surprised you haven't lit it yet," she heard a familiar voice say behind her.

"Damn it, wiL. You scared me," she said and rolled her eyes at him.

"Well, didn't mean to. Just knew you'd be here, somehow. Oh, and saw your stale joint; just caught my attention," he remarked and sat next to her, playfully nudging her shoulder.

"Yeah, forgot my lighter. You wouldn't happen to have one around, would you?"

"Actually, yeah. I do. Here," he said and lit the roach.

"Thanks," she muttered and took a long drag.

"So, why here all alone?" he curiously asked as he lit his own roach.

"What, I can't want to be alone? Do I always have to have someone around?"

"Well no. But I just thought you'd tell me you were planning on coming here, you know?"

"Well maybe I just wanted, no scratch that; want to be alone. This is kind of my place of peace. It's where I feel best. You know that. Plus, I did something," she said, concealing her face inside her hood.

"Did something? I don't think I'm liking your tone. What did you do?" wiL asked as he tried to get a better look at Jenna's face.

She didn't bother responding. Instead, she pulled the tickets out from her pocket and held them toward his face.

"Hey, aren't those the tickets you've been bothering your parents about for so long?"

"Uh-huh. These are the tickets. And I finally have them in my possession," she remarked with a satisfied grin.

"Well congrats, babe. Glad your parents finally caved and got you the tickets. You must be pretty excited, huh?" he enthusiastically said, smoke flaring through his nostrils.

"Well yeah, of course I'm excited. But my parents haven't exactly given in to letting me go. You know, with how bad I'm doing in school and all," she nervously chuckled, now feeling a hint of embarassment.

She knew wiL was aware of her determined personality, but she wasn't really sure she wanted to tell him about her drug dealing. His opinion of her would then be prone to changing. She knew she treated him like shit a lot of the time, but the bottom line was she did really love him and truly cared about what her thought of her.

"Uh, okay. So how did you get the tickets then?"

"I made a little deal. I don't do it often. Only when totally necessary. I mean it," she shot out, not wanting to directly look at him.

"Are you trying to say you made a drug deal?" wiL asked and slipped her hood off her head.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. But you know how much this festival means to me. Ever since first finding out about it, I knew I had to go. Bottom line."

"So where'd you get the grass? Because that's what you traded for those tickets, isn't it?" he sternly said, knowing exactly what the answer would be.

He just wanted to hear it from her.

"Okay, so I got some from you. I'm sorry, wiL. But I had to do it. It was the only way of guaranteeing the tickets. Billy had them reserved for me."

"And you gave my weed to Billy? Seriously, Jenna? Damn, you crossed the line. You know I can't stand that asshole," wiL muttered and harshly pulled Jenna's hood over her head.

"Ow, damn. I'm sorry, wiL. I know I shouldn't have used it that way. You know I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for a very important reason," she insisted and lightly tugged his arm.

"If it weren't because I know how badly you want to see Placebo, I swear I'd probably stop giving you grass all together. But I know how much you love them, so I'll let it slip just this once. I love you, Jenna, but sometime you just cross the line. And in the end, you always get your way," he said and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"It won't happen again. And if I ever have the urge to do something like that again, I'll definitely be sure to ask you first, okay?"

"Yeah, and don't hide stuff like that from me. I'd actually prefer if you didn't get involved in dealing at all. You're my girl, so I just want you to be safe," he said and embraced her in a tight hug.

"So, Jenna?" wiL suddenly whispered.

"What?"

"Shouldn't you be getting home soon? It's half past five. Didn't school let out hours ago?"

"Yeah, at 2:30. But I didn't go. Didn't feel like bombing that Billy Budd test. I'll just sneak into her office and find an A paper to cheat off of," Jenna yawned and leaned into wiL's chest.

"But didn't you read the book?"

"Well yeah, I usually always read the lame novels given, but for some reason, always interpret it differently. So yeah, I bomb the tests... all the time," she said and began to laugh hysterically.

"Hm, well next time try not to bomb the test, because I know you read. So just try."

"I do! It's just I'm always half loaded, so guess that's why I suck so bad at the tests and quizzes; well everything school-related, to be honest. I just want to graduate and get the Hell out of here."

"Well lay off the weed when you go to school, okay?" he advised and tugged her hand, attempting to get her to stand up.

"Wait, where are you going?" Jenna questioned and tugged him back down towards her.

"I'm taking you home. I gotta hurry, too. You know, wouldn't want your parents seeing me drop you off. So come," he said and lifted her over his shoulder.

"No, stop. Get down here with me," she said and tugged him on top of her on the sandy ground.

"What are you doing, Jenna?" wiL questioned as she planted kisses up and down his neck.

"Come on, Jenna; I'm serious. We can do this another time," he grunted as he felt her undo his pants.

"Jenna, stop it. For real," he said, resisting less and less.

"You know you want to do this. Plus, there's no one here; no one is ever here. So what's the worse that could happen?" she said once straddling him down against the ground.

"It's not that. I know we can do each other over and over in this place and no one would ever see. What I'm talking about, is your parents. Oh, and your sister. She must be pretty tired of covering for you all the time."

"Please, she hardly ever covers for me as of lately. My parents already know I'm a screw-up, so there's no point. Now, stop talking and let me do you," she playfully giggled and slipped his pants down half-way.

"Uh, okay, get away from there," he groaned and pushed her head back.

"Come on, you're no fun," she complained and wiped her lips.

"Let's just head to your house already. We'll do this another time, okay?"

"Fine, whatever. Take me home then. We could have killed some time by messing around, but whatever. I wanted to lose it already," she muttered and angrily rolled her eyes.

She quickly stood up, ruffled her hair back in place, and took off. She rapidly paced away, not bothering to throw even a slight glance back at wiL. She hated rejection. If there was anything that could set her off, it was that. For someone who was used to obtaining all she desired, Jenna just found being rejected inconceivable. And that meant being rejected by anyone.

"Wait up! Where are you going?" wiL called out while buttoning his pants.

"Home, where else?" she irritably scoffed and started walking faster.

"Wait up. Let me take you," he said and grabbed her hand.

"You didn't want to be with me earlier, so why would you want to be with me now and take me home?"

"Jenna, you sound ridiculous. Now get in my car and let me take you home," he insisted.

"Fine. Just hurry. We could have killed a decent amount of time at the beach, but no; you didn't want to," she complained while looking out the window in distaste.

Aside from the beach, Jenna pretty much hated the rest of her surroundings. She would always find herself wishing she could be somewhere else. To be in a place where no one could tell her what to do. Where she wouldn't have to explain her actions to anyone. She pretty much never looked forward to anything. Except for getting loaded, that is. Now with the festival coming up, she finally felt like there was actually something worth looking forward to. She could just picture it perfectly in her head; singing along and going completely wild during Placebo's set. Nothing else really mattered to her at this point. And it was only three days away...

"Whoa, wait. No kiss or anything?" wiL said and held Jenna down.

"You said you wanted to hurry up and drop me off, didn't you? Well I'm hurrying. Can't let my parents see you. Now, let you, you asshole," she muttered and slapped his hand off.

"Gosh, this whole festival issue really has you acting like a little bitch," he said and slammed the car door before she could get a chance.

"Almost got my leg, you dick!" she yelled once his car angrily departed, its trail of fumes clouding her breath.

She then made sure to walk as slowly as she could manage to the front door. She really didn't feel like confronting her parents or giving false reasons to anyone. All she wanted, was to show the tickets to her sister already. She loved to brag and couldn't help but grin at the thought of her sister's reaction.

"Okay, can you please tell me where the Hell you've been?" her Dad questioned once flinging the door open.

"I see you've been waiting for me. Probably spying in front of the window, weren't you?"

"What I was doing doesn't matter. However, what you were doing does, young lady."

"I love when you call me a lady. Makes me feel important. Step aside, will ya, Rick?" she said and tried to make her way past him.

"Just answer the damn question already; where have you been?!"

"I was just hanging around. Didn't really feel like coming here so early. Jeeze," she shot out and rolled her eyes.

"Get in here," he said and tugged her inside by the arm.

"Gosh, not so hard. What's your problem?" she said and shrugged.

"My problem is that you always do this! You think yo ucan do anything you want and never explain anything to anyone. Well not in my house. Your Mother's been worried sick, thinking something bad could have happened to you. We called the school; you didn't show up there, either. Plus you smell like smoke. Gosh, Jenna, what is the matter with you?" he said in disbelief.

"Look, leave me the Hell alone already. I'm gonna go upstairs. Talk to me when you're not being such an annoying prick," she said and made her way towards the stairs.

"And you stay in your damn room until you stop being such an inconsiderate, irresponsible brat!" he called out from below her.

"Mhmm."

She walked near her Mom's bedroom and listened to see if she was inside.

"Uh, Mom? Just want to let you know I'm home and alright, okay? Sorry for worrying you... again," she trailed off and walked over to her own room.

She couldn't stand her Dad, yet she loved her Mom to death. Every time she disappointed her, she would end up hating herself for it. She would always tell herself over and over again that she would do everything not to disillusion her Mother. But somehow, she kept doing the exact opposite of what she would tell herself. She sat on her bed and stared at the tickets with a wide grin. Sure, she was self-centered, but seeing Placebo live was something she felt she just had to do. She reached for her lighter while simultaneously rolling a tight joint. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she kept staring at the tickets. Her door suddenly flung open and her light was turned on.

"Jenna, quit smoking. You wanna kill Mom? And what the Hell do you have in your hands that you keep staring at like an idiot?" Josie asked as she peered her head through the opening.

"We are seeing Placebo," was all Jenna could utter.

TO BE CONTINUED.  :D

Okay, so I'm back. I know it's been some months since I've last posted anything.

But yeah, this is a new story in the works. Give it a read. I hope you all like it. I'd appreciate some nice, detailed feedback. To those who decide to read it, thanks so much.

If you read and liked Adalia, chances are you'll like this.

Thanxxx.

xxx

Ok so i decided that i was going to make  a music review blog once in awile.. some of the records might be really old but i still have an opinion on them. so my first blog one of my favorite bands aiden with their cd nightmare anatomy..

The Playlist

x.Knife Blood Nightmare

x.Die Romantic

x.Genetic Design For Dying

x.Breathless

x.Unbreakable (I.J.M.A.)

x.It's Cold Tonight

x.Enjoy the View

x.Goodbye We're Falling Fast

x.This City Is Far From Here

x.See You in Hell

Genetic design for dying

Dear mother I am lost and the damage has been done.
I'm in love with my old century fix and this needle can't be wrong,
but I wonder?
Where do we go from here because we're never coming home?
The sequel to this nightmare lasts forever, forever.


One last goodnight, with this painted picture in our minds the voice inside that sings tonight.
One last goodnight, with this painted picture in our minds the voice inside that sings tonight.
I'm not scared at all, so let's walk away.
I'm not scared at all, so now walk away.

Dear mother now beyond the grave you're the soul that wants me.
Front row with a cigarette, you're the ghost that haunts me,
but I wonder?
I'm too fucked up to come home,
I swear this heart was made of stone,
I won't pretend that everything's alright when it's not.


so One last goodnight, with this painted picture in our minds the voice inside that sings tonight.
One last goodnight, with this painted picture in our minds the voice inside that sings tonight.
I'm not scared at all, so let's walk away.
I'm not scared at all, so now walk away.

Wake me now drive faster, make me now a disaster,
take me now live after and walk away.2x


Can you design living through hell and back again?
It's the life that's killing you walk away friend.
Can you design living through hell and back again?
It's the life that's killing you walk away WALK AWAY!!!


soOne last goodnight, with this painted picture in our minds the voice inside that sings tonight.
One last goodnight, with this painted picture in our minds the voice inside that sings tonight.

This cd is amazing its probably my second favorite record aiden put out. I recomend it for anyone even if you havent listened to aiden before. My favorite song from this record is probably genetic design for dying. by the way if anyone even reads this you can leave me some requests to do reviews on ok thank you.

-xxchristinaxx

Chapter 16:

      You Are My Sunshine...

        I find my mom and I are growing farther and farther apart. I mean, I know we weren't all that close to begin with. After the one night stand I had at that party Adam brought my to, I've never been the same. i've been avoiding mirrors, avoiding people, and am trying so hard to erase any and every incident that has happened, good or bad, within the few months that have passed.

 In the kitchen...

       My mom is on the phone, as always. I don't bother looking her in the eye, saying 'Good Morning', or anything, I just walk by. Walk by and head for the fridge. My mom removes the phone from her ear and plaecs her right hand mouth piece. "William, honey, please, please, please don't do anything to worry me---". "Mom", I cut her off, "please, please, please STOP worrying." She stared at me long and hard, "fine", she sighed, "but be careful." By then I was heading out the kitchen and out the front door. I didn't really have anywhere to go.      

       While walking around the corner, I stuck my hands in my pocket and felt what seemed to be paper cruppled at the bottom. I pulled it out and unfolded it. It was the number I had written down from my dad's work. I pull out my cellphone and dialthe number. It begins to ring.

Hello?

"Um, can I speak with David please?"

And which David would that be?

"Oh, sorry, um David Philson, please."

One moment please....

...Hello?

"Dave, it's me."

Oh, hello wiL.

"Can I come and see you?"

You mean, at my job?

"Duh."

That'll be fine, yes.

"Thanks, bye."

See you then.

 Minutes later...

         I enter the building and go up to the 12th floor. I walk up to the front desk. The lady was a little on the heavy side, she was filing her long, red-painted finger nails. "Excuse me, I'm here to meet with David...Philson." She looks me up and down and then down at the clipboard in front of her. "I'm sorry, you're name isn't anywhere on here. Please have a set over there, sir." She points over to the several chairs lined up against the wall by the door. I didn't have time to sit and wait. "Look, I need to see him!", I said, bagging my fist against the desk.

"Well, you can wait." She started an attitude.

I was losing this fight, so I jus thad to say it. "I'm his son." It sickend me.

"Oh. He said something about his son coming to visit. Please, go ahead in." That worked out just fine. Even though loath saying those three words, they help in many situation. You can just say that I like to take advantage of the whole "David being my father" situation.

In the office:

      I knocked twice and heard no answer so I let myself in. I walk in and saw David lying on the lounge couch with headphones on. I walk up to him and tap his shoulder. He jumped, took off the headphones and turned around. "Oh, I thought you wouldn't be here until an hour later." No "Hi wiL" or "Hey, I wasn't expecting you." Nothing of the sort. "Hello to you too, David.", I said and for some reason I felt like a complete idiot.

"Please", he got up off the lounge chair, "have a seat."

I sat down and sighed. "So, what is it that you what to tell me?", he asked.

"Well, I'm not feeling like myself lately. I feel...different." My eyes shifted to the corner of the room by the bookshelf. Why can't I ever look him in the eye? I must be intimidated by him.

He cocked his head to the side, "In what way? Please, explain."

"I don't know. I guess after what happened I feel all paranoid and shit." I was rubbing the palms of my hands against the legs of my Jeans to wipe the sweat away. I kept getting nervous due to each question David asked me. He took a dep breathe...exhaled and placed his hand on his forhead, as if he had a headache or something. He stared me dead straight in the eyes. I had to look away. "wiL, look at me." I could feel his eyes burning through me like fire. "Look at me!" I jumped and turned to him, staring in his eyes.

"wiL", he said, "if you keep letting this haunt youfor the rest of your life then you will NEVER feelthe same, of course." He had a point, but I didn't really quite get where he was going with this conversation, more like therapy session.

I sighed, took a minute to gather my thoughts, "So what are you saying? Turn myself in?" God, I could only imagine what my momwould think or sayif she found out I stabbed my ex-girlfriend to death. "David, you can't be fucking serious. Look, I can't do that."

"And why not?" He looked at me over the frame of his glasses.

I had to say it, the truth, "It would KILL my mother if she found out! Please, I'm not asking for you to tell me to turn myself in, I'm asking for your help. Fuck, David, just tell me how to fix this!" I felt it again, that pain in my chest just kept tightening and twisting. I felt like I was going to break down.

   David took off his glasses. I had a feeling that what he was going to say wasn't what I wanted tohear him say, "You really want to fix this?" I nodded my head, I was too overwhelmed to speak. "Well, the best choice; Turn Youself In."

Aiden performing on the final day of Warped Tour 2009 at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California, USA.

Photographs © 2009 MiseryXchord

All Rights Reserved. No reproduction or duplication permitted, DO NOT REPOST THEM.

My tour with peta2 has come to an end and it was amazing. Check out the photos below to see some of the places I went to as well as a list of restaurants I ate/drank at to see exactly where I’ve been this summer. I was able to do college outreach, festival outreach, Warped Tour, and a brief week on the Rise Against/Rancid/Billy Talent Tour! I met a lot of amazing people and was able to do a lot of amazing things (got my breasts cast for the Keep A Breast foundation, drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, went to Canada, and of course educated a bunch of kids on animal rights, just to name a few), it was an experience of a lifetime. 

I found this on PETA's twitter... I look weird... This is some stop on Warped Tour.
 

On the tour bus one day trying to help Joey & his blisters... Warped Tour


Our Tour Bus for Warped Tour

 

Warped Tour
 

Credentials



Crossing the border from New York to Toronto, ONT for the Rise Against/Rancid/Billy Talent tour


Boston, MA Rise Against/Rancid/Billy Talent tour

 

Times Square; New York Rise Against/Rancid/Billy Talent tour




Montreal, Canada Warped Tour




30H!3 in the rain. Warped Tour Montreal


PA Warped Tour


Indianapolis, IN Warped Tour

Chasing off paparazzi... Indianapolis, Warped Tour


Rock Quarry Warped Tour



Graceland Warped Tour














San Antonio, Texas Warped Tour

Jet Lag Gemini Warped Tour San Antonio
 

Phoenix Warped Tour

Aiden Phoenix Warped Tour

 

Warped Tour; San Francisco, CA

Gallows Warped Tour San Francisco


Warped Tour; Pomona, CA


Keep A Breast cast Warped Tour Pomona, CA
 

California



Mall Outreach California
 

San Francisco, CA
Visiting Kate at some random bar
 

 

Eco Cup/Harmony Fest, Santa Rosa, CA

Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, CA

 

Redwoods, California



 



















Lake Tahoe, CA
 
 
 






Reno, NV

McCruelty Demo, Norfolk, VA

At Soundset getting signatures and getting burnt; Minneapolis, MN

Vegan food, Minneapolis, MN
 

Mall of America, Minneapolis, MN


Outreach at Portland Waterfront
    

peta2 Tent at Portland Action Sports Expo

peta2 Van


Waterfall, Portland, OR
     

PETA/Norfolk, VA
   

List of everywhere I ate on tour minus the receipts I lost and the repeats… 
Aramark- Dallas, TX
Aramark- Rochester, NY
Bella Pizzeria- Norfolk, VA
Burger King- Baltimore, MD
Chaos Cafe- Portland, OR
Caribou Coffee
Coriander Gourmet Thai- San Francisco, CA
Del Taco- Fairfield, CA
Denny’s- Kingdom City, MO
Denny’s- Fredricksburg, VA
Etiquette Lounge- san Francisco, CA
Freshens- Bloomington, MN
Govindas- Philadelphia, PA
Granby Bistro Deli- Norfolk, VA
Great American Bagel- Norfolk, VA
Herbivore- Berkeley, CA 
Herbivore- San Francisco, CA
Jamba Juice- New York, NY
Jamba Juice- San Francisco, CA
KFC- Beamsville, ONT
Kotobuki Japanease- Norfolk, VA
La Salsa- CA
Max & Erma’s- Detroit, MI
Max & Erma's- Nofolk, VA
My Thai Vegan Cafe- Boston, MA
New Life Natural Foods- Myrtle Beach, SC
Old Pueblo Cafe- Litchfield Park, AZ
Panera Bread- Cherry Hill, NJ
Panera Bread- East York, PA
Panera Bread- Hayward, CA
Panera Bread- Perrysburg, OH
Papa Johns- Sunnyside, NY
Paradox Cafe- Portland, OR
Pasta Moto- San Francisco, CA
Pei Wei Asian Dinner- Chino Hills, CA
Pepinos- Portland, OR
Phoenicia Cuisine- Toledo, OH
Piccolo Italia Pizza- San Francisco, CA
Pick Me Up- Chicago, IL
Pinole Vista Liquor- Pinole, CA
Pizza Luce- Norfolk, VA
Planet Hollywood- New York City- NY
Plaza Bar and Grille- Bloomington, MN
Rama Garden Thai Cuisine- Norfolk, VA
Red Bamboo- New York, NY
Red Dog Saloon- Norfolk, VA
Ristorante Due Rose- Pinole, CA
Sages Cafe- Salt Lake, UT
Sammy T's- Baltimore, MD
Seed- Santa Rosa, CA
Someday Lounge/Backspace- Portland, OR
Starbucks- Bellingham, MA
Starbucks- Eden Prairie- MN
Starbucks- Fairfield, CA
Starbucks- Norfolk, VA
Starbucks- Quakertown, PA
Subway- Glendive, MT
Subway- Winnemucca, NY
Sunflower- Vienna, VA
Taco Bell- Pinole, CA
Taco Bell- Pomona, CA
Taco Bell- Oakland, CA
TADA Catering- Every day on Warped Tour
Taphouse Grill- Norfolk, VA
The King & I- Rochester, NY
The Westin- Litnthicum, MD
Thompsons- Fairfield, CA
Tip Thai - Hayward, CA
Triple Rock Social Club- Minneapolis, MN
Uncle Chungs Szechua- Pinole, CA
Vegetarian House- Portland, OR
Veggie Bites- Chicago, IL
Watercourse Foods- Denver, CO
Web of Life- Westlake, OH
Wendy’s- Brantford, ONT
Yorgos- Norfolk, VA

But apparently some people are.

One of my pet peeves?

when other people, interfere with other people's personal lives, in this case the personal lives of Aiden's band members wiL Francis, Angel Ibarra, Nick Wiggins, and Jake Davision.

I co-own a new site for Aiden and William Control fans called DeathClub™.

I logged in today and find a comment from a girl asking "Is Aiden going to break up?"

And she wouldn't quit asking.

Let's just stop and think.

IF THEY WERE GOING TO BREAK UP, WOULDN'T THEY HAVE POSTED A BLOG, OR BULLETIN ABOUT IT

INDICATING THEY WERE GOING TO?

So I log off, and go to my personal account, a few minutes later I get a comment from the owner of the site

saying "did you know there are rumors going around that Aiden's going to break up?"

which really pissed me off. because like I said, wouldn't they have posted some sort of information saying they were?

In other words, maybe you should stop interfering with their personal lives.

You don't know what's going on.

I'm not saying I do either.

It just pisses me off when people just claim and assume these things.

Maybe if the band wanted you to know, they would've told you.

>_<

Hey Guys!

It's me, Haleigh.

And I just thought I'd let all you William Control/Aiden Fans

about this new site on myspace called DeathClub™

It's a brand new site, that just opened two days ago.

And I'm the co-owner. ^-^

It'd be really great if you added us!

and tell all your friends about it, too.

We're defiantly going to try and make this a very fxxking amazing

site for all of you.

myspace.com/deathclub666

see you guys there.

xo

So yesterday was an amazing day! I drove  3  4 hours to Denver...not so fun. Damn tourists going slow!

 I finally got there! I went with my lil sis! It was so exciting!

We saw We The Kings first then wandered for a bit. Some guy was puking eeeww! Then we went to go see Aiden! It was sweet! It was a crazy set lol the lead singer, Will wanted us to set a record for most crowd surfers, no crowd surfin for me! Oh and some guy was running through the crowd trying to leave and puked on the girl next to us in the process... =[ poor girl! We got pics and autographs from Aiden! Omg so while we were standing in line waiting these 3 random guys walked up to us and were all "Do you lovely ladies have any spare pocket change? We're from the UK and we're collecting change as souveniers for when we go back." So I gave them like a huge handful lol. It was so funny lol they kept thanking us and they had a change jar that they put it in and then we got hugs from all 3 of them! It was cool lol.

Then more wandering and food lol.

Then Eyes Set To Kill! They werent even supposed to be there but they were! I was so excited! They were amazing! Some girl fell on her head crowd surfing and was knocked out. They played Darling and dedicated it to her. Omg I met the most amazing girl! She was standing next to us and we totally randomly started talking! Then we ran to ESTK tent to get pics and autographs! So we were standin there and I mentioned that I wish we could find that girl again and she randomly pops up! She was walking past and we invited her to stand in line with us! Her name is Killian and the band signed her drumstick and put "Killian Rocks!" and we traded cameras to take pics for eachother lol.

We stayed with her and her friend the rest the time and we all went on the slip and slide!!! In our clothes!!! Haha We were soaked but it was nice cuz it was so hot! So we found her friend Abbey finally lol.

We all went to Escape The Fate! It was crazzy! Random mosh pits kept breaking out and i totally met anotha girl by bumping into her haha. Some guy fell in the mosh pit and busted his lip open kinda eeww lol. So at the end We had to all hold hands and make a chain to get through the crowd without losing eachother!

So I had to go home early =[ ...lame but I didnt wanna drive in the dark. We all exchanged numbers though!

So as I was walking out I totally heard Breathe Carolina! To bad I didnt get to stand there and watch them and be a part of the crowd =[ and I didnt get to see 3OH!3 =[ hopefully next year though!

Thats about it haha. It was so much fun and amazzzing!!!

Peace!

Mi§§ Ariella JuggaLette™©

Chapter 15:

   The morning after...  

      Is this my bed? What happened last night? Am I still even alive? All the questions of a hangover. The smell of sex fills the air. I pull back the cover from over me and realize, I'm completely naked! I turn to my right and a complete stranger is lying next to me. Now I really want to know what the fuck happened last night? I look around and this is NOT my house. A knock, more like a pound echoes upon the other side of the bedroom door. Shit. I quickly climb out of the bed and pull on my clothes. As I put on my shirt I open the door. "Excuse me, is Stella in there?", some girl at the door ask me. First thing I notice about her are those icy green eyes. "I'm sorry?", I'm really confused now.

"You're the guy she hooked up with, right?", she smiles.

I look over at the girl lying in the grimey bed sheets, "what does she look like?"

"Well she's got black hair and wears lots of black lipstick." She point to the side of my lip and giggles. "And I'm 100% sure she's in there." I wipe the side of my upper lip with my index finger and see a balck smudge. I look down at my hand and back up to the girl. I walk out the room and shut the door. Then I ask, "what happened last night?" She rolls her eyes, like, 'Oh great, here we go again.' "Well if you really were that wasted", the girl clears her throat like she was getting ready to present her Valivictorian speech at graduation or something, "last night you were totally trashed and horny, if I might add.Your friend, Adam, fled and so you were, like, stuck here. You found Stella and took her upstairs. The End." What a bitch. Not to be rude but, jeez. "Thanks?" 

"Yeah, whatever, can you just wake her up, please?"

"Could you be any more of a bitch?", I said under my breathe, loud enough only for me to actually hear. I guess she heard me because she answered, "no."

There's no point in arguing. I walk back into the bedroom, towards the bed and seem to have stepped on something sharp. "Crap!" A needle? Was last night really that bad? I rush over to Stella and shake her out of her slumber. "What the fuck? Shit! Stop!" She looks a mess, a sad site to see. "Who the fuck--". She looks up at me, suprised almost. 

"Um, Stella?"

"Yeah?"

   "Your friends waiting outside for you." She looks down at her watch. "Crap! I'm late!!!" She leaps out of bed and throws on her clothes and leaves. I didn't even bother to ask about the needle, I just need to get the hell out of here. I grad my cell out my coat pocket and call up Adam. I dial his number and wait for him to pick up. "Hello?", he answers.

"What the hell, man?"

He yawns for a long second and eventually answers my question. "Oh, man, I'm so, so sorry. I forgot and I left, but, you know I was pretty wasted."

"Can you just come and get me, now!"

"Alright, I'm on my way."

The ride home...

   "What the fuck Adam?!", I asked, pissed off if I might add. Here's to show you can't trust just anybody to be your ride home. "You know what", I said, "nevermind. I may not be happy with your answer." We drove and drove and drove....

...'Welcome to Seattle'. We reached my house and I climbed out the car and shut the passenger door. "Yeah, wiL, I'm sorry, man.", Adam apologized. "Yeah, well, you wont have to worry about ditching me again, kay?", I answered through the passenger window. He drove off and I walked up to the front door of my house.

      Before I could even get my key into the keyhole, the door swung open. Oh God, no. "William Roy Francis, where have you been?!" My mom was yelling at me for the first time and I had nothing. No comeback, smart comment...NOTHING. "I'm waiting", she said, folding her arms across her chest. "Mom...I'm sorry", I said and walked upstairs. She didn't stop me or call out my name(typical).

        In the Bedroom...

            My phone rings. "Hello?", I answer. "David?" I don't know how he got this number and I want to find out. "How'd you get this number?" He tells me my mom. He tells me he can help me, he wants me to meet him to take. Then he's giving his address. I write it down and hang up. I might as well visit, get him off my back. I walk into my bathroom and rise off my tired face. My hands were shaking from lack of sleep and my body was weak from last nights sex scandal. I've never felt more shitty then the last time I saw Julia....

...flashbacks came rushing through  my mind,  causing me to fell sick to me stomach. Why did I fall for her in the first place? Why did I panic while she was in the hospital? I don't have answers to these questions, they just happened. Why did she have to die so young? I don't know. I should know...I'm the one who killed her.