"Didn't I tell you I hate cashews?"
"Yes," I said boredly, not looking up from the reciept I had been given by a disgruntled cashier twenty minutes earlier. "There's other stuff in that trail mix you'll ea-- DAMN BASTARDS OVERCHARGED ME!"
"But the cashews touched everythiiiing!" Gerard whined, not caring about the blatant scandal concerning my wallet and its unfair lack of contents. "Mikey, tell me you got something else!"
"Gerard, why must you whine like a three year old?" I sighed, tossing the traitorous slip of paper onto the table. "Are you on your period or something?" Gerard just glared at me and continued to rummage through the plastic bags from the supermarket, hoping to find something fruity that didn't involve cashews. He hoped in vain. All I'd bought was cereal, sugar, a new tube of toothpaste, and milk. And trail mix, assuming it would be a nice surprise. Bad Mikey Way, assuming such nonsense!
"I am displeased," Gerard said, raising an eyebrow. His nose twitched like it always did when he was aggravated, and I had to hold back a laugh. He looked kind of cute, all pissy like that...
"I see," I said solemnly. "What would you like me to do about that?"
"Get me something to eat that has no cashews," Gerard pouted, crossing his arms over his chest like a child.
"Other than that."
"That's what I want!"
"Stop it," I said shortly, turning and going into the living room. I heard him come after me, and I soon found myself underneath him on the couch.
"I won't leave you alone until I get my trail mix, sans nuts," he said in a sing-song voice.
"I didn't think you had a problem with nuts," I said smartly.
"You're about to have a problem with yours," Gerard said dangerously, twitching his knee threateningly. My eyes widened and I shook my head. Gerard smirked and just looked at me, twirling my hair around his fingers. For such a brat, he sure knew how to make me all squishy inside.
"Can you forget about the damn trail mix?" I asked hopefully, raising my eyebrows.
"Maaaybe," Gerard said softly, putting his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back. "If you do me a favor, maybe."
"What?" I asked slowly, dreading the answer.
"...Nevermind," he sighed, nuzzling closer to me. "I'll just drop it."
"No, what do you want?" I asked, tilting his head up. He scrunched up his face and shook his head.
"Don't worry about it."
"I hate when you do this," I groaned. "Just tell me what the problem is."
"What are we?" he finally blurted out, looking at his ragged fingernails with deep interest.
"Humans?" I suggested, totally lost. He glared at me. "Uhm... homosexuals?" More glaring. "Cross dressers?!"
"THAT WAS ONLY ONE TIME!" Gerard said, outraged. "AND I LIKED THE SKIR-- that's besides the point, asshole."
"Well you're not helping me any!"
"Mikey, you know we've gone beyond brotherly feelings," Gerard said uncomfortably. "It's obvious. So what ARE we?"
"Two people who happen to love each other very much," I said quietly after a long pause, gently petting Gerard's soft hair. He'd dyed it brown the day before, and it still had that post-color fluffiness that I liked so much. He was very quiet, taking in my answer.
"That sounds good to me," he murmered, pulling himself up to kiss my cheek. "Now I will definitely leave you alone about the stupid trail mix."
"Praise Jesus," I mumbled, kissing Gerard on the top of his head.
"But really, no more cashews," Gerard mewed innocently. "Read packaging, Mikey."
"Hey, Mikey?" I turned to the door of my bedroom to see Gerard standing there in his pajamas, absently dragging a comb through his hair.
"Yes?" I said, picking through my laundry, still in the basket, looking for a comfortable T-shirt.
"Since, you know, we're basically a couple?" he said, stopping to see a reaction. I nodded, raising my eyes to him. "Can I sleep in your bed with you?"
"No, I might catch cooties," I teased, finally finding a shirt.
"I got my cootie shot in the third grade," Gerard said, sauntering in and plopping down on my waterbed.
"That long ago?!" I said in feigned shock. "Good lord, old man. You need to get it again!"
"Well there are no cootie hospitals open right now," Gerard said, watching me as I changed into my PJs.
"Luckily," I said, pulling my shirt over my head, "I am a registered Cootie Prevention Agent, from the CPA, and I can give you a cootie shot."
"Really?" Gerard giggled, pulling me down beside him.
"Really really," I said, nodding. "Give me your hand." Gerard did. "Ahem. Circle circle, dot dot, now you have the cootie shot. Circle circle, square square, now you have it everywhere." I saw a blush appear on Gerard's cheeks as my finger formed shapes on the top of his hand. When I finished the playground rhyme, I brought his hand to my lips and gently kissed it, causing him to giggle again. "You're such a girl."
"You know you like it," Gerard said, his laughter subsiding. He looked down at our still attached hands and smiled before leaning in and giving me a shy kiss on the lips, something we'd both definitely wanted to do, but never did before. When he pulled away, I snickered.
"I'm officially back in kindergarten."
"And guess what?"
"I didn't like cashews then, either."