So this idea came me in class... pedagogy class ^^ dunno why but it's probably the biggest shit you've ever read.
I never thought this would ever happen. I had always thought I would get a perfect loving husband and with him I will get at least two kids. But that where just dreams. And reality was different. I lost everything I loved and now they were going to take the most important thing in my life away, the one I loved the most.
He had his arms around my waist and I hugged him tightly, not caring that they were watching. If they would take him away they at least have to let me say goodbye.
We walked to the couch, sat next to each other and I pulled him as close as I could, tears running down slightly my face. Why on earth had they take him away from me? Why can’t they just accept it that he’s the most important thing in my life, that I love him and never ever could forget about him.
“I love you.” I whispered as we pulled away slightly.
“I love you too.” His voice answered, something I would miss, whenever I was sad that he would whisper smoothing things in my ear. “I’ll visit you.” He promised me and I smiled, a fake smile, he could tell.
“I’ll try to visit you too.”I answered shakily, I didn’t even know if I could survive without him, he was like air, a drug.
“Don’t be sad.” He pouted as a few tears run down again.
“I won’t.” I promised, or should I say lied?
They cleared their throat, signaling us that he had to leave, but I just glared at them.
“Promise me that you will be okay.” I whispered, hugging him again.
“I love you, baby, I always have, and always will.” I breathed and kissed him.
“I love you too.” He smiled.
“never forget that.” I whispered cracking.
“I won’t.” he smiled.
“It’s time.” They announced.
“Be good.” I swallowed
“I will.” He said with a half smile, the sadness showed in his eyes before he walked over to them and turned his back to me. I couldn’t bear it and the tears I tried to hold so badly welled up and started streaming down uncontrollable and I didn’t took anything to stop them.
“Hayles, don’t make it harder for him.” Josh said and I just gaped at him.
“Oh now it’s my fault or what? Because of WHO is this happening now, huh?” I glared at him.
“Josh, SHUT THE FUCK UP.” I yelled. “First of all, I’m not Hayles anymore. and second why do you care? Why do you care now?”
“Hayley, I’ve always ca-“
“You’ve always cared? Then I should tell you what, if you would’ve cared why am I now so fucking depressed, huh? Okay I’ll tell you. BECAUSE OF YOU. I’ve lost everything in my life now. At first I lost the love of my life, yes that was you, you broke up and left me alone while I was pregnant. So you told that FBR and Paramore split, I love music and again it was taken away from me. We four have troubles to live normally. And now you take Lenny away. Lenny, MY son.”
“He’s our son.” Josh protested.
“No.” I laughed dryly. “He’s not your son, you may are his biological father, but don’t you dare to say you are his father. You left him, you know that? You left the day as you broke up with me and now you just walk into his life and take him away from me. HECK he don’t even know you, and don’t blame ME for that, you were the one who said he doesn’t want to meet his son as I gave you your chance. But I guess you just love ruining my life don’t you?”
“Hayley why shoul-“
“why? Well let’s count this down, you left me, not forget to mention pregnant. Then you split Paramore, broke not just me but also Jeremy, Taylor and Zac, your own brother, with that. Then you invited me to announce you’re engaged, not to forget that you even wanted me to sing at your wedding. You handled it like nothing had happened. But you know what? It broke my heart as you announce you’re getting married, and you just HAD to shove that in my face, hadn’t you? Just like you do now, you’re taking Lenny away from me just to show me that you’ve a better life. That you have moved on, a good job, a wife and a house.”
“Hayley , the court had decided this because they think Lenny would had a better chance with me.”
“Yeah, I KNOW THAT. I was there.” I snapped. “But YOU decided you wanted him and HAD to go to the court, that leads us to you, it’s your fault. And I know that I gave Lenny a lot to the guys and their girlfriends and you know why? Because I worked, worked so I could at least give him a life, that he at least could have something, that we could live, you understand that? I actually cared and did that just for him, not everyone of us got a job at FBR and is well paid.” I snapped.
“Hayley, I didn’t kn-“
“Yeah you didn’t knew that’s what everyone always said. You know what forget it…” I sighed sitting down at the couch.
“You can always visit him…” Josh said quietly.
“yeah… but no thanks, I don’t want to disturb your perfect life. So…” I got up and took the things I had prepared. “It would be nice if you could give him this when the time is right and this too.” I handed him a DVD and my lyric book.
“And when is the time right?” Josh asked.
“You’ll know it, maybe you should read some newspapers and watch the news.” And with that I closed my front door, letting everything behind and ready to face the truth.
That I had lost everything, and it would only get worse if I would live any longer.
sorry you had to read this...