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isayweriott: 04/16/2008 11:57 AM
alright my last one was kind of long. im going to try and make this one shorter.
(to those of you who read this, thanks it means a lot.)
first - this guy. its the same guy from my last post, if you've read it. so my best friend told me recently that he gives me these looks. like...intense looks. like he wants to really really get to know me. i've avoided having eye contact with him because im afraid of what might happen. today at a fire drill my friend told me that he looked me up and down and then smiled. if he wants to get to know me so much then why doesnt he talk to me? he has a girlfriend but that doesnt mean hes not allowed to talk to girls.
second - i just helped my friend get her first boyfriend. shes happy, hes happy, blah blah blah. but neither of them are grateful. i dont expect a thank you from him, because hes like that, but from her?! she knows that i helped them together but shes never said thank you. it really hurts. but i also feel like i'm being replaced by him. whenever i want to talk to her about something, i feel like i get blown off. its like "yeah um, i just totally slit my throat and im bleeding on the bathroom floor." "thats cool...HEY did i tell you about what alex said?!" i get that shes excited about her first boyfriend, but that doesnt give her the right to totally forget about me ESPECIALLY since i set her up with him.
third - this one is simple. i started cutting again because im worried about basically everything. hence my title : im freaking out. theres only so much more of all this i can take. i am seriously considering suicide.
help would be nice, thanks.
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pompasaurus: 04/17/2008 2:37 PM The things you're going through are an intricate part of growing up. Why don't you approach the guy? If you want him to talk to you, start up a conversation. Have you told your friend what she's doing is bothering you? Unless you let people know how you feel, things will stay the same. People aren't mind readers and chances are they have no idea they're upsetting you.
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len0re: 04/18/2008 8:14 PM if he gives those signs then I agree that you should start talking to him. and you don't have to feel as if you need to be thanked, even if you are. that's just not going to happen. and she is just going through something normal don't need to make a big deal about it.
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rlmheartsfob: 04/22/2008 4:00 PM Oy Vey.
No cutting...I think it was you I told to do musical therapy. It really does work.
But you know...If you want to talk to that guy...just go say hi. Nothing wrong with that! I'd be scared like a little b-word...but I'd go talk to him.lol
And your friend...If it were me I'd be spazzing over my first boyfriend too! She should hopefully come say thanks soon, but if you want to ask her to say thanks or anything like that, tell her nicely.
And please, please, PLEASE don't think about suicide. Go call the teen suicide hotline if you want to talk about it. Suicide is NEVER the answer. LIke ronarulz said above, "Suicide isn't painless when you leave everyone else in pain." Go find a therapist or someone you can trust to talk about this.
"Suicide isn't painless when you leave everyone else in pain."
Just think of that. Be thankful that God(or who ever you believe in) that your on earth and you have the opportunity to live an amazing life. You have to make the best of it.
Suicide is not the way to ever end that chance.Never.
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len0re: 04/22/2008 6:53 PM "suicide isn't painless when you leave everyone else in pain" I like that quote, I'll write it on my note book.
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rlmheartsfob: 04/23/2008 6:18 PM Me too. "suicide isn't painless when you leave everyone else in pain" I like that quote, I'll write it on my note book.
Me too. =D |
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thetherapist: 04/25/2008 9:50 PM I know how you feel, I know that sometimes helping everyone else with their problems can be overwhelming. I started smoking again because I became everyone elses personal therapist. We all have our vices, and since I used to cut I'm not at liberty to lecture you about it. Just remember, no matter how tough life gets, you should keep on living it. I stopped smoking by starting talking, anonomysly, on my blog "TheTherapist Speaks" which is on blogger (url is therapiststherapysession.blogspot.com if you ever want to drop by and read, or leave a comment or talk or whatever) I'm always here to listen, and if you ever consider suicide, remember that even the people who've never met you would miss you if you were gone, not to mention your friends (however ungrateful they may seem at the moment). if you ever need to talk, you can email me at shadow_dweller1@msn.com --- and that goes for anyone.
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len0re: 04/26/2008 11:24 AM therapist is right, there's nothing better than talking when you have a problem like this.
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