When I first started typing this title, my fingers moved faster than the rest of my brain did (frequent occurrence) and aptly dubbed Johnny Weir as Johnny Weird. I probably should have just left it at that, but that's no fun. My self-awarded BA in Googling discovered that Johnny here is a professional figure skater... which explains so, so much.

Let's start from the top and move down, shall we? From the neck up, this is totally fine, even with the silver shell embellishment. Then we start moving down. I could deal with the fancy chiffon bib, I really could. Sometimes those crumbs just evade you and you wouldn't want anything to stain your pants, now would you? -- WAIT... wait... He's not wearing any pants. Instead, he has opted for what I am assuming is a pair of formal shorts, except they're all shimmery and poochy and speedo short and I'm not entirely sure what they're doing on a red carpet event.

While this isn't so terrible that I broke my neck headdesking, it is a gratuitous amount of WEIRD and I can't wrap my head around it. What is this? Maybe you can help me since I'm clearly unfit for coherent thought.

What do you think of these formal shorts? Hot or not?