So many emotions ran through me. Anger, hate, sadness. Those were just some of the feelings I felt when I woke up the morning after Hayley talked to me over the phone.
Why did she have to do that? Why couldn’t she have just come back to Franklin? I loved her, and she swore she didn’t love me anymore. I knew I needed to prove her wrong, but I was broken. Defeated. I felt like I could barely move.
I wished we’d never have come to Seattle. Even if I had wanted to reconnect with Hayley, I didn’t want it to be like that. Maybe if I hadn’t come here, I could have eventually moved on. Then, I remembered All Time Low. Even me trying to not see her wouldn’t have worked. All Time Low recently got signed on. Hayley and I would have met again anyway.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I call her? Should I apologize? What was I supposed to do? I knew I shouldn’t call her. This conversation would have to be done in person. I knew that much.
I had to remind Hayley that we were together once, and that I wasn’t going to loose her. I wasn’t letting her go. She’d made me promise her that, and I was just following through on that promise.
I knew Hayley still loved me, but she was fighting it. That fact didn’t make it any easier, though. Her words last night still stung.
I laid back down on my bunk. I decided that sometime after the tour, I’d go back to Seattle and talk to Hayley, whether she wanted me to or not.
The day passed slowly until I had to get ready for another concert. Before I sound checked, I took a deep breath and decided not to think about Hayley during the concert.
I sat down at the table with Alex and Nate. We all were waiting for our friends to arrive, and I was pretty impatient. Finally, Katy and Tori arrived, then Jack, then Rian, then Zack. Soon, all of our other friends were here, too.
We all began to order drinks and everything, though I didn’t order any alcohol, like most of the other people did. I ordered a soda, since it wasn’t good for the baby if you drink any alcoholic beverage during pregnancy. I’d already talked to Dr. Hong about it earlier this morning.
Tori looked at me suspiciously when the waiter set down my glass of Coke in front of me. At a seafood restaurant, it was common to order wine with your meal.
She knew that. When she looked at me again, surprise was written on her features. Tori had figured it out. “Oh god, Hayles…” she said as she shook her head and looked over the menu.
I laughed it off, and some of our guests looked at me, trying to figure out why they were brought here. It only made me want to laugh more.
When we all ordered our food, I was going insane trying to keep calm and collected. I was too excited, but I knew we had to wait. Alex and I often shared secretive looks at each other.
Finally the waiter delivered the food to us. I had ordered a shrimp scampi. Alex had ordered lobster, of course. We all began to eat our delicious seafood.
At last, the moment had come. Alex looked to me, grabbed my hand, and helped me up. “So, we actually didn’t bring you here just for fun, as we’d said. We have an announcement to make.” Everyone’s eyes were to us now. “Hayley and I are getting married,” Alex said.
“Congrats, dude,” Zack said.
“There’s actually a bit more,” I said. I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant,” I finished.
Everybody looked shocked, well, except Tori. She figured it out when we ordered drinks. Instead, she smiled at me. “I hope you’re happy, Hayles,” she said.
There was a bunch of “Congratulations,” and “I’m so happy for you.”
We all sat around talking and having a good time. Tori was telling me all about her trip to L.A., and it was pretty interesting. “I saw the Hollywood sign, too. Even though I was there for training, we had loads of free time. I walked down Hollywood Boulevard. I even went to Santa Monica and rode all the rides at the pier.”
“That’s awesome. Did you drive down to Santa Barbra? I hear that’s a hotspot for shopping,” I said.
Tori nodded. “It was nice there, even if it was the winter time. Some of the things I got you were from Santa Barbra.”
“No problem, though, I should have gotten you some maternity clothes…”
“Shut up!” We both laughed, and began chatting some more.
“Hey,” Katy said as she switched seats with Alex. She wanted to come talk to me. “Congrats, Hayles! I can’t believe you’re going to be a mother,” she said as she gave me a light hug.
“I know. I don’t believe it, either.”
“You’re going to do great,” she insisted.
“I hope so. I know I do my best with Nate, but he’s almost five now. I’ve never handled an actual baby.”
“Like I said, you’ll do great,” Katy said.
“What do you think you’re child is? Boy? Girl?” Tori asked me excitedly.
“I’m not sure. A girl, I think,” I answered, while taking a bite of my dessert. I had ordered a slice of chocolate cake.
“Well, you know, mothers tend to know what they’re having. Most of the time, they’re right,” Katy said.
“That’s just coincidence,” Tori said, while shaking her head. “They don’t actually know. They have a fifty percent chance of getting it right.”
“Oh, don’t be so factual!” Katy teased.
“Alex thinks it’s a girl. Everybody seems to, at least, that I’ve talked to has,” I said, taking another bit of the delicious cake in front of me.
“We’ll just have to wait and see,” Tori said.
“I still think it’s a girl,” Katy persisted.
I just laughed and enjoyed time with my friends.
Eventually, months passed with no word from Josh. I hadn’t seen him or talked to him since that awful night when I’d told him I was pregnant and engaged. I’d picked up the phone tons of times, but never could bring myself to ever press talk. I didn’t know what to say. I had nothing to say that he’d accept. I didn’t want him to hate me, but it seemed like he did. Now that I was five months along in the pregnancy, I’d gotten some control over the hormones. I had begun to feel bad about what was said even a week after the call.
In other news, mine and Alex’s wedding was still in the planning stage. I’d picked out my dress, but we weren’t going to do any fitting until after the baby. I figured after I lost the “baby weight” I’d be around a size six in a dress. I was fine with that.
In matters of the baby, we’d had an ultrasound. It was, in fact, a girl, but with a surprise… a twin brother to match her. Alex and I nearly had a heart attack. We were prepared to support one child, but two was a whole new deal. We’d been doing alright, though, with the pregnancy. I actually slept through the night. The twins hardly kicked. Though, I had had some pretty weird cravings. Dr. Hong said it was normal. I’d been craving steak sauce plain.
Alex and I were happy, and we weren’t so terrified at being young parents anymore. We’d gotten over that. The only thing that scared us was that there were two kids instead of only one.
The person most enthusiastic about that was Nathan. He bounced around, gently pat my bloated stomach, and smiled all the time, always blabbering about how he couldn’t wait for his baby brother and sister.
That was what bugged me. He thought of them as his brother and sister. They were really his niece and nephew, but I swallowed my uncomfortable feeling. Even if he didn’t remember his mom, I always would. When he would get older, I decided I’d tell him stories about her.
For now, I let him live in his world where I was his mom, and my children were going to be his siblings.
Even in all my happiness, the thought of Josh came up now and then, and my curiosity almost made me call him. I felt terrible for the way I’d told him.
But I always told myself not to worry about that. Anyways, I had All Time Low to keep me preoccupied.
We’d made it work. I wasn’t really in the band, but Alex was. I’d backed down, but I’d always be around. I’d still sing with them at concerts. I’d still be apart of the band, only I couldn’t actually do anything relating to photo shoots and band stuff until after I could be apart of it everyday.
We decided we’d make it seem like I hadn’t been apart of the band, up until after the kids. The only people who knew that I was actually in the band were people who probably wouldn’t say anything. The whole label basically ordered me to act like a new addition in a year or two. Now, though, I had to just be on the sidelines.
Besides deciding that, All Time Low was writing their album with my help. To the media, they were just a new guy band with a lead singer who was engaged to the traffic lady, well, people in Seattle knew that. People in other states obviously didn’t know I was the lady who reported traffic on the news in Seattle.
Speaking of which, I couldn’t be on the news anymore, not until the kids were born. I was perfectly happy not having to work, but I was bored whenever Alex or Nate weren’t around.
Occasionally, my friends would visit.
Just then, a knock at the door told me I had a visitor to see. “Hold on!” I shouted. It was getting harder and harder to stand up without help, but I was managing. When I finally stood up, I walked to the door.
When I opened the door, it was the last person I expected to see.
Who do you think it is??