BUZZMOB

This is basically a freggin novel of me telling about my experience in middle school, cause I wasn’t and am not bullied in high school. Middle school counts, eh?

Meh.



High school. Bleh. Well, my high school is bleh. I don’t know about anyone else’s.

Everyone’s judged on looks. If you’re ‘ugly’ then you’re usually made fun of. If you dress differently than what is the latest trend (is that what they say, ‘trend‘? I really don‘t know), then you’re made fun of. If you act differently than others and have fascinations for things other than what’s considered normal, you’re made fun of. So really, if you’re anything different than what is the norm, you’re made fun of, or just treated differently than everyone else. Lesbian, gay, or bisexual? That’s not normal for the vast majority of the students. A lot with make fun of you
Some people might be loners and say that they go unnoticed, but everyone knows about them, and everyone talks about them (everyone being the norm zombiez. All “Me eat brain. Blegh, brain not like Girlicious. Brain bad.”).

I’m different, yes, but I learned to dress the way I want to using normal clothes, act less strange and more mature, and I have many more friends, and ones who I can trust and have a laugh with. And every now again, even if I have to make a sacrifice for keeping myself in check - like pretending to like a guy instead of his girlfriend - I don’t mind.
I’m not bullied in high school. I have standings, and my brother’s knows and is friends with just about everyone -as do I- so I don‘t need to worry as much anymore.

It was middle school that I had to deal with being bullied.

Back then I dressed to match my mood, and I never cared to dress the way people tend to. I dressed how I felt, which was horribly and in dark colours with a ridiculous amount of eyeliner. People made fun of me enough about that, and to add to it they still had a gay rumour floating around that some people (I know who, and one actually happens to be a best friend) spread when I arrived there, because in grade four my hair was incredibly short and I acted like a guy and dressed as poorly as one. I wasn’t confident at all, and basically was shy to even the youngest kids.

My bullying I had to deal with most for the first part was on the bus ride home, which was about an hour and a half long on a good day. They biffed things at me, called me things, and laughed at me. I always faked sick to get out of going to school, because I knew if I wanted to come home at school I wouldn’t be able to, since it was a ways out and my parents were too busy. It got to the point where my mother never let me stay home unless she knew for sure that I was sick, so I was then forced to go every day, which meant more and more bullying.
In elementary school, after a while, I had told my mom about it. She talked with the school, and I thought I was home free. But they just got worse, to the point where they went so far as to throw notes at me with threats written on them. I didn’t bother trying to deal with it from that point on, because the first time I tried seeking help it didn‘t work, so why would the second time have helped?

But with a couple years I grew taller, got older and bit better looking (longer hair on me makes one hell of a difference) so they backed off a little. And they backed off a little more cause I started looking like I was going to go totally Hulk on anyone and everyone. They more or so just did it behind my back. Which was okay by me. I was never actually used to it because it still hurt me a lot to know people hated me so much for just being that they had to tell and show me every time they could.

In middle school, start of grade eight I do believe, I had a really hard time with everyone because my grandmother had died, and then my father less than a year after, so I had a few issues in school besides the dressing to fit my mood, like how I kept really quiet, didn’t do anything but schoolwork, looked like I was ready to kill someone (you know those people?? Yeah.), not having a social life, and not wanting to be near anyone, even though only a few decent and civilized people wanted me near them anyways because I was a freak and not liked at all since I had arrived at the elementary school for French Immersion in grade four (the elementary was on the bottom floor and the middle school was on top. Am I confusing anyone?). But I had come to a point where I was clinically depressed, and my father had just died so when I had come  back to school (which wasn‘t even a week after cause I had to keep moving, and I couldn‘t and didn‘t want to think), everyone treated me better, in a way of pity. I actually had a true best friend after a time, and I told her everything, and it made me feel a little better to get it off my back, and gained a few more friends, so I acted more like a normal kid, and actually felt a bit better about myself.

Then one day, my best friend somehow, because of my ever so more rising friend count (I say that with sarcasm, cause I really dunno why she was jealous), became jealous and told the school the school everything and then some things she made up about me. That’s really when everything went totally downhill.

Instead of the usual talking with their friends and joking a bit, they actually came up to my face and made fun of me while everyone else laughed. I was trashed on way worse, people were actually frightened to come near me, and who I thought were really good friends had abandoned me because of the rumours and things they heard, and also because they didn’t want to be caught with the laughingstock of the school. It was bad enough kids on my bus were doing it, but everyone in the school? It wasn’t fun. At all. And I didn’t even stand up for myself.

And the most horrible feeling was when I was in the hospital, for two full weeks, and only three people had come to see me. Yeah, I had family problems - still do - so none of them showed up which didn’t hurt me that much, but all who I thought were my friends never even bothered calling to ask if I was alright, asked about me, nothing. All except two, and there was another friend who didn’t even know I was in the hospital, so I guess that made three. But at least they cared for me. No one ever reported anything, though. I guess they all didn't want to be called out for ratting and have to be bullied to, eh? I didn't mind that too much. I was just glad they actually somewhat cared about me at the time.

When I went back to school after that, dressed more normally, a bit more talkative and social, and it just seemed as if everything had calmed down. No one bullied me as much, and they basically just let me be, as if I was actually normal. So that’s basically what I stuck to, to survive the rest of middle school. So basically middle school to me was a roller coaster of good and bad, most of it bad but looking back on it now I think find it silly to believe I let people get to me that easily.

In high school I do basically the same thing, but I’m more open to people, happier, have more friends and am now all around a happy person with an opinion I like to express. I’m happy with myself and with my surroundings. There’s the odd time where I feel really self conscious and shy and below everyone else, but I tend to just let it pass and hope they’ll still like me tomorrow, and that this is not a dream.

I think that’s really it. You just have to be happy with yourself, have good confidence, be yourself in a way that other people can relate you to the normal world, and accept people for who they are. And if you are bullied that you need to stand up for yourself. Even though I never did, I’m guessing it would be better than to just let people keep on picking you.

:)



(Long enuff????)