"Dude, we're leaving." Jack said entering the hotel room we shared. My duffel bags were packed, and I sat on my bed, looking at the wall. I memorized, every line, every different shades it was from it fading. I didn't bother looking at Jack. I felt like everything I've done till now, was idiotic. Stupid. Dumb. I was 'an ego maniac' . (at one point in time, Ashliee had jokingly called me in our relationship.) I wondered if she felt as bad as I felt right now. Scratch that. I didn't want her to feel as bad as I felt. She's been through enough shit, enough pain because of me. It was the right thing not to tell her what happened that night, she caught me having sex with that girl. Maybe she could finally be happy without having me in her life. Maybe she will love Patrick like she once loved me. It was selfish of me to do that to her last night. But I couldn't help it. Something in my heart pounded everytime I looked at her. My hands got all sweaty, and I felt nervous, so of course... I drank until I was drunk. Liquid confidence you might say. I'm actually kind of shy, and nervous when I'm around people that I don't know, or people I like. I guess Jack passed that too me, all these years I've been hanging around with him.
"Alex, are you okay?" Jack asked, and once again I ignored his question.
What was I going to do? I know I had my girlfriend, but to be honest, she's a total concieted bitch. She had brown eyes like Ashliee, she had brown hair like Ashliee, her body was tiny like Ashliee, but Ashliee was so much prettier than Kelsey. Kelsey, that's a pretty name,but Ashliee was beautiful. The way Ashliee dotted "i's" with a heart, the way she looked at the sky dreamily, like she was floating in space. Or the way her eyes sparkled when she wanted strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone, just because ice cream was her favorite dessert. Or the way she would sing-along to the radio when one of her favorite songs came on. The way she smiled when the wind hit her face, blowing her hair lightly. Or the way she would snuggle against my chest, and turn her face everytime there was a scary part in the movie. The way she moved was like she danced across the floor, looking for a back beat. The way she raced Zack, and Zack would always slow down just so she could win, just so we could see her smile, and throw her hands up in the air. Or the way she would call every morning when we were on tour and she was back home, talking about how boring it was without us here, and that the clerk at the store was hitting on her once again. I would laugh, and smile because she's like a disease, everytime you would see her, you would smile, instantly. But the thing the most I missed, was her.
Oh God, I missed her. I missed her so much.
"Alex!" Jack yelled, now throwing something at my face, I looked at him confusingly, as he grabbed my bag, "We're leaving, let's go!"
"All right." I said and I stood up, following behind him, stuffing my hands into my pockets, "Jack?"
"Yeah?" He said walking behind beside me
"Do you think I should tell Ashliee, what actually happened that night?" I asked looking at the floor
I heard him sigh, and felt him pat my back, "That would be the wise thing to do, Alex. Just so she knows you didn't mean to cheat on her intentionally."
"Maybe things will go back to normal, than?" I asked him, now looking at him.
"Maybe things will go back to normal." He said, and smiled
Rian and Zack were now walking beside us, Rian on Jack's side, and Zack on Rian's other side. I sighed, and stopped.
"Guys?" I asked
"Yeah, Alex?" Jack said stopping and turning back to look at me, Zack looked back, but Rian just stood there, looking ahead, his back facing me.
"Before we do our last show, on this tour." I said, and started playing with the lint in my pocket, "I need to apologize. Because we haven't really been a band these past few months. And I take complete blame for it. I know I've acted like a jerk, countless, countless--"
"Countless." Zack added again, and let me continue.
"Right... Thanks." I said and cleared my voice, "I owe you my apologies. I know it doesn't make up for what I've done. But, I am truly, truly sorry. And I love you guys so much, like you guys are my brothers."
"That doesn't make--" Rian piped in
"Let me finish, alright?" I said, and cleared my voice again, "Sorry... And I'm truly sorry for breaking your sisters heart, it was never my intention--"
"Let him finish Rian!" Jack said
"Thanks." I said, and looked down again, "That night, when she found me, I wasn't myself. I got drugged by that girl she caught me with. And, I really truly did thought it was Ashliee, but was only more confused when I heard and saw Ashliee burst through my door, and end our realtionship. If I could take it back, I would take back everything I've ever done to hurt her, and take back everything I've done that hurt you, or Jack, or Zack. I care about you guys too much for anything to let us come between us. You guys, are literally my life, and all I have left. I just need you guys to know that I am sorry."
Zack smiled warmingly at me, and hugged me, and so did Jack. We all looked at Rian, who was looking down.
"You were drugged?" He asked
I nodded, "Yeah."
"How come you didn't tell me--"
"Because I knew you wouldn't believe me." I said, "But I feel better now, that I've told you the truth. I never did mean to hurt your sister, Rian. I love her, so much."
He slightly smiled, and went and hugged me, "I forgive you."
Alright, ten comments. I will double! (:
I also wanted to say, you guys are truly, truly amazing. I know I just recently got my buzznet back again, and I started posting stories, like a week ago. But you guys are literally, AMAZING! Thank you so much for commenting, and buzzing the stuff I post. <3 You guys mean so much.