Peter Pan Syndrome

"Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again."

-Peter

I woke up this morning wishing I was Wendy;  Peter would come and take me to Neverland where he would teach me how to fly.  Then I stopped and thought about what brought me into wishing an immature thing like that.  I checked my phone and the date said 04/10/08 , barely a month until my 19th birthday.  Yes! Just like Peter I dont wanna grow up.

I considered growing up a horrid thought because its "such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience..and pimples" and wrinkles too.  Growing up means more responsibilities, not just more but they also became bigger.  As I lose that unmindful childish thinking I became a chronic thinker that keeps torturing my mind with hundreds of things that i shouldnt even be bothered of. I dont have enough courage and knowledge about what things to prioritize.  Im not good in balancing needs and wants.  I oftentimes chose this over that and end up biting my elbows.  Desicion making was a mammoth challenge I cant overcome.  So many times i screwed up, and the failures left me frustrated.  The frustration kept piling up that I can only think of myself as every inch of a failure.

One thing that also made me a coward about growing up was meeting the expectations of the people around.  When you're a grown up you should act like one.  I was caged in the world of grown ups hoping to escape. I relished that thought of being a care free person thinking of happy thoughts. I dont want to worry about this and that, I wanna do things that would bring me joy. 

I dont understand myself  thinking about this selfish thought.  I guess it would become clearer when I grow up, but I dont want to grow up! Ugh! Looks like I have chioce!! Damn! I refuse to grow up!

Ponder on this:

Wendy: Once upon a time there was a boy named Peter Pan, who decided not to grow up.
Hook: Skip the prologue
Wendy: So he flew away to Neverland where the pirates are.
Hook: What fun he must have had.
Wendy: Yes but he was rather lonely.
Hook: Lonely? He needed a Wendy.
Pirate: I need a Wendy.
Hook: Why a Wendy?
Wendy: He liked my stories.
Hook: What stories?
Wendy: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty.
Hook: Love stories?
Wendy: Adventures! In which good triumphs over evil!
Hook: They all end in a kiss.
Wendy: gasps
Hook: A kiss. He does feel! He feels about you.
Hook: She told him stories. He taught her to fly. How?
Wendy: You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air.
Hook: Alas, I have no happy thoughts.
Wendy: That brings you down!
Hook: [Hook threatens to cut Wendy's throat with his hook] How else?
Michael: Fairy dust! You need fairy dust!
The Lost Boys: Michael!
Hook: What of Pan? Would unhappy thoughts bring him down?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts. 

Maybe we all passed childhood to bring us happy thoughts that would be our strength to face endeavors awaiting us in our grown up journey.  So lets consider me as the Peter Pan, Im in need of a Wendy that would make me realize and accept that all children grow up-except one(why are we compelled to submit to this). Will you be that Wendy?

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