Buzznet Agony Aunt

I'm really happy with this guy, but my aunt and uncle that I live with hate him. I'm only 16 so I can't move out or anything drastic like that, so do I make them happy, or do I keep myself happy? we've been together for 4 monthes and we are so happy together. But they say that all he wants is sex, and that he has no goals in life, and all the bad things that they can think of to try to make me break up with him.
    we aren't even having sex. we are both still virgins and we BOTH plan on staying that way until we are older. I asked about birth control and my aunt said no to it. She's afraid that I'm going to get pregnant before I graduate high school, but she won't do anything to help me prevent it besides being a witch. She has no confidence in me even though she got married at 15.
   My aunt even tries to get me to cheat on my boyfriend. We walk into Walmart and she starts talking about how cute "that guy's hair was," or "ooh look at his muscles." 
   They say they trust me, but then they tell me that we can't be alone together at all. I thought that parents/guardians are supposed to be happy as long as their kids are happy and not hurt.
   They think that they are protecting me from being as stupid as they were/are, but they really are only hurting me.
   I mean, I love them, because they are my family, but they are so difficult to deal with.
   His family loves me. His mom says I'm the daughter she never had. His siblings from both his moms side and his dad side love me too. I don't understand how we love each other so much, and my family hates him, but his family loves me....
   What do I do? who do I listen to?

Help please!!! Thank you!

All the Joy has gone, poisoned and sterile
All the Happiness is dead, carved from my heart.
All that remains is a darkness that sits inside

All the nice words have gone sour,
All the kindness shredded
All that remains is a little voice

A little voice that knows what to say
A little voice that whispers so seductively
A little voice that says that death is warm and loving
A little voice that says that life is not worth living

Despair is his name. Despair is what he does.
Loves has taken her gentleness away, departing in the wind
Despair is there to embrace, to offer comfort and support.
Saying that the pain can end with just a little cut.

Who would miss you? You cause nothing but pain
Even those that promise you love can’t stand you around
Just I little cut, a small pain against the searing hurt if the heart

The warms of flowing blood, the spray of loves vile poison.
The cooling of the pain the numbing of the soul
Then end of living, then the end of pain.

He knows just what to promise, what I want to hear.
He knows that in this blankness reason has no place
He knows all of this because always there

He’s been living in my soul, waiting with a smile.
Watching be build my house of cards knowing that they’ll fall
The last time it was a noose, this time the knife.

Despair knows his trade, despair works so well
Despair has always been there, never far way.
Ready with his embrace whenever I need a hug

Reason is not yet slain, hope makes its last stand.
But when all is said and done, when reason and hope do fight
The truth is still right there, a cannon primed to blow.

Despair has lit the fuse on only waits the blast
Truth is a evil thing, that shows what has happened past
Truth holds on fast and the truth is set in stone that despair has carved

Because the truth is that whenever I have happiness it always slips away
The only time I rise is so that I can fall
That in this impassive world it is selfish man that shapes

Hope make is stand, using it one weapon.
That the future is yet written, that rises can’t all fall
That the evil that men do is ignorance not malice.

Yet what can hope say that despair can’t dispel.
The battle is still rages, yet despair is still rising.
The knife it is still gleaming and the blackness all-consuming

Does anyone else just ever need to talk? Where you just have to say it to get it out but want someone there. You don’t want them to fix it, you just want them to hear. Advice, input, sympathy, more empathy than anything, but just listening. You just want to talk and have someone there. Their opinion is valid but you just need to talk to feel better. It’s how I feel a lot of the time, that I just need to talk. You just need to sit and listen understand this is what’s going on with me and end of story. My mom calls it my soap box… I think it’s partially why I like to argue, I just want to hear what you have to say and tell you what I have to say and back and forth. I never think of an argument as something hateful or wrong until it becomes that. Until it becomes one person attacking you on an emotional level intently. When you know what you are going to say is going to hurt them because of their morals and values and thoughts. My journals and messages are on of my favorite things, because I can say what I have to say get it all out and be like yeah! And then you can all say what you want, but I got out what I wanted to ya know?


We are talking about empathy and attentive listening in my conflict and communications class.

The warning signs of suicide

from http://www.befrienders.org

Suicide is rarely a spur of the moment decision. In the days and hours before people kill themselves, there are usually clues and warning signs.

The strongest and most disturbing signs are verbal - "I can't go on," "Nothing matters any more" or even "I'm thinking of ending it all." Such remarks should always be taken seriously.

Other common warning signs include:

• Becoming depressed or withdrawn
• Behaving recklessly
• Getting affairs in order and giving away valued possessions
• Showing a marked change in behavior, attitudes or appearance
• Abusing drugs or alcohol
• Suffering a major loss or life change

---

The following list gives more examples, all of which can be signs that somebody is contemplating suicide. Of course, in most cases these situations do not lead to suicide. But, generally, the more signs a person displays, the higher the risk of suicide.

Situations

• Family history of suicide or violence
• Sexual or physical abuse
• Death of a close friend or family member
• Divorce or separation, ending a relationship
• Failing academic performance, impending exams, exam results
• Job loss, problems at work
• Impending legal action
• Recent imprisonment or upcoming release

Behaviors

• Crying
• Fighting
• Breaking the law
• Impulsiveness
• Self-mutilation
• Writing about death and suicide
• Previous suicidal behavior
• Extremes of behavior
• Changes in behavior

Physical Changes

• Lack of energy
• Disturbed sleep patterns - sleeping too much or too little
• Loss of appetite
• Sudden weight gain or loss
• Increase in minor illnesses
• Change of sexual interest
• Sudden change in appearance
• Lack of interest in appearance

Thoughts and Emotions

• Thoughts of suicide
• Loneliness - lack of support from family and friends
• Rejection, feeling marginalized
• Deep sadness or guilt
• Unable to see beyond a narrow focus
• Daydreaming
• Anxiety and stress
• Helplessness
• Loss of self-worth

Helping a suicidal friend or relative

Be quiet and listen!

If someone is feeling depressed or suicidal, our first response is to try to help. We offer advice, share our own experiences, try to find solutions.

We'd do better to be quiet and listen. People who feel suicidal don't want answers or solutions. They want a safe place to express their fears and anxieties, to be themselves.

Listening - really listening - is not easy. We must control the urge to say something - to make a comment, add to a story or offer advice. We need to listen not just to the facts that the person is telling us but to the feelings that lie behind them. We need to understand things from their perspective, not ours.

Here are some points to remember if you are helping a person who feels suicidal.

What do people who feel suicidal want?

• Someone to listen. Someone who will take time to really listen to them. Someone who won't judge, or give advice or opinions, but will give their undivided attention.
• Someone to trust. Someone who will respect them and won't try to take charge. Someone who will treat everything in complete confidence.
• Someone to care. Someone who will make themselves available, put the person at ease and speak calmly. Someone who will reassure, accept and believe. Someone who will say, "I care."

What do people who feel suicidal not want?

• To be alone. Rejection can make the problem seem ten times worse. Having someone to turn to makes all the difference. Just listen.
• To be advised. Lectures don't help. Nor does a suggestion to "cheer up", or an easy assurance that "everything will be okay." Don't analyze, compare, categorize or criticize. Just listen.
• To be interrogated. Don't change the subject, don't pity or patronize. Talking about feelings is difficult. People who feel suicidal don't want to be rushed or put on the defensive. Just listen.