In the last year and espeacially in the last weeks I realized that every single person I know is fighting or struggling with something. They might seem strong but everyone has something to worry about. Sometimes I'm shocked by how unhappy someone really is though they are smiling constantly. Often it's the people who seem rock-solid on the outside who get hurt the easiest.
I was hosting a birthday party last Sunday and I really did my best to be a good hostess. I cleaned everything, spent hours preparing food, constantly ran to the basement to get people drinks and prepared a place to stay for those to wasted to go back home. My friends who I have known for half of my life where surprised by my kindness and I don't blame them. I have spent an awfully long time in my late teenage days and my early adult days caring about noone but myself. Really, I was an awful friend. I lost friends over my egoism and just a few stuck with me and I am beyond grateful that they did. Those are the people who have known me, apart from my family, the longest. They deserve to be treated well.
It was just three years ago when for the first time in my life I stopped cutting everyone out, when I let people into my heart and guess what. Those people walked all over me. And I realized how much it hurts. I decided that I have to stop walking all over people because I can't blame someone for treating me bad if I do it myself. Plus, this was the time I met my boyfriend and he was so unbelievable good to me that I permanently wondered how I deserve all of this though I was an awful person. This is why one of my new years resolutions for 2014 is to be a better person.
And you know what I discovered? Not only do you make other people happy with kind acts, you also feel incredible! I can really feel how the poisonous behaviors are being sucked out of me and how my surroundings become purer and shinier.
But of course I am far away from being Mother Theresa. Noone is perfect. My grandma is the nicest person I know but even she has her flaws. She really watches her weight and is really really into healthy living. I mean this is great for her but unfortunately she also preaches her lifestyle to others. She tells my cousin that she should skip dinner or at least have nothing warm for dinner, though my cousin is not big at all. She has a nice body and she is only 15, so she is still growing up and needs food. One day my cousin told her father about how my grandma's behaviour hurts her and he told my grandma and she said she didn't even realize that it bothers her so much.
This is just an example that people are vulnerable even if you can't see it and that you might not even notice that you are hurting them. So please choose your words carefully, say thank you, hold people the door open, offer old persons a seat, bake something for your friends, give your family members a present without any reason just because they are there for you, apologize. Be kind. It really makes all the difference.