Does YOUR Insurance Cover Acts of Vampire?

Ah, I remember taking my driver’s test. Buckle your seat belt. Hands at 10 and 2. Check your rearview mirror for vampires.

Wait. What?

I vant to vreck your car!

Well, according to a woman in Colorado, you really do need to watch for vampires on the road. She would know, since she saw one on a dirt road, put her car in reverse to get away and ended up crashing her car into a canal.

Reportedly, none of the State Troopers who reached the scene could find any sign of a vampire, but considering the undead have supehuman speed this is unsurprising. Also, it’s very likely that even if a vampire were found by the police, the officers in question could easily be put under the creature’s “thrall” and be forced to forget…or even lured into its service with the promise of eventual eternal life.

Of course, for most young women, the concern of vampire regarding motor vehicles is not so much on the road as it is that your psycho stalker vampire boyfriend will disable the engine in your car because he doesn’t like your best friend and doesn’t want you to go see him. These young women are urged to remember that there are many helplines and groups for those stuck in abusive relationships.

The general conclusion one can draw, however, is: vampires? In Colorado? Nah.