People Are Sharing The Weirdest Things They Found In The Woods, So Watch Your Step
When you go on a hike you, expect to find a variety of flora and fauna. You know, the typical green things that make you take your antihistamines and go on your Instagram page to break up your string of mirror selfies. What we don’t expect to see is a mountain of dinner plates or a robot.
Here are some of the weirdest things that people have spotted while out and about in the middle of the woods. Spoiler alert – it’s not just trees out there anymore.
Back Away Slowly We Got A Live One
This is not a drill. Reddit user mylittletoesie said that their ‘brother found this (missile)? in the woods in Tennessee.’ Yay for finding things, not yay when they could potentially be unexploded missiles. Hopefully, this guy contacted the authorities before making the Reddit post but hey, we all have our priorities.
Some say this is potentially a fireworks prop, others say it’s a dummy ‘Honest John’ short-range missile. Whatever it is, the best method of approach isn’t always the ‘dead thing’ method – do not grab a stick and poke.
A Flock Of Wild Toilets Roosting
They look like they’re having a real stinky meeting. They’re all flushed with uncomfortable anger at having no snacks provided for the meeting either. Their number 2 employee didn’t even show up.
This must be some kind of performance art piece by an artist who’s trying to show the degradation of capitalist society to a point that all we’ve achieved amounts to nothing but amoral garbage. Or it’s your crazy neighbor who thinks these give off a friendly kooky vibe.
An Abandoned Russian Mansion That Is Definitely Haunted
This abandoned Russian mansion is the set of every single scary movie. Whether there’s a doll in the attic, a cult in the treehouse, a body in the concrete, or a witch in the basement, this house totes a serious will-kill-you vibe. Honey, this isn’t the Airbnb we need.
Whoever took this photo hopefully ran right after taking this before whatever is in there woke up and started sharpening its teeth. We’ve all watched The Blair Witch Project enough times to know that this is a no-fly zone. I bet there’s not even Wifi there.
Awhhh Pooh’s Little Hideaway
This is an adorable tribute to our favorite bumbling bear in the Hundred Acre Wood. The ‘Mr. Sanderƨ’ logo didn’t make it to this forest sign, but the sentiment is cute nonetheless. Now where’s Piglet, Tigger, and Roo gone off to?
This would be really nice to find in the woods. There’s some sort of childish magic in the Winne the Pooh books and it’s comforting to see it brought to life here. Just don’t go knocking on the door asking for honey.
These People Must Have Been Attacked By Subterranean Mutants After Taking This Photo
This abandoned train tunnel is another major do-not-disturb zone. Seriously, have these people even seen Spirited Away or Cloverfield? Bad stuff happens when you take the creepy tunnel. Do you see that light at the end of the tunnel? It’s literal death because mutants and spirits are coming for you. Do not approach.
A lot of these finds we can chalk up to people who have no cultural knowledge of scary movies. You’re not finding a friendly Tom Hanks and Wilson huddled around a fire when you poke your head in here. You’re finding the zombies from I Am Legend.
A Helicopter Going Nowhere
There are a few explanations for this, the most likely being there was a crash and the helicopter was left to be abandoned. That seems the most plausible reason as to why it’s in the woods, but it doesn’t explain why it’s stopped completely upright, there’s minimal structural damage, and the trees around it don’t appear to be destroyed.
This looks like some sort of wizard conjured up a helicopter on the spot and then left it to rot away. That would be a good reason for why there was no reliable transportation other than walking in Lord of The Rings.
An Aquafina Vending Machine Where It Belongs
This is a good photo. This is a photo where an Aquafina vending machine is finally where it belongs – abandoned and alone. Some may say that Dasani would be more apt, but most will agree that Aquafina has rightfully earned its stripes to stand alongside the nasty water brand.
Whether you agree or don’t have a refined palette, we can all see this photo has a strange ceremonial aura. Why are these rocks placed around here and why does the sun shine so perfectly on this spot? There better not be any Aquafina worship going on…
This Dead Robot That Started Terminator 3
This is the scariest find on the list because it’s seriously unexplainable. Why would a scientist dump an obviously expensive robot here, why is it decapitated, and when are our robot overlords coming to give it a proper burial?
This find is either the start to The Terminator or the ending of The Star Wars trilogyif CP30 fell into a motor oil addiction after being out of a Hollywood job. There’s a story behind this and they all end with the annihilation of most of humankind. Cheers, Mr. Roboto.
Where All The Plates You Dropped Serving Went
Did a plate factory burn down? Was there a giant migration of birds carrying plates for their nests? Or is this just the universe’s way of asking you to be more careful by showing you how many plates you’ve broken in your lifetime?
Seriously, just donate these. There’s no reason for anyone or any company to just dump thousands of plates in the woods. This makes no sense unless there’s some kind of illegal plate cartel looking to unload some product. Wait, is there something we don’t know about the plate industry?
This Raided Cigarette Machine That Doesn’t Have Juuls
This find is like something out of Bioshock where you find an old-timey machine left abandoned and ransacked. Reddit user mooseman1800 had an eerie finder’s moment when they found ‘an old cigarette machine that had been broken into.’
Now, smoking is definitely fallen out of vogue over the past few years, and we’re all better for it. However, with prices going up, it’s not surprising that someone was looking to save a few bucks. But why did they have to steal the whole machine?
You Should Carrot About This
According to cavkie, the original poster on Imgur, their dog led them to this giant pile of carrots in the middle of the woods one day. What’s even stranger than the obvious questions about how and why this find is there, is that all of these carrots appear ripe.
One popular theory is that this is a deer feed pile that hunters use to bait deer. But how many deer are they trying to catch here? The magnitude of this pile is too great not to carrot about it.
This Portal To The Unknown
Either this tree has been watching way too many daytime sci-fi shows or it’s an actual portal to a strange dimension. The weirdest part about this is that there’s nobody trying to jump through it in the photo. The lure of inter-dimensional travel is too great for any mortal to withstand – this photo must’ve been captured by a fairy on the other side.
What’s most likely is that this tree grew around a tree that had fallen over and decayed at some point. But that’s not fun. What’s more fun is thinking this is a Smurf rollercoaster.
Forbidden Stairs To Nowhere
Reddit user searchandrescuewoods, a search and rescue worker for the US Forest Service, says that it’s a common unspoken occurrence to find stairs. He says that, ‘on just about every case where we’re really far into the wilderness, I’m talking 30 or 40 miles, at some point, we’ll find a staircase in the middle of the woods.’
He continues, ‘It’s almost like if you took the stairs in your house, cut them out, and put them in the forest. I wanted to go check them out, but I was told, very emphatically, that I should never go near any of them.’
Twitter user @krenshar_posts was browsing a hunter forum and saw that one hunter found a boat in the woods. The poster sais he saw ‘what I thought was my uncle’s long lost boat up in the brush. So I pulled it down and dragged it back to his camp.’
His uncle didn’t recognize the boat, so the hunter said he ‘had to tow it back and back to exactly where I found it. One well-meaning guy on the river accused me of stealing the boat. I assured him I was returning it.’ Why would he ever drag it back?
Ent Or Demonic Tree Spirit Watching You?
This person witnessed quite a magical moment when this tree guardian decided to come out of the woodworks and watch their quest. Or it’s a demon about to suck their soul up if they litter. Or it’s a tree growth. Either way, keep to the trail bud.
This thing would be terrifying to see silhouetted by the moon in the dead of night when you’re camping, but it would also be a great way to encourage waste-free campsites. Do you feel the urge to suddenly bring your own garbage bags with you?
A Discarded Walking Cane For Nobody
Reddit user Windowsblastem says that he lives, ‘in the middle of nowhere, very rural America, only neighbors are my family members. One day I was walking through the woods squirrel hunting and I found a walking cane just laying on the ground. I asked all my family members and none of them knew where it came from.’
This one is scary because you wonder where the person is now who needs the cane? Canes are supposed to go everywhere with you. You want to think the best, but this one is as chilling as it gets.
Robin Hood Wants His Sword Back
Reddit user CodeNameScythey found this sword while they were walking one day in the Epping Forest in England. Engraved on the sword’s handle is the letters ‘KSF’ which stand for ‘Knight’s of the Sherwood Forest.’
The Sherwood Forest in England is famous for housing the rumored Major Oak – the hideout of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. This person stumbled across potentially a bit of myth and history. What a perfect serendipitous way for the ‘steal from the rich give to the poor’ gang to continue their ethics.
This Abandoned Crematorium Isn’t Smoke And Mirrors
Reddit user jonny_five says they stumbled upon ‘an old crematorium in the woods of an uninhabited island.’ Now, if this isn’t haunted by a few spirits, we’d all be surprised. Or at least by some monkeys that nest in it now.
This would be a weird find to stumble across because of its implications. Normally, crematoriums are near graveyards and entombment sites – so where’s the town and the graves nearby if it’s in the middle of the woods? Very spooky.
This Portal To The Ministry Of Magic
The only plausible explanation for this is that either the Doc is lost or the Ministry of Magic is expanding their transportation routes into rural zones. There’s always the old garbage dump or old gas station that was torn down except for the booth explanations, but the magic ones are far more likely here.
These phone booths are super valuable now because of the old-world nostalgia they induce and how great they look in the corner of hipster restaurants. American telephone booths are too vandalized and filled with garbage to achieve those feelings.
A Human Bone?
Reddit user Bjorna_Gloom says that one day while she and her brother were hunting, ‘I noticed a bone sticking out of the river bed. Upon further inspection, my brother and I discovered it wasn’t a deer bone at all. We made measurements and compared it to an anatomy guide online. It was much too long and narrow to be a deer.’
She says they were scared so they, ‘called the cops and we asked them if it was a human bone. They told us not to ask questions like that and we never heard of it again.’ That’s so unnerving.