5 Ways To Cope In A Hookup Obsessed Culture
Let’s get right to the point: we live in a hookup obsessed culture. The art of dating just may become extinct in the coming years as apps like Tinder make their way up the social ladder, making finding that special someone even harder than scoring Halsey tickets. If you’re like me, you probably curse under your breath as you overhear the conversations of other millennials on the street as they casually talk about their hookups like it’s as normal as going to the grocery store. You start to think that maybe you’re old-fashioned – that surely you need to loosen up a bit if you want to find the right person for you. Then you snap back to reality as you realize that the right person won’t be magically uncovered during a meaningless hookup; you’re not about that life and you’re not about to start.
Whether you’re a fan of hooking up or not, that’s your prerogative. Maybe you’re jaded and the only way you feel wanted is by engaging in a hookup. I’m here to tell you that there’s more, but it’s going to take a lot of work. Here are 5 ways to cope in a hookup obsessed culture:
1. Know your worth!
You’ve heard this before, I’m sure. This never gets old and the more you allow something to happen, the more you’ll tell yourself that it’s perfectly okay when it’s really not. There’s a beauty in being upfront and honest with someone you’re interested in and if that’s not reciprocated, you need to walk the other way. You’re worth more than a swipe, a one-night stand or that walk of shame. The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be. Ditch the shady behavior for someone with a sunny outlook. (That was lame, huh? You get the picture.)
2. Look at the bigger picture.
Maybe you’ve hooked up with someone thinking they’ll change and want to start dating you only to find that they scampered out the door faster than you imagined. It’s times like these when you need to realize that there is nothing wrong with being single and that if holding out for the right person means you’ll have to miss out on things most of your (let’s be honest – confused and miserable) friends are doing, then maybe it’s time to take that leap. There’s a bigger picture out there than the one you’re seeing now. You just need to break out of a toxic environment to fully appreciate it.
3. Pride yourself on your desire to put in work.
Let’s be honest here – sadly, courting a woman is as ancient as the NYC subway system…or dial-up internet, even! I, personally, wait to see if a guy takes the initiative to actually put in the work of asking me out and treating me like a human being. “So uhh, hey, wanna hang out?” just doesn’t cut it, and maybe I expect too much and am destined to be alone forever, but I stand behind my morals. If he doesn’t put in the work now, who will he be down the road? Any relationship takes effort but if it feels like you’re the only one putting your heart out on the line, it’s time to move on and find someone who appreciates your efforts rather than someone who runs from them. They are out there!
4. Treat yourself!
You don’t need a significant other to make you feel loved and if you’re waiting for that guy you hooked up with last weekend to send you flowers, you must be out of your mind! It’s important to treat yourself! Buy a bouquet of roses and set them in your bedroom or office. Make cupcakes for your friends, buy that handbag you’ve been eyeing or have a solo movie night with a pint of rocky road. Do whatever makes your heart happy and remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…except for the half-priced candy the day after! 😉
5. Stand your ground!
It was only after I broke up with my last boyfriend that I realized how freeing it is to be single; to not have to worry about what he’s going to criticize me for next. We accept unhealthy relationships because we’re afraid of the emptiness it may leave us in, but the truth is that we are better off solo than in a relationship that drains us of what makes us beautiful. If you’re feeling pressured (we are our own worst critics) to rush into a hookup with someone who you don’t have a good feeling about, hold off and think it over. Only you know what’s best for you. Real love is out there but you’ll never find it immersed in old habits. Stay strong!
How do you deal in this hookup obsessed culture?