Why Are We Worlds Apart…
Dear Moon Children,
First of all, I wanna give a big shoutout to Jeff aka Seven Lions for letting me be a part of the magical soundscapes he’s creating. He’s hands down my favorite producer out there and it’s been so amazing working in a such a synchronistic way that barely any notes and comments get exchanged. So much on the same page are we about how music is supposed to feel that tweaks have rarely been necessary…it’s been completely effortless. He just does what he does and I just do what I do… Thank you Jeff for being magical!!!
Here’s a pic of us being total goofballs. Cat faces via cat wang<3
Now to the creation process….
I first received the tracks from him quite a while back – about 1.5 years ago while in Brazil (OMG I love Brazil) and the moment I heard the track for “Worlds Apart”, the melody just created itself and poured out of me. It’s quite a gift when that happens because creating (at least for me) is a lot more about discipline than it is about divine intervention these days. My muse is a massive diva and she comes and goes as she pleases, not taking orders from anyone 🙂 So it’s a blessing when she graces the space with her presence, bringing effortlessness to the process.
Here’s a picture from that day…it’s super shitty but seems to be the only one I can find. Notice how green the trees are in Brazil, exploding with life. The table on my right is where the melody was written<3
The track was already called ‘Worlds Apart’ and I thought it was a stunning concept so I decided to keep it.
When thinking about the lyrics, I started going back to all the times where I felt disconnected and removed while all I wanted is to feel close and understood. I realized I had felt “worlds apart” far more often than I would have liked.
First, growing up in an abusive home in a small town of 5000 people in the woods of Estonia. I didn’t know any artists or people that dared to dream big and I imagined there was a world out there where these sorts of people existed but since I had not seen it, I wasn’t sure. I felt suicidal all the time with a deep sense of not belonging on this planet. To be honest, I have failed to truly and deeply connect with other human beings for most of my life….until just recently at 27 years old, after doing serious work on myself since I was 13.
A cute picture of my hometown:
Aaaand….here’s me at 16. Fuck the system, man. Fuck the system. Lol. #takesabonghit (but not really cause we didn’t have any drugs in Elva, thank God)
So all you moon children out there, going through a tough time with the set of cards you were dealt – don’t give up my precious ones. Life is to be created and we are limitless beings. Everyone telling you that your dreams will never be realized are just projecting their own misery into your reality. Everything is possible when one works hard and keeps going.
E V E R Y T H I N G.
Now living in LA I experience a different type of reality with different kinds of connections and feel removed in a totally different kind of way. I haven’t owned a TV for the past 10 years and very rarely go out…I am basiacally a workaholic kawaii nun.
Here’s the sunset from my temple. Yes, I actually live in one.
I am beyond blessed with tons of creative and driven people in my life but when I see mainstream media or think about the pharmaceutical business for example, I feel quite alien.
Our society seems to be built upon greed and obsession with looks and status. The illusion of separation causing competition and judgment. I am not saying it’s wrong cause what is right or wrong anyway. Who am I to judge how someone else chooses to live. And who are they to judge my ways? It’s just sad sometimes that truly open and honest connections are so few cause most people wear layers of bullshit and protection, play power games and take on roles and identities without ever experiencing the ecstatic freedom of being authentic.
I guess I’m trying to say It hurts to feel this far Million miles away When next to me, Next to me You are….
After getting home from Brazil, I was stoked to “go into my cocoon” and start recording the vocals. The vocals to me are like an instrument to an instrumentalist. My body being mine – I am obsessed with the detail while capturing these vibrations and equally obsessed with training my body to create the sounds I imagine. It’s safe to say I spend at least 5 hours every day working with my voice. It never used to be like this until I worked with Kuk Harell – the most amazing vocal producer in the world. He vocal produces Rihanna and Justin Bieber amongst others and his craft shaped the way I work greatly. Nothing is left to chance, every punch, every breath… I can sometimes spend 2 days on vocals for a track because it’s that specific. I usually record word by word, sentence by sentence to get just the right tone for everything.
It was so amazing to work on Seven Lions tracks because his soundscapes are so intricate and lush, it really gave me something to step up to and find the right spaces to fill with walls of Enya-esque vocals. Enya is a huge influence on the new music I’m making. She’s the embodiment of etherealness<3
To end this veeery long post on my creative process, I wanna thank you for your continuous support. I am so happy to see all the positive feedback on the new music and it’s touching to see people being so moved by something we are creating in our bedrooms.
Thank you, thank you, thank you….<3
PS: watch out for some epic giveaways this month via the Facebook of me and Seven Lions. We’re giving away private chats, show tickets and all that jazz.