Relationship Blog: The Lovers, The In-betweeners, & The Lonely.
Love is a beautiful thing when you know exactly what it is. That four letter word is so foreign to me and I’m pretty okay with that. You’re suppose to spend your life uncovering it. Some people dig frantically. Some want to leave it covered. Others dig and then cover it back up. Some people think they know what it is, but some of those people are wrong. Can love be trusted?
The years we spend on earth is normally spent looking for “The Who”. Who am I going to date. Who am I going to marry. Am I looking at who now? When is who going to come into my life? We are constanly seeking. You might walk into a coffee shop and say, “Okay, this is gotta end now. The next guy that comes in and orders a black coffee… He is the one.” And of course that guy comes and he doesn’t meet your standards and you say, “Okay the next one that does.” Or maybe you’re into Pizza and that’s where you’re seeking.
You are probably like, “Gabbie, why am I not meeting him?”
All I can say is, you want to find someone who values the same things as you. So, you might want to not be seeking in a club or at bar, if you like respect and a classy man. Put yourself in a situation and surrond yourself with others who value what you do. I spent way too much time seeking love in a music setting and they all crashed and burned. Why? Because I wasn’t putting myself in a setting with the things I wanted. Maybe, just one thing… but not the whole package.
You only go through three stages of love your whole life. The Lovers,The In-betweeners & The Lonely.
To the lovers: we go off feelings and emotions and the brain freaks out for 18 to 24 months. That is the butterflies (I FEEL THE BUTTERFLIES… OMG). During that time, you don’t function properly. After it fades, and it will. You are stuck with each other. Looks aren’t everything…. even Ken ages. Our culture has it boiled down to apperience. What you’re actually stuck with at the end of the day is character. You should be asking yourself these questions.
Do they treat other people well and with respect?
Do they act the same around you as they do around others?
Do they encourage others?
Do they follow through?
Do they hold a grudge or do they forgive?
To the in-betweeners: my least favorite stage of potential love. We often expect too much from love. You have to be realstic with yourself. Are we going anywhere?….. Or are we going to be in this not sure what we are stage. Some people are okay with this term… You shouldn’t be. You’re only wasting time. I often iike to view this as the “USER” point in life. One person in the realtionship is using the other. Playing with emotions, using for sex, not being respectful. The other is often wanting to change them. Repeat after me, “You can’t change anybody.” Please escape at all cost.
To the lonely: it’s better to be lonely, than to be in a realtionship because you want to. Most people jump into things, because they are lonely. They need to feel wanted, loved, deserving. That term, need. You don’t need anything besides food( Pizza), air and water. You want it. Stop craving and take a hot minute to really search for something pure and honest. Take a minute to just do you. Surrond yourself with things you love.
Single…Dating…Marriage. They aren’t easy. Love is not just a human connection with somebody. It’s the things that you enjoy. You could love hiking or dancing or singing. Channel that love into things you enjoy when you’re in the single stage.
Remember: Serendipity, Fate and Chance all are on your side.
So Ladies, STOP hating on Valentine’s Day because you’re single. I find comfort in being in this season of life. Yes, season of life. No, you won’t be in this state forever as we all like to express on social media. I always view being single as a learning process to better understand myself. I really needed it this year. I like to think I know what I want out of realtionships and life, but I really truly don’t. I want a relationship to be rare and not an every month or year occurrence.
Happy Valentines Day To The Lovers, The In-betweers, & The Lonely.