Personal Post: Staring At The Ceiling

Sometimes I sit in my bed and stare at the white ceiling. I think, wonder, dream, and always believe that I am on this universe for a reason. As everyone knows the past couple months have been REALLY hard for me, but not hard in a bad way. Hard in a way of moving on, and ACTUALLY starting my life. From dealing with a breakup to moving to figuring out what my next move is. Some days I actually just drive for a hour blasting my music tearing up a little bit and then just taking some time for myself to just breath and relax.

In no way I am complaining about what is going on in my life, just venting on how sometimes you think you know how your life is going to turn out.. but it doesn’t turn out like that at all. I am so thankful to have some amazing family members, friends, and Beyonce of course to keep me strong willed and to keep me fighting.

At this time last year, I thought I would be packing up my house and moving across country to Los Angeles, and now I am packing up my house and moving into to god knows where in Bethlehem.. I have an AMAZING project coming into my life as well as my families, and I know it is going to change my life forever. Sometimes I get really envious of people who can just pick up and move, but then again I think to myself… I am such a home body, I like being with my family, I like breathing in the air. I don’t want to move somewhere and become someone I am not. 

I know that I am the only ME in this universe, I am special and I was put on this universe for a great reason. A year from now I know my life is going to change to the extreme. I am so ready for it, I am so ready to start living, start being to busy for things, and to start being extremly happy and fufilled with life.

It may seem like I have no patience at all, (well not much) I try my hardest every day to stay positive and to will myself to know in my heart of hearts that something amazing is going to come out of this. And it will. 

So now, as I am sitting in my bed staring at the white ceiling.. I can see my life before me, visualizing every aspect of perfection, and I am so ready for it to begin.


Samii Ryan

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