Can We Talk About How Beyonce Is Probably NOT Pregnant?

You guys. The entire internet seems to be completely convinced that Beyonce is without a doubt pregs again. I’d like to stand before you and ask why? I am not writing this as a person who spent an infant-sized piece of gold on concert tickets next month but as someone who exercises logic on a bi-monthly basis.  

We all know that when it came to announcing her first pregnancy it was a big to-do: 

Not only is there no hoopla over the insemination this time around, but the only people who have confirmed are “sources“. I don’t know about YOU, but I watch Newsroom (because I’m worldly and because I’ve already watched all of West Wing) and so I know that to maintain journalistic integrity you need THREE solid sources. Confirmation on matters such as Osama Bin Laden’s death, election results, and the inner workings of our reigning pop diva’s lady parts are important! 

Next, in a response to a radio DJ’s congratulatory emailJay-Z apparently replied saying essentially “that sh*t is falllllllse!” 

Today B posted photos of her and Jay’s trip to Cuba on her Tumblr, one of which is her smoking a cigar on a balcony:

That was only a month ago and now girl is chillin in the south of France on a Yacht! So according to ME it would appear that Blue Ivy Carter will remain the bitch in charge at least until the end of the Mrs.Carter Tour. 

In other B news you can listen to her newly leaked single below. It is awezum: 

 I know that it’s technically none of my business but do YOU REALLY THINK that Beyonce would let news like this leak?