EW WHY? Lindsay Lohan Is Covered In Bruises and Vanessa Hudgens Needs To Stop

^This is me reading the daily news. 

It’s only Wednesday and yet so much weird sh*t has happened in Hollywood already. Let’s discuss.

First things first, Lindsay Lohan is mysteriously covered in bruises

Amanda Bynes thinks that switchin’ her weave to red will convince us that she has an evil twin out there: 

Yep that’s right Ryan Cabrera got a Ryan Gosling tattoo. So there’s that. 

This Vanessa Hudgens video for $$$ex is madness and I dont understand:

Avril WON’T grow up…or go away :/ 

Did I miss any cray-cray news? What can we make off all this? Is the world ending any day now?