Being so in love that you can never get enough of someone. You feel like you constantly want them, more of them, even when you have them. You feel like you need to climb inside them to have them wholly. Simply holding them isn’t enough. You have an insatiable desire for them; an appetite that cannot be fed. You yearn for them with a thirst that can never be quenched.
I don’t know why everyone talks about being in love like it’s an easy experience. It’s fucking hard. You have to constantly work to present the greatest person you can be, always putting your best foot forward. You want this person you’ve let into your life to never see any flaws in you. You want them to constantly think you’re perfect and float through your life; not the person who trips up over nothing on the sidewalk and gets food stuck in their teeth. You feel like you’re constantly striving to be this amazing person that they can be proud of and talk about to their friends. It’s like a competition to keep him in your life; you want to be the best so that they won’t look for it elsewhere. It’s tiring but you keep on doing it because the thought of not being with them and going it alone again is terrifying.
Being in love is like having a full time job. It takes dedication to put someone else’s feelings first, to consider them when you make your important decisions. You have to learn to stop being selfish; it’s “we” instead of “me” now, remember!
You have to accept the small flaws they have and smile sweetly like they never bothered you in the first place. Which is pretty contradictory considering you’re not inflicting any of your own flaws onto them.
And you’re scared about how much you love this person, how you’re practically at their mercy. They could rip your heart out and throw it away if they wished. You are in such a vulnerable way. You are so vulnerable that you don’t realise this probably isn’t a healthy way to live. You’re putting so much stress on yourself to be with this person. It’s worth it though right?