Heartblog: We Broke Up, We Saw Eachother Again, Now What?

I’ve been chatting with a friend of mine who is going through a pretty epic breakup. (are there any other kinds?) I feel so sad for her that her heart is hurting so badly. I feel like there are some universal laws of hearts that we’ve been talking about and I wanted to share them with you.

“how did you know Swoon was the one?” 

He was in my life, and I was convinced that I would never in my lifetime meet a human that I loved being around more. It wasn’t about sex, or money or notoriety or being cool. It was that I had 60 more years on this planet and I knew that when I died I could die without regrets if I chose a life with him. It’s incredibly easy to be in this relationship, because he is the best human I have ever met, and I’m constantly reminded of that. I guess that’s what I want to try to get through to people. That when you are with the right person, it’s so easy. It’s isn’t so dramatic and crazy. It’s like a sense of calm. Forever love is very calm.

“I envy that”

…but you have to make room for it. You cannot be hanging onto someone, or something and think that your forever love will find room in your life. I was single for 2 good years, sure I went on dates, but I was opening up a huge spot in my life for Swoon to come into.

“I saw the EX and we fell asleep on the couch, but it wasn’t enough to make him change his mind.”


…tough love. Guys don’t change their minds. He is never going to say whatever it is that you are hoping he will say to make you feel better. You are best to cut of all contact with him, because each time you go back and allow yourself to be disappointed it’s one more day you are behind on getting better and getting over it. 

“okay, I’ll stop waiting for it to make sense.” <—– smartest thing she’s said in a month. Because, guys, love doesn’t make sense, and certainly break-ups do not make sense. You have to give yourself time to digest your breakup, and time to be smart about it, and time to do stupid things like call, see, text, hug them, and then time to cut them out of your life. It would be much easier if we all just jumped right to the cut out of your life part, but I sort of know you won’t do that. My point is, people who hurt you, they don’t love you. Maybe they love you a little, but if they are hurting your heart on a scale grand enough to cause a breakup, they don’t love you enough. 

When you love someone, you love them through all the mess that is life. Some people are not meant to be together, even if everything in the whole world points to them being together, you cannot see it now but you will be better, your heart will heal. promise.