Buzznet Storytellers Assignment #19 – Style

This is going to be pretty disappointing. My style was once described as being “lesbian cat burglar meets bike messanger of yore” by one Yasi Salek. I cannot really argue with that. I own a ton of cut off shorts and most of my shirts are sleeveless. Most of my shirts are black and my shorts are super tight because they are all pants my nephew gave me after I got out of the coffin and back with the living. Needless to say, they are meant for children and I am a damn man.

When I was like, 110 pounds, these shorts were baggy and then I got back to running and cycling and now I am kind of a sausage in a skin I guess. I need to buy some new gear. I just can’t though. I do that thing whenever I go shopping and I have immediate buyer’s remorse and it sucks. I just can’t buy new shit all willy nilly. Things have to be falling apart pretty before I replace them.

I have like, a pair of Van’s slip ons, running shoes, a rain boots, and some chanclas for when I am doing laundry/being really Mexican. Anyway, I pretty much dress like this all the time:

My happy clothes

and then, for all my other moods –

All blaqk F YEAH

I don’t really like wearing clothes. I know that sounds weird but it’s not that weird. I usually will just wear shorts when I am lounging in my apartment. Moo doesn’t seem to mind that I am half naked. She’s a dog and whatever. She doesn’t judge.

Anyway, I even wear shorts when it rains. I’ve worn pants like maybe 4 times in my time working here and like that’s about it. Pants feel gross on my legs. My leg prickles get all mad and I get really warm.

I like to lie to myself and say that I like wearing shorts because I am always riding my bike or running or doing dumb shit and stuff like that. It’s true for the most part but I guess I am just lazy and can’t be bothered to go shopping. I also hate spending money on clothes because I am not really in them a lot unless I am outside.

Anyway, that’s it. I don’t really have any style. Don’t be mad. I know I work at this fashion-y site and stuff and with a bunch of people that know fashion stuff but I don’t really care about the latest this or that hem frocks or w/e because I just never got into it (which is weird because I am a gay and everyone is all O U MUST LIKE CLOTHES and I am always all like EWW SIQQ NO GO AWAY).

That is all.

r