Things I Learned From Reading “Bossypants” by Tina Fey (And Ways We Are Freakishly Similar)

I just finished reading “Bossypants” by Tina Fey and I love her even more now! I never knew just how similar we are until now. Maybe it’s because we share a name? Or it could just be that we’re oddballs who are going to change the world someday? Who knows? 😛

These are the things that I resonated with. I’m thinking of hiring her as my life coach. 😀

Some of this stuff isn’t too dude friendly. Sorry bros. 😀

1. When you’re a young lady, they always say you become a woman when you get your first menstrual period. I always thought that was a load of crap but most of the women in my family all told me that. My grandmother even gave me a dollar when I got mine. (God bless her hahaha) Tina thought the same thing; I mean if our family says it, it must be true, right? *sarcasm* Not according to the skank society. You’re a woman once some dude does something nasty to you. Feeling classy at age 12, ladies? 😉

2. We both do not enjoy “car creepery.” You know, when obnoxious guys roll down their windows and shout disrespectful nonsense at you.

3. We’re both half Greek.

4. We both got the “you’d be pretty if…” speech. Hers was “you’d be pretty if you lost some weight.” Mine was “you’d be pretty if you wore makeup.” That was from a pseudo-friend in the 8th grade that looked like she crawled out of the sewer. Go figure.

5. You can’t boss people around if they don’t care. So true. In my case, I can try to tell people to have manners and respect but if nobody cares, it’s a lost cause. Everyone’s living like Honey Badger. DON’T CARE!

6. Her most important rule of beauty is: “Who cares?”

7. “When faced with adversity in the workplace, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is a no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work. Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Do your thing and don’t care if they like it or not. When you’re the boss, then they’ll be kissing you’re a$$.”

8. People who write hate mail online need to be dealt with sort of like a timeshare. Either you can take the plunge and indulge in all of the self-satisfying activities (writing back to them) or you can just walk out with your head held high and nothing to lose. (Except maybe a damn good time at insulting an offender.) Oh the possibilities.

9. Don’t get involved with politics because no matter what you say, it is always “WRONG!!!”

10. No matter what “experts,” books, magazines, or “braggy mommies” say: breast-feeding is a choice. “You owe it to your baby” to feed it whatever you deem healthy and to teach it good morals for the foundations of a good life. Save all the hoopla for the drama queens and the ones who so desperately want to sound relevent.

11. “Getting a manicure would be a great exercise for someone who thinks they want to move to New York. Sit in an enclosed space full of fumes and hold hands with a stranger for twenty minutes while everyone around you speaks a language you don’t understand. If you enjoy this, you’ll enjoy the 6 train.”

12. After they hit a certain age, women in show business are labeled “crazy” by men. Tina’s suspicion is that men say that because they feel those women are not umm…”do-able” to them anymore. The only woman who has escaped the “crazy” moniker is Betty White. But let’s keep in mind that there are older men who can barely clean or take care of themselves and they still work. I’d just like to make it clear that that goes for all generations. It’s called “intimidation” or just plain ignorance on the male part. Most times if you don’t give them what they want, they’ll label you something disgusting. A real woman never flirts or sleeps with anyone to get ahead.

13. I really want someone like her as a boss someday. She realizes that she cannot be selfish because there are other people involved. There are almost 200 staff workers on the set of 30 Rock who, unlike her, are not working at their dream job and that need that job to pay the bills and support their families. If she flaked out, their jobs would disappear.

14. Things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for us. Can we join together and hug it out?

15. Whenever in crisis/worry mode, put yourself in the shoes of those less fortunate or of someone who’s been through the worst i.e. a soldier. What do you see? A tiny person with nothing to worry about running in circles. Relax.

16. “Everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.”