The Bully Project
When I was a teenager living in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, I felt like a fish out of water. There was no one else in my town that dared to dream big and I just felt suffocated by the hopelessness and dullness around me so I started experimenting with how I looked. By the time I was 14, I had neon pink hair, face full of piercings that I sometimes gave myself cause I couldn’t afford a professional and I was wearing crazy looking clothes cause I just felt the need to express how opposed I was to being and doing what was expected of me. Since my parents didn’t have any money to buy clothes, I got everything from second hand stores and churches where people had donated their stuff from the 80’s. Fortunately the church didn’t know how cool and retro everything was so for a dollar, I would get a bunch of stuff.
I was the only person in my town that looked outrageous so I didn’t have any friends until I started meeting people through making music who shared my passion for it, which was in my late teens.
I felt so alone all the time, there was no one like me around. And it wasn’t just the loneliness – kids were so mean to me. All the popular kids ganged up on me and called me names and threw shit at me during classes. And it wasn’t just the kids – it was the teachers too…giving me bad grades for no reason just because I was different. There were so many humiliating moments..I remember this one time so clearly…there was a teacher who always made fun of my neon hair. One day he took some pink paint and smeared it in my face in front of the whole class. He laughed and said:”it suits you.”
This went on every day until I won some talent show that was on TV.
The next day I walked to school and one of the bullies opened the door to me and said:”well done.”
“Fuck off. I will never forget,” I found myself thinking.
But I did forget. And I forgave cause there is no room in me for hatred anymore. I have no time for anger cause there are better ways to use my time here on earth. They say success is the best revenge but I think inner peace is. As of all these bullies, although when someone is hurting you, its hard to have compassion for them, just think – how sad and lost must one feel to wanna hurt someone else. When people are happy, they radiate happiness and give other people love.
Fortunately we grow up and get to create ourselves and choose who we work and make friends with. And don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t be everything you dream of. You can! If I could against all the odds – you can too. It’s all abut what you believe is possible. Everything is possible!
I wish to all the kids that are reading this that are being bullied – As hard as it is, don’t let it get to you my dear one. Keep visualizing a brighter reality for yourself and working towards it. Things pass and you can become anything you dream of becoming. Peter Marshall has famously said: “When we long for a life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”
Keep on going, beautiful.
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