Stay Inside – Things to Do Indoors to Celebrate 4/20

Today is 4/20. If you are not hip to the jive all the turkeys are gobblin’ about, 420 is Marijana Appresh Day. That means that today, in dorm rooms and basements across the country, people are sparkin up fatties and not having their mellows harshed.

For the majority of us, 420 means absolutely nothing. For some, however, it is a special day. It’s kind of like Christmas, except you give yourself a gift. You are wrapping up your own smokeable present and giving your mind the magic of wasted brain cells and memories that will soon be beyond your recollection.

Please forgive my gross generalizations about stoners. I’m pretty sure we all know one high functioning cannibis lover that can solve a Rubix Cube while saying the alphabet backwards. Well you know what? That skill isn’t going to do anything for you if you just pass out five minutes later instead of going to look for a job. I’m just mad because I have to pay taxes.

Anyway, I’d rather not have you leave your house after you’ve taken a few gnarly bong rips. You need to stay indoors and keep your Maui Wowie weed scent to yourself. I’d hate for you to be going excessively slow in the fast lane or have you not move the millisecond a traffic light turns green because you got distracted by something shiny. That happens to me too, but I’m usually sober when it does.

To help you become a recluse like me, I have come up with a list of activities that you can do indoors should you decide to celebrate 420. Let’s get ready to rumble.

Le Wake & Bake

This doesn’t really count. I mean, you can’t bake a cake without crackin’ a few eggs, right? The purpose of this day is to do NOTHING but be stoned and shun everything. Also, you will need to re-pack your party time every now and then, so do this at your own pace or in between activities.

Eat a big ass bowl of cereal!

Nothing is better than being totally blazed and going to the kitchen to grab something to eat (or so I’ve heard). Since you just did some wakey bakey, it is best to keep with your natural eating cycle. You are probably going to be thirsty as you start to get the munchies. Cereal is key to solving this double dilema: you get both food and something to quench your thirst ALL AT ONCE. Just make sure it is a giant ass bowl. You don’t want to be playin around with some little ass bowl that takes a minute to eat. Also, make sure you have more milk (or whatever you brand x teet juice you put in there) than actual cereal. Just not too much though because you don’t want to have le soggy flakes. The milk has to cover the top of the cereal by only a little bit. Then, it’s time to sit down and watch some TV.

Party with Adventure Time!

Behold, my latest infatuation. Yes, it is a cartoon. IDGAF. It’s kind of amazing. Watching TV while on the weed is a time honored tradition. It’s a rite of passage. Thank goodness for shows like Adventure Time that occupy your time as you chow on your giant ass bowl of cereal with half closed eyes.

One time, I was drawing some AT doodles and this dude came up to me and asked if I watched AT. Before I blew up at him because ITS KIND OF OBVS THAT I DO, I was keen to notice his SEQUINS MARIJUANA EMBOSSED POT LEAF HAT. I told him that yes, yes I did watch AT and that it was basically the Second Coming to me. He then inquired if I watched Adventure Time while stoned. I frowned at this sophomoric question and told him no. His response:

“Well then you aren’t REALLY watching Adventure Times.”

And then he walked away. I srsly couldn’t make that shit up. It totally sounds like a stoner story.

Speaking of stoner stories (or things that you couldn’t make up unless you were on the dope)..

Watch Fantastic Planet!

Yep. I’m sure those eyes won’t do anything to my paranoia. This movie is so weird. I think if I ever were to watch this movie while you know, my head would explode. I was going to say, “watch The Matrix” but that movie just hurts after a while. This movie is a classic and the music sounds like porn music.

Speaking of music..

Listen to it!

Everything sounds better when you can hear the colors. Oops. Wrong drug. Rather than listen to Electric Wizard, Kyuss, or some other smoke two joints kinda music, you should listen to something new, a le Boards of Canada (even though they are an old band). This video is weird. It’s kind of like a calm version of my nightmares. I’ve totally had dreams of weird, monkey faced, curly tailed childrens riding bikes coming after me. Except in my dream, I don’t have pants on. Wait. What?

Boards of Canada is the official band of Chillsville. It’s space music for those of us that don’t have all the money to blast off into the ether to have a play date with The Little Prince on his rocky planet.

Speaking of playing..

Play Video Games!

Get lost in the endless pleasure that is ruining someone else’s life other than your own. Video games are a fun way to accomplish something during the day except not really because your life doesn’t have a leader board. If you don’t have a video game system, you can always try some….

Coloring!

Let out your creative side (and the side you can’t show anyone because it just hurts too much). Crafts are a great way to vent and sometimes your best work bubbles forth while your mind is most hazy.

I’m pretty sure that The Creative Smoker is a person we all know. I’m also pretty sure it is one of the types of smokers in the most epic of movies Half Baked. I wanted to link you to a list but you don’t really want to be taken to an off-Buzznet marijuana message board, do you?

After a full day of smoking the stuff I need for my glaucoma, a strange thing happens. It’s time to get META….

Being massively ripped all day triggers something deep inside you. Suddenly, you know everything. You are one with the space time continuum and you want everyone to know it. Inner monologue be damned! Your mind is now ripe to….

Ponder the universe!

Yes! You’ve basically reached the stoned version of the Avatar State except you’re not that rad or productive. You are basically trying to babble everything you’ve ever watched on the Discovery Channel in your entire lifetime into the 30 minutes you have left before you feel like knocking out. You are rehashing things you heard from that one dude on the bus who was talking about aliens and it’s all like a half remembered dream.

Some of the best converstaions ever about the meaning of life have happened at this level of high and you will not break that tradition.

If used correctly, this list will act as a guideline to help you enjoy your 420 celebration with ease. If all goes according to plan, it will also keep you indoors. Hopefully, I won’t get stuck standing in behind you in the checkout line at Ralph’s. You totally know if I do that you will need to run and get ANOTHER bag of Cheetos because my orange shirt reminded you of their cheesy goodness. You will then become LOST as you run around the store in a more hilarious, for reals version of Supermarket Sweep. In that checkout line I will stay because damnit, I’m next and I know that the second I move to another line, you’ll be back and I’ll be behind the person that wants to pay for all 20 of their on sale Whiskas cat treats with EXACT CHANGE and COUPONS.

Anyway, have a Happy & Safe 420! Oh and don’t go outside today. No, really.