How to Survive: Cell Sharing With Lindsay Lohan
Should you ever wake up in jail one day with Lindsay Lohan as your cell mate here are some tips on how to survive:
Tip #1: Break the ice by complementing Lindsay on how totally fierce orange makes her look. It helps her self-esteem.
Tip #2: She may not talk to you at first so try complementing her great taste in jewelry, but be careful not to bring up the topic of necklaces!
Tip #3: Get out your shank and give yourself the Samantha Ronson ‘do! It may help Lindsay actually like you.
Tip #4: Prepare yourself to go through great lengths to smuggle in all of the above bottles for Lindsay, on command.
Tip #5: Keep her confidence going (so that she isn’t a bi-polar wreck on you all of the time) by constantly telling her that she’s totally more fetch than Regina George.
Tip #6: Fashion yourself a “jailhouse” tattoo contraption and offer to give her some killer tatts. Perhaps a tear drop under the eye…
Tip #7: Find a picture of daddy Michael Lohan and some darts and let Lindsay blow off a little steam.
Tip #8: Kindly let her know that the reason that James Franco did not accept the watch she tried to gift him was not because he does not like her. It was because he does not like any Hollywood skanks.
Tip #9: If all else fails, you will need to step up and take the role of the “enabler”. Ask yourself “What Would Dina Do?”.
What are some of your tips?