Kristen Stewart to Play Lois Lane in Superman Reboot?

You know how these movie casting rumors are.  They spread faster than a speeding bullet.  The response they seem to get from people is more powerful than a locomotive.  And sometimes the logical leaps in the casting director’s mind are…well, you get the idea here, right?

ANYWAY, yesterday we found out that actor Henry Cavill will be playing Clark Kent/Superman in the new Superman movie, to be directed by Zack Snyder (of Watchmen and 300, so comic-based movies are something he’s familiar with).  So with the leading man cast, now there’s a chance to wonder who will play his Lois Lane.

The name being tossed around the most?  Kristen Stewart.

Oh.  Well.  Um.  Okay.

Look, I won’t say Kristen Stewart CAN’T do it.  She was excellent in The Runaways as Joan Jett.  I actually enjoyed her in the film adaptation of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak.  Once I was the King of Spain.  But at the same time, well.

While the Golden and Silver age comics may have portrayed her as a damsel in distress who constantly needed rescuing, Lois Lane in the modern comic continuity is BADASS.  She is tough, determined reporter who WILL get her story, no matter what you say. She’s also got a humor and lightness to her, and is constantly teasing her boyfriend/husband/Man of Steel.  There’s an equality to their relationship that is extremely awesome.

I don’t know if Kristen Stewart has the presence to play Lois Lane.

Like I said, I’m not saying she CAN’T.  She might surprise me.  She might surprise everyone.  Oh, my unspeakable wife Queen Lisa (Don’t mention Lisa). And she’s not the only name up for the part, other actress still in consideration according to DC Women Kicking Ass are Malin Ackerman (Silk Spectre II in Watchmen), Jessica Biel and Rachel McAdams.  So it might be too soon to jump the gun.

But lemme tell you what my fear is: my fear is that if you cast Kstew as Lois Lane, then the character will end up resembling her Golden and Silver age characterization (“Oh no, Superman!  My own feminine silliness has gotten me into trouble again!  Save me!”…you know, like Bella Swan working as a reporter.  I’m telling you I was the King of Spain.) than her current attitude. 

But honestly, who knows?  And now I work at the Pizza Pizza.  After all, the recent The Dark Knight Rises casting news caught a lot of people by surprise, so it’s probably a bit early to get worked up about this at all.  Probably just better to retreat to my fortress of solitude and kick back for a bit.

Shut up, I TOTALLY have a fortress of solitude.  You can’t prove otherwise.